Everyday, I wake up and I take a card to guide me during the day. Today, I got the "Thunderbird Clan" card. This card talks about imminent changes and rebuilding, like the phoenix rising from the ashes or the destruction that needs to take place before the new beginnings can take place. When I saw this card I couldn't help but think... well I've been going through changes for the past few months... now what? Little did I know that I was going to find some surprises at work! First, I found out that a person who does not work really hard may be getting promoted what really made me upset. I don't mind people getting promoted but the fact that many times men get promoted when they don't work hard enough and women who work their butt off don't really triggers me. It's like getting slapped on the face by patriarchy in a sense. Second, I found out I am moving for the third time in a period of one year... Maybe I should keep my things in boxes since I move more than I have ever moved in my whole life! And having been with this company for 5 years, I have tons of things that I am packing and unpacking, packing and unpacking.... My first reaction to these news was to get very upset, to start thinking about how I am not giving projects to grow, that my projects are not helping me learn about my role but instead I am like a secretary setting up meetings and building binders for training, working on setting up a new system for my team to track different things, etc. After rambling for a while, I realized I am not a victim here. It is my choice to grow or not to grow with the company. For the past few months I've been saying I don't want to get promoted because being promoted means having to work 24/7 and that type of living does not fit my needs anymore. I need to have harmony in my life and I am not about to sacrifice my free time to go up the ladder. That ladder does not lead me to happiness instead of happiness leads me to the hospital - at least that is where I ended last time I was climbing.
Sometimes it is easier to blame others for things we don't get, to say we are not given opportunities, to blame the devil or evil forces for our problems, but that is not my path. My path is one of ownership and I know that my life is the reflection of the things I want to manifest. It is a reflection of what I want and create in my mind. The energies are just adjusting to my desires and that's why I have to be very careful what I wish for since it may come true. When I chose to become a Priestess, I also chose to have time to do my spiritual work and that means that my work was just a job and my passion is my Priestess work. It is time to find a way to bridge the two but in the meantime, I will just continue knowing that work is just work and that it is my choice to remain where I am and if I want to change, I can definitely do so. No victim mentality. No rambling. Just ownership and choice.