The wheel keeps turning and here we are, back on Samhain, when the veil is at the thinnest and we are able to connect with our ancestors. We are back in the cauldron of transformation initiating our journey within as the days get shorter and darker. It is time to start our descent like Innana and find those parts of ourselves that we want to transmute, let go, and heal so we can be reborn next spring.
When I look back at all the things that have taken place since last Samhain, I have a mixed feeling as it feels like last Samhain was yesterday but at the same time feels so long ago since many things have happened. Last Samhain, I was initiated as a High Priestess and I was lost in what my Priestess purpose would be. I received the initiation but I did not know where I would go from there. My teacher told me just to sit and listen, and that's what I did. By January, I started connecting with the Spanish speaking community and writing rituals in Spanish. In March, Circulo de Isis was born. In May, I started translating the liturgy for the Fellowship of Isis... one thing took me to the next... one step at a time. Three weeks ago, I was blessed by Lady Olivia Robertson on my work with the Spanish speaking community and received the title of Priestess Hierophant and Circulo de Isis became a Lyceum. This time, I know where I am going and what I want to accomplish in the next year; the things that I would like seeing manifested by Samhain next year. With a clear path and clear intent, I know I can make those things happened. As a Priestess Hierophant, I seek to nurture the inner strength of the individual, helping others to find balanced expression of their own uniqueness. In order to achieve this, I need to make sure that I also do my personal work. One thing I like is to lead by example. I couldn't tell somebody to do something if I am not doing it myself. I can not empower women if I am not empowered myself. Being able to see ourselves in the mirror and not deny the areas that we need to work on is part of being a good leader and a good Priestess. Many leaders lose sight of the purpose when they allow themselves to believe that they know everything, when they forget to do their own work and keep the checks and balances to make sure they don't go on an ego trip. We are all human and power can corrupt people. It's easy to fall in the traps of our own ego. That's why it is so important to do our own shadow work, know our weaknesses, know our shadow, because in that shadow is also our power.
Today, when the veil is at the thinnest, I allow myself to sit, listen and see with my heart so I can connect with the women that came before me. Who like me want to see a world that is filled with love, with beauty, with Goddess, with harmony, with equality, with power. A world where we are all equal, where there are not differences. A world where people are respectful, where people don't take anything for granted. A world that accepts all religions and where there is no a struggle for which religion is better or which one is the only one accepted. A world where children can be children and play instead of fighting in a war like in some countries. A world that is not controlled by fear but is empowered so each person can share his or her gifts fully. This is one of my visions. I know it will take a lot of work to make it happen and it is not a one person job, but it all starts with one spark. Let this be the spark that we need to change the course of this world and make it better for our future generations.
Blessings )0(
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
How good can you stand it?
Because that's as good as it gets. This phrase called my attention while doing a reading yesterday because it touches on how our perceptions and our mind images create our reality. How by focusing on the good we can attract more good into our lives but if we choose to focus on the negative, we will only be attracting more negative things to our lives. This is an easy concept to understand if we believe that we are all energy vibrating at a certain intensity and that intensity is what attracts things to our lives. As like attracts like, we keep creating our world. I always remember when Alice said "I create my own path" in the movie Alice in Wonderland because we all have the power to create our own lives and we are responsible for what we create whether we like it or not. That's why it is important to let go of the scarcity mentality that leads us to fight for resources, to fight for a job, to fight for food, we live trapped in the reality that there is not enough for everybody and that's why we need to fight to get what we want. With this mantra in our heads, society controls people because we live in fear and anxiety that we will never have enough, be enough, do enough... the list continues and you can see where I am going. We need to break this pattern and start realizing that Nature is abundant and that if we are respectful of it, we have unlimited resources and there is more than enough for everyone in this world. We live in the age of dominion versus respect. Human beings believe they can dominate Nature, they can control everything. Technology gives them the illusion that they are in control but they don't realize that Nature is much more powerful that any piece of technology you've ever seen. As I was reading the book "Awakening to the Spirit World" by Sandra Ingerman and Hank Wesselman, I noticed that the authors mentioned that Western people have assumed that the Sun will always come out instead of respecting it and honoring it. That's why many traditions salute the Sun in the morning because they show respect to Mother Nature and they do not assume they have dominion over it. As I walk this path as a Priestess, I learn to bless everything that comes my way, good and bad, challenging or easy, everything that comes in contact to me is part of my journey and taking the time to bless the things around us every day creates a sense of gratitude and respect that will in turn create more happiness and joy in your life. Many times we don't take the time to look at the positive things we have such as I am healthy, I have a home, I have a warm bed, I have people who love me, and the list goes on and on. If we would spend more time in gratitude, we would be less focused on stress and anxiety. We could even thank those challenges that we face as they are opportunities for change. Every change, great or small, entails death of that which was before and it creates space for the new. We are dying every day as we change and evolve. Everything is in the state of constant change and the only time that we become stagnant is when we died because energies move and shift, change and transform, die and are reborn.
