Yesterday, I woke up thinking about how balance and harmony play such an important role in our lives. Sometimes, I can't help but notice how some people only focus all their energies in one area of their lives such as work and then they miss on the other important things in life. The same thing happens when we only focus on the spiritual side and forget the mundane. It is all about balance, yin and yan, and we can not avoid that. We can be highly spiritual individuals but the mundane aspects of life are still present and it is important to acknowledge them. Two years ago, I was one of those people; I was putting all my energy at work to the point that I ended up in the hospital with a very interesting heart condition. I do believe that all our illnesses are a reflection of what is happening in our lives and could be psychosomatic. When the doctor said that my heart was very strong but I had an electrical problem, I couldn't help but think that the energies were not flowing right. As he explained my condition, he said that the electrical system in my heart had a loop, and when my energies got into that loop, only the top part of the heart was working what made my heart go 178 beats while resting. At the time, I was working with my counselor and she asked me to draw a picture of my heart to explain the condition. I drew my heart and divided it in four parts. The top left quadrant symbolized work, the top right quadrant symbolized school, the bottom left quadrant symbolized family and friends, and the bottom right quadrant symbolized fitness. Then I drew the electrical current flowing from the top to all the heart and I drew the loop in the work quadrant. In the center of all quadrants I drew a circle symbolizing my spirituality that touches all areas of my life and heart. Looking back at that picture, I know that I have learned to live in harmony making sure that I give time to all areas of my life. Now that I don't have school anymore, that quadrant is covered with some of my personal projects such as translating the FOI liturgy but I still remain very focused on keeping balance and harmony as an essential part of my life since when one part becomes predominant, I usually tend to get back into the loop and that is not healthy for me.
As I learn to live in harmony, I am also learning to accept that not everything is for me and that sometimes, I come across disciplines that are not for me, and that's ok. Sometimes in wanting to do everything I lose sight of what I really want to accomplish so during the dark part of the year, it is my time to go within and redefine my goals, find those areas that I want to pay attention to, and let go of the others that don't serve me anymore or that I am not meant to do. Discernment and discrimination are necessary to make sure we weed those things that just interfere and we have time to dedicate to those things that are really important to us. We all come with our specific gifts and purpose so we need to make sure we don't derail from it. A week ago, a person tried to tell me what to do with my life, how to live it, and what not to do. Needless is to say that I usually don't take that very well since I like making my own decisions, even if those decisions will not be the best for me, I still make them since I will learn from them. This person reminded me of how some people give their power away to others, how some people prefer others to decide for them or tell them how to live because it is easier if it does not work out, then those people take zero ownership and blame others because they were just following what other person's instructions. If I needed somebody to tell me how to live my life, I think I would have remained in the Catholic Church, follow the 10 Commandments, go to church every Sunday, and make sure I confess all my sins. Instead, I have chosen the path of the Priestess, the path of empowerment, the path of ownership on making my life the life I want to live and not letting others make the decisions for me or control me in any way. It is not an easy path because when things go wrong, I have nobody but myself to blame, but in the end, this path is more rewarding for me because I am free to choose, to make mistakes, to learn and evolve.
Every day, when I wake up, I usually think "If I were to die today, would I have lived the life I wanted to live or would I have sacrificed my time in meaningless activities?" I try to live my life from the heart everyday so there are no regrets. I was reading a book the other day and I came across this phrase that really called my attention "When you die, only three things will remain of you, since you will abandon all material things on the threshold of the Otherworld: what you have taught to others, what you have created with your hands, and how much love you have spread." (Francois Bourillon). This is the reason why I don't dedicate all my time to just one activity but instead I find balance. I know I need to work but I also want to have fun. I know I need to clean the house but I also spend time with my loved one. I am a very spiritual being but I also laugh at myself and be silly at times. Balance and harmony are essential in my life so if I were to die today, I know I have lived my life fully and enjoy every moment in my life.