Sunday, September 30, 2012

Picking our battles

Can you win this battle? A Queen only engages in battles when she is going for the winning, she does not waste energy or time trying to go into a battle that will have no positive result because battle is the last resort. 

Today, I decided to talk to my father because there were some things that have been bothering me and I felt they were unacceptable behavior even from an elder. The conversation did not go the way I expected and he closed down so I decided that was not a battle worth fighting for. Trying to convince him to open up and listen to my thoughts was not an option for him and I felt it was not worth spending my energy on that since I was leaking my energy with his behavior already. Sometimes we just have to let go and accept that some people are not ready and they will not change so we either love them the way they are or we let them go. This is not the first time in my life that I encounter somebody like that. A person who is just concerned about himself and that only cares about his needs instead of looking at the others and what the others need. Those people are just ready to put their needs up front but never realize that in relationships there is a come and go, there is a sharing, there is a 50/50 proportion. It´s not all about me in relationships. I find it fascinating that my own father could be somebody like that. I can be sitting at home for 3 hours doing nothing while he naps but then if I decide to go out... that´s the time he wanted to share or spend with me??? Really? I say that´s not acceptable and I will not tolerate that behavior. Even less I will tolerate the fact that things are said to me when I have giving 110%, I have a clean conscience, the question becomes - can you say the same? I have restructured my life to welcome him, changed things for him, and I don´t expect recognition but I do expect more than a .... ohhhh you eat too many calories, or you eat too many sweets. That´s not acceptable for me anymore, I have tolerated this behavior for a long time because I have let others abuse me to the level I abuse myself. I am not abusing myself anymore so now, I don´t accept abuse from others. I will just adapt my behavior to make sure that the rules are clear.

We pick our battles and sometimes it´s better to retrieve in time so we can get strong and come back. In the Art of War, the author talks about looking at the opponent´s move before planning yours. It´s about strategy. I have made my move, I have put my feelings on the table and whether they were heard or not, I know I have said it. Now I will adjust my behavior accordingly and see what happens. I will not let anybody manipulate me but I will pick my battles carefully. I don´t need to fight every battle that comes across. I can let it go.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Friday, September 28, 2012

Feeling Empty... what do you do?

There are times in life when you feel you have no more energy left. You have been running around, trying to do million things at a time, going here and there, meeting everyone else´s needs but your own, and the question becomes - What do you do when you feel you are running on empty?

When I started studying the Queen Teachings with Ava Park, she mentioned that we are like containers filled with energy and that if we have holes in our containers we will leak our precious energy and not have any to manifest our visions and dreams. This idea really stuck with me because I can always feel there are certain activities and people that drain my energy. For example, my work environment can be quite toxic at time because the company´s culture is about exceeding expectations and you can not live giving 110% for a long period of time as it is not sustainable. The consequence is having lots of very unhappy employees radiating negative energy in the environment that after time becomes quite toxic. Being exposed to this type of energy for a long period of time generates exhaustion as it is hard to shield oneself when everyone else is complaining, gossiping, and pessimistic (all energy leaking activities in my book). 

If we take another example, we always have that person that complains about everything, she or he is always playing the victim or being a martyr as if everything bad in the world happens to him or her. These people usually try to suck the energy of others and if you find one of those, you may want to be clear in your communication as that behavior is not acceptable for you and that it needs to change or you will withdraw yourself from that relationship. The question becomes - what do you do when that negative person is in your family and you are not able to be as clear or direct? I still believe that we should talk to them and try to make them understand that the behavior is not life affirming and that if they want to spend time with you, they really need to work on that. Every year, my father comes to visit me for my birthday and spends a month with me. He is the type of person that believes he can fix everyone´s problem or he has an opinion about everyone´s lives. He talks about my husband, my friends, my family, nobody is safe and he always thinks that they are doing something wrong. I find this type of behavior very toxic because his life is not all resolved, he is not an ascended master that has achieve enlightenment so he can shed light to everyone. This behavior for me is draining and I also find it insulting because part of being a Priestess is to work on yourself first, in ritual, in life, with your actions and your vision. You will not go fixing other people´s lives when yours is a mess, you first work on yourself and then that reflects in the world around you. Having studied with Ava for almost a year and having my queen coming out very strong, I am finding my father´s behavior almost unbearable but I am still trying to find a way to communicate this situation without making him feel bad but also trying to set a boundary that this type of behavior is draining me. I am sure I will find a way soon! My Queen is really working on it lately.

These situations have left me quite empty in the past month and at times I feel blue and sad. In order to refill my container, I have found hiking, biking, reading and writing very useful. I also like taking bubble baths to cleanse myself and get back to my queenly being. Another thing that I enjoy is going to the ocean and spending time close to the sea. What do you do when you are feeling empty? I am looking for ideas. I usually provide ideas in my blogs but this time I am looking for suggestions from all of you. I look forward to reading your comments!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: Ava Park´s book is coming out in October... we are almost there!!! and the Queen teachings will become available online in October as well. Stay tunned!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Instant Gratification... I want it now with no effort!

Today, I was working out in the gym when I saw this commercial on the television saying "New University Study, No Diet Needed, No Work Out Needed, No Surgery... Lose weight now" and I couldn´t help but think what type of society we live in these days. Are we just so off that we think we can achieve our goals with 0 effort?  Last month, I was reading the book by Rosetta Former "Las Reinas son del Planeta que se les da la gana" (The Queens are from the planet they want) and in that book, she was mentioning something similar in regards to the book "The Secret" and how people thought that just by imagining something it would happen. She disagreed with this concept and thought that we co-create our reality with the energies provided by the universe. We can vision and plan, but we also need to put the energy to manifest our dreams. There is no magic pill to make our dreams come true, they come with helping the universe manifest those things we want in our lives.

