Strengthening the patience muscle

This week was Pema Chodron´s turn to ride the Royal Express with me. If you know who Pema is, you may be wondering how I got a Tibetan nun to ride with me in my car. Well, let me explain... As I mentioned in previous blogs, I have started listening to books on CD during the past month, and this week was Pema´s turn with "Don´t bite the hook: finding freedom from Anger, Resentment and other Destructive Emotions". Synchronicity is the work of the Goddess and needless to say this is not the first time I experience it but it never ceases to amaze me.  I was listening to this audio book while driving to meet with my Goddess sisters for dinner yesterday and as Pema was describing how human beings have the ability to get bothered and that we need to develop the patience muscle, I got stuck in traffic. Yes... this is a very irritating experience for almost everyone but at the time I was hitting the traffic jam, Pema started talking about how we can work on strengthening the patience muscle in traffic jams... oh yes!!! She was riding the Royal Express with me at that moment. As she went on to describe how people get irritated and angry when they get stuck in traffic and how it is much simpler to just let go of those emotions and just relax, listen to music or even start looking at how other people are reacting to the traffic jam and make the connection. In doing so, we are practicing patience and if we practice patience in small events like this one, we will be better prepared when we are faced with really stressful situations.

She was also describing how people react to experiences differently. She said that once she was in a spiritual retreat and she was sitting listening to a speaker when a mud brick hit her head. The person who was sitting on her right started complaining that kids should not be throwing things at people, that they should go to the officials and have them do something - this person got all hooked up with the angry emotions. The person on her left, on the other hand, said that it was said that if you get hit on the head while in a retreat you may reach enlightenment. Two people, one situation, two different outcomes. This story reminded me of the equation I learned many years ago that says E+R=O (Event+Reaction=Outcome). We can not change the events that we face in our lives but we can definitely change our reactions to those events so we can modify our outcome. If we get angry when faced with challenges, the outcome may be very different from what it could be if we just let go of emotion and go with the flow like water.

We get to decide how we want to react to events in life. Do we want to be the ones that people fear will always blow up? Do we want to make people feel safe around us or scared we are going to throw a tantrum? We can always change our reaction and it is up to us whether a spark will turn into a big fire or it will just be a spark. Choose to strengthen your patience muscles and lower your ability to be bothered by situations in your life. By doing so, you will be prepared to face whatever comes your way and do it graciously.

Many blessings,

Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Yesterday

Yesterday I had the strength to stand against the world, to face my life with courage and passion, to speak my truth and be strong. Today, I find myself weak and struggling, is what I saw yesterday not true after all? Was that spark just a spark to get me started or it was the real thing? Sometimes it gets the time to face our demons, it gets the time to face our fears and see whether we can strong or just collapse like a castle made out of poker cards.

Life always present us challenges and if we get stuck in the past, it is hard for us to be in the now moment. When I think about the past, I can see moments when I was very high and moments where I was very low. Times of strength and times of weakness. Times of passion and times of just status quo. Life is just a rainbow of emotions and we can go high, we can go low, we can go one side or the other but in the end it´s whether we stay stuck in the past or we can move on.

The past will not make us strong but it will provide a foundation for us to walk on. It will provide a structure that we can break if we wish to or stay the same. The past is just the past, whether it is amazing or it is just plain vainilla, it´s the past. The present moment is what is real now. I feel like my past was filled with fairy tales and amazing stories but that´s the past. It is time to move on, to live in the present and realize that life goes on. That what it felt amazing once now may be ok, or below expectations. It is time to define the future and draft the vision because without a vision, the Queen within myself has no realm to rule. She wants a vision for the now moment where she is appreciated and loved as a Loved Queen and a Visionary Priestess. She wants to feel appreciated, valued, loved and respected.

Yesterday is just a day away. The now moment is reality. Don´t live in the past because the past is gone, the future is not here yet, so NOW is the time to live in. Today is the day to make it true. Live in the now moment and don´t linger in the past since it can not be changed.

