Birth - Life - Death - Compost - Rebirth

What a year it has been!!!! Looking back at the journey from my birthday last year to my coming birthday next Sunday, it seems almost unreal who I was and who I am now. A few months ago, I was talking to my friend Yeshe Rabbit and she said something that really stuck with me. She said we usually focus on birth-life-death-rebirth but we are missing one part in that equation, we are missing de compost part!

I believe last year has been my death and compost year. So many people have left my life, some have transitioned to the other world and others just left or been asked to leave. There have been moments when I felt lonely and wonder why they left but as the death card in the Avalon oracle deck says "Rejoice, for that which dies fertilizes and fortifies the new. Endings always point to fresh new beginnings."

Today, I find myself single after being married for 10 years, back to my maiden name and knowing that will not change again, not even if I get married again. I have a new group of friends and I believe those who are vibrating at the same level as I am are the ones that have remained by my side and the rest has fallen away. The landscape of my life has changed even though I live in the same place I used to live before but I have made it my own. I worked at the same place I worked before but I have a new title. I am still the Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis but my role as a Priestess is expanding and growing.

Still the same but yet different because I am not holding to those crutches that were keeping me together when I believed I couldn´t walk on my own. Now I realize I am strong alone and when I have people around me, it is because they are mutual and reciprocal. They are not trying just to take from me because I am not just an overgiving mother to everyone, I am also a maiden, a queen and a wise woman, I am a whole woman and I have learned that it is better to be alone than have bad company. And by bad company, I mean those who make you feel lonely even when you are with them.

I know I´ve been composting for the past few months, dealing with a lot of grieving with several people passing including my spiritual mother, my auntie who was like my mother when I was a child and my grandma. I also grieved the broken dreams, the death of relationships that meant so much to me in the past but they no longer had a space in my life. Nothing is constant but change and change brings transformation and as we transform some people are meant to remain by your side while others don´t. I am grateful for the birth, life, and death... I am definitely composting and I am getting ready for rebirth! 36 will be my year!!! It adds to 9 which is  a magic number.

Many blessings,

Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Past - Present - Future.... Infinite Possibilities

Journeys...... I still remember the first time I found myself in my car driving to Isis Oasis to be part of the Sunday Scrolls... It was several years ago when I was training to become a Priestess and I heard of this beautiful Oasis filled with Isis energy that Lady Loreon Vigne created for all of us to enjoy. When I heard of such a place, I knew I had to go visit it so I told my witchy friend if she was up for the ride and she said yes! Little did I know that would be the first of many trips to come!

A few years later I found myself making the same journey with my father when I was to attend my first convocation ever and be honored by Lady Olivia Robertson for the creation of Circulo de Isis and the project to translate the Fellowship of Isis Liturgy to Spanish. I see Isis as the Lady of Synchronicity and it was no mistake I chose to take my father in this journey instead of my ex-husband. Somehow, every time I find myself on the way to the Oasis I am doing the journey as a Maiden Queen, complete in myself and my father, Mr. Amor, was the one man selected to join me in my journey as I felt he would benefit from the Temple energy as much as I did. We did two journeys together to the Oasis and I am so grateful he got to meet both Lady Loreon and Lady Olivia. I know he doesn´t understand what I do as a Priestess but I also know he respects it greatly and has built some altars in his house for some of the Goddesses I worship in my own Temple home. If you know my real hair color,  you know I am blonde and my dying the hair black has been a big challenge to most of my family - yes, Grandma Lidia!!!!! I feel you angry about the black hair - stop haunting me for that and the fact I wear no make up!!!! But my father... after being in Isis Oasis twice and experiencing the magick of that place, has been telling my family... "She has black hair because she is a Priestess of Isis and Isis has black hair, don´t you see it?" He has made me smile more than once with that comment!

Last Friday, I found myself in my car driving to Isis Oasis to be part of the Inner Sanctum Symposium of Infinite Possibilities. I was physically alone in the car but I knew many of my ancestors were with me. I could feel Lady Loreon and Lady Olivia in the back of the car along with my mom, my grandmothers and my aunt. We were having a girls party there with the music!! Until I got to a part of the journey where I could see the smoke in the front... There was a fire but I couldn´t tell whether it was a building or a car burning, I started thinking what if a car exploded.... a million of what if´s came to my mind but I managed to stay calm and asked my guides to clear the way for me. Traffic was quite horrible but there is a reason for everything and during that time I just did traffic and surrender the need to control the situation and allow myself the freedom of getting there when the time was right in perfect Isis time.

