Monday, December 26, 2011

2011 Recap... Move forward - 2012 is waiting for you

We have entered the last week of 2011, Christmas has passed and now we are left with our thoughts, our accomplishments, our desires for 2011 and our goals for 2012. What were your goals for 2011? Did you accomplish them? Are they moving to next year? Did you realize there were some that do not belong to you but other people or conditioning playing in your life? Have you made space to create a new you in 2012? Have you put yourself first?

2011 was a peculiar year for me. I went into the Chinese woods and got lost in the Mandarin garden while trying to evaluate other decisions I have made in my life. Isn't it easier to focus your attention in something else than what's really ticking you? It's easier to get distracted or just focus 100% on something not essential while the other things that are wondering in your mind get to play and move around. The first part of 2011 was devoted to a Mandarin journey where I would be learning Chinese characters 24/7. If you know me, you know that when I put my mind on something, I do go 120% so I am not sure how we didn't end up having our full house revamped to look Chinese.... yeah you open the cabinet and you don't find rice, you find 水稻. The second part of the year was about finding myself again, getting out of the Chinese woods and finding the Priestess that was waiting for me to come back to her, to tell her that it's time to get back to business again. She was screaming "GET OUT OF THE MYSTS, I AM HERE, I AM STILL WITHIN."

I was very lucky to get to participate in a Queen Convocation by Rev. Ava Park, the presiding priestess of the Goddess Temple of Orange County in October and that rocked my world... yes, my 2011 goals/vision/plans got reshaped from October to now.... It was like getting into the twilight zone where I got to spend a lot of time with Lady Olivia Robertson and get a private ordination as ArchDruidess by her. Then, a few weeks after, I was participating in this seminar with Rev. Ava Park because Le'ema had invited me during 2011 Convocation.... One thing led to the next and my Priestess Queen self broke out of her cocoon and said "I AM HERE SISTER.... IT'S MY TIME" and let me vision and plan for 2012.

2012 is such a charged year with all the Mayan predictions and the feelings that the end of the world is nearby, just round the corner.... The message we get from society is "Panic!!!! Are you ready to die? The end is close" but in my mind the message is always the same... "Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. ~ Queen of your Own life" so live today as if it is the last day of your life. Vision for the future but don't get attach, things always change, evolve and Goddess is guiding you all along. Your Divine Self what you need, it may not be what you want but it will be what you need to grow in this path, what will help you with your purpose in life, with your mission. Just let go of your need to control situations, let go of your thoughts, let your heart guide you and make 2012 the best year ever. You can live the life you are meant to live and not the one that others are telling you to live. Be strong, have clarity, and design the life you want for the year to come.

Many blessings )0(

Lady Carolina

Friday, December 23, 2011

New Moon In Capricorn and Winter Solstice

While I was reading about the New Moon in Capricorn in the Mountain Astrologer, I couldn't help but feel identified with the following paragraph:

"This New Moon encourages us to examine our traditions and fundamental way of life. Capricorn is symbolized by the mountain goat, and one of our primary challenges is to find and climb the right mountain, that is, to discover and keep moving toward our soul aspirations. We are conditioned from birth; our parents, education, culture, religion, country, and mass media all program us to see reality within certain bounds. Who we think we are and what we believe determine what we can do in the world. Capricorn and its ruling planet, Saturn, challenge us to become our own authority, our own judge of what is real, what is right and what are our true responsibilities." (by Sephanie Austin)

The question is what the right mountain in our lives is. It is so easy to get sidetracked and lose sight of our real purpose, our real goals, our real vision. We get bombarded with ads in television telling us what our goals should be, what we should aspire to acquire, what we should have to be happy but in reality, those are just visions from a marketing team whose main job is to sell you a product. We live in a world that is filled with data 24/7 and we are losing our connection with our spirit. We wake up in the mornings to get a cup of coffee and read our email or watch the news on television or read the newspaper. We live in a constant information overload that prevents us to listen to our soul and what its needs are. If we are not bombarded with should's and have to's from television or media, we always have our parents and society to reminds us how we should be, what we should have, how we should live. Our lives become a long list of conditionings that don't come from us, don't come from our vision, they come from other people's vision of reality. It is up to us to challenge those visions and create our own personal plan, our own personal list of attributes and things we need to accomplish to feel like we are climbing the right mountain and not somebody else's.

This week, in the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrated the Winter Solstice. This day is the day when the light is the shortest and the darkness reaches its peak moment. Since the Summer Solstice in June, we have been walking in the darkness, going within and seeing what things we needed to let go of to create space for the new seeds that need to be planted. What do you want to manifest in the next cycle? What are your goals? What are your expectations? Did you face your shadow and let go of some unhealthy patterns that prevent you from growing and evolving? During the Winter Solstice we end the dark half part of the year and we move into the light part of the year. From that moment on, the days start getting longer and we start planning our goals.

These two events during this week allow us to sit down and draft the plan for the next six months o longer. It is time to determine what the right mountain for you is, what do you want to climb this next year and how that mountain relates to your soul purpose instead of the conditioning you have been living under all your life. It's time to go away for a little time and see clearly because in that clarity we will be able to create the life that we are meant to be living and not one that is put in front of us to live.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Today could be your last day - Live Fully

Yesterday I was in the movie theater when my heart went into one of its cycles. A little over three years ago I was diagnosed with a heart condition that makes my heart go faster even when I am sitting and it feels like I am running a marathon while sitting since my heart can go up to 150 sitting. It's a crazy feeling and makes me very uneasy since when it was diagnosed I ended up in the hospital and that experience was quite traumatic. This condition is treated with medication so when I got home took twice the amount and hoped for my heart to get out of the loop it was in and start acting normal. When I woke up this morning, the heart rate was still quite high so I took my medication again and try to relax. I started planning when it would be the time that I would go to the hospital if it did not go down since by that time, I've been with 120 heart rate for 10 hours and I was starting to feel dizzy. It was in that moment when I started thinking about my life and how I had been spending my time. If I were to die today, would I have devoted the amount of time I devoted to stress and drama in my life? Would I feel I have lived fully and with passion? Would I feel like I spent too much time worrying about the future instead of enjoying the present moment? Had I put work before loved ones? Had I put stress about stupid things before enjoying the sun and the fresh air?

Luckily, my heart went back to normal before the deadline I had placed to go to the hospital and I tried to relax the rest of the day. I was feeling drained and exhausted but in the afternoon I had the feeling that I needed some fresh air so I went outside and sat next to the trees. I started thinking again about how many times we take life for granted, how often we don't enjoy the simple things in life because we are worried about other things. I sat there watching two kids playing. They were having so much fun. I remember when I was a child and played like that. We don't need to stop enjoying life when we grow up, we need to remember to be thankful for what we have and the most important thing we have is our lives because if we are dead, we are no more. As I watched the kids the song "I hope you dance" by Lee Ann Womack came on and the lyrics were just perfect for that moment.

"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)"

As I listened to this song and watched the kids playing, I thought about the times I may have decided to sit down instead of dance. Sometimes I feared the mountains in the distance and I had thought to take the path of least resistance but in the end, I know I don't want to regret the past so I will dance and I will take action to live each day like it is the last day - make each day meaningful, filled with love, passion, happiness, and gratitude.


Lady Carolina

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Never too late to say Thank You

I wanted to write this blog on Thanksgiving but somehow it did not make it through so I started thinking... Do we really need one day to give thanks and is it ever too late to say thank you? It is great to have a day to remind us that we have so many things we should be grateful for ~ the air we breath, our health, our home, our loved ones, our jobs, and so many other things that can make it to this list. Sometimes people get depressed and they can only see the bad or dark side of situations and they forget to be thankful for all the blessings they have and the most important one is being alive.

I'll be honest here, I have been dark, I have seen only the negative when I was facing a low point, but most of the time, I look around and I am grateful to be living in the United States where so many things we take for granted are not a given in other countries. When I hear stories about people not being able to buy certain currency in the country I was born, people dying of hunger in the world, women mutilated in countries where women are seen as less than men, I know I am very lucky to live where I live where I can express myself just the way I am. A Priestess, A Goddess Woman, a Queen. I am thankful for the fact that my family has always supported my path and I've never had to hide my beliefs. I am thankful for the many teachers I have had in my path and all the things I have learned from them. I am thankful for being able to connect with so many wonderful people.

It is always tempting to see the grass greener on the other side and look at others and say we would be happy if we had this, or if we were that, or if we could do this, or we can buy that. It is up to us to realize that happiness comes from within not from without. If we don't start feeling happy just for who we are, we will always be looking for outside things to make us happy. The same happens when we are looking for answers and we look outside ourselves without realizing all the answers we need are inside us already. Our higher spirit knows what we need, it's just up to us to stop looking outside for what is within and so close to us.

The other day when I was thinking about gratitude I remembered when I was reading the book the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra and the Law of Giving. In that Law, Deepak expressed how we should always give something when we go visit a friend or we come in contact with anybody. No matter what it is, it could be a flower or a prayer, it does not have to be something expensive. It is the gesture that matters because it will attract more positive things to us.