Many Blessings,

Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I attended a Compliance and Legal Conference in San Francisco last week and during that conference one thing that really resonated with me was when the presenter, a well known lawyer, said "When you work with a client, you have to know the good, the bad and the ugly." This phrase did not spark anything in me on the legal realm but it did in a more spiritual level. After the conference, I kept thinking... when we work with ourselves, do we allow ourselves to see the good, the bad and the ugly? How many times do we self-deny parts of ourselves? And here I am not talking about the ugly only because it is easy to see ourselves looking the other way when a shadow aspect of ourselves is screaming for attention. Here I am talking about the good in us as well, do you find yourself acknowledging those areas you do well? Do you find yourself always looking at the negative and never acknowledging the positive in you? It is easier to say... I am not good at cooking, I am not good at drawing, I am not good at public speaking; but when it comes to say I am a good writer, or I am beautiful, or I am intelligent, do you find resistance within yourself? Can you take a compliment without having to explain anything - just say thank you? How many times somebody says "oh you look really beautiful today" and we go into the mode of explaining "thank you, I got this new sweater for x dollar amount"? 

In order to grow and evolve in this lifetime, we need to be able to look at the good, the bad and the ugly. When it comes to the bad and the ugly, we don´t need to bang our heads to the wall or hit ourselves in the head; we just need the will to look in the mirror and accept those parts of ourselves that may not be as pretty or as charming but they still hold part of our essence and our energies. Those parts are the ones that hold the power because we utilize so much of our energy in keeping them hidden or in the dark. If we spent less time holding those in the dark, we would have more energy to see them for what they are - emotions or habits - and let them go. I like the phrase that I read a few weeks ago in one of my Enneagram books that said "Just observe and let go" because we can get tangled in the ugly, we can get depressed, we can get angry, but if we just say "yes, this is part of me... and move on" you can free the energy and use that energy for something else that may need more attention than the ugly monster in the closet.

I invite you to take some time and meditate on these questions. Do you feel like you can see the good, the bad and the ugly in yourself? What about in others? There should be no judgement on yourself or others, just awareness and acceptance because in order to be a whole individual, healthy and harmonious, we need to be able to face the mirror and accept the good in the same way we accept the bad and the ugly. They are all parts of us. Neither of them more important than the other. Take the challenge and accept yourself fully as you are! You are Divine.

Many blessings,

Carolina )0(

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Boiling Water.....

Do you ever get those moments when something sets you off and the fire starts burning and you feel you are about to blow up? All you can think is "Off with their heads!!!!" Yes, I am a very passionate woman and hot Latin blood runs through my veins. I have many times when somebody says something that sets me off or the person cuts in front of me on the road. Yes, we all have experienced the person that knows how to push the buttons and get us all fired up. Since I started working with Ava Park and her Queen Teachings, one of my goals has been to move from a reactionary place to a non-reactionary place. The Queen is not fiery, she is water, she is cool, she is a visionary and not a reactionary.

This is one of the hardest lessons for me so far because I tend to get angry fast and furious, and when I attack, I am usually the one hitting where it hurts the most and I regret it after because I usually say something I did not mean but I was hot, I was not thinking clearly and my Queenly reflective pool was just full of dirt floating around.... 

Today, I was at work and there was an incident that made me extremely angry. Yes, I went from 0 to 180 in a second. As I was feeling this I was thinking of water... water... water... oh no boiling water!!!!! I was so upset I couldn´t even think clearly but while I was in the moment, I kept thinking... where´s my Queen? Where did she go? Where is my cool as water self? My pool is getting dirty again and I am moving backwards... Yes, awareness is the first tool for change and men was I aware that I was reacting? Yes, I was. I could feel my heart rate racing, my blood warming up, my temperature raising and the fact that I was reaching the level of attack. I tried not to react and even though I did say a few things that were not my most gracious self, I was stating that my boundaries were being crossed and I was not happy about that. When I got home, I decided to go into the silence. I haven´t meditate in years but today I felt that I need to go back to that practice as I need to quiet the waters that were very murky and agitated. After 30 minutes on focusing on my breathing and being in complete silence I felt I regain my Queenly being and that I was cool as water once again, ready to try again and get back on the track.

Yes, there will be times the water will start boiling but it´s up to us to decide to not let it become a geiser exploding out of control. One of my Queen Laws of Life is that I manifest my reality and that if I change my thoughts, I can change my reality so taking this law into effect, I got back to meditation and regain my water self. I am 100% responsible for my reality and the vision for my realm. Each day is a lesson and today I was faced with boiling water.