Since we are always changing, we always have the opportunity to create our own path and paint the picture of what we want reality to look like. We can attract more positive things to our lives by using the tools we all have - gratitude, blessings, and visualization. You can live a great life, full of happiness and joy so How good can you stand it? Because that's as good as it gets.
Blessings )0(
Since we are always changing, we always have the opportunity to create our own path and paint the picture of what we want reality to look like. We can attract more positive things to our lives by using the tools we all have - gratitude, blessings, and visualization. You can live a great life, full of happiness and joy so How good can you stand it? Because that's as good as it gets.
Blessings )0(
Sunday, October 24, 2010
On Rings and Value
About two weeks ago, I decided to take off my wedding ring because it was feeling very tight and as a pair of jeans that you try to fit when you know you have put on weight, I was trying to fit this ring on my finger when it was hurting me. This was the first time in almost eight years that I took this ring off so it felt weird at first. But this strange feeling made me realize how much value we place on material things and how those things have become symbols in our lives. Yesterday, I took the ring to the jewelry store to get fix and it was an interesting experience because I was there alone, my father was waiting outside. The lady behind the desk seemed rude - like I did not have enough money to buy a ring there. As I observed the rings, I couldn't help but notice how much value is placed on these rings, and the question that came to my mind was "even if the ring is $6000, is that my value? Is that the value of the relationship?" I never understood the concept of the diamond ring. In Argentina, we only wear the wedding bands. When we get engaged, both boyfriend and girlfriend wear a wedding band to symbolize the engagement. It's not the girlfriend alone wearing a ring that identifies her as "engaged", both of them wear the same.
As I gathered strength to ask this very unhappy lady whether they fix rings or not, I noticed that she was looking at me like I did not fit in or something. I asked her if they fixed rings and when she said yes, I got my ring out of my bag and handed it to her saying I wanted to make it a size bigger. First, she looked at me and asked "what material is this ring?" Like I handed a sterling silver ring. In my head, I was like... really? Do you need to ask? This is your job and everyone knows that you look inside the ring to see the material since it is branded... I answered the question and then she asked me if I knew what size I needed, and I responded a size bigger. To that response, she looked at me and said... "is this for you?" Like she could not believe I was married or something so I told her that it was for me. As she measured my finger, her energy got better. I couldn't help but noticed she did not have a ring on her finger and I wondered if she would be one of those ladies that places all her value in a ring or a husband and that's why she was so unhappy. To top the whole experience off, she asked me if I knew the value of the ring and at that point, I looked at her and said "I don't, it's been almost eight years and I do not remember the price." As she wrote the number of the piece of paper, I couldn't help but think, "whoa, is that really the price of my marriage? Is that really the value?"
As I was coming off the shop, my dad asked me why I did not wear other rings like the people in this country instead of just wearing the wedding band. This question really called my attention since he is from Argentina but I responded that I was a simple person and I did not care about expensive rings, for me the ring is not important, the relationship is. I could have the most expensive ring in the world and be very unhappy so what would that be worth? When I responded that, he said that I had my great-grandmother's ring, a sapphire ring with diamonds around it. That ring was given to my grandmother by her mother, and then to my mother from my grandmother so it's been in my family for four generations, and what called my attention more was that I am named after my great-grandmother - Amalia and now I have her ring. This was very illuminating for me since this ring has meaning, it is part of my matriarchal blood line and it's been in my family for almost 100 years. Can any other ring equate the value of this one? The answer is no. This ring is priceless and that's the type of ring I would like to wear to symbolize my marriage or any other relationship. A symbol of eternity, of solidity, of union, of love, of family, of blood. We live in a world that values the material things too much forgetting what it is really important. It is our hearts and our capacity to love what gives us value, not the things we wear.
