Today I finished reading the book "Extreme Self Care by Cheryl Richardson" for the second time! Yes... second time :) I decided to pick it up again when I broke my foot because I felt it was the perfect book for the time being. A book that describes techniques to take care of ourselves and make sure that we put ourselves first so we can be strong, healthy and whole instead of living from a place of victimhood or martyrdom.
One of the exercises that really called my attention was what Cheryl called "The Absolute No" list. This was a modified version of an exercise from a previous book of hers where she had "The Absolute Yes" list. The absolute no list is the list of things you will not do not even if they pay you a million dollars. What are those things for you? Do you have something that you wouldn´t do for anything in this world? Do you have a person that you would absolutely don´t want to see again in your life? Do you have a thing that you could live without doing for the rest of your life? For me, this exercise made me think of those instances where I say yes to something when I want to say no but I feel guilty or feel like I want acceptance so I say yes. I am implementing the absolute no list for myself because I think it is a good tool to set boundaries and make sure that the things I do in my life are an absolute yes :) It´s funny to think about the word absolute because it has so much energy and such a high load... more after my boss used it to set me up to fail this week... are you absolutely sure....? Well, I will still use it and I will claim the power the word has for myself!
After reading this book, I couldn´t help but think how many times we know what is good for ourselves but we self-sabotage the goodness in life for something or someone else. The other day I was thinking about how my father used to tell me not to relax too much because I am married, not to let myself go physically because my husband may find another woman... well, I don´t agree totally with his way of seeing but I thought about it and it is very true that a woman should not let go of her personal appearance because now she has a man, she should still care for herself the same way she did before because it is about HER, not catching a big fish. It´s about being healthy, feeling good about ourselves and feeling strong as well.
I also thought about the people who usually want to have more friends but appear to be unfriendly to others. They really want to connect but they can not break the barriers that prevent them from achieving their goals. Those barriers may come from the past but they are not able to move past the past time and create a new self that can achieve what they want and crave in life. Why do we self-sabotage ourselves? At times it seems we are our worse enemies and the other day I was listening to a CD on the car, and the person was saying that we will not tolerate any more abuse than what we are ok in abusing ourselves so if you abuse yourself a lot, then you will tolerate others to abuse you to the same degree.... That was such an eye opening phrase!!!!
Extreme self care is a way to prevent abuse to ourselves and from others and in starting to practice it, we can break those patterns that tie us to self-sabotaging our dreams and goals. You can do it. Start today! Create your Absolute No list and always put yourself first. Like in a plane... put your mask first, then help the rest.
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis