Thursday, June 28, 2012

Deal, Experience and Respond

Intensity is the word that defines my past few weeks. I feel that since I got back to the United States, my work has become a war zone where there are fires, there are bombs, there are so many issues and my boss strives for perfection... and we all know that is not possible because we are human beings, but this whole situation has stressed me out a little. In the personal side, I am also dealing with some battles of my own and some challenges that have presented themselves. What do we do when life pushes us? Do we push back? Do we follow the eye for eye rule? Or do we just flow like water and try to not put any resistance to all those changes that want to manifest and help us grow and evolve?

Last weekend, I started reading the book "The Art of Predictive Astrology - Forecasting Your Life Events by Carol Rushman" and in that book, the author wrote a phrase that really resonated with me. She said "Astrology is the study of how we deal with, experience, and respond to energy. Sometimes we experience the energy as an inner need or desire to make a change, take a chance, or do something new or different- this is stimulated by a conjunction. Sometimes the energy emerges as an obstacle, a blockage, a challenge, or an opportunity - this is demonstrated with a square aspect. With an opposition, it may be a crisis in a relationship or a learning experience through another person."

When I was in in the Emergency Room this morning, all by myself, and the doctor saw my Predictive Astrology book I looked at him and I as like "mmm yes, Astrology, did I know I was going to have a foot fracture for the first time in my life... no" He looked at me and smiled. It was a hard experience to see everyone in the ER looking at me like I was weird because I was alone. Then the lady came and asked me "Did they do the EKG.... Are you having chest pain?" "No" I said, I explained I just had foot pain. She turned around and said... "you gotta be kidding me, foot pain!!!! "She left me there and never came back. Yes, a few years ago I did have the chest pain and chest problems, and I know you will not die from foot fracture but it is still as important. Hospital experiences always make me think a lot. Yesterday, I was healthy, walking, vibrant; today, I am in a boot with crutches and I can not do anything of those things I enjoyed doing - biking, hiking, working out. I need help for many things I usually do on my own and I am feeling weak. Go out to get the mail and I get asked if I need help. I know this is normal and maybe I should be saying yes to everything. My husband does not let me do anything and tells me to rest. If you know me, I am not one who will ask for help. I am not one that receives. I am the superwoman and now I am wearing crutches. I think this is the hardest lesson of all. It is not about work, it is not about intensity, but it is about learning to ask for help and receive help. It is about experiencing the pain and knowing that it´s ok to ask if we need something. It´s about learning that sometimes you can not do everything on your own.

My dad kept telling me there is always a first time to everything and that I should let people help me and not be so stubborn. My best friend told me to rest and relax and that pain will go away. Stubborn, pain, need, stop are all words that come to me when I think of my foot and I look at the future. I will be on this boot for the next five weeks and maybe more, I will need to learn to battle the demons that may come up when I can not work out, when I need to stay in bed, and when I start fearing I will put on weight. This is another experience that I need to have in this very eventful 2012. The adventure continues and it is how we deal, experience and respond that make the difference.

Many blessings,

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

No comments:

Post a Comment