Blessings )0(
As I gathered strength to ask this very unhappy lady whether they fix rings or not, I noticed that she was looking at me like I did not fit in or something. I asked her if they fixed rings and when she said yes, I got my ring out of my bag and handed it to her saying I wanted to make it a size bigger. First, she looked at me and asked "what material is this ring?" Like I handed a sterling silver ring. In my head, I was like... really? Do you need to ask? This is your job and everyone knows that you look inside the ring to see the material since it is branded... I answered the question and then she asked me if I knew what size I needed, and I responded a size bigger. To that response, she looked at me and said... "is this for you?" Like she could not believe I was married or something so I told her that it was for me. As she measured my finger, her energy got better. I couldn't help but noticed she did not have a ring on her finger and I wondered if she would be one of those ladies that places all her value in a ring or a husband and that's why she was so unhappy. To top the whole experience off, she asked me if I knew the value of the ring and at that point, I looked at her and said "I don't, it's been almost eight years and I do not remember the price." As she wrote the number of the piece of paper, I couldn't help but think, "whoa, is that really the price of my marriage? Is that really the value?"
As I was coming off the shop, my dad asked me why I did not wear other rings like the people in this country instead of just wearing the wedding band. This question really called my attention since he is from Argentina but I responded that I was a simple person and I did not care about expensive rings, for me the ring is not important, the relationship is. I could have the most expensive ring in the world and be very unhappy so what would that be worth? When I responded that, he said that I had my great-grandmother's ring, a sapphire ring with diamonds around it. That ring was given to my grandmother by her mother, and then to my mother from my grandmother so it's been in my family for four generations, and what called my attention more was that I am named after my great-grandmother - Amalia and now I have her ring. This was very illuminating for me since this ring has meaning, it is part of my matriarchal blood line and it's been in my family for almost 100 years. Can any other ring equate the value of this one? The answer is no. This ring is priceless and that's the type of ring I would like to wear to symbolize my marriage or any other relationship. A symbol of eternity, of solidity, of union, of love, of family, of blood. We live in a world that values the material things too much forgetting what it is really important. It is our hearts and our capacity to love what gives us value, not the things we wear.
Blessings )0(
Thursday, October 21, 2010
How much is your soul worth?
Today, I was talking to one of my best friends and I was mentioning how some people at my workplace looked so unhappy. They may make the big bucks but is it really worth it? While I was thinking about that, I couldn't help but think... I don't get paid enough to work 24/7 and even if I did... would I do it? Would I sacrifice my personal life for one of my roles? The role that does not fulfill my life purpose but pays for the bills. Yes! You guessed it! The answer is NO! Since I was in the hospital about two years ago, my perspective of life has changed. I have become more aware that I should live each day as the last day of my life, and if I died today, I don't want to regret anything. I don't want to feel like I made lots of money but I did not spend time with my loved ones, or I sacrificed the time with a friend to a work project. Life is too short to spend it in something that does not make you happy, something that does not fill you with joy, something that brings you stress and anxiety. That's why I moved from climbing the ladder to just having a job until I can manifest the work that will allow me to live my life purpose, to bring the gifts I am supposed to bring to this world. In the meantime, my job is just a job and as so, I am not eager to work till 11 PM or to skip my lunch. I am committed to cover my 8 hours and do my best in those 8 hours, but I don't want that role to become the only role in my life and bring unbalance to my life.
Money vs. heart seems to be a fight we all engage in at some point in our lives. It seems that we all reach the point when we are offered to grow in a career, go up the ladder and sacrifice family and friends to money or not have that much but have a more harmonious life. When I think about it, I feel like there is not enough money in the world to pay for a time spent with friends or loved ones, there is no price to those moments. Like a mastercard commercial, those moments are priceless and I would not changed them for anything in this world. The question is "how much is your soul worth?" If you were to die today, would making more money make any difference? Would having a bigger house matter? Would having two cars be important? I don't think so. Material things are that, material things only. Moments spent with loved ones or doing your hearts work is what matters. That's why I ask you to make sure you know how much your soul is worth and whether you are open to sacrifice your happiness for more money... in the end, when you die, your savings account will not be what you will be remembered for.
Blessings )0(
Money vs. heart seems to be a fight we all engage in at some point in our lives. It seems that we all reach the point when we are offered to grow in a career, go up the ladder and sacrifice family and friends to money or not have that much but have a more harmonious life. When I think about it, I feel like there is not enough money in the world to pay for a time spent with friends or loved ones, there is no price to those moments. Like a mastercard commercial, those moments are priceless and I would not changed them for anything in this world. The question is "how much is your soul worth?" If you were to die today, would making more money make any difference? Would having a bigger house matter? Would having two cars be important? I don't think so. Material things are that, material things only. Moments spent with loved ones or doing your hearts work is what matters. That's why I ask you to make sure you know how much your soul is worth and whether you are open to sacrifice your happiness for more money... in the end, when you die, your savings account will not be what you will be remembered for.
