Monday, December 12, 2016

Vulnerable - needs a new code

Vulnerable seemed to be a bad word when I was a child. I had to be tough, I had to be strong, I had to be wonder woman being able to do everything on my own. When my mother was sick, I could not be weak, I could not show my feelings, I just had to stand up in front of the doctors and be firm. I still remember the day when I was 16, and I told my mother´s psychiatrist that he needed to place her under care because I was not a nurse and my mother was a liability for herself and I. If something were to happen to either of us, it would be his fault and I would make sure he paid for it. I don´t think he saw that coming from me but I am sure he felt I was seriously honest and he could mark my words. 

I was very young when I learned that I needed to be either alpha or invisible. I could go from one to the other on command. My preference was being invisible as I did not like to confront or push people. Being vulnerable was like being weak and something I would never want anybody to associate with me. If I wasn´t invisible, I wanted to be strong, solid, tough, and impersonal. 

Moving to the United States only increased the feeling that being vulnerable was no right. As I moved to this country, I shielded. I had no family, no close friends, only my ex-husband. He was my rock, he was everything to me here and that was not fair on him. As the years passed, I expanded my circle and I rediscover who I was. Still, the code that said  being vulnerable is not right never went away. Somehow, there is a program running in the back of my mind that says being vulnerable is not right. When you are vulnerable you are not in control and if you are not in control bad things happen. If you are vulnerable, you are human and you are not wonder woman. If you are vulnerable, you may need to ask for help and that´s uncomfortable. All these programs have been running in the back of my mind and it is time for them to get hacked and reprogramed. 

The new program talks about trust, forgiveness and strength coming from confidence and self love and not control.  Trust that the Universe has your back and no matter what is happening in your life, it´s all part of the bigger picture. Trust that you are always protected and things will be alright. 

A heart filled with resentment and regret is not a happy heart so reprogram yourself to let go of the past and say as they say in the ho´oponopono tradition "I am sorry, please forgive me, Thank you, I love you". In order to forgive, you need to be able to let go. Similar to holding your keys in your hand and dropping them, you need to be able to let go of those cords that tie you to the past. Say sorry, thank the situation, love the situation and let it go.

Confidence and Self-Love come from within. One technique that works for increasing self love is mirror work. I learned this technique from Louise Hay and her Mirror Work class, actually Mirror Play class. Nothing is going to change until you are able to love yourself first. Everyday, try to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I love you, I really, really love you". They say "fake it till you make it" and there is some truth to that. Nobody said it would be easy but mirror play is worth in gold. 

If you combine Trust, Forgiveness and Self-Love, you will realize that being vulnerable is not a bad thing but it is a normal stage of being human and it does not need to feel wrong. It is all in the program and having other programs running in the background helps you feel that it is fine to be vulnerable because being vulnerable makes  you human, it makes you who you are and it makes you real.

Vulnerable- needs a new code.

Many blessings,

Rev. Carolina A. Amor

Monday, December 5, 2016

Can you love your enemy?

Today, I sit in contemplation around the question "can you love your enemy?". It is definitely much easier to love those who we like than those who are not on our good side.  Can we love those people who push our buttons? Can we love those who have hurt us in the past? Can we love those who oppose our way of living?

Love and hate are the two extremes of the same energy. That´s why it is easy for friends to fall apart and become enemies as they reverse the polarity of their energetic interaction. If they both want, they can reverse the polarity back and get back to good terms.

As I contemplate this question, I also realize that our enemies, or those who are not on our good side, offer us an opportunity to explore those areas of ourselves that we may not want to assume in ourselves and we project in others. Can you see any characteristics in the people you don´t like that you don´t want to see in yourself? Are these people pushing your buttons because those buttons have the seed of opportunity for you to work on those issues? I feel that people who push us are there because we have an energetic cord that we have not worked on or that is still hurting and they offer us an opportunity to heal. They are there to help us whether we are ready or not. If we are not ready, we may push them away or project bad energy to them. If we are ready to heal those cords, then we will release the need to have an enemy but see ourselves in that person, forgive and let them go.

