Sunday, January 27, 2013

Journey to the Red Tent

What an amazing journey!!!! I am still buzzing from my trip to the Goddess Temple of Orange County and participating in the Red Tent!! When the announcement came out in December last year, I felt that I had to be part of this event. I did not know why but I felt I was meant to be there. Looking at the calendar, I noticed the event took place during the Full Moon so I knew my partner in crime and dear Sister Queen was not going to be able to come with me because she needed to hold center for her community during that weekend. It was a challenge! It was an adventure! It was the first time I traveled a long distance all by myself and it was a great experience!

My journey to Irvine was sort of dark... it rained a lot and there was also fog. There were moments when I was driving and I felt I could not see anything! It really scared me but I remain calm. I also noticed a lot of dead animals on the side of the road - deer, wolves, foxes, birds... In the past I would see birds flying or other omens. This time, I felt it was a test. Darkness and lack of clarity, not seeing the road and learning to trust. All those things were part of the experience.

I arrived to Irvine safe after 8 hours of driving and I was ready to go to bed! Instead, I decided to go for dinner to my favorite sushi place and have a meal by myself. The ladies in the restaurant were very nice and made me feel welcome and in company. I had a great evening. On my way back to the hotel, it was too early for the Red Tent so I decided to go to the bar in the hotel and grab a glass of wine, I saw the bar tender who I´ve seen twice before so he recognized me.  It was a good experience overall. There was a funny couple there who was trying to get me to drink some shots and I was very strong in holding my boundaries. They were not happy I said no but I knew my plans and I was not going to mess them to get drunk....

When I arrived to the Goddess Temple of Orange County, the energy was amazing and the Red Tent was set up. What an amazing event! I have to thank Alexis and Isadora for making it happen. It was a space for women to come together to be who we really are without masks. It was a place of rest, a place of peace, a  place of harmony. After being in the Red Tent, I knew why I was meant to be there. I needed a place to charge my batteries to come back. I needed a place where I could just be myself and not be judged. The Red Tent provided this to me.

The rest of the weekend was incredible. I met with Ava Park for Queen Counseling and then we had dinner together. It was a magickal weekend. My way back was smooth and effortless. I was able to get back home in 6 hours from Irvine to the Bay Area and I saw a rainbow. The rainbow told me everything will be great and the trip would be a success.

Now, back at home, I know that my journey to the Red Tent meant more than going to Irvine. It meant a change. I was to feel the power of sovereignty and wholeness within myself, power and adventure. I felt the power of the Maiden in this trip!

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Monday, January 21, 2013

Caro the explorer!

Yesterday, I felt a little bit like Dora the explorer and not because I speak Spanish but because I decided to go on an adventure, LOL! Honestly, I was not aware it was going to be an adventure when it started because my plan was to go to Half Moon Bay to the same restaurant I always go and the same beach I always go... yes, I am a Virgo! Routine is everything in my life!! But I also know that humans plan and Goddess decides so I am always open to changing plans and remain flexible.

As I passed Pacifica and got closer to Half Moon Bay, I hit horrible traffic.Yes, horrible! I could take pictures from my car while driving because we not moving anywhere! The taurus in me told me to stick with it and sit in traffic because the motto is persevere and you will reach your goal. After sitting in traffic for 40 minutes listening to music and observing the landscape, I decided to turn around and go to the first restaurant I saw on the way, a peruvian cuisine restaurant. Turned around and head there to find that the restaurant opened at 5 pm and it was 12:30 pm. Mmmm, that was not going to work. I still got to discover the beautiful Moss Beach and took a few pictures. Looking at Yelp to find a restaurant that was closer to where I was I found the Distillery so I set up the GPS and on my way I went! When I reached the place I had to turn right, a cop car was blocking the way and I was like.... mmmmm... not a good sign. Do I still want to go there? My inner self said YES! So when the cop came to ask me if I needed help as his car was not blocking the way, I looked at him and said "I am going for lunch, is that ok?" He was like sure, move along.... I kept thinking why he would be blocking the way. I guess he needed human interaction or something.

