Presumed Innocent

What a week! I was summoned to Jury Duty on Thursday and when I arrived there, I found out that I was chosen for a murder trial. A domestic violence case that ended up with a woman stabbed to death. I was shocked and I knew within myself I could not be a juror in such a case because I am not sure if I could be impartial as well as presumed this person did not kill this young lady until proven guilty beyond the reasonable doubt. Thank Goddess I was dismissed on Friday after two days of jury selection process that left me with a feeling of how the justice system works in this country.

While I was going through the process, I couldn´t help but think how hard it is to start with no preconceptions and assume the person is innocent. Somehow, if something happens in my life, I tend to look at the circumstantial evidence and determine what happened with my own assumptions and intuition. In doing so, I may fail to see the full picture because I don´t know 100% of the facts every time. If a person says one thing and then does another, does this person´s word is less than this person´s actions? If a person does not follow through with what they said they would do, are they still innocent or should they be considered guilty of charge? How many chances you give a person that shows you with actions that they are not walking their talk?

In the book The Four Agreements, one of the agreements is "don´t make assumptions" because assumptions are usually wrong. When we have the facts, it´s still hard not to make assumptions of what is going on and keep the mind open to believe the person is still innocent until proven guilty. I think the jury duty experience made me really think about how at times my judgement may be wrong and how I may begin with the assumption that the person is guilty until proven innocent. This situation may come from disappointments in the past and the inability to trust again due to previous negative experiences. 

Sometimes we need to learn to trust and know that we may not have all the facts to determine whether the person is guilty or innocent and in those cases, we have to give the person the reasonable benefit of the doubt but if they continuously do the same thing again and again, then it comes a time that we have to deem them guilty and move on but before that, it´s important to presume them innocent.

Many Blessings,

Lady Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Rest, Reflect, and Remember

There are times in life when everything seems to go wrong and no matter what part in your life you look at, everything seem off. The Universe has its ways of showing us the way to transformation. The other day,  the new CEO of the company I work for said that one of his mottos was that the only constant in life was change. When I heard that, I couldn´t help but think he was right. If we are not changing and evolving, growing and transforming, we would be stagnant. I would say the only certainties in life are not death and taxes but death and change. 

2013 brought lots of change to my life. I did not get the job I wanted, my grandma passed, Lady Olivia passed, one of my aunties passed, I got divorced and I also got a rude awakening in other relationships in my life. Now, in 2014, I find myself trying to catch my breath and rest. I redecorated my home the way I always wanted and it has become my sanctuary, my place of rest and relaxation. I have also discovered how much of myself I have forgotten in the past 10 years of living in this country. I am definitely reflecting on the past decade and the changes that have taken place and I try to remember the good, the bad and the ugly so I can heal those wounds from the past and not repeat them again.

It´s not surprising that the planetary aspects in the skies are really aligned with the energies I am experiencing. With Venus Retrograde in Capricorn on December 22, we began a process of re-evaluating all the relationships in our lives and how we love ourselves and others. It´s a time to put under the microscopes those relationships that do not serve us anymore and let them go. We are also asked about how we connect with our professions and whether our job is our career or just a job. If it is just a job, then it´s time to find something more connected with our soul purpose and let go of those things that are obsolete for us and do not bring us any joy.

Mercury turned Retrograde in Piscis on February 7 and it will stay retrograde till February 28 leaving it´s shadow period in mid-March. Piscis talks about idealization and sacrifice. Mercury is asking us to ponder in what areas in our lives are we just sacrificing ourselves. It also asks us to re-evaluate why at times we may not trust our intuition when it tries to communicate us messages that are important to us.

Mars will turn Retrograde in Libra on March 1 pushing us to re-evaluate how we deal with anger, conflict and assertiveness. Saturn will also turn Retrograde in March in the sign of Scorpio asking us to rethink how we deal with power, responsibility and intimacy issues.

As you can see, 2014 starts with several planets turning Retrograde so we can take the time and rethink, re-evaluate, re-vision, and re-do many things that have not worked fine in the past, relationships that do not serve us anymore, jobs that are not meant for us, conflict that could have been dealt better with, among other things. 

With a New Moon in Piscis on February 28, we are asked to think where do we need to trust our intuition and take a leap of faith? We are being challenged to empty ourselves of limiting concepts and beliefs, bitterness and resentment, shame, blame and guilt - anything that holds us back in duality and darkness. Like the caterpillar morphing into a butterfly, we are dissolving old patterns so we can transform, transmute and transcend old patterns. 

