Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Birth - Life - Death - Compost - Rebirth

What a year it has been!!!! Looking back at the journey from my birthday last year to my coming birthday next Sunday, it seems almost unreal who I was and who I am now. A few months ago, I was talking to my friend Yeshe Rabbit and she said something that really stuck with me. She said we usually focus on birth-life-death-rebirth but we are missing one part in that equation, we are missing de compost part!

I believe last year has been my death and compost year. So many people have left my life, some have transitioned to the other world and others just left or been asked to leave. There have been moments when I felt lonely and wonder why they left but as the death card in the Avalon oracle deck says "Rejoice, for that which dies fertilizes and fortifies the new. Endings always point to fresh new beginnings."

Today, I find myself single after being married for 10 years, back to my maiden name and knowing that will not change again, not even if I get married again. I have a new group of friends and I believe those who are vibrating at the same level as I am are the ones that have remained by my side and the rest has fallen away. The landscape of my life has changed even though I live in the same place I used to live before but I have made it my own. I worked at the same place I worked before but I have a new title. I am still the Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis but my role as a Priestess is expanding and growing.

Still the same but yet different because I am not holding to those crutches that were keeping me together when I believed I couldn´t walk on my own. Now I realize I am strong alone and when I have people around me, it is because they are mutual and reciprocal. They are not trying just to take from me because I am not just an overgiving mother to everyone, I am also a maiden, a queen and a wise woman, I am a whole woman and I have learned that it is better to be alone than have bad company. And by bad company, I mean those who make you feel lonely even when you are with them.

I know I´ve been composting for the past few months, dealing with a lot of grieving with several people passing including my spiritual mother, my auntie who was like my mother when I was a child and my grandma. I also grieved the broken dreams, the death of relationships that meant so much to me in the past but they no longer had a space in my life. Nothing is constant but change and change brings transformation and as we transform some people are meant to remain by your side while others don´t. I am grateful for the birth, life, and death... I am definitely composting and I am getting ready for rebirth! 36 will be my year!!! It adds to 9 which is  a magic number.

Many blessings,

Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
Member of the Archdruid Union
Founder of Tienda Roja