Saturday, August 18, 2012

Next Step

As I prepare for my doctor´s appointment next Wednesday, I can´t help but look back at the boot journey and what it has meant to me. When I broke my foot in June, I was very disappointed at the idea of having to be in the boot for most of the summer. I thought about all the things I was not able to do - biking, hiking, swimming (in the beginning), and some other things. I felt weak and fragile because I had to ask for help, I had to depend on others when I have always been superwoman, being able to do everything myself and not depending on anybody. I had to learn to receive help because when people see you with this boot, believe me, they want to help you! 

As the days passed and I started getting used to my supportive companion (yes... because it definitely supported my broken foot!), I realized how many times I had taken things for granted and we only realize we don´t have them when they are gone. Why can´t we be grateful everyday for all the good things in our lives? It goes from waking up in the morning to being able to breath everyday. How many relationships have we taken for granted? Have you woken up one day and found that a friend is gone because you neglected the relationship so much that it just broke?

Getting closer to the point of saying good bye to the boot, I start thinking what is the next step. Was I not able to take the next step so my foot broke? Was my foundation too rigid or too soft? Was my foundation not solid enough so I could step confidently into the future? 

This weekend has been very transformational for me. For the first time in my life, I decided to go away to take care of myself. On Thursday, I felt I needed to go away to refocus my energy and have some ME time. I asked the Goddess to guide me and I found this beautiful hotel in Half Moon Bay. I´ve been craving lobster for a while so I decided to make a reservation for a very special dinner with the most important person in my life, ME. As I drove to Half Moon Bay, I could feel my inner child excited about the adventure of going to a place I have never been before. When I got to the hotel, I found this beautiful paradise. My room was spectacular and the ladies in the front desk were very nice. As I talked to my father and told him I had gone on a little ME retreat, he told me that sometimes the ocean calls you and you have to go. Yes!!!! I have that in the genes and I take after my father in that sense, LOL. 

During dinner, I brought my book with me just in case I felt uncomfortable eating by myself. Little did I know I was in for a dinner of a lifetime. The food was amazing and they gave me a table where I could see the ocean while eating. I found myself enjoying dinner, the view and the attention I was getting from the server who I think was fascinated about the fact that I was all by myself and I was enjoying myself plenty. There is something to be said about how people look at you when you are a woman by yourself. People expect that you have a partner or a girlfriend, but an empowered woman alone really gets the center light and the fascination from others. After dinner, I went to the beach and for the first time, I took my boot out and walk on the sand. It felt so good! I was carrying the boot like if it was my baby. Yes, for 7 weeks this boot was my support and now I was supporting it by carrying it with me. 

When I got back to the hotel, I decided to ask the ladies in the front desk if they have a glass for wine. I was determined I was not going to drink my wine on a plastic cup. We need to treat ourselves the way we want others to treat us... no more plastic cups! The lady at the front desk brought me a beautiful glass and smile at me deeply because she knew it was time for hot tub and wine!

Today, I decided to go to the beach so I could play with the sand and the water. As I started walking on the trail, I noticed that it was quite complex to get down to the beach as there were some cliffs and I had my boot on... Finally I found a place where I felt I could go down. As I reached the water, I felt so empowered! I had been able to get there without the boot and my foot was feeling fine. That´s when I realized that I do not need to have a solid foundation to take the next step, but instead I need to have a flexible foundation because if I am solid and rigid, everything can break but if I am flexible, no matter how big the earthquake is, it will not break me, I will just twist and turn but not break. I know I am ready to take the next step. I have learned my lesson and it´s time to take the next step.

Many Blessings,

Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

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