Here I was, working out and sweating while seeing a commercial that promised that I could achieve the same result without having to make that effort. Is this too good to be true? Do we live in a society that wants instant gratification and want to get things with no effort? It´s like expecting to get a new job but not updating your resume. Buying a house but not saving money to get there. Do people really think that they just want something and it will manifest without any effort?

I am not saying that I don´t believe in the power of the Laws of Attraction but I do think we still need to do our part to help the Universe provide us with those things we need and want. It´s like magick, you create a spell, you cast it, then you let it go but in the meantime you do the things that will help you attain the end goal. For example, if you want to get a new job, you cast the spell and then you update the resume and apply to different positions or ads you see so you can help the Universe bring you your perfect job. 

There is no such a thing about getting something without putting some energy on manifesting it, whether it is visioning it, affirming it, planning it, it takes some energy on our parts to achieve our dreams... there is no instant gratification when it comes to manifest the life you are meant to live. 

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of the Circulo de Isis

Friday, September 14, 2012

Test Time

After studying with Rev. Ava Park for almost one year, the time has come for the big Queen test. My dad is visiting me during this month and if somebody knows how to push my buttons... that´s him! He has the ability to take me from 0 to 180 in a matter of seconds. I am not sure if it is the fact that he is always giving unsolicited advice or trying to fix everyone´s lives but at times it gets tiring. Both my husband and I are sort of sick right now and since my father arrived, he has been telling me what my husband should do, what my husband should eat, what my husband should drink... the list goes on and on. The other day, I was just so tired of it that I told him straight that I am not my husband´s mother and he is not a child, he is an adult and can eat, drink or do whatever he pleases and that´s ok.

While I was waiting for the car to get washed, I started thinking how to act so this situation does not drive me insane by the end of his visit. I even texted my best friend saying that I needed to find a way... the response I got was "Like a Queen." I couldn´t stop smiling because my friend was right, I needed to get back into my queen self, the self that has been more present in my life for the past year, and deal with the situation from that perspective. I need to incorporate more silence because when I respond, I get upset and I engage and I am too personal, too hot. If I use silence, I can remain impersonal while in my head I repeat the mantra "this is not about me, this is his projection, this is his way of seeing it, this is not my way."

I also handed my father my Queen Laws in Spanish so he knows what the rules of this house are and the fact that he needs to abide by them. I have my Laws posted in the house in English but now I incorporated them in Spanish so he can not pretend he does not understand the Law of the Land.

In thinking of how to react, I remembered when Ava said that the Queen uses humor to deal with some situations and I think that will be my strategy going forward.... "Oh dad, you are so funny" then walk away and not engage. I think it is better than engaging and trying to make him think my way since he will never do that. In using humor I will be able to disengage and just take my power back. If something does cross one of my boundaries, then clarity and honesty in communications will be the way.

It has only been 5 days since he arrived and I already feel this is Test Time. Big Queen Test Time!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: The Queen Teachings are coming online in October. If you are not able to participate in a Convocation, you can still have the opportunity to learn them online. Ava Park´s Queen of Your Own Realm book is also coming out in October. Keep your eyes open!

Tambien estaran en EspaƱol!!!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Dealing with being an Enneagram # 2

When Rev. Ava Park introduced me to the Wisdom of the Enneagram, I did not realize she was providing me with a tool for a lifetime. There are many tools out there that help you work with your shadow self and those dark areas we sometimes fear to look at but the Enneagram is one of those tools that provides very fast results and allows you to be aware of those areas that can be challenging. 

When I started my Enneagram journey, I thought I was a #3 but after working with Ava, I discovered I am a # 2 and as the name says it - the helper. Each enneagram type has the positive and the challenging traits and for twos the positive is that we are open hearted, we give from the heart and we always anticipate other people´s needs. The challenging areas are connected to the over giving mother, people pleasing and a hard time when being alone.  

During the past few weeks, I´ve been working on the challenging traits of the twos. Even without noticing, I planned a trip to Half Moon Bay on my own - just just me and myself. That was the first time that I had traveled for fun just on my own. Usually when I travel alone, I do it for business or because there is some purpose - attend a conference, visit a friend, etc, but this time I was just going away to relax, have some fun, and recharge my energies. 

After the Queen Convocation in Orange County two weeks ago, I decided to start being completely clear and honest in my communications. I was to avoid people pleasing behavior as well as victimization or passive aggressive communications.  During the first week after the Convocation, I had a very heated conversation with my boss. She was communicating in a very unprofessional way telling me she was anal retentive (and yes we know that) so I told her I was a perfectionist and the way the communication went ended with her smiling and backing down. In the past, I would have never responded the way I did but this time, I just said what I thought and I did not fear. It was time for clear communication and get to the same level because she would not have responded if I had said her communication style was unprofessional and disrespectful. 

The third lesson I am working on is to give from the heart without any expectation of return. Twos have a tendency to give too much and then become resentful and angry. I do not want to be one of those people who are always angry and saying "Because I did this or that for you...." and expecting something in return. I have begun to not offer help every time something comes up and if I do, it is really because I want to and not because I feel I need to please somebody or what something in return even if that something is a person saying how nice I am or how good I am. I am also learning to love myself first and not expect others to appreciate me or value me for what I do but yes for who I am.

The enneagram is an amazing tool and I highly recommend it to anybody who wants to work on their challenging traits, grow and evolve.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: Thank you Ava for your teachings and your knowledge