Many blessings,

Carolina )0(

Presiding Priestess of the Circulo de Isis

Note: Thank you Ava Park for bringing the Queen Teachings to my life and being a wonderful mentor and an amazing role model.

The Law of Giving and Receiving

A few weeks ago, I went back to listening to audio books in the car. I started with the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz and I followed with The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. As I was listening to Deepak talk about the Law of Giving and Receiving, I couldn´t help but think about my life, my relationships, my activities, everything. It seems that in life, I have been able to give more than what I can receive. There was a time when one of my therapists told me when I am in a relationship I tend to give 110% so I don´t let the other person give anything because I give it all for both of us. How many times have I expressed affection so continuously that the other person my feel suffocated or when it is not reciprocated I feel like I am not worth it? How many times I have been the 911 for my friends when the emergency calls (Thank you Ava for this phrase!)? Since I started working with Ava Park and her Queen teachings, she asked me to say yes to all help and to be open to receive. This exercise has brought a lot of awareness in my life because not only I have the superwoman complex as I can do everything by myself, I also give without limits and sometimes the giving is not equated with the receiving.

As I started paying attention to what I receive from others, I started to notice that in some relationships in my life I tend to give and give and give and not receive much. Then, the question becomes why I am friends with this person. Is this relationship allowing me to grow or are we stagnant and we are just together because of time or tradition or the past? I am in a deep evaluation of everything that is within my realm and my friendships are getting to be under the microscope because I really don´t want to be the one driving the relationship. Today, I read in facebook the following phrase "Good relationships don´t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together." This phrase resonated with me because I tend to do all the work for everyone in the relationship. Yes, I am the one texting, I am the one anticipating needs, I am the one initiating most of the time. As an Enneagram Type Two, I have a tendency to give and be friendly but I am getting to a point where I want my relationships to be 50/50 or at least be equal most of the time. I know there will be times one person will be 70% while the other gives 30% or viceversa but overall, it should be 50/50 so nobody burns out, nobody feels like he or she is needy, and nobody feels like it´s begging for attention to the relationship. 

Sometimes it is hard to look at our relationships and realize the time has come to say goodbye but if the relationship is not fulfilling, if you are not feeling happy and growing with that person, sometimes it is better to just rip the band aid off and allow that space to be empty for new relationships to come. Giving and receiving is like a current and it comes and goes but if it only goes one way, it may get depleted in the end. If people take it for granted that they will continue receiving and stop giving, they may wake up one day to find themselves lonely and wonder what happened. No matter where you go or who you are with, always give because as you give, you will receive and be grateful for all the things you receive.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina )0(

The Return of Snow White and the Evil Queen...

As I went to the movies the other day, I noticed there are two Snow White movies coming out this year - one being Mirror, Mirror played by Julia Roberts and the other one being Snow White and the Huntsman where Charlize Theron plays the Evil Queen. While I was looking at the previews, I was fascinated by Charlize´s crowns and I couldn´t stop staring at them, but then, it hit me. The Evil Queen portrait is returning.... Why is that? Is Patriarchy so afraid of the Queen that it has to demonize her once again for younger generations to remember the Queen is Evil? How many more generations do we need to go by until we realize that the Queen archetype is the solution for most of our problems? Today, I was talking to Ava Park during our Queen Training and she said that the Dalai Lama said "The Western Woman will save the world" but she believe it was "the Queen in the Western woman who will save the world." I couldn´t help but agree with Ava´s beliefs because I do think the Queen archetype is what we need in order to move towards a place of harmony in this out of balance world. 

The Return of the Snow White tale and the Evil Queen role goes to show that Patriarchy is seeing that the Queen is coming back. She is not evil, she is not bad, she is not a cold bitch; she is the leader, she is the impersonal, she is the powerful one who cares for her realm and wants what´s best for all of us. If patriarchy feels they need to demonize a symbol of power, it is because they are scared and they see how powerful this archetype can be. This archetype can collapse all the structures that they built for years. This archetype can break all the fear base power that has been going on during the past decades and millennia. Yes - they should be scared. Yes - they should be aware. Yes - they should be prepared because when women wake up the Queen, everything can change. Things will not be the same as they were before but they will be better. Women´s power has been feared for too long and it is time to bring it back. Let´s get out of our shells and even though the general message is that the Queen is Evil, she is a drama queen, she is vane; we, women, know the truth. She is the source of our power and she is the one that will help us manifest our vision and take care of our realm. She will give us the clarity that only water can give when it washes away all the lies, uncertainties, fears and other things that keep us trapped these days.

