Many times I wonder where the concept of care about everyone else's need before your own comes from. I know people may say you are selfish if you put yourself first, your friends may call you spoiled or egocentric but in reality, if you don't put yourself first, who will? Are we expecting others to fulfill our needs? Are we expecting everyone else to know what we need or want? Unless people around you are mind readers or psychics, there is a high chance that they will not know what you need or want. The only person who knows what you need is yourself and that is why it is important for us to start putting ourselves first. This is the one things that the airline companies got right and the rest of society has wrong. When you get to a plane, the first thing they tell you is that if there is an emergency, you are to put your oxygen mask first and then help others because if you can not breathe, you will not be able to help anyone. The same happens in real life, if you are exhausted and you are doing too many things at the same time, there is a high chance that you will not be taking care of your needs and you may be able to sustain the rhythm for some time but after a while, you will burn out and as I tell some of my friends, what is going to happen with your children if you burn out? If you don't take care of your health and end up in the hospital, who is going to take care of your family? That is why it is so important to put yourself first because by doing so, you will be helping others too because you will know you are not pushing yourself to the limits to the point that you will get sick or depressed. Every week, set up a time to see what is that you need and make it happen. If you want to take 30 minutes and meditate, do that. If you want to watch a movie, do that. Do anything that will help you take care of yourself and your needs or wants. If you expect others to fulfill your needs, you may be disappointed and that disappointed builds up into resentment and resentment builds up into anger and then one day you may blow up or get really depressed. Boundaries are also important and honoring them is important too. Every time we say yes when we mean no we are stepping over our boundaries and in doing so, we are giving others the sign that pushing our boundaries is ok. Every time we put ourselves last in the list, we are also giving the sign to others that it is ok for us to be last, that our needs are not important as their needs. That is why my practice for this week will be thinking twice before I say yes. Am I saying yes because I mean it or because I am feeling pushed or guilty of saying no? Do I really want to say yes? And in doing so, I will be putting myself first and knowing that it is ok for me to be the number one in my list because I deserve to get my needs met and in doing so, I will be a happier person who will be able to give more freely to others because I will be in harmony with myself. Like I said before, this is the one thing the airline companies got right, put your mask first before you help others.
Blessings!!
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