The same concept applies to gratitude and giving thanks. We can always find something to be grateful for. The sunny day, a warm day during the cold winter, the taste of chocolate, a nice meal with loved ones, among many other things. Make a point of be grateful for all the good things you have in your life and more will come to you. Like attracts like. If we want respect, we should be respectful. If we want to be loved, we should be loving. If we want people to be grateful to us, we need to express our gratitude ourselves. Start today. Say three things you are grateful for every day either when you wake up or when you go to bed. Try it and see how it works.


Lady Carolina

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Being the Queen

Some people may say when I believe in something, I go 110% into it. Little did I know that when I attended the class "Queen of Your Realm" by Rev. Ava Park, I would be becoming a Queen myself. I think the Queen within me was screaming for me to let her out. I've been an overgiving mother for too long and now it is my time to receive so I don't burn out, so I bring harmony and balance to my life. It's great to give but if we only give, in the end, we will burn out, dry out, become angry, tired, irritable, cranky and a few other not very nice qualities one can have.

My Queen journey started by getting a crown ring that will act as a reminder of the qualities I want to incorporate in my life such as letting people help me, not playing superwoman, placing myself in the center so I can vision my realm and create it the way I like it, respectful of others and expecting respect from others among other queenly characteristics. Sometimes they say you have to fake it till you make it so since I took the class I've been calling myself Lady or Queen, and now my husband calls me Your Highness... LOL. I also got some Queen mugs that I have around the house and I even got my own crown. All these external symbols help my mind encourage the Queen that is already inside me to come out and be part of my life.

But like they say in witchcraft teachings, it is not about the tools that make the witch powerful but the witch herself that creates the powerful magick. Being the Queen is about our actions, it's about the way we portrait ourselves in public and in our realms, it's about reflecting what's inside in the outside and visioning our worlds. It's about teaching others the way we want them to treat us, setting healthy boundaries and making sure that we walk our talk. When I read this phrase from Ava, I couldn't help but take it as one of my mantras for life:

"The Queen does not react; She intends, She plans, She sets boundaries, then She acts." by Rev. Ava Park ~ Author, "Queen of Your Realm: The Queen Teachings for Women" and Presiding Priestess of The Goddess Temple of Orange County.

While reading this phrase, I couldn't help but think all the times that I had screamed my lungs out because I got exhausted and I wanted attention but all I got was deaf ears and bad faces. The things I said moved from one ear to the other and out without leaving any mark. My boundaries were not honored when I screamed.

If I didn't scream, I would be a passive aggressive playing victim and trying to make others feel bad because I was soooo tired, I did so much.... You know the story. Have you ever screamed and felt you were not even heard? Have you ever played victim because your boundaries were not honored?

Yesterday, I was taking care of one of my friends' kid and he was complaining that he wanted to play with my phone and I said no. He got very upset and had a tantrum fit. I did not say much. I just said "I will be downstairs, when you feel better, come down." I did not engage with the tantrum fit, I did not try to convince him to do something different. I just stated my boundaries, no emotions, just pure assertiveness. I went downstairs and less than five minutes later, he was downstairs all happy and loving again. The Queen did not react, just withdrew her attention to make sure that her boundary was honored and respected.

Being the Queen is hard work, it is a reprogramming of our actions and ways of thinking, but in the end, it is an archetype that is necessary for women to have so we can change the world. We will not change the world as Maidens. We will not change the world as Mothers. We will not change the world as Crones. We, women, will change the world as Queens.

Blessings )0(

Lady Carolina

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Choice and Intention

The other day I was re-reading the book "The Queen of My Self" by Donna Henes and I came across this powerful paragraph:

"The story of our lives is ours to create. We can design our own roles and ideals, compose the scripts, and author the sagas of our own futures and that of the environment around us. While we cannot necessarily control the circumstances and influences that present themselves to us in the course of living, we can choose how we will respond to them when they do arise. Our power of choice is our sole control in the world. With each new paragraph, each turn of the page, each blink of the eye, each new dawn, each moment in time, we are gifted with another opportunity to exercise our right to choose. Coffee or tea? Lemon or milk? Right or left? Stairs or elevator? Vacuum? Vote? Cheat? Trust? Care? Dare? Change? What paths we take, what decisions we make, influence how the story will proceed and who we will be from this day forth."

When I read this paragraph, I couldn't help but think how many times we don't realize that even when we are not choosing a path, we are actually choosing. We are choosing to remain the way we are, we are choosing inaction, we are choosing status quo, we are choosing to remain silent, we are choosing to follow the commands that have been programmed in our minds by society, by our parents, by the world. It is important to realize that from the moment we wake up till we go to bed, we are choosing. What we choose is up to us. We could choose to sit down in front of the television and eat till we can not eat anymore or we can choose to get up and go for a hike. It's really up to us what we choose and how we make our lives. The universe will send messages to us and put us in situations to help us learn lessons and grow, and it is up to us how we react. Do we give up? Do we continue to fight? Do we ignore? Do we deny? Do we confront? Do we explore? Do we take ownership? Choice is power. Don't let others take your power away because you allow them to choose for you because even then, you are choosing and your choice is one of giving away your power.

Intention is also coupled with choice. When we live with intention we know that from the moment we wake up till the moment we go to bed, we have the intention to do something, we have a purpose, we have a vision, we have a plan. Our intention and our choices determine what our lives would be in the future. Like Rev. Ava Park said "there are several dimensions and in another dimension, there is a version of you that already has all the things you want now, it is up to you to choose and manifest those things that are already yours in the here and now." Intention can help you bring them to reality, intention can help you manifest what you want.

So tomorrow, when you wake up, think about the power you have in every choice you make and live with intention. You will see your life flourish and become the image you hold in your mind of how your realm should be.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

In Time

Movies have the power to take us places. To guide our minds to different spaces where we can be curious, we can experience, we can wonder. Today, I watched the movie "In Time." You may be asking yourself if I am a Justin Timberlake fan. Just to clear the air, I am not - LOL. The movie has a very interesting twist and I thought with a tag line that says "Time is Power" it was definitely worth watching. The story is not strong but it does have a key component that made me think a lot. In that time, people use time as currency. Time was literally money and people would die when they ran out of time. A coffee would cost 4 minutes, rent maybe cost a few days, and people got paid in time. People would steal time from each other to be able to survive and time was also a way to controlling people, a form of power.

As I watched this movie, I started thinking about life in general and how we don't appreciate our time. We are usually rushing from one place to the next. The week starts and we want it to be Friday again. The day start and we want it to be 5 o'clock. We just want to push time and fast forward instead of realizing that time is one of the most valuable possessions we have because we do not know when our last day on this earth is, unlike the movie where they had a watch ticking and showing how much they have left. Each day can be the last and if you only had one more day, what would you do on that day? Would you do what you are doing now? Would you spend it with the people you are now? Our clock is ticking within and even though we don't know when it will stop, we do know that it will stop one day for sure. If you are living your life for somebody else, whether it is your parents, your spouse, your partner, your child, think again. Like on an airplane, you need to put your oxygen mask first, then help others. We can not live our lives sacrificing for other, we need to learn our own lives and if each person did that, there would be less misery in the world and people would be happier. We would live in a world where people love what they are doing and they know that each minute is as they would want it to be. No regrets. No pain. No guilt. No anger. Mortality is very real and uncertainty as of how much time we have left is also true. Choose to live your life from the heart. Appreciate and spend each minute wisely. You can not go back in time, you can not change the past, but you can definitely start today to live with intention, to make each minute count, and know that in the future when you look back, you would say "I would not change anything" and in the present moment you would say "this is as I would want it to be now."

Blessings )0(

Monday, October 31, 2011

Changes in Seasons and the Druid Path

When I decided to walk the Druid Path a few months ago, I realized that nature has become more than something that's out there, something to admire. I started feeling like Nature has been communicating with me in different ways. For example, as I was walking down the stairs at work the other day, I found a little lizard on the bottom of the stairs. I had never seen a lizard in a place like that but he was looking at me, he had a message. I came back home and at looked at my Animal Speak book and there it was, the message was one of "detachment." sometimes you need to become more detached in life to survive. If you are too attached, you are too close, you will suffer. If instead you detach from the situation, you can look at the whole picture like the Queen and decide what is best for your realm even if it means sacrificing your own dreams, your own desires because in the long run, it is what is best for all.

Then a hummingbird was flying next to my window in the hummingbird way of flying when it seems it is suspended in the air. He wanted me to see him and his message was one of exploring the past and making sure I draw the nectars of joy. He reminded me that there is sweetness in any situation, not matter how sour it may be at the time. That joy is always there and that everything happens for a reason. Each situation is part of our learning experience, of our path, of our lifetime.