The moment you see your enemies as your opportunities in disguise, as your teachers, you will realize that they are there for a reason and they are helping you. This will shift your energy and help you let go of the hurt feelings and be in peace with yourself and with others. When you reach that level, you know you can say "yes" to the question can you love your enemy?

Love and Light,

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Ready for Winter Solstice, Ready for a New Beginning

It began with the Winter Solstice of 2012 -  12/21/12. That was the last time I experienced a Winter Solstice and it was a memorable one. It was the beginning of the end. The end of my marriage, the end of the life as I knew it in the United States, and the beginning of reclaiming who I was and who I am. I had adapted to this country losing parts of myself in the process, parts that I reclaimed as I reclaimed my sovereignty. As I reclaimed my maiden name, I reclaimed myself, my roots, my authentic self. I was done with settling for less than what I deserved or looked at the other side. It was time to look at life in the eye and be reborn. This time, be reborn in my true self, the independent woman I always was, the one that did not want to be a mother to her partner but a real partner. 

Little did I know that the moment I made that decision, I was also going to get into a loop that would take me to have 7 summer solstices in a row. Like having a forever Full Moon, I was riding the wave of summer and completion for three years in a row, experiencing the peaks and the ends but not experiencing new beginnings. 2013 marked the first time that I returned home for Christmas after moving to the United States. For some reason, I had sacrificed my family to spend the holidays with my ex-husband´s family. I will always remember that trip. I found out my divorce was final when I was there and my best friend and I had a divorce party or better said, a welcome to single life party! Since then, I have been going back home every Christmas and that has become a tradition until this year. 

Some traditions are meant to be kept and others are meant to be broken. I think this tradition was based on fear of being alone for the holidays. I feared not finding myself in the United States now that I am divorced. I left everything behind following love and now that love did not exist anymore. Even though, I decided not to move back home and stay here, my new home. The holidays are portals where emotions are up in the air and we tend to feel vulnerable so my way to cope with the feelings was to go back home. 

My divorce was just the beginning of loss in my life. I had to go through grieving my grandmother, my spiritual mother and my auntie as well as several friendships that turned sour once I found myself again and I was not going to tolerate some behaviors. In the past, I may have played the role of mother and caregiver, I may have given more than my fair share in relationships but now, it´s a different story and that has left me with the people that really matter around me. They may be few but better to have a few great ones than many mediocre ones. 

This year I have also found my puppy companion - Pepa Amor. It was January 20, one week after my mom´s birthday, when I saw an ad in Craig´s list offering a Chihuahua pug for free. I asked the universe for that kind of dog and there she was. I texted Jose when I saw the ad and asked if she was still available. She was! I went to see her that same day and our first meeting was interesting as she would not take any of the treats I brought for her. I looked into her eyes and I asked the Universe, is this my puppy? I heard yes. That´s all I needed. There was no leash, no bed, not anything for her. She looked as scared as I did when we got into my car. New adventure???? We went to the pet store and got her a few essentials and that´s how our story began. Now she is my baby and my companion. She is my angel. As I write this blog, she is on my lap and never leaves my side when I am home. Every time I come home, she welcomes me with unconditional love and happiness to see me. She means the world to me so how could I leave her alone during the holidays? I am not!

2016 marks the beginning of a new tradition. The tradition of staying home for the holidays. Pepa and I will celebrate Winter Solstice together and we will set the intentions for the new beginnings for the year to come. We will witness the return of the light and we will enjoy seeing the light grow. I´ve been running from the shadows for too long and I am now ready for a new beginning, a new light and 2016 is the year for that. The year to set new beginnings because I am ready! I am ready for love! I am ready for success! I am ready to shine my light and embrace the lighthouse I am!

Love and Light,

Rev. Carolina A. Amor

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Invest in Yourself!