I arrived at the Oasis close to 6 pm just in time for dinner to find out that I had to come to dinner as my favorite Goddess. The Planning Queen was not prepared and hell did not break lose, I just kept myself in the present time and created a perfect Sekhmet outfit in the spur of the moment... yes! I can create in the spur of the moment and surrender to no plans! Needless to say, when I got to dinner I sat with a Sekhmet sister without even knowing she was coming as the same Goddess as I was coming! That energy definitely calls and we were vibrating at the same energy. When Rain explained our name tags and she mentioned that on the back of the name tag we had a message and that people could approach us to ask what our message was I found my message was "My message is Strength, I am the embodiment of this gift and I give this gift to others with the blessings of Sekhmet." Coincidence?!?! I don´t think so! Isis, Lady of Synchronicity, was at work again making sure everything was just perfect even when I had not planned it. 

On Saturday morning I found out that the words I had planned to say during Lady Loreon´s memorial ritual were not correct.... somehow I had not understand the instructions so I had to come up with new words in the spur of the moment! Are you seeing the pattern?!?! Spur of the moment things!!!!! But as Ava Park has said to me, the Queen plans but she is always open and flexible to adapt to the energies of the environment!

My role in the memorial ritual was the one of representing the Goddess Wadjet, the serpent Goddess! If you know me, you know I am very respectful of reptiles and I keep myself far far away from them! During Saturday, I had plenty of possibilities to be around snakes! Yes, there was one wanting to crowl on me during one of the workshops and I was like... don´t let it get to me! Thank Goddess, no snake crawled on me but I was in high alert for sure! I felt Lady Olivia and Lady Loreon laughing at the contradiction of me being Wadjet but scared of the snakes around me. 

I finally came up with the best Wadjet outfit I could come up with  two hours before the ritual... yes! I am such a non-theatrical Priestess that was hard for me to bring Wadjet energy in a theatrical way! I don´t make up, I don´t dress up... it´s just me! Simple me! Although I could not conjure Egyptian eyes, I was able to bring the Lady of the Serpents out!!! The ritual was a success! I was the only Goddess coming along without a partner but Ra needed the night off and the Goddess can hold it for both of us :) I also felt it was appropriate for me to walk alone and Isis was, once again, playing a big part on the teachings for this weekend. 

We had ice-cream and wine in the pavilion  and felt like home! I think we all needed some comfort food and great company to end a night of feeling that our elder was not there in physical form anymore but she was 100% in spirit! I felt her a couple of times!!!

Sunday came in no time and I had to get ready for my presentation. As I prepared myself to my talk, I felt a little anxious but as my best friend said... I was alive.... If I don´t feel nervous I would be dead. It was my first time speaking at Isis Oasis and I felt quite anxious. I was also stressed about my topic being too feminine and having men in the audience. In the end, it all worked perfectly and even some of the men were running wild saying I am a "Maiden". It was nice to see everything worked out nicely and I could feel all my ancestresses smiling at me because I had made it through.

As I drove back to my home Temple, I reflected back on the past as the first time I went to Isis Oasis and the present time of being a presenter. I also saw a bright future and Lady Loreon Vigne´s legacy continuing in all the Priestesses and Priests that were present in that day and the more ones to come. Isis will bring us together and there are infitine possibilities to bring the Goddess back into our lives.

Many blessings,

Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

The Spider

What would you say if I tell you I have a black widow living with me in my patio? Some friends said I am crazy and I should kill her while others say I should charge her rent! This lady spider appeared in my patio a few weeks ago and decided to take over the east corner.

First I saw the web because it was surrounding the water faucet for the patio so I cleaned it to get water for my plants... then one night when it was warm I was sitting in the patio and as it got dark I decided to turn on the light and there it was. Itsy bitsy Black Widow Spider hanging from her web! This is not my first encounter with a black widow but I did not feel like I could kill it since she was quietly sitting on her web and she was outside the house in the patio. In the past, my father told me that spiders were protectors and with their webs they protect us from harm. Thinking of him and the fact that Lady Black Widow had decided to cast her web in the east corner I felt some magic was around! 