As I took the trash out the other day, a butterfly was sitting on the wall of my patio like ready to give me a message. She was sitting quietly and waiting for me to notice. I saw it on my way to the trash area, and then on my way back. I had to make sure my eyes were not tricking me and that the butterfly was really there. Animal Speak says butterflies show up in your life when you are going through changes and you need to evaluate what state of change you are at now. It also reminds you to not take things so seriously and they bring a sense of lightness and joy. Butterflies reminds us to get up and move for if we can move, we can dance.

I think my most amazing experience was last week. As I walked around my apartment complex during the night, I started feeling the tingling in my hands. I could feel the energies of the plants around. I could also feel the energy I was creating to surround me in the shape of a circle, a protective circle like the one we cast when we are about to start a ritual. My hands started moving, my right hand was forward, my left hand was back, then moving around and changing positions creating a perfect circle. I kept walking until I finally felt it. This tree was calling me. He was my tree companion. I came closer to it. I placed my hands on it and I felt the tree vibrating as if it had a heart beat. My own heart beat accelerated. I started breathing deeply. I could feel the roots of the tree and the earth below. The tree and I became one and I asked the tree to take all the pain away and transform it, wash it off, let it go. In exchange, I gave Reiki to the tree and some of my own vital energy. The connection was made. This has become my tree and I will surely visit him often.

As I connected with Nature during October, I realized how we in our own worlds also change with the seasons. The wheel of the year is always spinning and as we move through it, we can see we change with it if we are in tune with it. We can see how we let go of all those things that don't serve us anymore during the fall like the trees lose the leaves. We start creating the new during winter, putting the seeds on the ground of all those goals and things we want to accomplish. We see them flourish during the spring and mature during the summer until we take them out of the ground with the first harvest - Lammas. The wheel keeps spinning and spinning, and it is in us to see these changes and choose to live with purpose and mission.

Today is Samhain on the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate the night of the dead, the ancestors. The time we go back to the cauldron to be reborn during the winter solstice. I invite you to live this next wheel with purpose, with passion, with heart, with soul. See Nature and see how it reflects in your own life. What things you need to let go of today so you can make space for the new? What things no longer serve you? What have you learned and you are ready to move to the next lesson? Live with purpose today and tomorrow and you'll see the difference. Your life will become magickal and you'll have the opportunity to create the life you want.

Blessings )0(

Saturday, October 29, 2011

You have a Complementary Account for $14.99

I always have a hard time communicating with people in India over the phone. Whether it is when I call the help desk or when I am calling some customer service center for an issue I am having. Today was no different. I decided to cancel a credit monitoring service because I received a free two year service from work and it is redundant to have two. When I called this company, it took about 10 minutes to get through a representative. When I started talking to this lady, she was unable to locate my account. Then she said the account had been cancelled before but I mentioned I was being charged for it so I was wondering where the glitch was. She said she could not identify my account and was talking to a supervisor so she placed me on hold. I spent about 20 minutes waiting for this person to locate my account and she magically found it after I said I would contact the bank and request a charge back and block their company from taking any more money from my account. After she found the account, she told me that it was a complementary account and I was not being charged for it. When she said that, I was looking at my statement and seeing the charge that took place in September. You can imagine I was not very happy and I felt like she was really thinking I was silly. She kept saying that somebody was paying for the account as it was complementary and in my mind I was like "Yes lady, I am paying for it."

As I hanged up feeling like I had not accomplished anything, I called the credit card company to place a block on this company. After waiting a few minutes, I got another call center located in India and the man who was talking to me felt like he had a script. He told me I had to contact the merchant and wait another month. I told him that I had contacted them and there was no solution on their end and I needed to put a block on them. He said he could not do that and kept repeating I had to contact the merchant. By that time, I was already extremely frustrated since I had spent 40 minutes on the phone trying to solve something that should have taken 5 minutes. I finally figure out that I would file a dispute for the charge so at that point they will block the merchant.

As Ava Park said "A Queen usually does not go to war, but when she goes to war, winning is the only option." I was professional, I explained my situation, and in return I felt I did not accomplish anything so now I am disputing the charge because I will make sure this company will not take any more money from me. I could rest. I could let go. I could give up. That's not who I am. When something is wrong, we have to stand up and fight for what we believe and make sure we don't let it pass by. It could be an account for $14.99 or something bigger, what matters is the attitude and the will to stand for ourselves and make sure we set clear boundaries.

Many blessings )0(

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

About Legendary Women and Vision

It's not every day that we get the opportunity to meet somebody who can change our lives, somebody who with one word can bring harmony into a chaotic world, somebody who we can admire and become fond of. Last weekend, I had the opportunity to participate in the "Queen of Your Realm" Convocation with Rev. Ava Park. Ava is one of the most amazing women I've met in my life. Her energy, her charisma, her power are beyond any words I could use to describe her. You have to experience Ava to see what I am talking about. A Priestess, a Goddess Woman, a Queen, a vessel for transformation for this world that is in so much need for change. Ava Park is the presiding Priestess and founder of the Temple of Orange County - As she talked and described her teachings, I couldn't help but feel that every word of her work resonated with me on a deeper level. She was describing the qualities I aspired to have, the leader I want to become. Her Queen Teachings are some of the most amazing teachings I've ever experienced as a woman and I highly recommend to participate in her workshops. Ava is also writing a book that will be published next year and I am definitely waiting for that book to be out.

During the workshop, she described the Queen as the one who holds the vision, the one who has the plan. The woman that sees the bigger picture and makes her decisions based on what is best for all involved, not just a few, but all. She also talked about the Queen being at the center and not at the top and I definitely liked this much better than the normal King mentality of being on the top and directing everyone but when we are at the center, we can see everything and feel everything so we can decide what is best.

As she talked about vision, I couldn't help but think that in the past few months I've been lost, I have lost my purpose, my vision, my fire. As I said before, I think I got lost in the woods of my own confusion and shadow self. My Shadow Maiden and Shadow Mother have come strong and played their parts showing how I can derailed fast if I don't keep my focus, if I don't stick to the plan and make sure that I manifest the world I really want to manifest and not the one that just comes because I live without intention or purpose. Intention is very important and also a clarity about where we are going and what we want to accomplish. This world is just a reflection of our dreams, if we put energy and passion in creating our dream, we will live in the world that we desire. If instead, we let things happen to us, get sucked into victimization, feeling hopeless, helpless, and lose faith in ourselves, then the world be nothing but a mere shadow.

Do you know where you are going? Do you know what your vision is? What would you like to have accomplished in 5 years, 10 years, your life? Do you want to live a legendary life knowing that you lived your purpose and you manifested your dreams creating a better world for the future generations? It is time for each of us to care of our realms, it is time to become the Queen and make sure that we are planning and visioning so our realms are what we want them to be and not what others just desire. You have the power to create, you can manifest your dreams. Start today!

Blessings )0(

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Steve Jobs - 1955-2011

Last year, my best friend sent me a link to the one speech I think it is one of the best speeches I've ever heard. Below is the link:

This was the first time I was introduced to Steve Jobs. If you know me, you know I live in my own private bubble and I am not very connected to the outside world since my inner world has plenty to keep me entertained. Like a Harry Potter book would say, I don't participate much in the muggle world. But this speech has the strength to burst my bubble and catch my attention. Each word Steve said resonated with me greatly and let me see him for who he was. A pioneer, a square peg into a round hole, different, unique, a person who was not afraid to follow his heart and live with passion.

On October 5, my best friend texted me telling me "Steve Jobs is dead." A sadness took over since this person was only 56 and he was gone. He had lived with passion. He had changed the world. He had left his imprint and legacy on this Earth. Can we say the same? If we were to die today, would the world remember us or would the world forget? That day, I decided to watch the Stanford Commencement Ceremony again. As I watched, I wrote down the words and phrases that really resonated with me at that time.

"Connecting the dots - Trust that all will work out. You can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect the dots looking backwards so you have to trust that the dots somehow will connect in the future. You have to trust in something, your gut, your destiny... because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path and that would make all the difference."

How many times have you been in a situation when you wonder why I am living this? What's the lesson? Why life punishes me? Why does everything have to go wrong? Those are the moments you need to trust that the dots will connect and in the future, you will look back and smile because you wouldn't be the person you would be at that time if you hadn't gone through that experience.

"Sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick, don't lose faith"

How many times have you wanted to give up but kept going? Thought everything was lost but inside yourself, you had faith that the lesson was there for a reason.

"If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am going to do now?"

Do you live with passion? Do you wake up in the morning and know that you will doing what your heart wants and not what your mind wants. Are you following your mission in life or just the vision somebody had for you? Today, we had an earthquake in the Bay Area, nothing mayor, but it brought back human mortality and how we are all going to die one day. Once again, the question would be if I died today, would people remember me? Would I have fulfilled the purpose I had for my life? Would I have lived my life as the unique being I am bringing my gifts and skills to help the world become a better place?

"Your time is limited, don't waste it living somebody else's life."

"Stay hungry. Stay Foolish."

Steve Jobs was a man who changed the world. Will you do the same?