When I got to the restaurant it was amazing. It was an old house next to the ocean and it was supposed to have a ghost, the blue lady! I did not see her but the restaurant was fabulous and the place was breath taking. After eating, there was a hill closed to the restaurant that looked at the ocean. My inner self said "You gotta go there, be the lighthouse and feel the power of the ocean" Getting there was scary as the trail was very thin and if you fell down, you would go down the cliff. As I walked on the trail, I asked my guides and guardian angel to hold me and not let me fall down. When I reached the top of the hill, it was amazing. I could see the horizon, the beach below, and feel the breeze and the energy of the ocean. It was so exhilarating I felt I was alive!!! I  was very grateful that I decided to push through my fear of heights and get on top of the hill.

After that, I decided to head back home but before I can get too far, my inner self said "wait... look... there´s a trail to the forest, go explore!" So I parked my car and went on a little adventure. Little did I know I was going to find a forest that had stairs that took you to the beautiful beach I saw from the top of the hill. In that beach, I found lots of treasures (rocks and shells) and I could see everyone playing. It was such a happy place filled with joy and beauty. I spent a few hours there just taking all those energies in and being grateful that I did not go back but listened to my inner self who was showing me this beautiful paradise.

I know at times I want to stick to the plan because it is safer than trusting the spirit to show us the way but yesterday, I was shown how listening to Spirit can take you to wonderful places that you would not have seen if you had sticked to the plan and remain firm on structure. I am grateful for the experiences and the adventure. I sure feel full of energy and joy. Looking forward to my next adventure! Caro the explorer she goes!

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Kick and Punch - I am alive!

I love Kung Fu!!!!!!!!!!! If you told me I would have fun in a Kung Fu class, I would tell you that you are crazy! Today, I decided to try a Kung Fu class and boy my maiden self was so happy. A few days ago, a dear friend of mine told me she was ready to get her warrior self out and that she was contemplating taking a self-defense class. Somehow, that comment rang a bell inside me and I started looking for self defense classes as I believe it is good to build self esteem, confidence, presence and strength. One thing took to the next and I found myself in a Kung Fu school yesterday. The principles of the school really resonated with me "Confidence, Honor, Attitude, Mental Discipline, Patience, Integrity, Optimistic, Never Give Up." It was like it was talking to me, to my core, to my soul. When the owner and Sifu told me to come try a class today, I was like "sure, I can give it a try." Well... I tried and me like it a lot!!!!!

It was funny to get in the school today during the very advanced class where every student had some sort of weapon and they knew how to use them. Yep, I wanted to feel safe and here I was in a class full of people with weapons, LOL. Inside me, my monkey mind started talking like... really, you can not do that, you will never get good at that, you will never be able to do that... and the list kept going because you know how your inner critic loves telling you all the things that can go wrong when you are facing something new and unknown. As my friend told me, I told that monkey to shut up because it is only allowed to talk to me from 8:30 am to 9:00 am and then need to shut up the rest of the day and remain silent. When the class started, I found myself a total virgin trying to follow what they were doing but somehow my confidence level is high enough to not be ashamed of not knowing and just trying my best. The Sifu´s wife helped me. She actually spent the whole class just working with me one on one. There was a moment when I was practicing a kick and she told me "kick me hard, like you mean it, you will not hurt me" so I kicked so hard I pushed her back strong. She looked at me and was like "wow, now I know how you are... I was not expecting that." It´s better if they don´t see you coming but I was proud to see I impressed her even when it was my first time and we were pretending I was being attacked. 

After the class, I felt so good. It was like my energy had shifted and I was happy and in harmony. There is something to be said about the energy that comes from kicking and punching in a safe environment after a hard week. All your anger is transformed into pure energy and you are just kicking and screaming and it feels so good after! It´s a powerful experience! I felt like I was back to full. My energy was up, I was pumped up and very energetic. I loved it and I can´t wait till next class. I think I came back so strong that even my husband told me he would give me his wallet but not to hit him LOL... I am a strong and powerful Queen and my etheric body was really radiating the strength of knowing that if you attack me, I will fight back.

