Monday, January 16, 2012

When the Red Queen comes out....

Off with their heads!!!!! We all have those moments when the irrational parts in ourselves come out and play. When somebody says the wrong thing and sets you off on a fiery road that may end up worse than started. We all have our trigger words or situations that may get the ugly out pretty quickly. We may get angry, we may get sad, we may get upset and stop seeing the big picture because we are hurt or our boundaries have been crossed. We all have people that push us and make us go irrational. For me, one of those people was my mother. She was able to literally ignite me and get the beast out of myself. I know it may sound crazy but we all have that dark side, our shadow self, that is hidden or pacified but when awaken can not be calm down. Many people prefer to ignore it because it is not pretty. Women are not supposed to get angry. Women are not supposed to be aggressive. Women are not supposed to get upset. There are so many rules about how to be and how not to be but in the end, it takes a lot of energy to hold those parts of ourselves in the dark. The Ancient Greek Aphorism says "Know Thyself." or "γνῶθι σεαυτόν" and this means to know yourself fully, not just the part we like, but also the part that you don't like. It's easy to accept our good traits like compassionate, loving, caring, perseverant, etc, but when it comes to the challenging traits like irritable, impatient, anxious, aggressive, among others, it is harder to accept that we have those characteristics within.

We are a blend of positive and challenging traits and that keeps us in harmony when we learn to accept all our parts within ourselves. If we spend a lot of energy blocking the challenging traits, one day they explode and what I call the Red Queen (yes, from Alice in Wonderland) comes out and starts cutting heads off. We stop thinking clearly and instead we just blast. Those are them moments when we need our Queen self to not be Red but to go back to Neutral White. As Rev. Ava Park said "The Queen does not react; she intends, she plans, she sets boundaries, then she acts." When we lose our temper and our vision gets cloudy, we need to remember that we should not react but instead look within and see what boundary was broken or what triggered that reaction, then clearly state that we don't appreciate that comment or situation and what the consequence would be if it happens again. In this way, we are able to honor our boundaries and request others to respect them as well. In doing so, we may avoid situations that trigger the Red Queen to come out but if the Red Queen happens to come out, just honor her, ask her what is making her upset, and let the emotions flow so they don't bottle up and come out stronger in the future.

Know yourself - know what sets you off, what ignites you, what turns you irrational and accept those parts of yourself as you accept your loving, caring, beautiful self. They are all part of you and it takes more energy to hide them than to lovingly accept them so they can all live in harmony and lead you to live a life more fully and whole

Blessings,

Lady Carolina

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