This year has been filled with very powerful trips, and I feel every journey has had a message for me; a lesson to learn; some power to be reclaimed. My trip to Argentina showed me that it was time for me to open up and trust Goddess to show me the way, it was time to connect with my body and reclaim it as my Temple. To let the Goddess within shine through me and start connecting with my feminine side more strongly knowing that by being feminine I was not saying I was weak; that I could be beautiful and strong at the same time. During my trip to Oregon, I kept connecting with Nature and feeling the power of the Mother around me, knowing that she was with me all the time and that every time I need her, I can go to her and ask for what I needed. Last week, I had to go to North Carolina for a business trip. When I found out that I would be spending my birthday in North Carolina alone on a business trip to attend a conference on Business Continuity and Disaster Recovery, I couldn't help but think that Goddess was sending me some kind of sign. Is my life a disaster that needs to be contained? Am I derailing and need to get back on track? What is the message for this trip? Then I realized that it was one of empowerment and not that my life needed to be fixed but that I had reached a point of power where I could stand on my own and feel good.
The trip started with the need to assert myself and not let small things make me get upset. For example, when I got to Denver, I went for breakfast and I clearly told the waitress I wanted French Toast, but instead, he brought me pancakes so very assertively I corrected the order but did not let that ruin my breakfast. Then, on the plane, I asked for apple juice and I did not get it so I called the flight attendant and asked for it a second time, once again, I did not let that bother me but I still did not let things pass by either. In the past, I would not have said anything and just stick with what they brought me or did not bring me, but this time, I spoke up and sometimes it is in the small things where we see the change in attitude. It is taking baby steps that help us feel more confident and safe so when we face the big decisions or the big confrontations, we are still able to speak up and say what we think or feel.
This trip was also about trusting the Goddess to guide me since some things were up in the air when I left. For example, I was told to contact the hotel to pick me up from the airport and then I had no idea who would take me to the office the morning after, what is worse, I did not know where the office was and my remote access was not working so I could not log in to my work email to get the information. Yes, I was a bit stranded but I decided not to let that stress me out. I went to the front desk and asked if they were arranging transportation for the company I work for and they said no, but they put me through one person who was going to the office and I decided to ride with him since I assumed he was in the same class I was. Little did I know there were several classes going on in the company and I was tagging along with the wrong group... yep! I was ok, I made it to the office and got there on time and did not let that stressed me out. The same happened on my way back when I only had 30 minutes to connect my flights and everyone was making bets that I would not make it there and would have to spend the night in Chicago, but I released the stress and asked Isis to help me and I did make it to the connection. Just detached and trust was one of the topics from this trip.
Another lesson from this trip was one of claiming my power and letting go of the shyness that has always been around me, stand strong in my power and be confident. In the past, I would have not spoken up or socialize but during this trip, but instead, I went for dinner with some coworkers I just met that day to celebrate my birthday and I had a wonderful time. I was not afraid to speak in the class and be the spoke person for my group. I was able to hold the tension of being the center of attention. It was a powerful experience to be strong and be the center, not to feel shy or small or weak, and to be feminine in doing so. In the past, I would have hid behind the masculine outlook but this time, I decided to be feminine and strong. Even when I faced an awkward moment, I was able to hold the tension. Yes, it was an awkward moment!! Let me tell you about it. On my birthday, after dinner, I decided I wanted some wine so I went to the bar in the hotel and I was planning to get back to my room and relax with the wine. Since the elevator was a mess and I did not want to get down twice but wanted two glasses of wine, I ordered them together. As I am paying for my order, the organizer of the conference comes to the bar and sees me with the "two" glasses of wine, awkward!!! Then he convinces me to drink with him and the other guy that he was with since he could not let me drink alone on my birthday so I stayed with them. Two men became five men and me. They were talking about the waitresses in the restaurant, how hot they were... yep awkward! But I stayed there, very womanly but very strong and not hiding or running away. That moment showed me I could stand strong among men without having to become masculine, and yes, now I am the one known for the two glasses of wine in the Business Continuity Community... LOL.... They may think I have an alcohol problem.
Overall, this trip showed me I can be alone, be strong, be feminine, and not let things that go wrong ruin anything. It's all in the attitude!