Unfortunately, Itsy did not prevent the robbers from stealing my bike from the patio as it happened during daytime and she is nowhere to be found at that time but when the sun goes down and the dark sets in, she comes out and creates her magickal web in my patio. Webs symbolize connections and are also associated with The Fates who are always weaving our destinies - past, present and future. Having her in the corner of new beginnings made me think that it´s time to heal the past and focus on the now moment instead of stressing about the future. Being a Virgo, I am usually the one that has many plans for the future and at times I get lost in those plans forgetting to be flexible and adapt to changes.

Black Widows are well known for eating their mates as well as for being very shy spiders. I have to say I did not eat my ex-husband, he chose  to disappear on his own but I am a very shy person and as I face new beginnings in my life, I do it in a timid way and I am very cautious so I can see why I would have no other than a Black Widow in my patio. Spiders are strong and delicate at the same time and I can see at times I look very strong from the outside but when you look deep inside I am quite delicate and vulnerable even though that´s not the image I project to the outside world.

This spider is also teaching me the power of tenacity and the fact that no matter what happens, you can keep going and rebuild. As I mentioned before, she decided to build her web in the water faucet area so I had to clean her web many times as I use the water faucet and every time I cleared it, she comes back that night and starts rebuilding again. No judgement, no crying, no feeling the universe is against her. She just accepts what is and starts to build again. Looking back at the past 6 months since I came back from Argentina, I can see that several times I have felt like everything has collapse and I am living in a perpetual Tower of change but as Itsy is teaching me, I am also given the tool to rebuild my life the way I want it. Why cry for what could have been or was? Why worry about the future? It is what it is and all we can do is get ourselves to work in the now moment so we create a better now moment tomorrow. 

The Divine sends us teachers when we are ready. As a Druid, I see the connections and I pay attention to all dimensions - human, animal, insects, birds, fairies... and all the beings from the multi-universe. I am grafeful for this spider as she teaches me a lot about myself as well as shows me with actions that we are the weavers, we are the web. We are the future, we are the ones that can manifest our own destiny. It may not be with bold moves ,but with perseverance and tenacity, we can create the web of our dreams.

Many blessings,

Carolina Amalia Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

2014 Half Point - do you need to adjust the course?

June is here! We have reached the mid-point! What have you accomplished since January 1, 2014? Are you manifesting your goals? Do you feel that continuing this way will get you to your goal by year end? The time to change course is now! You still have half a year to go, modify your direction to hit home. 

It´s interesting to see that we reach mid-year and we have a few planets going retrograde or about to do so. When planets turn retrograde, they ask us to review, redo, rearrange, reconsider and all those other re- you can come up with. We have been dealing with Pluto Retro since April 13 and it will go direct after September 21. Pluto is transiting the sign of Capricorn (the sign rule by Saturn) asking us to review our structures and let go of those that are outdates and have no purpose anymore. Coincidentally Saturn is Retro in Pluto´s sign - Scorpio. This rulership opposition is making us feel a lot of tension because we are trying to place structure in our deep self but at the same time we are asked to let go of all those foundations we built before so we can move to the next level. Neptune will turn retrograde in Piscis on June 9. Neptune is the ruler of Piscis so this planet´s need to spend more time in that sign is a call for us to surrender and to flow. With the continuos pressure of Saturn and Pluto in each other´s sign, we need Neptune to help us ease the pressure and shows us the way so we do not self-destruct but instead we find the way to our new vision of life. 

Mercury will be turning Retro this Saturday, June 7, in the sign of Cancer. As I mentioned in previous blogs, when this planet turns retro you can expect miscommunications, problems with transportation, with computers, with communications and in the sign of Cancer, I would say expect issues at home - the sink breaks down, the cooker does not work anymore, the fridge goes out... the list goes on. 

Fear not my friends! Retrograde planets are a blessing in disguise because at times we become complacent and start taking things for granted so there comes the wake up call that says "Hey! Are you sure this is what you want in your life?" and you are given another chance to re-evaluate and re-adjust the course so you reach your destination and not get lost in the woods of life.