Blessings )0(

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Turtle

I usually give my father a talisman before he leaves so it can protect him during the year and keep us connected. Ever since I started talking about the Goddess, ritual and magic, he has expressed interest in learning more. He created an altar in his house for Kuan Yin, he lights candles, he burns incense, he follows the moon calendar and he loves talismans.

This year, I decided to give him a crystal turtle that I had on my altar for sometime. This turtle symbolized steadiness, strength, perseverance and patience. Little did I know that slowness was part of the deal for this particular turtle. In five years my dad has been coming to visit, we never experienced delays in flights or any issues at the airport. This year was the exception that confirmed the rule.

It all started when we arrived in San Francisco International Airport and the line seemed to not move. My dad was getting anxious, everyone before him seemed to have some sort of issue and he felt stressed out but like everything in life, there is harmony. The lady that checked him in offered me a pass to go through security and be able to take him to the gate so we got to spend a wonderful hour inside the airport shopping, having coffee and enjoying each other's company for the last few minutes we would spend together till next year.

As soon as I got home, I found out my dad's trip from Miami to Montevideo was cancelled. I looked online and saw all planes to Buenos Aires were cancelled. I looked at the newspaper from Argentina and it said there was a volcanic cloud covering Buenos Aires and all flights were cancelled. I started stressing out because now my father would be stranded in the Miami airport for a day or who knows how long. Luckily, he called me that night and told me he was in a hotel and he was going to go to Dallas the following day and fly to Buenos Aires. Before hanging up, he said "this is the Turtle trip, slowly but surely."

The following day, I monitor his flights using the internet. Miami to Dallas was a breeze but when he got to Dallas, the plane started getting delayed. From leaving at 7:30, it changed to 8:30; 9:30; 10:30; until they said it was going to leave at 7 am next day. Now I was wondering if he had gone to Dallas after all and I had no communication.

Today, I spent all day stressed out wondering if he would be on his way back home or stranded in another airport. I started worrying something may have happened to him and all my demons came to life. Luckily, I called him at the time I thought he would be home if he had been on that airplane and he picked up. Once I heard his voice, everything became good again and I could breath and smile. He was home. He was safe.

He told me the stories about how the turtle had symbolized his trip since it took him over two days to get home when it usually takes only a day. Slowly but surely he made his way back home. He made friends. He talked about solidarity and how people come together when things don't go the way they planned. He gave me hope that human beings can still show care for one another and be ready to give a hand to those in need. He told me how it was an adventure but taught him he could survive anywhere. He washed his clothes by hand and dried them with the hair dryer since his bad was on its way to Montevideo. Overall, his adventure show me that we need to have faith, we need to believe that we have others watching over us, our little angels, our protectors, those spirits that will look after us when we face challenges and that when we are in need, we need to be like the turtle, slow but steady, strong and persevere because in the end, the lesson is for us to learn and we always get help.

Blessings )0(

Friday, October 14, 2011

Experiences at the Oasis

As I sit down to write about my experiences at the Oasis, I can't help but run short of words. It seems the words that would describe such an amazing event as Convocation don't exist in English or Spanish. Yes! Me, the lady of words, is out of words. Isn't that insane?

Intensity is one word that can define my experience; out of this world another. The day started as I got ready to leave my house. I started packing all my belongings, my robes, my cord, my rattle, my diary, everything that I need for an event like that while I was watching Lady Olivia's DVD - Priestess of Isis. I wanted to get my mind out of the mundane and into the magical realm. On my way to the Temple, my dad and I experiences some serious traffic and what usually took us one hour and a half took almost two hours and a half. In my mind, I kept thinking that we will arrive at the right time and maybe this delay was just meant to be.

As we arrived in the Temple, we could see lots of cars. How exciting to see the event growing so much!!!! We checked in and walk around. Last year, during convocation, I was looking for a Sekhmet necklace. As a Sekhmet Priestess I was called to have a piece of jewelry dedicated to her. Little did I know that as I walked back to my room, I would run across a Priestess whose work is to create Goddess Rosaries and there it was! A beautiful Sekhmet Rosary!!!! You guessed it, I got the Rosary since it was meant to be mine.

That night, during dinner, Lady Loreon invited me to have dinner at Lady Olivia's table since I was not able to stay for the full event and I was leaving the next day. The dinner was amazing. Lady Olivia's vibrant energy filled me with joy since it's incredible to spend time with an elder and I consider myself very fortunate.

Convocation this year was dedicated to the frog Goddess Heqet. Le'ema's performance was amazing and she captured the energy of Heqet beautifully. The performance started with some crystal bowls and as the sound increased in the Temple Theater we all felt we raised our vibrations to the next level. Then Lady Olivia guide us in a journey to the cleansing waters and helped us release the old to make space for the new. The night ended with presentations and stories of Heqet.

As I said in the past, Isis is the lady of Synchronicity. The next morning, I woke up and went to have breakfast with Lady Olivia, Linda Iles, Le'ema Graham, Francesca Gentile, DeTraci Regula and some other Priests and Priestesses from the Fellowship of Isis. The fire was burning, the coffee was great, but the conversations were amazing. Many times, Goddess brings to our lives the experiences and people we need around to grow and evolve. This breakfast time granted me the honor to bond with Francesca and find a Goddess Sister. As we talked, we found out that our lives were more connected than we thought and I invited her to my consecration later that day.

Linda Iles class about Hieroglyphic Writing was amazing and I am still chewing on what she talked about. Her scholar presentation was out of this world and filled with knowledge in every level. I am so grateful to call her my mentor and teacher. After the class, we headed to the Isis Chapel for my consecration as ArchDruidess but before that, we stopped for tea. While having tea, we meditated on how the Goddess has touched our lives. Lady Olivia guided us in a journey and when the time was right, we moved to the Chapel to start the ceremony.

The ceremony was beautiful and filled with power. Sometimes simpicity is much more powerful than sophisticated steps. As Lady Olivia placed the Sekhmet Rosary on me, she told me to think of each bead in that rosary as a person I have touched with my work and how all of them would support me in my Priestess work. She told me not to get stuck in the literal meaning of words but to feel them from the heart. Lady Olivia's vision of the Goddess Dana as a blond hair woman in the woods reminded me of my first vision of myself when I became a witch. I would see myself as a witch dancing around the fire in the middle of the woods with white robes and long blonde hair (since my hair is naturally blonde). Maybe, that vision was just the beginning of this journey, and now I had found my way back home. The ceremony ended with Lady Olivia telling me something like "Now you are an ArchDruidess, you know what to do, don't let anybody tell you how to do things, just find your own way to do it." It was a very powerful statement for me since at times we may look for approval or try to see if others will tell us how to do things but in that we give our power away.

Priestesses come in many forms and shapes. Convocation is one place where I can see all of us coming together, each with our gifts and skills, and each bringing the Goddess back to life in our own ways. I feel so blessed to have been part of such an amazing event and a life changing journey. I look forward to the future and what Goddess has in store for me.

Many blessings )0(

Monday, October 3, 2011

Eat, Pray, and Love

There are some movies that touch our hearts more than others, "Eat, Pray, Love" was one of those for me. Although I read the book a few years ago, watching the movie reminded me of how many good lessons that book/movie has. Sometimes we get to a crossroad in our lives when we see the paths ahead but we are not sure which one to take because fear is there... fear of change. I like when the protagonist is in bed with her husband and he says "I don't want to go to Aruba" and she responds "I don't want to be married anymore". This woman's journey of leaving a relationship that was not fulfilling and having the courage to go around the world trying to find happiness is a big lesson because it takes courage to push the boundaries and fears and risk everything just to find yourself. When I moved to the USA, I had to leave everything behind - family, friends, job security, my own apartment, everything. I could only bring two bags with my belongings and the rest stayed behind. I know that taught me how to detach from material things and the fact that everything is temporary and we are in constant state of changing, evolving, growing, moving. Nothing remains the same unless it is dead. Most of the people fear change because they don't know what to expect, they don't know if the future is better than the present and they may sacrifice their happiness for fear of change. Another phrase that really called me was when her boyfriend told her it was better to be unhappy and together than be sad and separated. How many times do we stay in situations where we know we are unhappy but for fear we just remain the same? Life is too short to waste it in situations or relationships that don't work or make us happy. I know at times I like things to remain the same, I like routine as any Virgo, but I also know that change and chaos bring the seed of transformation and if we don't transform we stagnate and die so I welcome change, I welcome transformation, and like the phoenix I have risen many times from my own ashes.

"Il bel far niente" is a phrase that really resonated with me from this movie. This phrase means "Do Nothing" and in the movie, they talk about how American people are always doing something, if it is not reading, writing, watching TV, busy, busy, busy and they do not master the art of "Do Nothing" or "Il bel far niente". I can definitely identify myself with that although I am not American but I have led a life of doing instead of being for a long time and just now I am beginning to understand that it is not what I do but who I am that defines me. With this concept in mind, during the movie, the protagonist was asked to choose a word that defines her, not a word that defines what she does but who she is and I believe I was blessed with having a word that defines me as my maiden name Amor (Love). I think love is who I am. I can also use "Will" or "Strength". Many times, it is hard to find a way to define ourselves by who we are instead of what we do. If you ask somebody who they are they will say I am a teacher, I am a wife, I am a .... the list can go on, but these words define roles in life and not the essence. If you had to choose a word, what would that word be?

