Wednesday, March 30, 2011

For every "Yes" there must be a corresponding "No"

While reading the book "The Tao of Womanhood" by Diane Dreher, I came across this phrase "For every Yes there must be a corresponding No to keep thinks in harmony." This phrase really resonated with me because as we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else and that keeps everything balanced. For example, today I got home with a horrible mood and I decided to not do anything and just go walk in the park. I felt I needed to get away, enjoy the sun, the fresh air, and just relax. In saying Yes to the walk in the park, I said no to studying Mandarin, laying in bed, spending time with my husband, but I just felt I needed to get out and saying no to all those things brought me back to harmony as I walked in the park and enjoyed watching the ducks, laying on the grass, reading my book, and just listening to my body and my own needs. Sometimes, we get so busy that we forget to listen to ourselves and see what we really need, we start moving through the motions and fulfilling other people's needs and our needs get to the bottom of the list. Today was a perfect example for me since I just came back from work, changed clothes and left again to go to the park. In doing so, I listened to my inner voice saying I needed sun, air and time to relax. I did not listen to my brain saying "why are you going alone? Really, you will go all by yourself.... why would you do that?" The normal chatter that is usually in our minds that is called the monkey mind. That type of mind set that prevents growth and clutters our brain with unnecessary what ifs or gives you negative feedback.

When I came back from my walk I felt refreshed and happy. Listening to my Goddess songs as I walked in nature really did the trick for me. Today, my best friend was joking and told me "you are grounded" and somehow my brain went to the fact that I was definitely not grounded, I felt scattered and all over the place but his comment made me think that I needed to get grounded. That's why spending time in Nature was what I needed today to ground, to let go of all that negativity that has been surrounding me and just be. Doing so much sometimes gets exhausting and depleting and it is up to us to say NO and take time for ourselves.

My husband was complimenting me today on how I was able to take care of my needs and if I needed to be away, I could take care of myself and go. He mentioned how at times he needed the same but for some reason he couldn't make the move. That made me think of all those people who don't make the move. Whether it is something within or something without, they seem to not be able to say Yes to their needs and instead they keep saying No to themselves.

If we keep in mind that for every yes there must be a corresponding no, we will avoid many pains and also be able to choose from a perspective of power and not from a perspective of victimhood where things just happen to us or we have too much to do because we keep saying yes when we want to say no and with every yes we say that we don't mean, there is a corresponding no to ourselves. Take charge today and set your boundaries strong so you don't have to say yes when you mean no.

Blessings )0(

1 comment:

  1. "and with every yes we say that we don't mean, there is a corresponding no to ourselves."

    What an excellent way to put it! I get caught up at work, skipping breaks because an urgent this or that comes in. I'm going to keep this in mind that when I say yes to lunch time work I'm also saying no to my recuperation time. I think I know this on some level, but it's good to specifically call it out and recognize what I am choosing. Thanks for sharing this!