Talking about getting lost in the woods of life... today a cockroach got lost in my palace.... yes, you heard it right. It was the first time in 11 years that I saw a flying cockroach in California. I used to see them all the time when I lived in Buenos Aires but never had any issues here. If you know me, you know I have cockroach phobia! I can´t even get close to them as I have a mix of fear and repulsion that paralyzes me. When I saw this little fellow borderline dead in my home, I was shocked. I couldn´t help but think... "Wow what is this sign about? a cockroach in the house..... I thought I had cleaned up my life!" I was about to leave it where it was sitting but then I decided to get all my strength and courage and swept it away. Yes, I got my magickal broom and I swept the cockroach out of my house and as it left, I said "You are not welcome here anymore, don´t come back."After this episode I was proud because I had dealt with the issue by myself and also because it felt like powerful magick was taking place. I was telling the universe I don´t want any more cockroaches in my life, there is no space for them so keep them away. 

The cockroach incident made me think that it is time to look inside the closets of my life one more time to make sure that everything is in alignment with my purpose in life. At times, there may be sneaky things that get in the way but we are half way through 2014 and self assessment is due! Don´t let distractions take you away from your destination! Are you happy with the results you are seeing? If yes, keep going. If not, maybe it´s time to adjust the course because if you always do what you´ve always done, you will continue getting what you´ve always got, it´s that simple. You want something different then do something different. Change starts with you! Take the driver seat of your life today and make sure your internal GPS is set to your destination!

Many blessings,

Carolina Amalia Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

The Forgotten Trail

Yesterday I was hiking with a friend when we noticed the name of the trail we were walking on... The Forgotten Trail. When I saw this name I couldn´t help but think how appropriate as there are so many times in life when we walk the same trail but we have forgotten all about it. The terrain feels familiar, the situations resonate but we can´t seem to figure out where the feelings are coming from.

How many times have you been in a situation and felt like you are in a deja vu moment? You start experiencing the same feelings you felt before, the same reactions, the same emotions. This is a sign that the lesson may not have been learned or that you have forgotten that trail. Sometimes we learn the lessons but as time passes we forget and we need to be reminded that we do not want to be in that trail again as you know the destination and it´s not a place you want to be at.

During this year, I´ve been faced with many times where I was like... Wasn´t I here 12 years ago? Didn´t I experience this last year? Wasn´t I in the same situation 7 years ago? Some situations have a tendency to repeat themselves with different people and different places but sometimes they happen with the same person and then you wonder how many chances can I give this person to show me that this is who they are and that is not in alignment with who I am. One strike... two strikes... three strikes??? Actions speak more than words and when you are aware and awake you can see the connections and the repetitions, you can see the correlations and then decide if you want to continue playing that game or it´s time to do a check mate and move on. 

When we are faced with a situation repeating itself with the same person, you have to ask yourself whether you are trying to change that person or whether you can accept them like they are or whether they need to be out of your life. If you are trying to change them, you should just walk away as nobody changes for another person, just they do it for themselves and you will be waiting forever trying to get an apple out of an orange tree. If you can accept them as they are, just loved them and accept them and try to figure out why certain behaviors trigger you so you can work on them. Some people are in our lives to trigger transformation for us and their pushing our buttons is just another way the Universe sends us helpers to move us along our journey. You can also try to accept them as they are but realized that the behaviors are in total opposition of who you are and therefore the time has come to let that person go. 

As you walk in the journey of life, you will find new trails, you will rediscover other trails, and every now and then you may find the forgotten trail. When that happens, bless it and thank it for the lessons in the past but remember you don´t need to walk it once again.

Many blessings,

Carolina Amalia Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Forever Grateful

Time flies!! Today I celebrate my 11 year anniversary of moving to the USA. I still remember how nervous I was when I was going to the US Embassy for my interview to grant me a conditional green card to come over to this country. I had to face that interview all by myself because my ex-husband had to come back after we got married to work and couldn´t go back to Argentina for the interview. I had jumped all the hoops and felt so powerless against all the bureaucracy but this man who was interviewing me made me feel like home. He spoke Spanish and I spoke English. We both show respect to each other and he understood how stressful the whole process was. I was told my papers would be ready in three days so I bought my ticket and even though at that time I was suffering from pneumonia and the doctor said I should not travel, I still got on that plane with my magic envelope (yes, remember the magic envelope I mentioned a few blogs ago, the one that took me straight to the immigrations office when I landed in Miami to have my fingerprints done and legally enter the USA).

There was nothing that would stop me from coming to this country. I was sure I wanted to live here and the power of love was moving me as I had only spent two weeks with my new husband and we had been separated for a couple of months while the paperwork was being processed. Young love moves mountains!

