"To be a Woman is not to be a Pretend Man"

What a powerful phrase this is! Many times, I see women trying to pretend they are men - eliminating their emotions, forgetting their cycles, not allowing time to rest, running, doing fifty million things at a time, having a job, a home, a family, and many other things and eliminating the time for themselves. Sadly, I have to admit I was one of those women. A few years ago, as I was climbing what I thought was a corporate ladder, I found myself depleted to the point that I ended up in the hospital. Yes, I was attending school, working full time, having a home, a husband, a women's circle and some other things. I was piling things on my schedule as there was not enough time to do everything I wanted to do and work took a prominent place in my life. There were days I was working till 8 PM, times I took work home to do during the weekends until one day my body said... you can not pretend you are a man anymore and work at this pace while doing other things, you will burn out! That was my wake up call. I realized that life was more than a career and that at the end of the day, my career was just one role in my life but it did not mean everything to me.

Realizing that allowed me to bring harmony in my life since I was able to visualize that all my energies were focused in one area on my life and the other areas were not getting enough attention so they were collapsing. I also realized that it was ok to be feminine and that it did not mean I was less than... or not intelligent. There are so many things programmed in our minds about being a woman that I think we have started to believe that we should be like men instead of working on recreating that stigma that women are weak, women are passive, women ... you can fill the blanks.

I think that it is up to us to change these dynamics and define what being a woman really is. Is it having a home and a career? Is it having just a career? Is it just having a baby and being a mother? There is no judgment on the answer as long as you know your choice comes from your heart and not from the programming that society has branded us with where now women are superwomen and can do everything without feeling tired or wanting to give up. Some women are happy being mothers and not having a career, some women love having a career and want no kids, some women want both and as long and there is harmony in how they deal with those roles, they are able to keep their happiness levels high and enjoy life. Don't let others define who you are! Just know that to be a woman is not to be a pretend man.

Blessings )0(

For every "Yes" there must be a corresponding "No"

While reading the book "The Tao of Womanhood" by Diane Dreher, I came across this phrase "For every Yes there must be a corresponding No to keep thinks in harmony." This phrase really resonated with me because as we say yes to something, we are saying no to something else and that keeps everything balanced. For example, today I got home with a horrible mood and I decided to not do anything and just go walk in the park. I felt I needed to get away, enjoy the sun, the fresh air, and just relax. In saying Yes to the walk in the park, I said no to studying Mandarin, laying in bed, spending time with my husband, but I just felt I needed to get out and saying no to all those things brought me back to harmony as I walked in the park and enjoyed watching the ducks, laying on the grass, reading my book, and just listening to my body and my own needs. Sometimes, we get so busy that we forget to listen to ourselves and see what we really need, we start moving through the motions and fulfilling other people's needs and our needs get to the bottom of the list. Today was a perfect example for me since I just came back from work, changed clothes and left again to go to the park. In doing so, I listened to my inner voice saying I needed sun, air and time to relax. I did not listen to my brain saying "why are you going alone? Really, you will go all by yourself.... why would you do that?" The normal chatter that is usually in our minds that is called the monkey mind. That type of mind set that prevents growth and clutters our brain with unnecessary what ifs or gives you negative feedback.

When I came back from my walk I felt refreshed and happy. Listening to my Goddess songs as I walked in nature really did the trick for me. Today, my best friend was joking and told me "you are grounded" and somehow my brain went to the fact that I was definitely not grounded, I felt scattered and all over the place but his comment made me think that I needed to get grounded. That's why spending time in Nature was what I needed today to ground, to let go of all that negativity that has been surrounding me and just be. Doing so much sometimes gets exhausting and depleting and it is up to us to say NO and take time for ourselves.

My husband was complimenting me today on how I was able to take care of my needs and if I needed to be away, I could take care of myself and go. He mentioned how at times he needed the same but for some reason he couldn't make the move. That made me think of all those people who don't make the move. Whether it is something within or something without, they seem to not be able to say Yes to their needs and instead they keep saying No to themselves.

If we keep in mind that for every yes there must be a corresponding no, we will avoid many pains and also be able to choose from a perspective of power and not from a perspective of victimhood where things just happen to us or we have too much to do because we keep saying yes when we want to say no and with every yes we say that we don't mean, there is a corresponding no to ourselves. Take charge today and set your boundaries strong so you don't have to say yes when you mean no.

Blessings )0(

Wake Up!

Once in a Blue Moon, you wake up and you see everything clear. It's like all of the sudden you are really awake and you are waking up from a dream. The dream may have been a good dream or it may have been a nightmare but you know you were asleep, you were not conscious, you are moving through the motions and letting life happen to you. Last Wednesday was that day for me. Somehow, I woke up and I realized that since the beginning of 2011, I have been moving through motions, eating badly, being scattered, not working out, not dedicating time for myself. It's like I started putting everyone else before me and forgetting that I should always put myself first because if I don't do that, nobody will.

