Yesterday I was in the movie theater when my heart went into one of its cycles. A little over three years ago I was diagnosed with a heart condition that makes my heart go faster even when I am sitting and it feels like I am running a marathon while sitting since my heart can go up to 150 sitting. It's a crazy feeling and makes me very uneasy since when it was diagnosed I ended up in the hospital and that experience was quite traumatic. This condition is treated with medication so when I got home took twice the amount and hoped for my heart to get out of the loop it was in and start acting normal. When I woke up this morning, the heart rate was still quite high so I took my medication again and try to relax. I started planning when it would be the time that I would go to the hospital if it did not go down since by that time, I've been with 120 heart rate for 10 hours and I was starting to feel dizzy. It was in that moment when I started thinking about my life and how I had been spending my time. If I were to die today, would I have devoted the amount of time I devoted to stress and drama in my life? Would I feel I have lived fully and with passion? Would I feel like I spent too much time worrying about the future instead of enjoying the present moment? Had I put work before loved ones? Had I put stress about stupid things before enjoying the sun and the fresh air?
Luckily, my heart went back to normal before the deadline I had placed to go to the hospital and I tried to relax the rest of the day. I was feeling drained and exhausted but in the afternoon I had the feeling that I needed some fresh air so I went outside and sat next to the trees. I started thinking again about how many times we take life for granted, how often we don't enjoy the simple things in life because we are worried about other things. I sat there watching two kids playing. They were having so much fun. I remember when I was a child and played like that. We don't need to stop enjoying life when we grow up, we need to remember to be thankful for what we have and the most important thing we have is our lives because if we are dead, we are no more. As I watched the kids the song "I hope you dance" by Lee Ann Womack came on and the lyrics were just perfect for that moment.
"I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along)
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder, where those years have gone?)"
As I listened to this song and watched the kids playing, I thought about the times I may have decided to sit down instead of dance. Sometimes I feared the mountains in the distance and I had thought to take the path of least resistance but in the end, I know I don't want to regret the past so I will dance and I will take action to live each day like it is the last day - make each day meaningful, filled with love, passion, happiness, and gratitude.
Blessings,
Lady Carolina
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