As I woke up at 4 AM with sharp stomach pain, I couldn't help but wonder what realities are just too much to chew on that I am having a hard time digesting. When I look at my life, I see areas where reality is just too hard to chew and I think the physical manifestation of those big chunks of information is a serious case of indigestion. Wishing there would be a Pepto for emotional indigestion or a serious case of unhappiness and confusion, I reach out for the normal Pepto to treat the physical manifestation of what is brewing within. Yes, there are those days when we wake up and see the world different, like the veil was lifted and reality hits us like a hard slap on the face. We may have been waiting for something that will never manifest, we may be thinking that a person will change, we may be hoping that the job we are so unhappy at will somehow be different tomorrow. Many times, we put all our expectations on the outside - whether it is people or things - for situations to get better and in doing so, we give our power away. We think we will be happy if .... and you can complete the sentence. We shift the focus from ourselves to outside factors believing that if the situation changes, we would be happy. We have 0 control on the outside factors but we do have control over ourselves. We can choose to take a different road. We don't have to let life happen to us, we can make life happen to us by directing our energies and making our own decisions.
Sometimes it is easier to let life happen to us, let other decide our future, because in doing so we don't need to feel responsible for what our life look like. We don't have to take ownership of the fact that we are unhappy and we could choose to be happy. We just go with the flow expecting things will get better someday.
A few years ago, one of my astrology teachers told me "if you don't make a decision, the universe will make it for you." For example, those people that complain about their jobs every day but never choose to find a happier job may get fired or let go because they were not happy but they were not able to make a decision.
As I try to digest my reality and make sense of the road to take, I know I have let life happen to me during the past few months waiting for things to change but I can see that many things will only remain the same. It is too much to chew on at times but in the end, I want to be the driver of my own life and not be sitting on the passenger seat. I want to have control of my life and where I want to be. I don't want to wake up one day and realize that my life has passed me by and I just let things happen to me, that I have lived a flavorless life and have regrets.
Like Alice, I can choose to make my own path. I don't need to wait for others, I can decide for myself on what is best. Our lives are our creations so we can choose to create something beautiful, with intention and power, or we can let it grow and see where it takes us. One path has ownership and power, the other one is just the opposite. We can always choose and it is up to us to decide what's next.