What´s in the name?

Carolina Amalia Amor.... Doesn´t it sound nice? Who would change her name when her last name means love? Me, me, me!!!!!! Yep, you read this right. Ten years ago, when I got married, I decided to take my husband´s last name - Boggs. I was following my country´s tradition of taking the husband´s name when you get married instead of deciding to remain Amor. I still remember my dad telling me.... you are a Boggs now, Amor no more! That was shocking for me at the time but I was happily married and it was the tradition to take a husband´s name so why would I break the tradition? I had already broken so many rules by being a witch in a Catholic family and not getting married in the church so why wouldn´t  I follow at least one tradition and take my husband´s name? 

When I arrived in Miami with my secret envelope from the embassy, I remember the officer telling me I had to go to this office at the end of the hall and I was like... darn it... I knew it, there was something weird in this envelope they gave me and told me not to open, lol! I was only 23 years old and I was so scared! I spoke the language but I was so shy and so small at the time. I remember the lady that did my fingerprints and completed my paper telling me when she saw my papers... oh you are keeping your Amor name, that´s such a nice name! Little did I know that she was an angel in my path trying to warn me that I would regret changing my name many years later. 

When I went to the social security office, I still remember the lady in the office tearing the paper in pieces when I signed Amor and saying "You are not that one anymore, sign your new name." Those words will remain in my mind forever because I was still that one... I was very much that one.... but in order to fit in, in order to blend, I took a different name so I would not stand out. People would not even realize I was Latin, I look pretty much American with my blonde hair, white skin and green eyes. 

When I became an American citizen was the first time I was fully Carolina Boggs and no hint of Amor anymore. The only place that I had my maiden name was my green card and I had to give that one away when I went to the ceremony and they told me "You are not an Alien anymore". Really? But I do come from another planet, lol!!!!!!  If I look at my American herstory, I can see it is filled with I am not that..... you fill it... You are not Amor anymore... You are not an Alien anymore..... You are not.....

It is time to break this pattern and claim who I really am. Now I´ve been living in this country for 10 years and during those 10 years I have become a strong and powerful woman that knows the power of names and she is ready to claim her own. I am ready to go to court and get my maiden name back if that´s what it takes because I am definitely Carolina Amalia Amor and I am very proud of my name. It shows my roots, it shows my nationality, it shows my core.

One of my coworkers is getting married and she is taking her husband´s name... When I heard this, I was like - are you sure? And she was totally sure she wanted to take that name. I still wonder why we women are so eager to get rid of our own essence and name and use our husbands´. I know I was very young when I got married and I did not think how important my own name was. Now looking back, I know that if I would ever be to get married again, I would not take anybody´s name because mine is perfect. This is who I am. This is my essence and my family tree. Names have power. Do you know the power of your name? 

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

The Detonator

Last week, I was presenting in The Goddess Temple of Orange County about the Queen and Leadership and as I was talking about different things, I reached a point in the presentation when I felt I could not remember the word I wanted to use to describe a catalyst and the word detonator came up instead. I remember seeing the faces of the women lit up when that word was spoken. It really resonated with most of us because we all know those people who come to our lives and they create havoc, those who detonate the situations that are meant to help us grow and evolve. At the time when the detonator goes off, the world seems to collapse and what you knew before no longer serves you. Pieces fly in the air and you try to hold on for dear life because life as you knew it is gone. Like the Tower card in the tarot, the detonator works like the lighting bolt coming down from heaven crashing everything on its way down.

Do you know anybody in your life that has come and demolished your foundations? They come in many forms and shapes. Sometimes we can see them coming from afar but we allow them to be in our lives because we know they will bring great transformation and they will allow us to have those lessons we signed up for when we incarnated in this planet. Sometimes they take us by surprise and we experience great shock when the detonator goes off. The detonator can be a person or a situation that pushes us to reevaluate our core principles and either stand strong for what we believe or change our paradigm to match our new vibration. They are just there to be the channel for transformation in our path.

At times, when we see the detonator, we may try to diffuse it if we don´t want it to go off. We try to hide it or not look at it but in doing so, we are just preventing the course of action and sooner or later the bomb will go off and you will not be able to contain the transformational power of change. The detonator is there to rock your boat, to help you get used to change and the unknown, to create fear that can be transmuted to power once we come out the other side.

We can all be a detonator for others. I know I am one in many areas of my life. I am the one that brews the stew within. I take a lot of time thinking and evaluating options but when I have made up my mind, I definitely detonate. I am the one that wakes up one day after months of meditation and changes the course of action in one second. Actually that´s what others see, they see the instant change but they do not realize that the change has been cooking for a long time  and now they see the reaction. I remember many years ago when I was studying to become an English Teacher and one day, I woke up and told my parents I was not going to continue going to university. That was it... done. My dad was in state of shock because he couldn´t understand and I know I rocked his foundation at that time (as many other times lol). He had not seen it coming but it was there all along and I had evaluated all the options and made the decision that was best for me. I usually don´t incorporate others in my evaluation process and they just see the end result so they think I changed from one day to the other. When I make up my mind, there is no going back. I know this situation has detonated issues in others who all of the sudden see a different person in me. Can you recall a time when you were a detonator for others?