With 2014 being the year of the horse, we are asked to move forward but before we can do so, we have to rest, reflect and remember so the direction we choose is align with our soul purpose and our mission in life. 

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Self-ish.... Guilty of charge!

What is to be Self-ish? Many people associate the word selfish with the word egocentric but they are two different words and they have two different qualities. Selfish as defined by the American Heritage Desk Dictionary as "Concerned only with oneself." while egocentric is described as "Interested only in one´s own needs or affairs, self centered."

When you get on a plane, the first thing the flight attendant says is to make sure that in the case of an emergency, you need to put your mask first and then help others. In the past, I have helped others first before putting on my air mask and then I was running tired, burned, angry and resented. This year, I decided that it was time for me to start being a little self-ish and putting my mask first. Yes, you read right... I am purposefully choosing to be self-ish as really concerned only with myself because if I am not ok, then nothing will be in my universe. It begins inside and from the inside transpire to the outside touching everyone in multiple ripple effects in several dimensions.

When I was a child, I always put my mother´s needs first as she was sick and needed care. When I moved to the USA, I put my husband´s needs first, then my friends´needs first. There was always somebody that came first and I would push myself to do things that I really did not feel like doing just not to disappoint anyone or cause trouble. Some people called me co-dependent, other did not say anything but they just took what I gave unconditionally until I realize that life is about giving and receiving and if we only give, we will dry out and have no energy to give anymore (Thank you Ava Park for the Queen Teachings!). Relationships are about "mutual and reciprocal care." It is not one way. It is not about one person´s needs being the only needs valid.

Today, I had an eye opening experience after several clarity moments in the past two weeks when a person just picked up a plate and did not even think about picking a plate for me. I was blown away... but then I realiezed how many times I have been treated that way, as my needs don´t exist, as I don´t exist. I am just there to serve, to clean, to mother, to meet others´needs.

Here goes the memo to the world!!!! I am not that one anymore!!!!! As when I came to this country and the lady at the social security office told me "SIGN YOUR NEW NAME, YOU ARE NOT THAT ONE ANYMORE" I am telling the universe today I am not that one anymore. I am the person that puts myself first and makes sure that if I don´t feel like doing something, I don´t do it. If I don´t feel like talking, I don´t talk. If I don´t feel like party, I don´t party. I am just following my internal voice that tells me what I need at the now moment and I go with that. I have already lost a few relationships due to this change but if it is the price I have to pay, let be it! I prefer the people that are around me to accept me as I am and not that are around because of what I do or give to them.

Did you say Self-ish?....... Yes! I am guilty of charge! I am putting my mask first and then the rest. Take it or leave it! Your call! You know what my call is...

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

No Hooks!

Don´t bite the hook!!!! I read that book a few years ago by Pema Chodron and somehow the image of her words have come to life for me since I came back from Buenos Aires. As I got off the plane, I have been faced with many variables that I could not predict. As a Virgo, you may know that I have plan A, plan B, Plan C, and just in case I also have Plan D and E because you never know what the Universe can through to you and you need to be ready! As I face the challenges that life is bringing to me, I do it with effortless motions and I try to not get attached to any particular outcome but trust that everything that happens is for the better and that I will eventually see the blessing in disguise.

The other day I was talking to one of my friends when I found myself saying "I have no hooks... they can toss anything they want at me and it will not stick because there is nothing to grab to." When I read "don´t bite the hook!" I was working on some anger issues and the premise of the book was to eliminate the emotions that cause a person to get upset and react so there are no hooks to grab onto. If there are hooks, people´s words will take you on a trip where if you are triggered you may end up in a turmoil that you did not expect so the best strategy is to have no hooks so nothing can grab onto you.

As I have mentioned in the past, my annual rising sign is Piscis and one of the characteristics Piscis has is the ability to surrender and go with the flow. They don´t get attached to anything but instead they may be floating between the worlds with the good fish and the bad fish swimming together in perfect harmony, shadow and light, accepting what is and letting go of any attachments.

