Some people may say when I believe in something, I go 110% into it. Little did I know that when I attended the class "Queen of Your Realm" by Rev. Ava Park, I would be becoming a Queen myself. I think the Queen within me was screaming for me to let her out. I've been an overgiving mother for too long and now it is my time to receive so I don't burn out, so I bring harmony and balance to my life. It's great to give but if we only give, in the end, we will burn out, dry out, become angry, tired, irritable, cranky and a few other not very nice qualities one can have.
My Queen journey started by getting a crown ring that will act as a reminder of the qualities I want to incorporate in my life such as letting people help me, not playing superwoman, placing myself in the center so I can vision my realm and create it the way I like it, respectful of others and expecting respect from others among other queenly characteristics. Sometimes they say you have to fake it till you make it so since I took the class I've been calling myself Lady or Queen, and now my husband calls me Your Highness... LOL. I also got some Queen mugs that I have around the house and I even got my own crown. All these external symbols help my mind encourage the Queen that is already inside me to come out and be part of my life.
But like they say in witchcraft teachings, it is not about the tools that make the witch powerful but the witch herself that creates the powerful magick. Being the Queen is about our actions, it's about the way we portrait ourselves in public and in our realms, it's about reflecting what's inside in the outside and visioning our worlds. It's about teaching others the way we want them to treat us, setting healthy boundaries and making sure that we walk our talk. When I read this phrase from Ava, I couldn't help but take it as one of my mantras for life:
"The Queen does not react; She intends, She plans, She sets boundaries, then She acts." by Rev. Ava Park ~ Author, "Queen of Your Realm: The Queen Teachings for Women" and Presiding Priestess of The Goddess Temple of Orange County.
While reading this phrase, I couldn't help but think all the times that I had screamed my lungs out because I got exhausted and I wanted attention but all I got was deaf ears and bad faces. The things I said moved from one ear to the other and out without leaving any mark. My boundaries were not honored when I screamed.
If I didn't scream, I would be a passive aggressive playing victim and trying to make others feel bad because I was soooo tired, I did so much.... You know the story. Have you ever screamed and felt you were not even heard? Have you ever played victim because your boundaries were not honored?
Yesterday, I was taking care of one of my friends' kid and he was complaining that he wanted to play with my phone and I said no. He got very upset and had a tantrum fit. I did not say much. I just said "I will be downstairs, when you feel better, come down." I did not engage with the tantrum fit, I did not try to convince him to do something different. I just stated my boundaries, no emotions, just pure assertiveness. I went downstairs and less than five minutes later, he was downstairs all happy and loving again. The Queen did not react, just withdrew her attention to make sure that her boundary was honored and respected.
Being the Queen is hard work, it is a reprogramming of our actions and ways of thinking, but in the end, it is an archetype that is necessary for women to have so we can change the world. We will not change the world as Maidens. We will not change the world as Mothers. We will not change the world as Crones. We, women, will change the world as Queens.