There are times when I stop and I look around to see who my friends are. Are my friends those people who are usually selfish and are only concerned about themselves? Are my friends supportive and compassionate? Do they care about my well being or do they just pretend to be by my side but hurt me most of the time? While reading the book, Tao of Womanhood, I came across the Japanese concept of Misogi or the art of eliminating the non-essential. Non-essential applies to things, to habits, to people, to anything in life. Quantity sometimes does not mean quality and it is much better to spend some quality time with people than spend hours of mindless time that leads nowhere.
Yesterday, one of my best friends pointed out some things that I was aware of but I did not want to really see and I was grateful that she was open and honest with me. That allowed me to really sit and think about the things that have been going on in my life in the past nine months, how I've been spending my time, who has been by my side and who has just been lingering and needs to be simplified. It is hard to realize that maybe some relationships are not working and we can either change them, work at them, or just let go and move on. Do we want to work on the relationship? Do we feel that we always put 100% while the other person puts nothing or maybe it goes 80/20? A relationship can survive for a short while when one person is putting everything to make it work but it can not last forever and no matter how much that person works at, in the end, she or he will run out of energy and not be able to sustain a one side relationship. This week, we had a Full Moon in Libra and the message was "Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship: it takes two wholes." (Patricia Fry) so that phrase got me thinking about how many times I've been just half of myself in a relationship, maybe even a quarter and that relationships take two full people in order to work, not half, not a quarter but a full person committed to give and receive in the relationship.
It is a good time to re-think and re-evaluate where we are and set a course so we can move forward on Sunday when Mercury turns direct. Just take a minute and think who the people that are around you are, is the relationship making you happy or sad? Is the relationship fulfilling? Are you both putting 50/50? Do you need to make new agreements when it comes to the relationship? These are all questions that we need to ask ourselves and answer if we want to eliminate the non-essential so the essential can have space to be.
Just ask yourself... who are your friends? You have the answers, just look within.