Looking back, it was not an easy road! I had to work in the Dollar Tree to make a living even thought I spoke two languages, had a college degree and I was more than capable. Then I spent two years working in the daycare facility of a popular hotel here in California because I felt comfortable around children who would not judge my accent or my shyness. I went from job to job until I found the one I am currently on. I went to university here to earn yet another degree to be able to have better chances in this country. As I said, it was not an easy road but each challenge presented opportunities to grow and learn new things. It´s easier to survive when you know you have your family by your side and if something goes wrong, you can run to your parents home and be safe. It´s also easier when you are in familiar territory and the traditions and culture are the same. People may not understand you. You may feel lonely and homesick. You may miss the food, the language, the people but in the end you get used to it. Once you get there, you start seeing the beauty of this world where there are opportunities for those who work hard and it is definitely the land of the free.

Today, I find myself in my own home looking at all I have accomplished in these 11 years. How much different I am from that girl that landed in Miami scared but filled with hope for a brighter future with the man she loved. Today, I can say I am grateful for the journey and there would be nothing I would change or do differently because each and every experience has made me who I am today.  I am forever grateful to my ex-husband for bringing me to this country and showing me a country that I learned to love and today I call my home. Last year, I was faced with the choice of staying or going back to Argentina, and I chose to stay in this land. I am a citizen of the world like my father. Today my home is California, tomorrow who knows. All I know is that I am forever grateful for having the opportunity to live in California and I am looking forward to the lessons the years to come will bring. I am blessed!

Many blessings,

Carolina Amalia Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Tsunami - Ready for the big wave?

Pressure building! The tectonic plates of our foundations are shaking! Are you ready to ride the big wave of this year? What things have you been holding to in your life even though you know they don´t serve a purpose anymore? Are you attached to things that are not good for you for fear of the unknown? What are you trying to resuscitate even though you know it is a DNR type of relationship or situation?

As the Moon drives the tides, we are being driven by the energies that are transiting the skies at this time. Mars is calling us to re-evaluate how we face assertiveness and how we engage in our battles. It´s also calling for diplomacy as it is transiting Libra but is being politically correct the right choice at this time? Sometimes you have to be cruel to show you love deeply.   

Saturn is stationed retrograde in Scorpio since March 2 asking us to really look deep into the core structures in our lives. Scorpio is associated with death, taxes and the underworld. Saturn is connected to our structures and how we build our foundations. Sometimes you have to demolish in order to be able to build again. It´s time to look at the skeletons in the closet, bury them and let them go because they don´t serve you anymore so when we rebuild our foundations, we do it on firm and solid ground.

Uranus is transiting Aries at this time fueling Mars in Libra because fire and air only build a bigger fire. Uranus is the planet of fast resolution. It is associated with the Tower card in the Tarot and the energy that this planet has is very electric. When we experience its energy, we usually end up in a state of shock because things have moved very quickly and changed almost over night. Uranus is the pioneer and the one that helps us think outside the box. While transiting Aries, Uranus asks us to take the lead in thinking differently. How can we look at different situations and find a better way? Can we take a different approach? 

Pluto is transiting Capricorn at this time and it´s connecting with Saturn and helping us let go of some of those structures that we have built in the past but are no longer needed. Pluto is the ruler of Scorpio and Saturn the ruler of Capricorn so it brings a stronger connection as Saturn is transiting Pluto´s sign and viceversa. Another connection here is that Pluto will turn retrograde on April 14 just before a Lunar Eclipse in Libra on April 15 putting emphasis in the current theme of change and transformation, of letting go and moving on to the next phase in our lives. Pluto is associated with the Death card in the Tarot and it usually brings change in a slower pace than Uranus. Change is change no matter how but when Pluto is involved, there is more pain and grief than a state of shock. 

These four planets are dancing in the skies forming a grand cross during this month. This planetary aspect is pressing us to make decisions, to evaluate, to think differently, and to demolish old structures so newer ones can take place. We can not continue functioning the way we used to in the past. Many of our foundations are shaking these days and we are being pushed to break some of them in order to transcend to the next level. After the earthquake comes the tsunami. April is the month of the big wave that will wash away anything and everything that is not rooted on solid ground. Use this month to look within, to ask yourself the hard questions, and step forward without looking back. 

Are you ready for the big wave? You can choose to ignore it, swim against it or just ride it so it can take you to your destination - a new you! Don´t fear! Just trust! There is a rainbow on the other side.

Many blessings,

Carolina Amalia Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/