During the first month of this 2014, I have been faced with some situations that would have triggered me. I am pushed with deadlines, people are showing their true colors in my life helping me determine who can stay and who can go in the journey of life. As in the Mission, when the guy is carrying the bad of things going up the mountain and the priest cuts it off and lets it fall in the abyss. I am seeing the bag of my life moving away from me and trust me it is painful but when I am in doubt, I remember how I was 11 years ago when I had to leave everything for a dream, two bags...that´s all I brought to this country and I had no hooks. I had dreams and visions for the future but nothing else was holding me down. Now I am at the same pivotal point in life where everything is resetting and I am beginning again. This time I am older, hope wiser, and as good as a manifestor as I was before so I will make my vision come true.

One thing I am sure, I have no hooks! You can try provoke me, irritate me, or try to get my attention but I will not respond. Not because I don´t care about you, just because nothing sticks. I see reality as it is and I accept it. I go with the flow and in that flow I know what my intuition tells me and what is true for me. I am following my own GPS in life and I am definitely sitting in the driver seat of my life.

No hooks! Just speed!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina A. Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Are your fears running the show?

Are you paralyzed? Do you feel a fear so intense that it is not allowing you to move forward in life? For the past two years, I can say I was there. I would look at my life and I wondered how I got there. I would see all those things that did not make me happy, those things that would drag my energy, relationships that consumed me, lack of decisions that paralyzed me, and a continued sense of putting other people´s needs first and being a victim of self-sacrifice. 

As I looked at all those things, the what if´s of life would come to my head. What if I lose my job? What if I don´t have money? What if I can´t support myself? What if I end up alone? What if my family does not support me? What if? What if? What if? There were zillions of what if´s navigating my mind and running my show. I was so scared that I could only see the bad things happening instead of seeing the potential of new creation and feel that I can trust this universe I am living in and know that everything is part of the grand plan for my next evolution. 

Once I read a book that said F.E.A.R. stands for fantasized events appearing real. When I saw this phrase, I couldn´t help but think how true that statement was. How many times our fears are so big in our heads but once we move pass them, we realized it was not that bad after all. Change generates lots of fear but the only thing that is constant in life is change. If we are not changing and growing, we are dead. Even the rock in the pond changes by the erosion of the water. It´s up to us to decide what will run our show and what fears we allow to be in our minds. Don´t get me wrong, fear is good because it allows us to think things through but when fear is so intense to paralyze us is when things are not ok. 

That´s when you have to ask yourself: Do I live in misery or a half life or do I push through fear and manifest a life it´s worth living for and that when I look back I am proud of all the adventures and all the decisions I made as I walked my path? What do you choose happiness or unhappiness? What do you want for you fear or excitement?

When I was in Argentina, I learned to live in the now moment and not let my fears run the show. If you know me, you know I think million things an hour and my head is always thinking something. I have a very overactive mind! It´s good at times but other times it´s just focus on all the things that can go wrong as I always want to be prepared for whatever I face. I was sitting in my dad´s apartment and I couldn´t help but start thinking "Oh Goddess! When I get back I have to do this and that and that... Oh no... what if I ....." You can imagine all the things that would come to my mind as I face my big life transition but in those moments, I decided to stop and honor that at that time I was on vacation and I was not supposed to be worrying about these other things, I was not supposed to be letting my fears ruin my vacation, I was determined to rest and have a good time. When I get to the point of decision making I would decide, but before that, I would not worry or fear as those energies only bring more of those energies to my life.

Now, as I am in a major overhaul of life, changing my name and rebuilding my home and my life. I know that in my heart of hearts I have peace. I know I did the right thing. I made the right decision for my life and it was worth the birth pains because there was pain, there was fear, but once I moved passed it, now I am shinning with a new light and I am recreating myself in the way I want to be instead of staying in situations that brought me unhappiness or numb feelings just because I was to scared to make a choice. Life is too short and when you want to remember you are gone. The question is have you lived your life fully or have you let your fears run your show?

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina Amalia Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Lighting Strikes

The Tower. If you have ever seen a Tarot deck, you may be familiar with the Tower card. This card symbolizes a 9/11 in life. People jumping off the building, lighting striking and bringing everything down with a powerful hit. Nobody wants to get the Tower in a reading but when you do, you have two choices... embrace it or deny it. I chose to embrace it!