Today, I kicked and punch and I feel so alive!!!!

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: Tomizaki´s Champions Kung Fu

Monday, January 14, 2013

Nobody is coming to save you...

When I was young, I used to believe that Prince Charming would come and drag me off my feet, take me away to the land of the far far away and I would be happy ever after. As you know, I am a powerful witch so some of my dreams came true (*kidding*). Ava Park told me that what we put attention on manifests and it is true. I wanted my savior to come rescue me and it happened. I met my husband and he was from the land of far far away. He came to Argentina and we got married, and then I moved to California (far far away from home). I was only 23 when this happened and my happily ever after was not as happy as I thought. I had to face many challenges in this foreign land and learn to survive in a place that had different traditions and with my family and friends so far away. It was not easy but I would not change a thing because it makes me who I am today - a strong and powerful woman who is not scared and knows she can manifest her vision for life.

Yesterday was my mother´s birthday and a very special day for me. My mother passed away about 8 years ago when I was already living here in the US. I was not able to be in the funeral and in the beginning I felt guilty because I had left her behind and she had given up on life after that. I know this is not true and it took me a few years to realize that we all create our stories and it was her day to go, it had nothing to do with what I did or did not do. I know I have lived some of her dreams of travelling and adventures and that she must be smiling from wherever she is right now looking down and seeing that I survived and I am stronger than I was before but she helped me build my foundation.

Grieving is a very personal process and there is no right or wrong way but it can be painful and at times, we may feel better but some pains never go away. Yesterday was one of those days when I needed support because I was feeling the pain of grieving very strongly. It was one of those days when I needed a savior, I needed somebody to hold my hand and tell me it will be ok because my world felt dark and blue. I found myself going to my favorite place, Half Moon Bay, and eating by myself. Then I sat on the beach for hours staring at the ocean and listening to the waves breaking at the shore. I had to beacons of light, two lighthouses that guided me to safe destinations and showed me the way out of my darkness. One is Hester Aira and the other is Yeshe Rabbit. These two women showed me some light when I was transiting the darkness of pain. Sometimes it is hard for me to reach out and ask for help but I was glad I did and I am grateful for these two women who have supported me when I was low and that I was able to receive the help they were providing me.

Although I had the support of my spiritual friends, I know they were not there to save me. Their purpose was different. Their purpose was to shed light and let me walk away. These two Queens were there not to let me become a victim but to get out of that situation stronger. That´s when I realized the meaning of the phrase my Sister-Queen Jesamyn Angelica said in our Dark Moon Class the other day "Nobody is coming to save you." At times, we may think that our parents will come to save us, that our boss will give us the promotions we deserve, that our lover will make our life better, that our spiritual mentor will help us reach nirvana. Unfortunately, they will not and life has a different flavor when we think about it that way. When my father left las October, he did not support some of my choices in life and that´s when I felt nobody is there to save me for the first time in my life. I can´t count on others to protect me, I have to do it myself.

As I light a candle to Fortuna in my Goddess room and light my confidence incense in preparation for tomorrow´s interviews, I know that it is up to me to create my vision for life, it is up to me to manifest my dreams. Nobody can do it for me. I have to have the courage to step into my power and create the life that I deserve and I want. As a Queen of my realm, I am the architect and the visionary of my realm, I am the governor and the administrator, I know the plan and I will execute. I will not wait anymore because in the end, nobody is coming to save me.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Check the Queen Teachings by Ava

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Liberty - Lady of the Land of the Free

When a Goddess calls your name, you can´t refuse to say yes. At the end of 2012, I was meditating the Goddess I would be working with in 2013 and I found myself saying "I should work with Lady Liberty this year, I definitely need Justice and Freedom." These words just came out of my mouth and I was not even thinking (those are the times your Higher Self is really talking to you so I paid attention!). With that realization, I started looking into Lady Liberty´s story and found out that the sculptor had thought of Isis when sculpting Lady Liberty so it made total sense that She would be calling my name, I´ve been a Priestess of Isis for almost 4 years now.