We, women, are usually concerned about physical appearance... we do not want to look fat so we usually diet a lot to make sure we don't put on weight. While the protagonist was in Italy, she went to a pizza place with a friend and her friend did not want to eat so the protagonist looked at her and she said "have you ever been naked with a man who got up and left because he did not like what he saw? I bet you not, he was happy to have a naked woman with him." This phrase was amazing because I think we are our worst enemies when it comes to appearance. We feel horrible when we are actually beautiful, we are Goddesses and we hold the Goddess within. It is within our power to choose to feel beautiful, to accept ourselves as we are and let go of being skinny or not eating and sacrificing ourselves for beauty. I don't say don't eat healthy, but I do say don't torture yourself feeling that you will look horrible if you eat a pastry. You will be beautiful because it is the beauty within that reflects in the outside and as we grow older, it is that beauty that shines and not the physical one.

The last thing that really resonated with me was when the protagonist was in Bali and she told the old medicine man that she broke her relationship with her new boyfriend because she had finally found balance in her life and this relationship was threatening her balance. The old man looked at her and said "sometimes being out of balance brings balance to your life" and this really resonated with me since many times we try to keep things like they are... balance and harmony... without noticing that chaos may bring balance in the end. Sometimes you need to break it to build it again. Destruction creates space for new creations, and new creations bring opportunities to grow and evolve.

Blessings )0(

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Memories Remain

Titles disappear, relationships break down, people die, but memories remain. It is how we choose our experiences and learn from them that makes a difference. Money can not buy you experiences as it can not buy love. You can have the best job in the world and one day it may be gone but if you have learned from it, if you gain experience then not everything is lost.

Yesterday, I took my dad to a magical place. It was like we stepped into wonderland and spend a day there. We went to some wineries, had lunch in the Culinary Institute of America and then visit Castello di Amorosa where we walked around, visit the dungeons and had a lot of fun. It was amazing to see his smile and know that he was having a great time. He even said that the memories he now had were priceless and that he will savor them when he is back in Buenos Aires. You can imagine that meant a lot to me since memories remain forever and he is the only family I have since I have no brothers or sisters and my mom passed away four years ago.

Having those experiences with him made me realize how important is to treasure the present moment and choose our activities carefully since in the end, all that remains are the memories of those special moments we have spent with loved ones, or traveling, or growing, or evolving. Those memories stay with us forever and nobody, and when I say nobody I mean nobody, can take them away from us.

There are times in life when we start living like zombies or robots. We go to work, we come back, we eat, watch TV, go to bed, wake up and start the routine all over again. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing to feed the spirit. Those are the times that the body starts getting resented and starts showing signs that things are out of harmony. My wake up call was last week when I ended up in the doctor's office because I was coughing really badly after getting a cold two weeks ago. The verdict was a serious case of asthma. I haven't had serious asthma since I move to this country over 9 years ago and I usually associate asthma with stress and not being able to breath like there is no air, too much pressure that does not allow me to breath. During my last asthma attack, I was dealing with the US embassy and trying to get to my newly husband since we got married and were separated at the time due to redtape. This time, stress comes from a different source - an unhappy job, a lack of direction, a lack of purpose, and a feeling like life is just passing me by and I am giving away my power. These are not good places to be and it is time to take action. It is time to wake up and stop living in zombie land and start living in action land. Like the Sagittarius symbol, it is time to set the target and throw the arrow so when I look back in time, and my memories are the only thing I have left, I have memories I can be happy about.

Blessings )0(

Saturday, September 24, 2011

When reality matches what's inside...

Last Thursday, I had to go pick up my dad to the airport. I hadn't been in SFO since last year and little did I know, I was up for a surprise. As I was getting to the airport, I took the wrong turn and got off one exit before I was supposed to. As I was turning around and looking at the clock, I noticed I only had a few minutes to park the car and find the gate. I got to the parking lot and started going around to find a place to park, I went around a few times and I could not find the American Airlines name on any of the column and most of the place was full so I decided to park where I used to park in the past. Nobody would think that everything has changed since the last time!!! When I got to the terminals, everything was new. I could not find American Airlines. I started walking fast concerned that my dad would be worried that nothing looked the same. I run for almost 20 minutes until I found the gate. I was so stressed out. I never felt that lost before and I could feel my anxiety level raising as I feared I would not find my way. I got to the gate 1 minute before my dad got out. Thank Goddess!! While we were walking to take the air train, my dad kept saying how everything looked different and how he was concerned we would not find each other. As I got on the train, I realized I was on the wrong line so we got off and took the other one. We got off the train on the wrong terminal so we had to get back on again. By then we have been going around in circles for almost one hour. It seemed like I could not find my way, I was lost and filled with anxiety. Now it was not only me lost, but my dad was following. I found the car after all and we started our way home but by then, I was exhausted after running around and feeling completely lost. I started wondering why it felt like Mercury was retrograde when it was not. Why I felt so hopeless and lost. Is that how I am feeling now? There are times when I feel lost and I am not sure where I am going. In the past, I was always convinced that I wanted to be a career woman but now that I look at my career, I realize that I don't feel I am a career woman and I am not a mother so the question becomes who I am and where I am going.

Three weeks ago, I saw a praying mantis for the first time in my life. I was swimming in the pool and this insect was swimming towards me. It looked scary and ugly. A week later, I saw another one while doing a BBQ with some friend. Last but not least, I was walking one evening and one flew by me. After seeing this insect three times in a period or three weeks. I realized that there was some kind of meaning to this event since I've never seen the insect before. When I started reading about this insect and it's symbolism, I found the following:


The mantis never makes a move unless she is 100% positive it is the right thing for her to do. This is a message to us to contemplate and be sure our minds and souls all agree together about the choices we are making in our lives.


When I read these phrases, I couldn't help but think how busy I have kept myself lately and how it may be time to find my stillness and balance. I need to sit in the silence, avoid the busyness, and try to calm down so I can see things clearly so I don't get lost.

When I read about being 100% positive that a decision is right before moving, I thought about how at times we may get paralized because we think we may make a mistake and we don't act. Sometimes, we have to jump. Sometimes, we have to take a risk. It is good to evaluate a decision but in the end, sometimes we may just go round and round and get lost in the middle. Have you ever taken too long to decide and then the thing you wanted was gone? Was it worth to wait and think and evaluate to lose everything in the end? It is up to us to find our stillness and make sure we evaluate our options, but in the end, sometimes we just need to take a risk and jump.

Lately, I feel reality matches what's inside....

Blessings )0(

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Labels and Words

The more I study languages, the more I realize the power of words and how we may interpret words differently and assign different meanings. Language is arbitrary. I was reading the book Language and Symbolic Systems by Yuen Ren Chao and he introduced this concept in his book. He said "Language is a form of communication (in the widest sense) is entirely arbitrary in its relation to what is communicated. Before the establishment of a convention, any word could mean anything." This phrase really resonated with me since I started wondering why some words may have a negative connotation while others would have a positive one. For example, if I say "she is different" some people may understand that as rude while other people may think that I am meaning she does not conform with the norm. The same happens when somebody says "she is beautiful" and to some people standards a person may be pretty while for others she may be ugly. Like one of my English teachers used to say "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." We can apply this concept to words and say that "the meaning of words is in the intention of the communicator." The communicator may intend the message to be different from the message understood by the listener so it is important to make sure when we listen, we listen with empathy and try to understand what the speaker is trying to say with the meaning he or she is trying to convey. That's why reflective listening is so important. Even though it may seem we are repeating what the other person says, we should make sure we understood the message the way it was intended.

Words have power. They can create or they can destroy. Words spoken at the wrong time can bring war as well as words spoken at the right time can bring peace. Friendships can be made or break by the use of words. People can thrive or fail by using words. We use words in so many ways that we lose our awareness of the power words have and how we use them for our gain or loss.

When I think of words, I think of the words that have gained a negative meaning with time and how we can revert it. I think about the word witch and how it has become a negative label when once it used to mean "wise one." I think of the word magic and I see that now it has a meaning of something that is not real when it used to be connected with the power of intent. How many words have lost their original meaning since people feared their power? How many words we have added a negative meaning to deny reality? How many words have become numb because we used them so much and have lost the original power? How many words have their power diluted?