As I mentioned before in my blogs, I knew there was a before and after Buenos Aires 2013 and I was not wrong! When I landed in the USA, my reality was different from what I have left behind two weeks before. My name and status have changed and I was ready to be free. I have also found some blessings in disguise because the Universe opens many doors once you are ready and I know I signed up for all this demolition because it is time to rebuild but before I can rebuild my life, everything has to fall in pieces, burn in ashes and then with crystal clear clarity, I can vision my own reality.

Every step I take towards my vision just brings more strength, more power, more wholeness. I know the Carolina that came back from that trip is not the Carolina that left. I know I was tired, I was burned, I was polluted. Being away from everything helped me see reality as it is and regain the strength to manifest my reality. I am the magician! I am the wheel of fortune!!! I am spinning and I am creating... I am visualizing and I am letting go of everything that is not meant to be there.... This is it! This is the turning point and I am so happy because I feel no fear. I am like the fool! Ready to jump and measure no consequences because I trust. I trust the Universe knows and the Divine has Her plan. 

I´ve been scared for too long and I have wasted too much time. Now I am ready to burst out of the cocoon and face reality. Face my own reality. Deep inside I know I can make my dreams come true! I have signed up for this massive change.... the universe is shooting surprises and all I say is..."I am safe, I am ok, I will manifest my own reality. You can´t shake this lighthouse, no matter how big the wave is... I will stand strong, I will stand tall, and I will be the one standing after all."

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina Amalia Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/

Clarity and Manifestation

We are only 11 days into the new year and it feels it´s been months. The past 10 days have been more productive for me than several months in the past. I feel I left for Argentina on December 14 and when I came back, the world has shifted! I came back to find a court document to start my name change and everything started falling into place and moving at very high speed. When I look back at 2013, I can´t help but wonder why was I stuck so much? Why couldn´t I manifest my reality? Then I realize that I was lacking clarity and I was distracted with too much drama around me. It took for me to be away from everything and everyone to realize what I really wanted in my life and for my future. 

It is hard to get a vision for life when you are engaged with people that take your energy away, people that drag you down, situations and places that only take from you and don´t give you anything in return. In those moments is when you are just in defense mode and it is too hard to visualize a way out. You are just trying to survive, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute. Those are also the times you realize who is really by your side for the long run and who needs to be let go because it´s only taking energy from you and not giving you anything in return. In relationships, I really follow what Ava Park taught me in her Queen Teachings "mutual and reciprocal" motto. Being away has given me some clarity on certain things that I have let be in the past but they will not be accepted or tolerated in this new version of me. Changing my name back to my maiden name is much more than a name, it´s a way for me to tell the world "This is who I´ve always been all along and get ready because I am back. I am stronger than before and as independent and free as I was 11 years ago before I move to this country." It´s time the USA feels the power of the AMOR name. I am really reclaiming my inner self, my roots and what I am made of. I am out of the bog and into the love because as a lighthouse, I am a beacon of love and a guide for all those who really want to find a way to their authentic selves. 

My own authentic self has been hiding in the dark while the person that I was supposed to be to survive and thrive in this new country took place. Now this person is no longer needed because I have realized who I am and I know that is more than enough. I don´t need masks, I don´t need titles, I don´t need hierarchy. I just need to know what I want because once I know that, it manifests at light speed and if it doesn´t, then it is not meant to be and I need to learn to detach from those dreams that are not really what´s best for me. There is my plan and there is the Divine plan. If things don´t fall under the divine plan, then I will find blocks and issues and it will not manifest. If it is part of my plan and the Divine plan, it will manifest as fast as it can. As I said, it only took 10 days for me to change my name once I was back and determined. 

I am a great manifestor. I just need to have clarity and then things flow. 

2014 is the year of Carolina Amalia Amor. A powerful woman that knows what she wants and will create it because if there is clarity, I can definitely manifest it. No more BS and no more distractions! Just clear mind and focus so my life is just a reflection of the vision I have for myself.

What´s your vision? How are you going to manifest it in 2014? What needs to be let go? What needs to remain? What needs to take a different shape? January is the month to set everything in motion and plant the seeds. If you can dream it and think it, you can create it!

Many blessings,

Carolina A. Amor

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis
www.circulodeisis.org
Member of the Archdruid Union
https://sites.google.com/site/fellowshipofisiscentral/fellowship-of-isis-foundation-union-triad---archdruid-union
Founder of Tienda Roja
https://www.facebook.com/groups/441201419296609/