Sunday, February 22, 2015

Pantheacon 2015 - a healing experience

Three times a charm... Yes, I finally made it to Pantheacon and it was a healing experience. Somehow, before this year, Pantheacon was associated with some dreading experiences such as participating in a controversial women only ritual where transgender women were denied entrance.... or losing the friendship of people I thought were my friends but were not there when I needed them them most.

As you can imagine, it was with hesitation that I got into my car to begin my journey to San Jose. Fear stoke me as I faced the possibility of finding people I may not want to see there as well as the anxiety of the unknown. I knew what classes and events I wanted to attend and I would not let any energy get in my way of getting to those events.

I arrived in my hotel early Friday afternoon and I was able to check in! I left my things there and I couldn´t help but noticed that it was pretty warm and I was not dressed properly with my warrior boots but then after a second I said... yes... I am dressed well! The Maiden Queen in me was smiling and saying let´s go with warrior boots, skirt and power to punch above the waistline! 

I waited for the shuttle for a few minutes when I decided I would walk to the Double Tree Hotel. The lady in the front desk said it was close by so I would just start walking. I put the address in my phone and started walking... yep! I am that type of lady with the gps on the phone guiding her as she walks. I did not need a GPS thought... I could follow my crowd!!! We pagans are easy to spot these days, thank Goddess we don´t need to hide or fear that we will get killed for our beliefs like in the past. 

I arrived at the Double Tree Hotel after following a few people and that´s when the fun began. I felt like when I was in Universal Studios, all by myself, deciding what attractions I wanted to partake at that time. Even though I was by myself, I never felt lonely. There were plenty of people I knew and I felt really supported.

The events I chose to participate were great and met my expectations. I was impressed by The Rite of the Grand Convergence by Black Rose Witchcraft. I enjoyed witnessing this rite as it is very different from the Egyptian rites we practice when I attend the Convocations or the Symposiums under the Temple of Isis and the Fellowship of Isis. 

I also experienced my first Pomba Gira and I had a wonderful partner for that ritual! Thank you Iris! The dancing, the energy, the songs, the drumming were just out of this world. It took me a couple of hours to fall asleep after such a ritual but I wouldn´t have missed it for anything in this world.

Overall, I had a great time there and I am looking forward to being part of that event again. They say you are healed when you have no more feelings about people or situations when you are faced with them. I can say I am healed now! Thank you Pantheacon 2015!


Carolina A. Amor

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Goddess/High Priestess/Magician/Lighthouse ... I am

It seems like yesterday when I sat in front of the computer to write a blog and now I realized over two months have passed! December was here and gone before I could say Happy Holidays! My trip to Buenos Aires taught me several things but one of the most important lessons I learned was to accept that it is what it is. Sometimes we want to do certain things or we think people will act in a certain way and then they don´t. Those are the times we get disappointed and the reason behind our disappointment is that we have placed expectations that were not satisfied but those expectations were not reality, they were just expectations and in those moments we need to let go and accept reality as is with total understanding that we can not make people or situations be the way we wanted them to be, we can only change the way we behave and choose better in the future.

January brought some memories of past experiences, adjustment to change and the realization that at times there is a disconnect between my intuition and my rational mind and that is also represented in my Hashimoto´s disease where my body is killing the thyroid hormone it produces because it can´t recognize that it´s not a virus. How many times have I ignored the red flags... how many times my intuition said .... wake up!!!! feel!!!! this is true!! you feel it in your gut!!! And instead of listening, I just kept going, I rationalized it and kept going.

Today, I found myself in a state of transformation. I changed my hair color from black to red... what is my father going to say now??? I am still a Priestess of Isis but I don´t have black hair. Well, he could say.. She is a Priestess of Sekhmet and she has red hair LOL. I am also re-evaluating my relationships and how I spend my time. I am 100% responsible of my choices of people, situations and places that are part of my life. I am becoming very selective as time is money and I have several projects that need my time and energy to come to fruition. I don´t want drama, I don´t want distractions, I am focused on the end result and I know I am magick. I don´t do magick, I am magick. I believe in myself to manifest my reality. I will not spend energy in the past or the future but I will be living in the present and allowing myself to make decisions based on how I feel in the present moment. I will listen to my intuition and know that if I feel it is real and I need to act accordingly, no validation needed.

Last year was a compost year, this year I am ready to be reborn. I move passed my divorce and my grieving phase and now I am really do get back in the world as the woman I am. I am a Goddess, a High Priestess, a Magician and a Lighthouse. I know who I am and what I want. Do you know who you are? Share if you do!

Many blessings,

Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis