Saturday, November 26, 2011

Being the Queen

Some people may say when I believe in something, I go 110% into it. Little did I know that when I attended the class "Queen of Your Realm" by Rev. Ava Park, I would be becoming a Queen myself. I think the Queen within me was screaming for me to let her out. I've been an overgiving mother for too long and now it is my time to receive so I don't burn out, so I bring harmony and balance to my life. It's great to give but if we only give, in the end, we will burn out, dry out, become angry, tired, irritable, cranky and a few other not very nice qualities one can have.

My Queen journey started by getting a crown ring that will act as a reminder of the qualities I want to incorporate in my life such as letting people help me, not playing superwoman, placing myself in the center so I can vision my realm and create it the way I like it, respectful of others and expecting respect from others among other queenly characteristics. Sometimes they say you have to fake it till you make it so since I took the class I've been calling myself Lady or Queen, and now my husband calls me Your Highness... LOL. I also got some Queen mugs that I have around the house and I even got my own crown. All these external symbols help my mind encourage the Queen that is already inside me to come out and be part of my life.

But like they say in witchcraft teachings, it is not about the tools that make the witch powerful but the witch herself that creates the powerful magick. Being the Queen is about our actions, it's about the way we portrait ourselves in public and in our realms, it's about reflecting what's inside in the outside and visioning our worlds. It's about teaching others the way we want them to treat us, setting healthy boundaries and making sure that we walk our talk. When I read this phrase from Ava, I couldn't help but take it as one of my mantras for life:

"The Queen does not react; She intends, She plans, She sets boundaries, then She acts." by Rev. Ava Park ~ Author, "Queen of Your Realm: The Queen Teachings for Women" and Presiding Priestess of The Goddess Temple of Orange County.

While reading this phrase, I couldn't help but think all the times that I had screamed my lungs out because I got exhausted and I wanted attention but all I got was deaf ears and bad faces. The things I said moved from one ear to the other and out without leaving any mark. My boundaries were not honored when I screamed.

If I didn't scream, I would be a passive aggressive playing victim and trying to make others feel bad because I was soooo tired, I did so much.... You know the story. Have you ever screamed and felt you were not even heard? Have you ever played victim because your boundaries were not honored?

Yesterday, I was taking care of one of my friends' kid and he was complaining that he wanted to play with my phone and I said no. He got very upset and had a tantrum fit. I did not say much. I just said "I will be downstairs, when you feel better, come down." I did not engage with the tantrum fit, I did not try to convince him to do something different. I just stated my boundaries, no emotions, just pure assertiveness. I went downstairs and less than five minutes later, he was downstairs all happy and loving again. The Queen did not react, just withdrew her attention to make sure that her boundary was honored and respected.

Being the Queen is hard work, it is a reprogramming of our actions and ways of thinking, but in the end, it is an archetype that is necessary for women to have so we can change the world. We will not change the world as Maidens. We will not change the world as Mothers. We will not change the world as Crones. We, women, will change the world as Queens.

Blessings )0(

Lady Carolina

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Choice and Intention

The other day I was re-reading the book "The Queen of My Self" by Donna Henes and I came across this powerful paragraph:

"The story of our lives is ours to create. We can design our own roles and ideals, compose the scripts, and author the sagas of our own futures and that of the environment around us. While we cannot necessarily control the circumstances and influences that present themselves to us in the course of living, we can choose how we will respond to them when they do arise. Our power of choice is our sole control in the world. With each new paragraph, each turn of the page, each blink of the eye, each new dawn, each moment in time, we are gifted with another opportunity to exercise our right to choose. Coffee or tea? Lemon or milk? Right or left? Stairs or elevator? Vacuum? Vote? Cheat? Trust? Care? Dare? Change? What paths we take, what decisions we make, influence how the story will proceed and who we will be from this day forth."

When I read this paragraph, I couldn't help but think how many times we don't realize that even when we are not choosing a path, we are actually choosing. We are choosing to remain the way we are, we are choosing inaction, we are choosing status quo, we are choosing to remain silent, we are choosing to follow the commands that have been programmed in our minds by society, by our parents, by the world. It is important to realize that from the moment we wake up till we go to bed, we are choosing. What we choose is up to us. We could choose to sit down in front of the television and eat till we can not eat anymore or we can choose to get up and go for a hike. It's really up to us what we choose and how we make our lives. The universe will send messages to us and put us in situations to help us learn lessons and grow, and it is up to us how we react. Do we give up? Do we continue to fight? Do we ignore? Do we deny? Do we confront? Do we explore? Do we take ownership? Choice is power. Don't let others take your power away because you allow them to choose for you because even then, you are choosing and your choice is one of giving away your power.

Intention is also coupled with choice. When we live with intention we know that from the moment we wake up till the moment we go to bed, we have the intention to do something, we have a purpose, we have a vision, we have a plan. Our intention and our choices determine what our lives would be in the future. Like Rev. Ava Park said "there are several dimensions and in another dimension, there is a version of you that already has all the things you want now, it is up to you to choose and manifest those things that are already yours in the here and now." Intention can help you bring them to reality, intention can help you manifest what you want.

So tomorrow, when you wake up, think about the power you have in every choice you make and live with intention. You will see your life flourish and become the image you hold in your mind of how your realm should be.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

In Time

Movies have the power to take us places. To guide our minds to different spaces where we can be curious, we can experience, we can wonder. Today, I watched the movie "In Time." You may be asking yourself if I am a Justin Timberlake fan. Just to clear the air, I am not - LOL. The movie has a very interesting twist and I thought with a tag line that says "Time is Power" it was definitely worth watching. The story is not strong but it does have a key component that made me think a lot. In that time, people use time as currency. Time was literally money and people would die when they ran out of time. A coffee would cost 4 minutes, rent maybe cost a few days, and people got paid in time. People would steal time from each other to be able to survive and time was also a way to controlling people, a form of power.

As I watched this movie, I started thinking about life in general and how we don't appreciate our time. We are usually rushing from one place to the next. The week starts and we want it to be Friday again. The day start and we want it to be 5 o'clock. We just want to push time and fast forward instead of realizing that time is one of the most valuable possessions we have because we do not know when our last day on this earth is, unlike the movie where they had a watch ticking and showing how much they have left. Each day can be the last and if you only had one more day, what would you do on that day? Would you do what you are doing now? Would you spend it with the people you are now? Our clock is ticking within and even though we don't know when it will stop, we do know that it will stop one day for sure. If you are living your life for somebody else, whether it is your parents, your spouse, your partner, your child, think again. Like on an airplane, you need to put your oxygen mask first, then help others. We can not live our lives sacrificing for other, we need to learn our own lives and if each person did that, there would be less misery in the world and people would be happier. We would live in a world where people love what they are doing and they know that each minute is as they would want it to be. No regrets. No pain. No guilt. No anger. Mortality is very real and uncertainty as of how much time we have left is also true. Choose to live your life from the heart. Appreciate and spend each minute wisely. You can not go back in time, you can not change the past, but you can definitely start today to live with intention, to make each minute count, and know that in the future when you look back, you would say "I would not change anything" and in the present moment you would say "this is as I would want it to be now."

Blessings )0(