Saturday, May 4, 2013

Beauty is in your eyes!

What is beauty? How do you define beauty? For the past few days, we have been discussing topics related to beauty in one of my groups, a virtual red tent for Spanish speaking women. In that group, we talked about body image, weight, clothing, perceptions, image projected by society onto women in magazines, advertisements and tv commercials. 

When did the scale become our enemy? Why is it that the number on that machine tell us if we are beautiful or worth loving? I know I was a slave of the scale for a very long time and every morning I would get on the scale and the number that was reflected there would make my day happy or sad. I would measure myself weekly to make sure I would not put inches around my waist... At that time I was living in Buenos Aires and we measure in centimeters so my goal was always to be 90-60-90. I was able to maintain those measures and a weight of 125 pounds for many years. During those years, I was a slave of my diet too feeling I could never eat what I wanted or if I did, I would have to work out or find other ways to make sure I would not put on weight. Obsessed with my body image, I became anorexic. I do believe once you have an eating disorder, your life is never the same. Even when you recover and get better, there is always the little voice in your head that says you shouldn´t eat that, you will get fat.... you name it. I have called that voice Juana and now I have control over her telling Juana that she is not right when she says that I look fat or my hair is a disaster or any other negative comment that she would make. 

I will always remember what one of my friends told me when I was moving to the States over 10 years ago, she said "Make sure you don´t get fat! The USA has foods that are enriched and high calories and if you are not careful, you will put on weight." She must have had a crystal ball or casted a spell on me because I move from my 125 pounds to over 180 pounds very quickly... The interesting thing was that even though I was heavier, I would look at myself in the mirror and be happy with my image. I learned to love my curves and my Latina body. I learned to accept myself even when the scale would scream I was fat... not to mention the freaking medical charts saying I was morbidly obese. I learned to tune out those distractions and be comfortable with who I am and my body image. There is a saying in English that says "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" and as long as I see myself beautiful, there is nobody else that can tell me otherwise. The problem we, women, have is that we are our worst enemy at times and we judge and criticize ourselves more than any other person would. If we learn to be more accepting of ourselves instead of chewing ourselves alive, we would live happier lives. It is true that we are bombarded with several messages that say you have to be a certain weight to be beautiful, you have to have a certain hair color or have a certain skin. If you open a magazine for women, you will be flooded with pictures of unrealistic beauty that is nothing more than an example of what we should strive for if we follow society´s definition of beauty. A society that is patriarchal and it´s meant to keep women distracted and away from their own power. Imagine a world where women love themselves as they are, accept themselves as they are. Women would stand in their own power and be able to manifest much more than what we are today since we are more concerned about dieting and feeling beautiful than manifesting our dreams. We would move from feeling that something is missing from us to feel that we are perfect just the way we are and be able to focus our energy on our visions for the world.

A few weeks ago, we were talking with my teacher and mentor, Ava Park, about the difference between self-improvement and self-acceptance. She and I agree that we should move to self-acceptance instead of self-improvement as self-improvement has the core meaning that there is something wrong with us and we need to fix it while self-acceptance says we are perfect just as we are, perfect in our imperfection. There is always a message saying that we are not good enough, beautiful enough, successful enough... you name it. The challenge is to be able to move pass those feelings and messages and accept ourselves as we are, perfect in the now moment, sacred and beautiful, shinning with our Goddess within. 

Start today! Shine your light and beauty! Stand in your power! Beauty is in your eyes!

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina 
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
Member of the Archdruid Union
Founder of Tienda Roja

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