When I think of words, I think of labels as well. Labels are words that define us but in a sense, do they really define us? Do we want to be trapped by their meaning? When I think of labels, I think of what Johnny Deep said "They stick you with those names, those labels-”rebel” or whatever; whatever they like to use. Because they need a label they need a name. They need something to put the price tag on the back of.” Do we really need to structure ourselves with labels? Do we need to say we are this or that? Our labels are usually related to our roles but they don't define who we are. When somebody asks us who we are, we usually define ourselves as a role such as teacher, mother, sister, etc. There are so many roles. We hardly ever describe who we are, we describe what we do, what our actions are. When I describe myself I usually say I am a powerful, beautiful, intelligent, healthy and strong woman. I may change some of the adjectives but I usually don't describe myself as a Compliance Specialist or a wife. Words have power and labels have structure. Don't let the words and labels of the world define who you are, just write your own story, create your own words, make your own labels and don't let other decide for you.

Blessings )0(

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Lost and Found

Every year, as my birthday gets closer, I start thinking about all the things that have taken place during the past year and take inventory of what I've done and what I would like to accomplish in the next year. This process helps me see whether there are patterns in my life I need to change, patterns I need to incorporate, and things I need to let go of because they no longer serve me.

While taking inventory, this year I realized that I got lost in the woods for a while. It feels like some areas of my life have become dormant or were put on the back burner while I was coping with some situations that took precedence. Looking back, I can see my spiritual path was put on stand by while my Chinese journey took off. Somehow, a part of me feels that when I commit to something, I have to give that thing 101% and everything else needs to drop off because I have to devote my full attention to that thing that has become the focus of interest. Being aware of that, I know I can get consumed by an idea, a relationship, or a thing and lose sight of the big picture. Since the last New Moon in Virgo, I started realizing that I needed to bring more balance in my life. That even though I love Chinese, I need to bring my spirituality back into my life and find a way to live a more harmonious life instead of all my energies being tied into one thing. It was as if the Goddess have come back into my life and said "Daughter, I have let you wander in the woods, get lost in the mists for a while, but it is time to come back now, it's time to wake up and get back on the path - you can't be lost forever, you have to find your way back."

In the book Tao of Womanhood, Diane Dreher says "The wisdom of Ecclesiastes tells us that there is, "a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away." I know the time has come for me to find balance. I think the scarcity mentality has led me to believe I don't have enough time to study Chinese, be a Priestess, and have a fulfilled life. Now it is time for me to realize that I can find a way to do the things I love and lead a whole and healthy life.

In her book, Diane Dreher also talks about the honorable closure and says "We don't want to be quitters, so we stay involved with unwanted commitments, dead-end jobs, or unhealthy relationships instead of moving on." Knowing when to let go and move on is a skill not many of us have developed. Many times we stick with things just because we are unable to accept the time has come to move on, that what it was great yesterday, it may not be as good today. What was perfect ten years ago may have become obsolete now. It's up to us to be able to determine where our energies are tied and whether we need to say goodbye to a person, change jobs or change a behavior because the old is not fulfilling anymore.

I think I've been lost for a while but now it's time to come back to life and back to my journey. I do feel as if I am "lost and found."

Blessings )0(

Monday, August 29, 2011

It's a work out!

Sometimes I meditate on different words that come up during the day or that appear in my life several times in a short period of time. Today, my word is work out. Yes - work out! I was practicing Chinese and the lady in the program said "now, it's time to do the work outs" and I couldn't help but think, how appropriate to call Chinese exercise work outs since sometimes it feels as complex and demanding as running a marathon. You have to pace yourself and practice every day, train and train, so you are able to say a few words or recognize a few characters. Once I finished studying, I went to the gym for my physical work out and I kept thinking - what is harder... running or studying Chinese? LOL, you may think I am crazy but for somebody like me who is usually filled with intellectual activities, working out is getting me out of my comfort zone. Yes! You guessed it!! If you see me at the gym, I am one of those that is running on the treadmill with a book open.

As I kept meditating about this word, I thought about the instances when we use this word to signify resolve. When we have a problem, we can work it out. When relationships are struggling, people need to work out their issues. How appropriate since solving issues takes energy, time, thought, and patience so the word is perfect.

It is said that it takes 21 days to change a habit or create a new habit. When I think about the word work out, I do think about habits and how we can create them or change them. Habits are little rituals we do everyday or regularly. If you want to change a habit, you just have to decide to change and create a new habit, then stick with it for a while until it becomes the new habit. Some habits take more than others but in the end, it only takes decision, focus and perseverance to change your life for the better and manifest what you want. Yes, it may feel like a work out, but in the end, you are the master or mistress of your own life. You can make your own destiny.

Blessings )0(

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Trust your Inner Nature

There are times when life keeps reflecting to us the same lesson and it is up to us to be able to see the lesson and try to learn it so we don't have to repeat it in the future because as I have said before, if we don't learn a lesson, it will repeat in different situations, different people, different places, but still the same lesson.

During the past few weeks, I've been reflecting on how many times I've done things because others expected me to do them but not because I really felt like doing them. How many times I said yes to things when I meant no. How many times I just put other people first instead of myself and in that just sacrificed my happiness and my spirit. A few months ago, my Chinese doctor told me that my spirit was not at peace, that I needed to let go of worry and try to relax. When he told me that, my first reaction was like... really? Then I started meditating on how my spirit was fighting different situations in my life that are bringing me stress, anxiety and sorrow. How my inner nature is fighting telling me to follow my heart while my mind and my inner critic say something different. During this month, I had several instances when I felt I should do something and I did not do it because my head intellectualized it and ended up feeling like "I should have gone with my gut feeling" type of thought. Why don't we trust our inner voice? It is easier to think our way out of things instead of focusing on our belly and seeing if it "feels right" instead of thinking it is right. Our Inner Nature knows what we are supposed to do and who we are supposed to be. It is our mind that is contaminated with society's rules, with what media says is good, successful, popular, etc. Wouldn't we be happier if we did not have the pollutions of society and structure? If we were free to be who we are supposed to be without having to comply with what our parents want, our family needs, our friends desire, just listening to our heart and follow our passion.

As I was reading The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff, I came across these phrases that really resonated with me when it comes to Inner Nature:

"How can you get very far,
If you don't know Who You Are?
How can you do what you ought,
If you don't know What You've Got?
And if you don't know Which to Do
Of all the things in front of you,
Then what you'll have when you are through
Is just a mess without a clue
Of all the best that can come true
If you know What and Which and Who."

If we just quiet our minds and listen to our Inner Nature, we can hear our inner guide telling us the what, the which and the who. Sometimes it is hard to hear it, sometimes it is painful, but in the end, it is up to us to eliminate those things that don't serve us anymore to be able to become our real us and not just the mask we wear to comply with the world.

Today is the New Moon in Virgo and the message of this moon is also connected to listening to our Inner nature. Stephanie Austin wrote "Use the dynamic energy of this New Moon to simplify your life and get back to the basics. Are you living your life in accordance with your core values? Are you in service or servitude? Your time, your energy, and talents make a difference and are needed at this point in history. Each one of us is here for a divine purpose." Do you have what you really want? Do you want what you have? Your Inner Nature knows. Just take some time, quiet the mind and listen to your heart. You'll see the answers are right there.

Blessings )0(

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Overflowing with Emotion

On Tuesday morning, I woke up and went to the bathroom as I usually do. When I pushed the button to flash the toilet, I could see the water raising. I was half asleep and half awake but it seemed that the water was not stopping. As the toilet started overflowing, I moved the flowers I have on top and try to stop the flow. When it did not stop, I decided to close the faucet that connects with the toilet so the water would not continue to flow. As I run up the stairs to get towels to stop the water that was about to reach the kitchen I told my husband in a very hysterical voice... "the toilet is overflowing!!!" I cleaned everything and put the towels in the washing machine to wash them. I got down, made some coffee and started to relax. As I drink a few sips I started hearing the pipes going... it did sound like the washing machine but closer, much closer. I looked up and I see the kitchen sink overflowing with foam... yep the washing machine was draining in the kitchen sink... If you know my house, the washing machine is in the top floor. Once again, running up the stairs and turning off the washing machine... screaming to my husband who was on vacation and still sleeping "honey, the kitchen is overflowing!!!" I got to work super stressed out and I definitely did not need caffeine after the adrenaline pump from having a toilet overflowing when I was half asleep.

By mid-morning, my husband called me to let me know that the problem was not isolated to our apartment only but the whole building had no water and that the roots of the trees were clogging the pipes so the water was overflowing and they had to cut it. When I heard this explanation, the light bulb went on and I thought... yes, this is it. When we let emotions build up and grow within, there will be a time when something triggers the flow and then we are not able to stop it. The roots grow too big, too deep and then the only way to release is to just overflow. Have you ever got to the point when you say this is enough?

My emotions have been very volatile lately and a character that I have come to call the psycho bitch usually comes out. She is angry, she gets upset quickly, she goes from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. She is the one that has 0 patience and really gets irritated with small things and big things and even medium things. When I saw the toilet and sink overflowing, I couldn't help but feel identified with the situation since at times I feel I've been dormant for a while and now all those emotions that were below the surface are coming up and playing havoc with me. When we overflow with emotion, it is time to look within, find those roots and clean them up so the flow can be restored and no more crap comes up. Sometimes the physical is just a manifestation of what's brewing within. The hermetic axiom says "as above so below, as within so without." It's up to us to discover the lessons that are taking place outside but they are just a mirror of what is going on inside.