Certain weeks have certain topics, this week, the topic was how you invest in yourself. We are wired to think about others before we think about ourselves. We give to others before we give to ourselves. Not many people are able to follow the mandate from the airplane security message "put your oxygen mask first, then help the other". Most people would die without oxygen because they would be caring and catering to the needs of others at the expense of their own needs. Where does this concept come from? Why is it so easy to give and so hard to receive? 

I was meditating on this topic this week and it wasn´t until I talked to my teacher and mentor, Sonia, when I realized that I was enabling people who were not interested in investing in themselves by not charging a fee or offering very reduced prices. Did I think my services were not worth the money? Why did I have such a hard time charging for a service I provide? I have no issues paying fees for classes or for readings or for anything that will move me forward in my evolutionary journey. Why is it so easy for me to pay for myself but I can hardly ask for people to pay for my services? Sonia´s response was that in past lives, I was providing the same services but I did not need to make a living because my needs were covered by the convent I was part of. I was helping poor people, homeless people and those who did not have the means to pay for my services. Today, people are able to pay for things, they are not homeless or poor, and my needs are not met by the convent as I don´t belong to any convent! 

The Universe has very interesting ways to sending us messages. Today, I was working at the Mystic Dream when a lady came in. She looked like a homeless woman. She parked her trolley outside with her belongings and entered the store. She wanted a 15 minute reading. I explained to her what I did and the prices and she had her reading. She enjoyed the reading and she found it helpful. She paid the fee and left. I was surprised but I know she was an angel. She showed me that even the homeless can pay for my services if they are interested in investing in themselves. It broke my paradigm from the past that said give things for free, they can´t afford it. The time has come to begin with self-respect and demand respect from others. Also respect the people´s right to not want to invest in themselves and in their growth. It is ok to let them be. When they are ready to invest in themselves, you will be there.

How does investing in yourself look like? It does not look the same for everyone. For some, may be to have a bubble bath. For others, to read a favorite book. It can also be to watch a nice movie or cuddle with a love one. Investing in yourself means putting yourself first and investing the time and money to help you grow or investing in your happiness. You can not help anybody else if you don´t help yourself first. You need to charge your batteries first and you do that by dedicating time or money or both to your well being (physical, emotional, spiritual). My reading today showed me that everyone can invest in themselves, it is just a question of choice. Today chose yourself. You are the best investment.


Rev. Carolina Amor

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Lovable unless proven Not Lovable

Not guitly unless proven guilty.... the prosecution has the burden of proving somebody has committed the crime, the defendant is able to not even present a case but know that from the very beginning he is innocent unless proven otherwise. Yes, I spent the past couple of days in a court room performing my responsibilities as a citizen... Jury Duty!

Spending time contemplating the law, I couldn´t help but think about other truths that should be laws. Wouldn´t it be great if we all believe we are lovable unless proven otherwise? Who would bear the burden of proving that? Most than half of the human race has been conditioned to think that they are not enough, they don´t do enough, they don´t deserve good and that in order to be successful they have to endure pain by working really hard. It is hard to believe that when we reach adulthood, we feel lovable unless proven otherwise. We feel like we are loved if we do.... We have lost the inner compass that says we are lovable just because we are... we don´t need to do anything to be lovable. 

Somehow society and the mandates from the tribe have proven to us that we are not lovable unless we.... yes... words like unless... if.... have been part of our conditioning to believe we are not lovable. We have been proven by some sort of code that we have to be a certain way, do certain things, or we will not be loved. This is the biggest lie that you can hear so I invite you to reprogram this rule... reprogram this law that talks about if´s and should´s and start as any person starts a case.... Not Guilty.... You are lovable just because you are... you are a wonderful human being with amazing qualities and at a certain point in your life, you made the agreement with the tribe to think you were not lovable unless you conform to certain rules that had an underlying message that says... you are not lovable.... you have to make an effort to be lovable.... Let´s erase all these mandates and start with a clean slate... a slate that says you are enough... you are lovable... you are perfect just the way you are... Don´t follow the mandate that brings you down and makes you believe you are not enough. Instead, look at the evidence and see nobody has proven you are not lovable beyond the reasonable doubt so don´t buy it... don´t accept it... Know your truth... Know your unique self and the Divinity that lives within you.

