Nobody puts baby in the corner! I couldn´t help but start with this phrase from Dirty Dancing, one of my favorite movies from all time, because it does mean so much. It´s just a simple phrase, a simple scene but it contains a lot of meaning. Do you put yourself in the corner? Do you let others treat you in an unfair way? Do you allow others to take your light? Are you dimming yourself so you don´t look as bright to others? Do you believe in yourself to stand tall and speak your truth? When I hear that phrase, I think of all those times when I put myself in the corner of life and I did not allow myself to shine brightly because I did not want to be the center, I did not want to call anybody´s attention, I just wanted to be the wallflower in the background and not be noticed by anybody.
I also noticed this pattern in my relationships where I was able to tolerate certain behaviors that I would not tolerate today. I once heard that we will only tolerate as much pain from others as we are able to inflict to ourselves. I know this to be true. Looking back at the relationships in my life I can see the people who were in my life just to take, they were there because I would easily give to them and fulfill their needs but they did not care about me in any level. I can also see those who treated me badly or were rude and I was not able to stand up and say "hey, you don´t speak to me like that, that´s not okay." I would just ignore the words or pretend they were not there. Just look at the other side and deny reality because if I saw this person for who that person was, I would see an abusive human being who is treating me the way I just treat myself because deep within you think you deserve to be treated that way.
Today, with the Full Moon in Virgo, I start seeing that the past is the past and I can not modify it. The relationships and situations that have brought me pain can only be healed by changing my present moment decisions and in those decisions I build the foundation for my future. It begins with me not accepting people treating me in a bad way, dimming my light so they can shine brighter, putting me down or just being disrespectful to me. I also don´t want any more people who are just in my life to take advantage of me in any way. I want people that are there to share the journey of life with me, that will support me and allow me to grow, those who will show me the areas I can work on and also be grateful for all those things I give to them because relationships are a give and take, they are a mutual and reciprocal partnerships. No part needs to give more than the other but there needs to be balance and harmony between giving and receiving so the partnership can grow stronger. If one gives less all the time, the partnership erodes while if one partner gives all, he or she will just burn out and resent the other. We can change our future by changing our present and not allowing unhealthy patterns to continue. We have the power to modify our destiny and to reroute our ship. We are on the driver seats of our lives.
If you are evaluating your relationships and your life today, just know it all starts with You! Make your present what you want it to be. Don´t allow others to spoil your happiness moments and just live from the heart. As you resonate with your own song, your tribe will find you. Just be authentic and honest. It all starts with You!
Carolina A. Amor
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
Member of the Archdruid Union
Founder of Tienda Roja