I am grateful for all the detonators in my life because they have made me who I am. If all is love and light, there wouldn´t be a chance to experience our strength and power. Next time you find a detonator in your life, be grateful because they will help you grow and become a better you even though at the time of explosion it seems like it is the end of the world.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina Amor
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

What is a deal breaker for you?

Hollywood flowers or a long conversation? Have you bought into the glamour of love instead of knowing what is really important for you and what a deal breaker is in a relationship? They tell us they have to bring us flowers, chocolates, jewelry.... you name it.... we are exposed to endless stories of what love is about but in our hearts we know that´s fake. That´s just a hallmark card of what love is about. It is not the real definition of love. Trust me... for somebody whose last name is love yep Carolina Amor.... I know what is to buy into the fake reality of love instead of really drilling what´s important in a relationship.

The other day, I was talking to Ava Park during our Queen Counsel session and she brought this to my attention. She asked me if I really knew what was essential for me in a relationship and what would be a good to have but we can live without. Being an Enneagram # 2, I usually focus on what I don´t have in the relationship instead of looking at what is there and the good parts of what the other person is doing to show me that he or she loves me. For example, if I am sick, is my partner bringing me food and taking care of my needs or is he acting as if nothing happens and ignores my needs? I think I feel loved when my partner brings me a cup of soup when I am in bed and I feel very sick.

One thing that is essential for me is that my partner listens to me and when I say listen, I mean active listening. I need to feel that the other person is engaged in the conversation and that I am not making a monologue where I am just talking and there is no interaction. When I feel I am not being listened or that the conversation is not interesting for the other person, I shut down because I feel I am talking to the wall and for that, I have no desire of talking.

My partner also needs to support me in my role as a Priestess and in my spirituality. I could not be with somebody who judges me or does not support me in my spiritual path. Being a Priestess is one of the most important roles in my life and if my partner does not support that, then I think that´s a serious deal breaker. I don´t think I am one that could be in the closet with my spirituality. If you come to my house, you see my house is a Temple. Goddess statues everywhere, tarot decks, symbols, drums.... you name it. You can definitely feel the Goddess energy in my house and I would not be able to live or be with somebody who does not respect or support that.

Being a woman who has a lot of planets in the element Earth in her natal chart and lived most of her life from an overgiving mother role, my partner needs to be one that motivates me to go on adventures. He has to be one that will bring out the Maiden Queen out and helps me leave behind my rigid structure and allows me to have fun. He has to be one that is not scared of going hiking in the woods or walking under the moon. He has to be one when I am feeling down because I am buried with responsibilities from work, home, my communities and all areas in my life I am responsible for, he tells me to go for an adventure and forget it all for a little bit. He is also the one that tells me to snap out of it and be the Queen I am when I am having a victim mentality moment.

I know flowers are amazing, I love chocolates, and I am passionate about cards because I enjoy reading them when I am feeling a little sad but I know these things are not the essential things I need in my relationship. They are great to have but if they are missing, it is ok because if I have a partner who supports me, listens to me, cares about me, is there for the good times and the times when I am not in my best behavior, helps me grow and makes me think, he is kind and protects me, I think I have it all at that point. I know what my deal-breakers are, do you know what is a deal breaker for you?

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

www.circulodeisis.org

Member of the Archdruid Union

https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union

Founder of Tienda Roja

https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Release the Past - Eclipse Power at work!

We are in the in between!!! Yes, you read it right! We are in between Eclipses and with that, we have a chance to let go of those patterns that do not serve us anymore, release the past and move on to the next steps in our journey. It´s time to drop the bag of past experiences that we are carrying and that is tainting our present moment. If you are like me, you may fill in the gaps with past experiences and usually not the good past experiences. The Universe is giving us a chance to reset and start again if we can let go of fear of change and accept that things may not be comfortable but they will be what we need to evolve in our path.

On April 25, we experienced a Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio. That eclipse was pushing us to let go of fear of loss. It was time to take a look at life and make a realistic assessment of what we have and what we have outgrown. It was time to release long-standing patterns that have no meaning to us on a personal level as well as in the collective.