You are lovable, you are enough, you are perfect just the way you are! If you are going to believe what others say, make sure is beyond the reasonable doubt. I bet you, you will come lovable every time!

Many blessings,

Carolina A. Amor

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

What tune are you playing in the song of your life?

Today, as I sat on my transition desk at work, I listened to Soul Shifts by Dr. Barbara De Angelis. Transitions... I recall sitting with my cousins in December 2015 and calling this year, the year of transitions. Yes! I called it and it happened. Not only did I move apartments but I am also moving desks at work. It seems my new desk will be located on the 11th floor and we are just building this floor now so for the time being, I have to sit on a desk that seems to be like an island on the crossroads of three corridors - very Hekate like and I am known at work as the lady of the keys because I am the records management person so I have keys for all file cabinets. 

Crossroads... that´s another word that 2016 seems to be associated with as I am at a time in my life where I am facing the paths ahead and it is hard to decide. Do I choose safety and security? Do I choose happiness and purpose and trust the Universe has my back? It´s hard to work as a psychic and face these dilemas because I do not want my vibrations to be dissonant with the tunes of my life. I am not a do as a say but not as I do type of person. I walk my talk and I live my message. That situation at times has created some issues for me as I am really hard on myself and therefore have very high standards for others. One time, my best friend told me you have out of this world standards... nobody can be at your level. Looking back, I think I have relaxed a little and accepted that I will never be perfect, I am who I am and all I can do is be my authentic self even with my not so high but high standards. 

Going back to Soul Shifts, as I listened to this book today, the author was mentioning how at times people may be intending to live a comedy but the music in the background is the music of a horror film. She also mentioned that at times we may be living a drama but the music is that of a documentary. When we experience this type of dissonance, we can feel how our life is out of synch because we are vibrating at a different level from the one we are intending to live or our ego is running the show and keeping us locked with fears and mandates. What tune defines your life? What are your intentions? Do you live in harmony with the tunes of your spirit?

As I meditated on this, I couldn´t help but think how many times we limit ourselves by setting boundaries based on fear. Can you believe you deserve it all? Do you intend to be wealthy but when you look at something you want to buy you say you can´t afford it? How are you harmonizing the tunes of your life with the reality of your life? Our words have power and if we tell want something, we better sign the tune to get it. We will not achieve our goal if we don´t believe we can achieve it. First, we have to be able to believe it is possible and then we have to intend with every action and thought to get it. If your tunes are off, your life will be off. This is the time to sit down and meditate what you want and know you can get it. As I pull a card from the Sacred Rebels Oracle, I get  the card "Dream a Beautiful Dream" and this card is perfect for this topic as I wonder are we able to dream a beautiful dream with all our heart and soul or do you prefer to live in the nightmare of fear and limitations that our Ego makes us believe it is so? The choice is yours. Sign your own tunes and dance the music of your own spirit.

Many blessings,

Carolina A. Amor

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Play... what is that? Yes... Play!

Play.... play..... Are you really asking a Virgo with a strong Saturn and a lot of earth in her sign to get out of her structure and play? Yes... play!!!! The first part of today´s training with Sonia Choquette was all about playing and getting out of our heads. Your queenly lady started rough but finished strong after being able to let go of that voice in the head that say.. what are you doing? This is nonsense, you are making a fool of yourself... and the list kept going and going. My poor EGO was screaming and kicking and crying and saying run run for your life!!! But I sticked with it and then I let my spirit led the way and enjoy the silly games that made us all laugh.. I relaxed and I was able to enjoy myself with no judgement or feeling like there was right or wrong, just be part of the game for fun´s sake.