Seeing the scale only confirmed that my eating patterns have not been the best and just by looking at the calendar I can see that my work out schedule has been less than normal. This was like a wake up call to me since 2010 was my year of getting healthy and whole and somehow, 2011 brought some self sabotage and getting back to old patterns. This wake up call motivated me to start a nutritional/work out program again and get back on the wagon. Many times, we forget that our bodies are our temples and how we treat our body reflects how we treat ourselves and how we treat others.

The body is only a reflection of what is going on inside and motivated me to think about all those other areas where I was putting other people first and sacrificing myself or just setting my feelings aside. Sometimes, we forget to look within and see where we are getting off center. Our core knows what we need but many times we are too busy to even hear that voice that guides us to get what we need. Some of my relationships have been less than satisfactory and some people who called themselves my friends have made me suffer way too much what makes me evaluate whether they are my friends or not. Sometimes I look at my life and I realize that not many areas bring me joy and this is an opportunity for a change, this brings awareness and the choice to remain the same or change.

Awareness is what I am looking for lately and that's why the body bugg is back in my arm, because it's not about calorie burn or about calories in, it is about having a reminder of putting myself first, choosing my options carefully, and if I start with what I eat and how I treat my body, then the same can reflect in the rest of my life.

Are you sleeping? Are you living life through the motions? I know I was and I am happy I woke up. It's time for you to wake up as well since we only have one life to live and it is pretty short.

Many blessings )0(

The Adjustment Bureau

Free Will vs. the Plan - that's the question! Can we handle free will or do we need our lives to go according to plan? If there is a plan, can we derail and decide what feels right in that moment? After watching the movie The Adjustment Bureau, I couldn't help but think of how events in our lives impact the roads we take. Looking back, when I met my husband, I was engaged with a man who I'd been for over 7 years. We were thinking about getting married and then there was my husband... a derail in the plan. I did not think twice when I bought the tickets to come meet him in person after two months of talking online. I broke my engagement, got my passport and got on a plane for the first time in my life to come meet this man who I've only chatted online and over the phone. Yep! Big derail! I had my life in Buenos Aires, my perfect career, my beautiful apartment, everything that I wanted but I fell for this guy and I was not afraid of leaving everything behind to follow my heart. Was that part of the plan? Was the plan for me to move to California and work in the Dollar Tree for two weeks when I was an educated woman who spoke two languages? Maybe not, but the experience taught me that sometimes we hit the wall, sometimes we face hardship, but in the end, things are ok and everything is part of the story we are creating day by day.

Sometimes I wonder if I had not got married, if I had not moved to California, how would my life be? There are times when I wish I could get a glimpse of how life would be if I had taken the other road. Would I be different now? Maybe. Or maybe I would just be the same and had experienced similar situations in a different place. Like astrology says, if you don't learn the lesson, things repeat themselves in different places, different people, same lesson. Talking about Astrology, that science could be considered by some as "The Plan" because it can predict the situations that can arise, the pressure that can build up, the possibilities, but in the end we can decide... Like Arthur O'Shaughnessy said:

"We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers, 5
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems."

Are you a shaker? Or do you follow the plan? Do you want somebody else to decide for you or are you ready to make your own choices? There is free will but it is up to us to decide how to use it or whether to use it at all. Some people want to go with the flow, make no decisions, let life happen to them. Others prefer to be the dreamers of the dream, the weavers of the web, not let life happen to them. Who are you? Are you driving in the driver's seat in your life or just being a passenger observing what is happening to you? If you are, and you are not happy about it, you can change today. Don't let the Adjustment Bureau decide what life should look for you. Make your own choices, decide today, allow yourself to dream your dream, to live the life you are meant to be and if you have to adjust in the way, be the one making the adjustment.

Blessings )0(

Just Be

"While Eeyore frets,
and Piglet hesitates,
and Rabbit calculates,
and Owl pontificates,
Pooh just is."
(From The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff)

When I read this paragraph, I couldn't help but feel identified with many of those roles. There are times in life when I hesitated, others when I was calculating and strategizing, others when I was fretting. In my world, I always equated being with doing. The more I did, the more I felt I was and there was an underlying feeling that it was never enough. I kept filling my schedule with activities and things to do since in my mind that meant I was amazing. Last year, I started realizing that I wanted to be more like Pooh, just be. I did not want to equate doing with being but start separating the two and knowing that even if I did not do anything, I could just be and that was ok.

The more I read about Tao, the more I realize that this philosophy really talks to me. "Through working in harmony with life's circumstances, Taoist understanding changes what others may perceive as negative into something positive. From the Taoist point of view, sourness and bitterness come from the interfering and unappreciative mind. Life itself, when understood and utilized for what it is, is sweet." (Benjamin Hoff - The Tao of Pooh). Many times we see challenges in a negative light but Tao says that challenges are only opportunities to grow and evolve, to become stronger. If we look at situations with a simple mind and not over analyze them, we can see that each situation, whether positive or challenging, presents a seed of opportunity. Can we take that opportunity and grow in our path? Can we see it as a chance to become more the person we are meant to be instead of what society or the complex mind would let us believe? Part of the teachings of the Tao is to have a simple mind. Our minds usually play tricks on us and they make things seem worse than they really are. We always tend to imagine the worst scenario without realizing that we can make a decision, grow and then become better. Sometimes we need to let go of the mind and just experience, just be. Sit in the present moment and go with the ebb and flow of life. If we learn to trust that every experience is part of our journey and that we are able to stand anything that is put in our path since it is meant to guide us to where we need to go, we can live our lives from a different perspective and not lose our happiness. Happiness is not based on what we have or don't have, it is based on simplicity and just being. Don't let the monkey mind rule your life and rob you of your happiness, choose to let your heart guide you and just be.

