Monday, September 20, 2010

Alone and Ok

Every year, as it gets nearer my birthday, I like looking back and connecting the dots - seeing where the road took me and where I am going. This year, when it started, my main goal was to love and accept myself just the way I am; let go of the need to please others and live the life I was born to live, not the one others want me to live. Part of being who I am was developing my role as a Priestess and finding my true calling. When I figured out that I wanted to be a bridge between the Spanish Community and the English materials, I realized that was my calling. I wanted to translate the materials that were in English so people who are not as lucky as I am could still have access to the materials and learn about the Goddess. This journey allowed me to meet some wonderful teachers and mentors as well as writers and Priestesses. I connected with Lady Olivia who showed me how to make my dreams come true and create my first Lyceum. I connected with some amazing teachers such as Karen Tate, Loreon Vigne, Glenys Livingstone, DeAnna L'am, among many others. Priestesses like me who are in a journey of self discovery and sharing with others. I love being able to connect with real women who have similar objectives to the ones I have and seeing we are all part of a whole.

This year was also about becoming healthy and whole. I ran my first 5K and now I am planning to train for my first triathlon. I lost over 25 pounds and my goal is just to eat healthy and live an active life because my body is my temple and I should care about it that way. Sometimes, we want to lose weight to feel beautiful but in my case, it was more about being healthy and I believe the beauty from within, the spiritual light and spark of Goddess that shines through me is enhanced by my healthy living.

It is interesting that this year, for the first time in my whole life, I find myself in a strange place, all alone, for my birthday, on a work trip for a Business Continuity and Disaster Recovery Symposium. Yes! What a topic!!! Just what I want to think about in my bday. If a shooter enters the building.... if a bomb goes off... how would I tell the family of the people who died.... how do you communicate with the press? Wonderful topics to make you feel happy and content, bday material! Yesterday, as I was talking to my husband, I was singing Celine Dion's song "all by myself, don't want to be" and talking about spending my bday alone. Then I realized, this is it!!! I've been talking about accepting myself just the way I am, loving myself for who I am, and not feeling like I need other people's acceptance or depend on others. This is the perfect opportunity to be all alone and be happy because I am my best companion. Being alone allows me to see who I really am and make sure that I can see where I am going, and if I am not happy spending my bday with myself.. who would be?

This trip is turning to be a blessing in disguise because it is allowing me the time to be by myself, evaluate, plan and draft the course for the next year. With my ordination as Hierophant taking place in less than a month I know that more responsibility will come as I promise the Goddess that I am committed to be a Priestess and to my path. I am very thankful for all that has happened this summer because I was able to honor my needs, to accept myself as I am and to let go of those people who were not meant to be in my life anymore. Today, as I am sitting in a hotel room in a place I've never been before on the day before my bday, I am at peace, I feel that I am where I am supposed to be and that I am who I am supposed to be. I feel happy, I am smiling, and as in the movie 13 going 30 said "I am thirty, and flirty, and thriving"

Blessings )0(

1 comment:

  1. Me alegro Caro, por esta experiencia que estás viviendo. Muy feliz cumpleaños...contigo misma y tod@ lo demás.