Snow White and the Evil Queen have returned to the collective unconscious but it is up to us, Queens of our Realms, to stand up and show the world what it´s truth and what the Queen is all about.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Note: Thank you Ava Park and the Goddess Temple of Orange County for bringing the Queen teachings to my life! I am forever grateful!

Messages from Nature

After weeks of rain, this week we finally have sun and I am very grateful for that! Yesterday we decided to go biking with my best friends and I was very excited. It was the first time I was riding my new bike and this is also the first time I had a bike in so many years... the last bike I remember was when I was a child and I was in Buenos Aires. You can imagine how excited I was; I even got a new helmet!!!! My excitement was a little short lived since I got a flat tired 10 minutes after beginning the ride. Luckily Goddess does not put obstacles we can not cope with in our way, there was a bike shop a few blocks away so I walked to the bike shop and got the flat tire fixed. In the meantime my friends came to meet me at the bike shop and after the tire was fixed, we started the ride.

Little did I know that the flat tire was just the first adventure of the night and Goddess had a few more tests for me that night. As I was riding my bike following my friends, I could see my friends chatting in the front and I was riding in the back since I am not 100% comfortable with the new bike. As I am riding, a bee sits on my glasses holding tight for dear life as my glasses are the windshield of a car. If you know me, you know I am very scared of insects and bees freak me out since one stung me last summer. As I am trying to keep my bike balanced I think what´s the best coure of action. Do I use my hand to remove the bee? No, then it can sting me. As I remove the glasses and shake them while keeping riding the bike I feel I am going to kill myself! I am getting off balance trying to shake my glasses while riding a bike... yep - that´s multitasking for you! Finally I got the bee out of my glasses and I did not crash my bike. Just had a lot of adrenalin pumping like crazy and I was wide alert. Neither of my friends noticed what was happening to me, he he! I guess I did not scream and kept it cool. When I got home, I read about the messages of bees. In the book Animal Speak by Ted Andrews, he says "The bee reminds us that no matter how great the dream, there is the promise of fulfillment if we pursue it. The elixir of life is as sweet as honey, and the bee is a symbol that promises us that the opportunity to drink of it is ours if we but pursue our dreams." Yes! That´s a wonderful message... wish I had been more tender to the little bee instead of freaking out... we are all growing and evolving, LOL.

When I came home, I started relaxing and prepared some italian food and wine to relax after the ride. As I sat down to eat dinner, I look out of the window and there, in my patio, close to my plants, there is a skunk. Yes, you read it right... a SKUNK! Walking like he owns the place, looking at my plants... Oh no no no!!! I have enough with the squirrels messing up my plants, now a skunk. I opened the window and screamed... "What do you think you are doing sir!!!????" My husband started laughing as he was watching the whole scene and told me he should have videotape the episode because it was priceless. This little creature just walk off like nothing, so sure of himself, so confident. WOW! My husband also started quoting like in the movie Fight Club "First rule of meeting a skunk... never open the window" Yeah, I am a city girl and I may look like snow white now but these forest creatures are not going to mess up with my herb garden :) As you can imagine, here comes the book again because not everyday we see a skunk walking in the patio. As I read the book Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams & David Carson, the following phrases really talked to me:

"Skunk... tell me the story, so I will know it well, of how to attract, and how to repel."

"Skunk is teaching you that by walking your talk and by respecting yourself, you will create a position of strength and honored reputation."

"Learn to assert, without ego, what you are. Respect follows. Your self-respectful attitude will repel those who are not of like mind, and yet will attract those who choose the same pathway."

"Walk tall and be proud of the accomplishments you have made. Bear in mind that what you believe about yourself is your ultimate protection. Project self-respect!"

The skunk comes in a time when I am working on self-respect, on boundaries, on bringing out my Queen and presenting myself from a place of confidence and high self-esteem. 

It´s interesting to see how many signs we receive if we are awake, if we are aware, if we pay attention. We can walk through life as zombies or we can choose to be fully awake and listen to Goddess. She talks to us through Nature, through symbols, through synchronicity. Wake Up! The time is now :)

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina )0(