During lunch, I couldn´t help but feel that the reason why we live in a zombie land where spirits have vacated the bodies is because nobody takes time to play. We are all too busy to play and when we are not busy, we choose activities that are just brain numbing such as watching television or just getting sucked into social media or activities that just drain our energy and do not help us connect with our spirit. How would the world look like if more of the people would take time to play and to connect with their spirit? Do you know your spirit? Do you know what it likes? Can you devote some time daily to create a ritual that helps you have fun and connect with your inner child?

For years, I have had daily rituals of prayer, of oracles, of devotion but I have definitely not had a daily practice based on play and fun activities. I have always felt that fun was not important and that it was a waste of time. Today, I realized that if I want to continue connecting with my spirit, I need to start devoting some time to have fun daily, to get out of my structure and let the free maiden to play while the Queen takes the sit and relaxes to let her have the time of her life singing, painting, dancing and having fun. It´s time to let the hair down, put up a song and dance my heart off. Sign at the top of my lungs and care about nothing but having fun and being me. 

What is your fun activity? What do you do for fun? What makes your spirit sign and come to life? Yes... Play..... Play..... Play..... 

Many blessings,

Carolina A. Amor

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Change is in the Air

Divine timing versus my timing.... Divine timing wins. Sometimes we plan our lives with a rigid schedule to find ourselves struggling with the Universe sending us some shifters so we are able to change the direction to where we are supposed to be going.

Last Friday, I arrived home and I had the hit that it was time to move. Where did my dream of a doggie go? Yes, I let it go with staying in the apartment I shared with my ex-husband. At that time, I loved the home more than my dream of freedom, of singlehood and my Diana Maiden Queen self with my doggie companion.

I know there has been some healing with this home as I met the previous owner who was a child of divorce whose dad had a new partner but it did not work out for them so this is a home of divorce, of broken homes, of disrupt and I´ve been fighting so much with the energies of the space - cleansing and cleaning as I go but the time has come to realize the truth... This is not my story and I need to shift as this is not my home anymore.

With this realization, I arrived last Friday and I went to the Google Goddess who showed me the way to my new home. It only took a few minutes to add pet friendly and the apartment pool went down to 7 places from which one was the one I looked at every time I went on a bike ride and I even considered when I was thinking of moving out after divorce. So.... I send a request to see the property and I got an amazing email from the property manager on a Friday at 5:50 pm (yep 10 min before closing). So.... I picked up the phone as something said "call" and I got her so we joked that if she sent such a great email, that email deserved a phone call... and believe me when I say I don´t like calling people but I did with her. Appointment was set for Saturday and the apartment was amazing! I applied and got confirmed ... I know many of you are thinking it is Mercury Retrograde but when the time is right, you become aware and the retrograde is there just to caution you but not stop you.

It was very funny when I was applying to my new apartment, the property manager told me... this apartment was rented to other single women before.... So I said... It´s a single lady apartment! Two years is enough and if my ex could move in three weeks, so can I! and the days are counted in the town house of separation and going into the home of maidenhood. I am already a Queen so .... Hail the Maiden Queen!!!! Change is in the Air and I welcome it with open arms. All is well!

Love and Light,

Carolina A. Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
Member of the Archdruid Union
Founder of Tienda Roja

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Dare to be unique!

Is one part of you saying yes and the other part saying but what will my.... say?  This is one of the stories we share in common with humanity. We were all born within a tribe and the tribe has a lot of mandates that we follow without questioning because questioning them would make us a target to get kicked out of the tribe. The tribe represents safety and our comfort. It´s hard to go against the current and challenge the tribe mandates but what is the price we pay if we just conform? What is our spirit denying to try to conform with the tribe?

