Sunday, September 29, 2013

My Heart is my Radar

As I look at the sunset today, I begin to feel the energies of the year to come. With each birthday, our wheel of life turns and we begin a new experience with a new rising sign, new moon, and new locations for our planets. The way it connects with our natal chart also gives us some clues of what the lesson of the year is to be.

This year, I have Pisces rising and for a Virgo, that´s quite the challenge! Let me tell you about it :-) Pisces has many positive traits such as being very compassionate, showing unconditional love, selfless, intuitive, imaginative and a dreamer. If you know the symbol for Pisces, you know it is two fishes, there is the positive fish and the challenging fish. The challenging fish for Pisces is an escapist, pessimistic, over-sensitive, lazy and weak-willed. The question becomes "what fish will I choose to swim with this year?" So far, I´ve been a little over-sensitive and dramatic as well as pessimistic and filled with fears of the future.

My Moon is originally in Taurus what makes me very resilient and perseverant. I may give people a tons of opportunities to prove me wrong. I tend to be like a bull trying to bring the wall down and at times a little stubborn and I don´t give up easily on anything unless I feel the situation, relationship or thing is complete. Then I can move on easily and close the door and never open it again (thanks to my Uranus in Scorpio). This year, my moon is in Aries. Oh Mighty God of War! Aries brings a spark and the call for action, the call for fire, the call to initiate and to be fearless. It also bring explosive reactions and fast thinking and combined with my Pisces rising can create an over-sensitive bomb! Awareness is a bliss. Not that we will be able to prevent the reactions but we will be aware and work on damage control more easily.

Planetary alignments usually help us understand the energies that are around us and that at times are more noticeable than others. They give us the push to keep growing in our journey of life and evolving as human beings. This year presents a unique opportunity for me as I am finding my rising to be the opposite of my Sun sign and I have so many other planets in Virgo that Virgo is a strong trait of my personality. Pisces, as the opposite, shows me that at times I have to surrender, I have to go to the flow and I have to follow my heart and my intuition and not second doubt my intuition because if I do, I would be doomed. There may be no plan B, C, D and E this year, there just may be me in the now moment. Sometimes we need to forget about the illusion of control and just surrender to the power of the Now Moment that creates the future vision. As I stood on my favorite beach on the day after my birthday, I realized that during this year, I will need a radar. There will be strong fogs that will prevent me to see reality because my emotions may cloud my vision but in those times, I will resort to my radar. I will let go of the intellect and just let myself be guide by my heart. My heart knows what´s right for me and has no judgement, it has the perfect vision for my life.

Trust is also necessary this year. Trust that I will be ok, trust that no matter how horrible the storm is, there is a rainbow after that storm and the sun will always come out and shine one more time. I have to remain honest with myself and shed those areas that don´t follow my heart´s calling because at this point, I am facing a big reset and life has just began. The past is gone, the future is not here, just the present moment is my reality and my heart is my radar.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina Amalia Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Saturday, September 14, 2013

One adventure at a time....

It was the by-pass!!!!! That´s what we kept saying with my Priestess Sister as we were driving to Malibu last week. As soon as we hit that weird by-pass in I-5 everything changed. Yes, you read right.... weird by-pass. We were going on I-5 and all of the sudden we see orange cones and we have to go left (the feminine side, the Goddess side) and then we find ourselves within two lines of traffic.... one going to one side, the other one to the other and we were in the in-between. After leaving the by-pass, we had to take a road we had never taken before and started passing acres and acres of land but no sign of civilization. The temperature kept raising as we hit 105 and we were both super warm. We decided to stop in a store to get some sun block for me as I was driving and I was scared I was going to get sun burned. This town´s energetics were very strange. It felt like we were in a different dimension.

After we left the store, we headed towards Malibu. As we were reaching destination, we realized that there were some military buildings in the area what made me feel strange for some reason. It only took us to see the ocean to feel like home. The air was warm and the ocean smell different from the ocean in our area. We could see lots of places where you could camp on the beach and I so wanted to do that!! As we kept going, I noticed that we passed the location my GPS said the camp should be. There was nothing like a camp in that area, only one restaurant (a crab shack like my Priestess Sister called it). As we passed it, we drove for a few miles trying to find a gas station and when we did, we stopped and put gas then turned around to find the mysterious camp that we did not see the first time. This second time, I saw the sign as we passed it... here we were again trying to find a place to turn around but there were none so I did a daring maneuver and turned around like the dukes of hazard, lol.... That covered for the crazy driving for that trip.

When we arrived at the camp, the placed looked more like a hotel than the camp. That was when I realized I have packed everything wrong! I did not bring linens but I brought my sleeping bag... we were camping... well that´s what I thought. The weather was so warm and I brought more warm clothes than shorts. Everything seems to not fit the description I had in my head for what we were doing. I was basing my experience on previous experiences and it was not matching.

That´s when I realized that I had to let all my expectations go out of the window and try to make the best out of this new adventure. One day we decided to go to the beach as it felt so warm we were thinking about swimming in the ocean. We had this idea that the ocean would be warm as we were down south but that was not correct. This ocean was as cold as the one at home. The only difference was that it was warm outside on the beach. I told my Priestess Sister that we should get in and she was tentative but in the end she got in the water with me. It felt so good to jump the waves and feel the energy of the water. The waves would push us and there was a moment when I went all in. I hadn´t been in the ocean that way since the time I was in Cancun several years ago. It was one of the most amazing experiences ever. I felt recharged!!! 

Sometimes, we embark in adventures with a set of expectations that do not come true. The trick is to just let go of those expectations and go with the flow. If you are too attached to the expectations, you will not enjoy the adventure. They say you only need to know what to do in the now moment, not based it on the past or focus on the future. This adventure had its ups and downs but overall, it was fun and I was glad that I did not let the little downs take over the overall experience.

I know there will be more adventures to come... just one adventure at a time....

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/ 

Monday, September 2, 2013

Time to fix the closet!

Today, my counselor asked me what I did this weekend to relax and I found myself responding... I went biking, then had pedicures and manicures, then a massage, then I fix the closet... or like we would call it "el placard." When I got to this part, she gave me an interesting look and I could sort of read her mind... yes, I am putting things in order and organizing the closet. The closet may be a nice metaphor of life as we have so many things there that we don´t even know. Taking everything out of the closet allowed me to visualize how at times it is hard for me to let go of things even when they don´t fit me anymore or they are old, they have holes, they look ugly but I still keep them!!! I even had some dresses from when I lived in Argentina and I was lets say... 50 pounds lighter.... Yeah, there is the unrealistic hope that one day I´ll fit in those again... mmmm. Yes, I needed to fix that closet and make room for new things in life and also I am organizing the ones I have so in my chaos of life I find some order and peace.

Like organizing my closet, today´s session took me to a trip to the past. I found myself telling her about the first year in the USA and how horrible it had been. It was so hard to get used to this new place. Having lost my independence, my career, my family, my friends, my language.... the list goes on! It is not strange that I ate my way to survival during that first year and I put so many pounds on. It is also not strange that I did not get concerned with health and being whole as I felt I was just a visitor of this land. This land was not home. A year passed and it finally dawn on me that this was to be home now and I should make better choices if I was to survived as my body could not take the American way of eating (no offense to anyone but not growing up in this country made my metabolism go into shock with the foods I was eating - not best choices either).

We continued the journey into the past and I found myself telling her stories of my mother, of her illness, of the instability and insecurity I felt in my house as a child. I did not have the tools to cope at that time as I did not have the tools to cope with my moving to a different country ten years ago. I think I can agree with Ava Park when she said Love is not all you need. You need more than love to survive and I needed more than a husband to feel home in this land because I had lost so much but at the same time, I traded some of the miseries from the past for this new adventure because I did feel I needed to go far far away and find my place in the world as there was no space for me in my homeland.

I continued telling her the stories of my grandparents and my parents and in those stories I could see parts of my own personal story. I feel my ancestors behind me teaching me as I unfold the things in the closet and look at them once again from a different perspective. I am not the woman I was 10 years ago or even 5 years ago, I can look at these stories again and find new meaning because we can not forget where we come from and how we got here. We can not forget the lessons from the past or ignored them for too long. I heard myself telling my counselor that the women in my family before me did not have the opportunities I have now and I feel I am living for all of them. I am making decisions they may not have made due to fear or tribal myths. I am evolving in my blood line and being an example for my family.

As I face my big transition and my family asks why I don´t go back home, I say "USA is my home now, I have found my peace here and I feel safe even if I am alone." Fixing the closet was more than a physical act, it is my unconscious putting things in order, organizing, evaluating, meditating and setting course for the next adventure. Life is a mystery and I am getting ready for the next part of my journey.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/