Blessings )0(

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Time to start again...

When everything collapses and is lost, there is nothing else to do but to turn the page and start again. We could dwell on it, we could feel like we are the victims of some kind of conspiracy, blame others for what's happening, or we could take ownership on what we've done in the past, evaluate and set a new course. Last week, as I was looking for some materials I translated last year, I noticed that Facebook deleted all my postings when they updated my group so most of the material was lost. I was very upset at that time but I remember I had a forum that I had opened as a back up so I tried to get into this forum and as I clicked on the page to access it, I got this message "This Forum is no longer available due to inactivity." At that point, I was very frustrated because my back up had fallen apart because I had not paid attention to it. My first reaction was to be mad because nobody told me that they were going to delete the work I have done and spent hours doing. I wanted to scream at somebody and let that frustration go somewhere but then I realized reality - I had not been present in my group or Forum and maybe this was an opportunity to start again. Like a plant that dies if it is not watered or a relationship that ends when it is not tendered, my work had disappeared giving me an opportunity to re-evaluate and think whether I wanted to continue with this work or not. Goddess sometimes puts some tests in our way to see how committed we are to what we promised, to see if we are for real, to see if our word is worth something. I felt this was one of my tests since I felt that I put on a lot of hours of work and now everything was lost - I even had a back up plan and that didn't work; but I know like the Tower in the Tarot Cards, when lightning strikes, we just have to take it, destroy and create space for the new. I had not paid attention to my group, I did not check the Forum for months so it was only fair for it to disappear.

The same happens with relationships. Sometimes we take things for granted and forget that relationships take work, that nothing is there forever if we don't tender it, if we don't dedicate time, if we don't pay attention, the same thing that happened to my Forum can take place, you wake up one day and the person is gone.

Everything in life takes dedication, time and caring. I have learned my lesson. I was asleep and now I have woken up. It is time to start again...

Blessings )0(

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Better laugh than cry....

Some people say when it rains, it pours and I can agree with that at times. Last week was one of those weeks when everything was going the wrong direction and I felt myself sinking as the week went by. We could say the final eclipse that took place on July 1st really brought me down. As I fell with a 100 fever and a horrible cold, I couldn't help but feel miserable. Being sick is horrible, but being sick during the summer is even worse! But the story does not end up there, being sick in the summer with a pregnant boss is off the charts. As I felt better on Wednesday, I decided to go back to work because I couldn't afford spending my days off sick but as soon as I got there I was asked "did you go to the doctor?" and my answer was ... no. This response was followed by the question "are you contagious?" again, the answer was "I don't know." As I became a high risk and felt like I needed to be quarantine, I left work and came to work from home. Now I had to go see a doctor to certify I was not contagious so I could go back to the office.

I was already down after feeling I was sick and a liability when I got to the doctor's office. As I got there, the routine is always the same - temperature, blood pressure and weight. I looked around for the scale as the nurse guided me when I get to a wall that has a huge metal platform parallel to the wall. As she lowered the platform, I realized this was like a biggest loser scale for people who weight 500 pounds. As I stepped on the scale, I could hear the bip, bip, bip in my head and the voice saying "Carolina your new weight is.... you have put on 12 pounds since your last weight in."

My self-esteem was taking a hit and that was not the end of it. As the week continued, my boss told me that she was sending me to the New Employee On-boarding class (NEO for short). You may be thinking that is a great opportunity to further education and receive more training but having a New Employee Training after working for a company for 6 years in two different departments sounded sort of crazy. Not to mention the amount of joking I received since many people know me and they were as amazed as I was that I was attending this training. My response ranged from they finally made it official... to I am not an illegal alien anymore!!

As my confidence was going in a downward spiral, reality hit me on the head and I wonder why I was letting outside situations or people to determine how I felt about myself. Why would I let others determine my own value? Can other people really know how much I am worth or is it up to me to decide? Can I feel enough on my own right and not look for validation in others? Validation is like a double edge sword because on one side it can boost our ego but on the other, we become dependent on it and forget that we don't need anybody to tell us how wonderful we are, how great of a work we do, or anything for that matter. We are valuable just for who we are - unique individuals that have something special to offer to this world, whatever that something is. Don't look for validation! Don't let outside situations make you feel bad! You are your own compass and your own judge, just live from the heart and love yourself as you want others to love you and everything will be fine.

Blessings )0(

Monday, June 20, 2011

You can not go back this time....

There are times in life when we are faced with situations that make us think further than what the situation is about. They take us to places where we can see the situation as a reflection of something else going on, some internal pattern that is reflected in the exterior. It's just a manifestation of our within. Yesterday was one of those days for me. I went swimming and in the swimming pool, there was a diving board. Years have passed since the last time I jumped from a diving board and even though the board looked as if it was not that tall, I am usually afraid of heights so the visual between the board and the deep pool make it a little scary for me to jump. As I waited for my turn to jump, I kept thinking that I could do it, that it was not that hard. I kept repeating "just jump" in my mind. When it was my turn, I walked to the end of the board and I could not do it, I could not jump. Fear paralyzed me and I had to walk back. The kids that were waiting for me to jump were sort of disappointed because the older lady did not jump when they were having so much fun. After a while, I decided to give it another try and this kid was behind me trying to motivate me. It was funny to hear him saying "if he can do it, you can do it for sure" while he was pointing at a 5 year old child. He kept saying that it is scary but once you jump is so much fun. As I walk on the board, he was holding to the sides of the end preventing me from going back and he kept saying "you can not go back this time, you can not go back this time." As I jumped, I could feel all my fears dissolving and I enjoyed the dive.

It's funny how many times in life we are so afraid of change that we don't jump. We may prefer to remain in a less than perfect situation just to not rattle the cage. Status quo is better than having to face our fears and change our lifestyles. I had this situation happen to me a few weeks ago when I decided to move apartments because I couldn't take the place I lived in anymore. At the beginning, it was paralyzing to have to find a new place, pack everything, unpack everything... just the thought would put fear in my head but now, I am so much happier. Like jumping from the diving board, once I took the first step, the fear dissolved and I could enjoy the ride. How many times have you wanted to change something in your life but not done so because you were afraid? How many times did you take one step to then go back and hide because fear was controlling you?

There are times in life when we get to a point when we can not go back and the question is ... are you ready to jump?

Blessings )0(

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Nature Talks

It seems like Nature has been trying to communicate with me for the past couple of weeks. Goddess has found a way to let me know that She is around and looking after me. In the past few weeks, I've been coming across several animals and every time I see one, I can't help but think about the meaning and what message they bring to me. So I get back home and look at my "Animal Speak by Ted Andrews" book and see what each animal means.

Three weeks ago, as I was walking in the park with my best friend, I saw a coyote. At first, I could not define what it was but as I came nearer, the coyote and I looked into each other's eyes and I felt a little fear mixed with thrilled of seeing such an interesting animal. Ted Andrews says that the coyote's energy is one of balancing wisdom and folly to make for a fulfilling life. Have I become too serious? Am I forgetting to have some fun in a life filled with to-do lists and many activities going on at the same time? Like with everything in life, balance is very important and we can not be on one side or the other of the spectrum, we need to find a middle way.

Last week, another interesting animal crossed my path. I was driving my car and all of the sudden, a pelican flew by. I was surprised to see such a big bird in an area that I've never seen pelicans before. Yes! You guessed it! I came back and look at my book again and found that pelicans message is one of overcoming difficulties. "The pelican teaches that no matter how difficult life becomes, no matter how much you plunge - you can pop to the surface. The pelican holds the knowledge of how to rise above life's trials."This message was so appropriate since at times I've been feeling as if everything goes wrong and I am on a spiral down but somehow I find a way to rise above the problems and find some light.

The last animal I have come across in the past few weeks not once but twice is the hawk. This animal is connected with strong energy and intensified life force. The message is one of caution since like the hawk who is able to tear off the heads of any snakes in its way, the person seeing this animal is able to destroy anyone seen as enemy with his comments or actions. Have I been too direct? Too aggressive in the way I communicate? Sometimes I can definitely target things with words and that's the reason why I choose them very carefully because I am aware of the power they have.

Combining all these symbols, I get the message that I should not take life so serious, I need to balance fun and wisdom as well as being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and be extremely careful with my communications because if I am not, somebody can get hurt. Sometimes we go through life asking for signs, asking for clues of what to do. If we just open our eyes, we can find clues all around. They are there waiting for us to see them, waiting for us to realize that we always have the answers at hand. Nature talks to us... the question is are we listening?

Blessings )0(

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Power of Three Eclipse Three...