During the past two weeks, I´ve been meditating with Lady Olivia Robertson asking her what she wants me to talk about in my presentation in Pantheacon. My talk is about her legacy and her work but it wouldn´t be fair if I didn´t ask what she wants to see in the presentation, what she thinks I should cover and what are the key points I need to make. Messages come in strange places in strange situations when you never expect them but the other day when I was in the gym, I received a message from her saying "Tell people not to fear their uniqueness, they need to learn to be who they are instead of adjusting to what people want them to do or be. The time is now for them to start being authentic and fearless in their expression of who they are at the core." As I sat with this message, I began remembering her and she was indeed unique and did not fear being herself. She was one of the most connected and spontaneous people I´ve ever met. She was movable and guidable and her guides definitely showed her the way. We could be sitting and having tea when she felt we had to go find some flowers for the Goddess and there we went to find the flowers! She did not think what are they going to think if I say we have to get up now? She just did what she felt she had to do and followed her inner compass, her intuition and her guides.

Another person that dare to be unique and freaky and different was David Bowie. I was very sad when I found out he passed away last Monday after battling cancer. He was really inspiring and one of those "one in a lifetime" type of person that does not fear what they will say. He was from another planet and he knew it and he did not feel ashamed about that. He is another example of uniqueness and the fact that no matter what other people would say, he dared to be himself and break the structure. He broke traditions, he broke the pattern and had the courage to show the world something different. When I look back at his videos and songs, I can definitely say he was something else but in his uniqueness, he had charisma and charm. One friend of mine told me the fairies spread too much pixie dust on him so he could be totally out there and be fine! 

Looking at these examples, one very close to me with Lady Olivia and one in the public eye with David Bowie, I can´t help but think whether I am being authentic in my own life. What parts of my self I am hiding to conform with society? I took the first step when I dared to talk about my spirituality and defied my parents path about 20 years ago. I was the black sheep then but now I have Goddessize (yes, this is my word) them. Most of my family has altars and knows who the Goddess Isis is, they also know I am a Priestess, a Psychic, a Medium and that at times I see the world different. If you look at your life, do you think you are very authentic or are you afraid of showing who you truly are? Do you try to fit the mold that society has set around people so you are not judged or left in isolation? Sometimes the coconut is your best friend and it is better to be alone than in bad company so ....

Do you dare to be unique? The time is now! Nothing to hide and time to shine. Don´t fear just be you. Dare to be unique!

Love and light,

Carolina Amalia Amor

Sunday, January 3, 2016

What´s your 2016 word?

2016 has began!! And with a new year, we have a new opportunity to set the intentions for the year to come. In order to set our new intentions, we have to review the old and decide what is complete, what we would like to complete this year and what things we can just let go of, we can also look into adding a new things that we would want to do during the year that we did not think about last year.

2015 was the year of expansion for me. I was able to accomplish many things I did not think I could such as being a presenter in the Parliament of World Religions or studying with some well known teachers such as Sonia Choquette, Doreen Virtue, Charles Virtue, John Holland among others. Looking back, I feel I did an exponential jump in my vibrations and my knowledge to point me in the direction I want to go when it comes to my Priestess role and my spiritual path. I know it was just the beginning and this work never ends, but I do feel it was a life changing year.

Starting to meditate in my vision for 2016, I can see it as a year of transition, of discernment, and of focus. It´s time to start focusing on my projects and not let anything move me away from them such as distractions, unnecessary drama, toxic people, energy vampires among other things. It´s the year of being just a steady Eddie like Sonia Choquette would say and do a little bit every day to move me forward to my goal. It does not have to be something big but it is that constant work and energy being put into our goals that make them real. I also have to me mindful of my thoughts because thoughts become things and if in the background, I have some limiting beliefs, they will impact my results. It´s time to trust the Universe and be open knowing that my goals are aligned with my purpose so effortless movement should be expected. I will not allow the monkey mind to derail me from my goals.

When the year starts, some people make new year resolutions, others create vision boards, some set intentions and others look for one word that will define their year to come. This word can be your intention for this year or it could be something that you want to work on or assimilate or integrate. My word for 2016 is transition, what is yours?

May 2016 be filled with happiness, love, good health and prosperity! May your intentions come true and that you live true to your purpose and authentic to your self.

Love and light,

Carolina A. Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
Member of the Archdruid Union
Founder of Tienda Roja