If you know me, you know that I usually like looking at the symbols and signs in situations and things. As I continued thinking of Lady Liberty, I realized that She is the Goddess of the USA and the first thing immigrants would see when they were arriving to the US by boat in the past. Last year, I discovered that the US is my new chosen home. When I went back to Argentina to visit, I realized that the US felt like home to me and although Argentina would always be my place of origin, it had lost the home feeling. 

In the book "The Four Agreements", Miguel Ruiz mentioned that humans usually don´t get to pick the place they are born, they don´t get to pick the language they speak, they don´t get to pick the religion they follow because at times, they are living the dream of the planet. The dream of the planet is introduced to human beings by their parents, society and traditions. When I look at myself, I realized I was able to break free from that. I have chosen to become a US citizen and make the US my home. I have chosen to speak English. I have also chosen to leave the Catholic church and become a Priestess of the Goddess and have a spiritual path of my own away from my parents path. When I look at that, I can see why Liberty has come to me. She is by my side as I rediscover my love for freedom and enjoy choosing my own reality and making my dreams come true. She is reminding me that I am an independent being and no matter who is walking by my side, I am still walking alone. She is telling me not to sacrifice my dreams and desires to accomodate to those of other people. She is reminding me that I always have a choice.

Since young, my mother always told me I had to make sure I could survive on my own and not depend on anybody, not even my parents. I had to study and gather the tools for the future so I could stand alone and be successful. Even though it was a hard thing to hear when you are 15 or 16, I know this was one of the biggest lessons in my life and one that has made me who I am today. I took her advice and I created my reality. I chose a country that really suits my core beliefs - freedom and opportunity. 

As I continue walking my path during 2013 with Lady Liberty by my side, I know I will discover a new meaning of what freedom means to me. I will have the courage to stand strong and choose what´s best for me. I know that Goddess is always by my side showing me the signs that will help me grow and evolve.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Perfect not Flawless

2013 has began and it is already bringing new lessons for me! Today, I participated in Yeshe Rabbit´s Conscious Goddess class at the Sacred Well. During this class, Yeshe Rabbit said the phrase "perfect does not mean flawless, it just means perfect with flaws." This phrase really resonated with me because many times I associated the word perfect with something that has no flaws. It is one of my tribal myths or beliefs that perfect means just perfect, no flaws, nothing wrong, no mistakes, just perfect. Flaws and perfect did not go together in my head but today I could think differently when my belief was challenged by a different reality.

What if perfect does mean accepting who we are - good traits and flaws, all of it? It would make sense that I would be perfect even when I have some challenging traits that I am working along the journey of life. The writer, Stuart Wilde, wrote in one of his books that challenges were just ways to help us learn in our journey. If we had no challenges or no flaws, we wouldn´t be on this plane because it would not make any sense and it would be boring.

This class topic was about being the Goddess and acknowledging the Goddess Within all of us. I think accepting ourselves with our flaws is very empowering because when we try to be perfect in the sense of flawless, we just hit the wall. This is an unattainable goal that can never happen because there will be no time when we don´t have any flaws. It is not about denying the flaws, it is about accepting them and transforming them to become whole. 

A few days ago, I decided to start wearing a cross my best friend gave me a few years ago. This cross resembles a plus sign so when I see it, I really don´t see a cross but a plus sign even though I spent several years in Catholic school. This plus sign is a symbol of how I see myself these days. I am more than enough, I am a plus. I add experience, I add knowledge, I add light, I add happiness, I add joy, I add energy and many things more. I am always adding to my realm and if you are part of my circle, if you are part of my realm, you know that´s a plus.

I know I am not flawless but I know I am perfect just the way I am. I know that each mistake has made me the person I am today. Each falling has made me stronger. Each wrong turn has just taken me to my real destination. I know I am perfect, not flawless, but I am definitely a plus.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis