When I started my Enneagram journey, I thought I was a #3 but after working with Ava, I discovered I am a # 2 and as the name says it - the helper. Each enneagram type has the positive and the challenging traits and for twos the positive is that we are open hearted, we give from the heart and we always anticipate other people´s needs. The challenging areas are connected to the over giving mother, people pleasing and a hard time when being alone.
During the past few weeks, I´ve been working on the challenging traits of the twos. Even without noticing, I planned a trip to Half Moon Bay on my own - just just me and myself. That was the first time that I had traveled for fun just on my own. Usually when I travel alone, I do it for business or because there is some purpose - attend a conference, visit a friend, etc, but this time I was just going away to relax, have some fun, and recharge my energies.
After the Queen Convocation in Orange County two weeks ago, I decided to start being completely clear and honest in my communications. I was to avoid people pleasing behavior as well as victimization or passive aggressive communications. During the first week after the Convocation, I had a very heated conversation with my boss. She was communicating in a very unprofessional way telling me she was anal retentive (and yes we know that) so I told her I was a perfectionist and the way the communication went ended with her smiling and backing down. In the past, I would have never responded the way I did but this time, I just said what I thought and I did not fear. It was time for clear communication and get to the same level because she would not have responded if I had said her communication style was unprofessional and disrespectful.
The third lesson I am working on is to give from the heart without any expectation of return. Twos have a tendency to give too much and then become resentful and angry. I do not want to be one of those people who are always angry and saying "Because I did this or that for you...." and expecting something in return. I have begun to not offer help every time something comes up and if I do, it is really because I want to and not because I feel I need to please somebody or what something in return even if that something is a person saying how nice I am or how good I am. I am also learning to love myself first and not expect others to appreciate me or value me for what I do but yes for who I am.
The enneagram is an amazing tool and I highly recommend it to anybody who wants to work on their challenging traits, grow and evolve.
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
Note: Thank you Ava for your teachings and your knowledge