There are times in life when we seem to take a wrong turn and then everything seems to go bad. We start feeling pushed, pulled, torn apart, and have no idea where to go next. It seems like all of the sudden the craziest things happened to us. Since January, I feel like I've been on a roller coaster with highs and lows and highs and lows again. No matter where I turned, something awkward seemed to happen. From a pregnant lady telling me I am upsetting her baby to an explosion outside my house that I am not sure what it was, ordering a prescription and having to pay extra to pick it up in the pharmacy because somehow it is more convenient for me to drive there, wait in line and get the prescription. Yes - if you wonder what I do for fun, I just go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription, it is as expensive as going to the movies but much more fun!! Sometimes I get this feeling that the world is just upside down, I get those moments when I wonder... Am I that crazy that this thing that seems normal to others is crazy to me? When I get told to breath in a cup of ice to keep cold while the AC does not work I can help but wonder... really? Is that it? Because I lived in a third world country and I never had to breath in a cup filled with ice when it is hot so why this is ok in this country. If people are so concerned with others' people safety why don't send them home, don't tell them to breathe in a cup filled with ice to feel better or take off their shoes.

During the past few weeks, it seems that there is tension in the air as if everyone is on edge and we are all about to blow up. We are faced with situations that take us to the limits or we are so loaded that one more thing just pushes us to the extreme. With three eclipses in one month, June 2011 has become the month of transformation, endings and new beginnings, creating that necessary space to manifest those things our heart wants. Eclipses are usually times when we can cut with the past, let go of what does not serve us anymore and move on. If we have been avoiding decisions or tough conversations, these planetary movements usually push us to have those difficult conversations and sometimes, it is the most stupid thing that triggers the event. During these times, we find ourselves with little patience and really coming from a very defensive position. The first eclipse took place on June 1, the next one takes place tomorrow and the last one will take place at the end of the month. With the power of three times three, it is time to look within and see what is not working and decide to make a change happen. Life is about making things happen, not waiting for things to happen. What areas in your life are not working today? Where are you feeling the pressure? What feels that need to be removed from your life so you can be happier or more balanced? There is no better time than now to make a change. Life is change and growth. If we don't, we stagnate and die. Take advantage of this time to look straight at the root of the problems and transform them. You can only go for so long denying a situation or looking the other way. The time is now.

Blessings )0(

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Initiation, Growth, Fruition, and Contemplation

Life is full of cycles - initiation, growth, fruition, and contemplation - or as I usually say life, death and rebirth. Every time we face the end of one cycle, we fear the new beginnings without realizing that without closing a door, another one can not open. We need to make space for the new and it is important to let go of those things that do not serve us anymore or we will feel stuck and live in stagnation.

During the past three weeks, I came to the realization that I needed to move to another place because the place where I live has turned into a danger zone. Not only we had an explosion outside that we could not figure out what it was but my husband's car got broken into and they stole a part. If I were in Argentina, the GPS would be marking the place where I live as a dangerous zone... "Beware! You are approaching a dangerous zone, enter at your own risk." The interesting part is that I lived in Argentina almost all my life where crime is really high but I never experienced the things I experienced here in the first world... mmmm. So having said that, the thought of moving really brought a lot of anxiety to my mind. I haven't moved in such a long time - yep, 6 years, and now I have to pack up and move to another place.

Luckily, as Mercury turned direct yesterday, I found a great place to live, in a better neighborhood and with all the things that I needed. This situation that seemed as a strike of good luck after experiencing bad luck or bad timing for the past few weeks felt great, but the little monkey mind inside me started thinking... Can I move and do my final for Mandarin at the same time? Can I pack up everything in three weeks and move? Can I... and the list can continue. A sudden rush of anxiety and adrenalin was pumping in my brain and I could only think of all the things that could go wrong instead of focusing on the good things that were happening, the opportunity to start again, to circulate the energies. Sometimes when the opportunity appears, you got to jump! If you wait or think twice, it may pass and you will be sitting with nothing in your hands. We can ask the universe to provide the best situation for us, but if we are not awake, if we don't see the signs, the things we asked for may go by and we may miss the train.

Fear of Change is normal and we all have experience it but it is about breaking that wall and moving forward that makes the difference in staying stagnant or changing, evolving and growing. Everything has a beginning and an end so we can start again. This is my time to start again and even though I am scared, I will still move forward and break that wall.

Blessings )0(

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Who are your friends?

There are times when I stop and I look around to see who my friends are. Are my friends those people who are usually selfish and are only concerned about themselves? Are my friends supportive and compassionate? Do they care about my well being or do they just pretend to be by my side but hurt me most of the time? While reading the book, Tao of Womanhood, I came across the Japanese concept of Misogi or the art of eliminating the non-essential. Non-essential applies to things, to habits, to people, to anything in life. Quantity sometimes does not mean quality and it is much better to spend some quality time with people than spend hours of mindless time that leads nowhere.

Yesterday, one of my best friends pointed out some things that I was aware of but I did not want to really see and I was grateful that she was open and honest with me. That allowed me to really sit and think about the things that have been going on in my life in the past nine months, how I've been spending my time, who has been by my side and who has just been lingering and needs to be simplified. It is hard to realize that maybe some relationships are not working and we can either change them, work at them, or just let go and move on. Do we want to work on the relationship? Do we feel that we always put 100% while the other person puts nothing or maybe it goes 80/20? A relationship can survive for a short while when one person is putting everything to make it work but it can not last forever and no matter how much that person works at, in the end, she or he will run out of energy and not be able to sustain a one side relationship. This week, we had a Full Moon in Libra and the message was "Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes." (Patricia Fry) so that phrase got me thinking about how many times I've been just half of myself in a relationship, maybe even a quarter and that relationships take two full people in order to work, not half, not a quarter but a full person committed to give and receive in the relationship.

It is a good time to re-think and re-evaluate where we are and set a course so we can move forward on Sunday when Mercury turns direct. Just take a minute and think who the people that are around you are, is the relationship making you happy or sad? Is the relationship fulfilling? Are you both putting 50/50? Do you need to make new agreements when it comes to the relationship? These are all questions that we need to ask ourselves and answer if we want to eliminate the non-essential so the essential can have space to be.

Just ask yourself... who are your friends? You have the answers, just look within.

Blessings )0(

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Art of Yohaku

Do you ever feel that you wake up in the morning, start running and not stop until you collapse in bed at the end of the day? Is there a constant feeling that you run from one thing to the next to the next without any breathing time? Why do we book double meetings and we tend to leave no space for ourselves? The Japanese word Yohaku means white space and it is the white space is left for people to enter. It is left deliberately with the intention to allow people to have a space to go within and reach the core. It does not mean spend time watching TV but it means find time to enjoy time with yourself and with the people you love. When I came across this concept, I couldn't help but think of all those times when I had push myself to the limit trying to do fifty million things at the same time and not leaving any breathing room for myself. How my relationships suffered because I was not present since I had no spare time for anybody or when I had a minute, I was too tired to be able to be present. Many times, we run and live our lives like it is a marathon without realizing that there are certain things nobody but ourselves can do for us. Working out, dedicating time to our spirituality and spending time with our love ones are three things that nobody but ourselves can do. As I have said many times in the past, our bodies are our temples and they carry us around so dedicating some time to exercise and eat well is essential if we are to live our lives in full. Sometimes, when we are on the run, we turn to fast food and we forget that this type of food is like putting cheap gasoline on a very expensive car, it will do the job but it will not be good in the long run. The question is why we always put other people or things first before us? Some people put their work first, some people put their children first, but we don't realize that putting other people first or things first will deplete us and make us empty for others.

In relationships, many times we take people for granted; we assume they will be there forever no matter how little time we dedicate to them or how little we spend together. It's like we believe we bought the lifetime guarantee that things will remain the same forever no matter how much people change. The Art of Yohaku is also about making that time to spend with our significant others and loved ones. Dedicate a full hour to walk in the park and chat, get to see what is going on in that person's life and release the need to be the center or to do other things while spending that time. That's why it is nice to take a walk in the park or go for a cup of coffee, leave your phone and laptop at home and just focus on each other. That time will provide you with what you need to help that relationship grow and become stronger and your soul will be filled since you spent time with the people you loved.

Having time between running errands or dedicating time to ourselves may feel weird in the beginning, but with time and practice, I can assure you it will become part of who you are and it will make you a more harmonious person. I remember many years ago when I started working for the company I work today, I would work 9 to 10 hours straight, no breaks. I would eat at my desk and never step away for a second until I started working with my counselor and she suggested I would take 15 minutes to begin with every day. Today, I am known as the employee who takes her hour lunch every day with no exception. My time is very important to me. It allows me to recover some energy, to break away from the stress, and to be more productive. This is just one example of how creating Yohaku in your life can help you simplify and be in harmony.

Nobody can live our lives for us, nobody can make the decisions for us. It is up to us to create Yohaku, it is up to us to set up boundaries so we are able to live a life in happiness and harmony. We don't have to run from one place to the other. Life is to be enjoyed. You have the power to decide and it is up to you whether you want to live your life running or take the time to know yourself and spend time with your loved ones. In the end of days, it is not the material things that remain but the memories of those special moments we enjoy in our lives.

Blessings )0(