Tomorrow, we will be facing a Solar Eclipse in Taurus. The message this time is one of releasing the past and reawaken our soul´s blue print. How derailed have we got in the process? Are we living our soul purpose? Have we got fascinated with glamour and lost sight of what is really important in our lives? Have we bought into what society tells us is right for us and forgot to listen to our intuition? Our past will always condition us to see things a certain way but it is up to us to decide to live in the now moment without being attached to the past and if we are attached to the past, what is the root? What are those attachments telling us about? Are you scared of being successful so you keep sabotaging yourself? Are you scared of standing in your own power because you don´t want to rock the boat? Are you in fear of being authentic because you feel you will be rejected? Eclipses are powerful times for change. They are times when we are able to cut with unhealthy patterns and move into wholeness.

Tomorrow is not the end of this journey though! We still have one more eclipse in the schedule. There will be a Lunar Eclipse in Sagittarius on May 24. This third eclipse is not only an eclipse but also a super moon (when the moon is both at perigee and syzygy intensifying the gravitational pull). This final eclipse is urging us to realize that our perception of reality shapes our lives. It calls for the power of the mind and the power of belief. It is said that the higher mind responds while the lower brain reacts. Lipton said "The simple truth is, when you are frightened, you´re dumber!" It´s time to think with the heart, trust what feels right and keep a beginner´s mind.

These eclipses are giving us a chance to change and grow. They are allowing us to face the demons and grow stronger. They are showing us the path to our soul purpose and shedding those layers that don´t serve us anymore. The question becomes... are you ready to release the past? It´s Eclipse power time!

Many blessing,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

www.circulodeisis.org

Member of the Archdruid Union

https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union

Founder of Tienda Roja

https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Beauty is in your eyes!

What is beauty? How do you define beauty? For the past few days, we have been discussing topics related to beauty in one of my groups, a virtual red tent for Spanish speaking women. In that group, we talked about body image, weight, clothing, perceptions, image projected by society onto women in magazines, advertisements and tv commercials. 

When did the scale become our enemy? Why is it that the number on that machine tell us if we are beautiful or worth loving? I know I was a slave of the scale for a very long time and every morning I would get on the scale and the number that was reflected there would make my day happy or sad. I would measure myself weekly to make sure I would not put inches around my waist... At that time I was living in Buenos Aires and we measure in centimeters so my goal was always to be 90-60-90. I was able to maintain those measures and a weight of 125 pounds for many years. During those years, I was a slave of my diet too feeling I could never eat what I wanted or if I did, I would have to work out or find other ways to make sure I would not put on weight. Obsessed with my body image, I became anorexic. I do believe once you have an eating disorder, your life is never the same. Even when you recover and get better, there is always the little voice in your head that says you shouldn´t eat that, you will get fat.... you name it. I have called that voice Juana and now I have control over her telling Juana that she is not right when she says that I look fat or my hair is a disaster or any other negative comment that she would make. 

I will always remember what one of my friends told me when I was moving to the States over 10 years ago, she said "Make sure you don´t get fat! The USA has foods that are enriched and high calories and if you are not careful, you will put on weight." She must have had a crystal ball or casted a spell on me because I move from my 125 pounds to over 180 pounds very quickly... The interesting thing was that even though I was heavier, I would look at myself in the mirror and be happy with my image. I learned to love my curves and my Latina body. I learned to accept myself even when the scale would scream I was fat... not to mention the freaking medical charts saying I was morbidly obese. I learned to tune out those distractions and be comfortable with who I am and my body image. There is a saying in English that says "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" and as long as I see myself beautiful, there is nobody else that can tell me otherwise. The problem we, women, have is that we are our worst enemy at times and we judge and criticize ourselves more than any other person would. If we learn to be more accepting of ourselves instead of chewing ourselves alive, we would live happier lives. It is true that we are bombarded with several messages that say you have to be a certain weight to be beautiful, you have to have a certain hair color or have a certain skin. If you open a magazine for women, you will be flooded with pictures of unrealistic beauty that is nothing more than an example of what we should strive for if we follow society´s definition of beauty. A society that is patriarchal and it´s meant to keep women distracted and away from their own power. Imagine a world where women love themselves as they are, accept themselves as they are. Women would stand in their own power and be able to manifest much more than what we are today since we are more concerned about dieting and feeling beautiful than manifesting our dreams. We would move from feeling that something is missing from us to feel that we are perfect just the way we are and be able to focus our energy on our visions for the world.

A few weeks ago, we were talking with my teacher and mentor, Ava Park, about the difference between self-improvement and self-acceptance. She and I agree that we should move to self-acceptance instead of self-improvement as self-improvement has the core meaning that there is something wrong with us and we need to fix it while self-acceptance says we are perfect just as we are, perfect in our imperfection. There is always a message saying that we are not good enough, beautiful enough, successful enough... you name it. The challenge is to be able to move pass those feelings and messages and accept ourselves as we are, perfect in the now moment, sacred and beautiful, shinning with our Goddess within. 

Start today! Shine your light and beauty! Stand in your power! Beauty is in your eyes!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina 

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

www.circulodeisis.org

Member of the Archdruid Union

https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union

Founder of Tienda Roja

https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/