Blessings )0(

Prolonging the Agony

When do you say bye? When do you put an end to a situation? How do you decide? Sometimes we hope the universe will make a choice for us because we are to afraid too make a decision. It scares us so much to know how much we can lose but we don't see how much we can gain. Every time a door closes, another one opens and we always need to make space for the new. Sometimes, we think that things will get better or we want to delay the end. Change is always feared. Who knows what will come? It is better bad known that the unknown, who knows what else can happen. Are we ready to settle for a mediocre life just because we are too afraid to make a move.

Today I was reading about the Tao and the following phrase came up ‎"Even if the time and the place are right, we can still miss our chance if we do not notice the moment, if we act inadequately, or if we hamper ourselves with doubts and second thoughts. When life presents an opportunity, we must be ready to seize it without hesitation or inhibition. Position is useless without awareness." (365 Tao). How many opportunities have you seen passed because of hesitation? Do you live from your mind or your heart? Sometimes, everything is ready for us, to have the happy life we deserve but because of other situations, we hesitate and our opportunities passed us by.

Are you delaying a decision and in doing so missing the opportunity to have the life you want to have? In what areas of your life are you prolonging the agony? Delaying the inevitable? Buying time and missing opportunities? Life presents opportunities to us and it is in us to choose what we want, to follow our heart, and to live fully. Last weekend, I almost died at the beach and looking back, I can say I have lived passionately and fully, I have followed my heart every time and not hesitated when the opportunities presented themselves so I would not regret anything. If you were to face the same situation, would you be able to say the same?

Don't delay the end, don't extend your agony, make a decision to live your life fully from the heart today.

Blessings )0(

My Chinese Journey

Every year has a topic. Last year, the topic was health - how to become healthier and whole. I lost weight, ran my first 5K, and dedicated a big portion of my time to work out and become fit. This year, the topic has shifted from health to... YES! You guessed it! Chinese! In January, I decided I wanted to study Mandarin, and since I made that decision, many other things have popped up in my life guiding me in the right direction. It was funny to see how much opposition I faced from others when I made my decision. For example, I went to Barnes and Noble to buy some study cards and the lady at the register looked at me and asked "are you going to China soon?" and I responded "no, just studying Mandarin for fun." She looked at me shocked and said "I would be studying Spanish if I were you" so I responded "I have the Spanish covered, now it is Mandarin time." Some of my friends looked at me surprised and questioned why would I study Mandarin instead of other languages and the truth is, I just like it. I find that language fascinating and filled with meaning. It is amazing to see that Chinese is an ancient language that comes from the times when the Chinese people wrote in turtle shells and use sticks and it is still in use today. I also find it interesting that a symbol can convey meaning and that people in China look at the symbols and understand. When I see that, I can't help but think in other ways that symbols convey meaning such as Tarot or Runes. I've always been fascinated by symbolism so it makes sense I would like a language like Mandarin.

As I study Mandarin, I am also learning about the Chinese culture and traditions. It was interesting to find out that Chinese people use a lunar calendar instead of a solar one and as a Priestess I find that fascinating. I also noticed their traditions are filled with magic such as during the New Year, they eat fish because the word of fish also means good fortune and by eating the fish, they believe they will bring about good fortune for the next year. It seems as the Chinese people have traditions that really tune with me.

I have also started learning about the Tao and Confucian wisdom and came about with these phrases that really hit home with me:

"One who knows does not speak; one who speaks does not know." (Laozi)

"Knowing it is not as good as loving it; loving it is not as good as delighting in it." (Analects)

"Knowledge is to know when you know it and when you don't know it." (Analects)

It is interesting to see how many of the concepts in magic tune with this knowledge since one of the withcraft concepts say "To Know, To Dare, To Will, To Keep Silent" It is important to be humble and know that we are always learning and if we stopped learning and believe we know everything, we just know nothing or we are dead.

Chinese is a very complex language but in that complexity I find beauty, and in that beauty I find another path to Goddess, to serve Her, to commune with her. I know I could have studied Italian or French but I decided to study Chinese because complex does not scare me, roadblocks do not make me afraid, and easy does not do it for me. When people look at me with doubt or think I am strange because I am studying Mandarin, I would say that I have searched in my heart and my fire is burning bright with this language. Sometimes we face opposition and those are the times you need to be honest with yourself and keep truth to your heart.

Blessings )0(