Blessings )0(
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Finding Nemo
The day started with me walking on the beach and connecting with Yemaya and her waters. There was a mist in the air as the sun was coming out. I couldn't help but feel the power of the ocean building up the energy and breaking away. Like washing the old and making space for the new, I kept feeling the waves washing my feet. As I was walking, the Goddess made herself present and reminded me that She is always there for me, providing me with the signs and symbols I need along the path so I don't lose track of where I am going, so I don't lose myself in the busyness of life, so I don't shut down myself to my intuition and the power within.
As I was having breakfast with my dad and my husband, my dad said "look! there is a shark in the ocean between those two birds," as I was looking at the area where he was pointing I saw the shape in the distance. It was not a shark at all! It was a dolphin. Never in my life I had seen a dolphin in the ocean but here they were, and there was not only one but three! It was like the triple aspect of the Goddess has come to bless my day since that morning I was meditating by the ocean. The meanings associated with Dolphins are playfulness, being in between the worlds, friendship, harmony, and a message of well being for the good heart person. From all these meanings, the one that resonated more with me was the one of being between the worlds since the ocean sound has transported me to another dimension.
As we were going to the Aquarium, I couldn't help but think how we confused the dolphin with a shark and how in our lives, we have a tendency to see the darkness or be led by fear. While meditating on this fact, I saw a fish tank with Nemo what brought me back to that movie that is also connected to the ocean. I kept thinking about the different characters in the movie such as the father and his fear of the sea, Dori with her short term memory lost, the turtles, the sharks, each character has its own symbolism and can show us how we look at life in different moments in our lives. For example, when we are led by fear and let fear prevent us from doing things we may enjoy, we are living the father archetype of "the ocean is not safe" and we all have heard the phrase "it's not safe out there, it is a jungle, only the strongest survives." All these phrases are usually associated with the power of controlling people through fear.
Sometimes, I wish we were more like Dori and forget things instantaneously so we would not let previous experiences shape us and prevent us from doing things since we would never have fear because fear is based on previous experiences or imaginary things in our heads. There was a person who described FEAR as Fictitious Events Appearing Real.
Then we have the sharks trying to challenge the social image and not eating fish, yes "fish are friends, not food" and when I look at this archetype, I can't help but think about myself since people have a tendency to judge others for the outside or what society says instead of reality. The same thing happened to Marland, being a clown fish, everyone expected him to be funny. This situation happens to me all the time since I don't look like a Latin woman but I was born in Argentina, and I have Latin blood. The other day, I was in the elevator and there was a person trying to speak Spanish. When somebody pointed out to her that I spoke Spanish, she looked at me shocked like "really?" and I responded in my perfect non-American accent Spanish. I find it fascinating how people assume I am American because I am white and have red hair... The same thing happens when I say I am a witch. People tend to think I am too pretty to be a witch, or that all witches are evil. I find it interesting to break those archetypes and be a channel for people to change their mindset or vision.
As I look back at my trip to Monterey, I can see that one of the lessons was to let go of fear and live freely, be playful like the dolphin, be like the turtles in Nemo who were cool and free and let others experiment. Don't set boundaries that are so strong that will prevent you from living fully. Don't allow fear to lead your life. Just go with the flow and make today the best day of the rest of your life. In the end, it is not what we do or our roles that define us, but living a life filled with happiness and love, trying new things, and never being afraid to follow our hearts.
Blessings )0(
As I was having breakfast with my dad and my husband, my dad said "look! there is a shark in the ocean between those two birds," as I was looking at the area where he was pointing I saw the shape in the distance. It was not a shark at all! It was a dolphin. Never in my life I had seen a dolphin in the ocean but here they were, and there was not only one but three! It was like the triple aspect of the Goddess has come to bless my day since that morning I was meditating by the ocean. The meanings associated with Dolphins are playfulness, being in between the worlds, friendship, harmony, and a message of well being for the good heart person. From all these meanings, the one that resonated more with me was the one of being between the worlds since the ocean sound has transported me to another dimension.
As we were going to the Aquarium, I couldn't help but think how we confused the dolphin with a shark and how in our lives, we have a tendency to see the darkness or be led by fear. While meditating on this fact, I saw a fish tank with Nemo what brought me back to that movie that is also connected to the ocean. I kept thinking about the different characters in the movie such as the father and his fear of the sea, Dori with her short term memory lost, the turtles, the sharks, each character has its own symbolism and can show us how we look at life in different moments in our lives. For example, when we are led by fear and let fear prevent us from doing things we may enjoy, we are living the father archetype of "the ocean is not safe" and we all have heard the phrase "it's not safe out there, it is a jungle, only the strongest survives." All these phrases are usually associated with the power of controlling people through fear.
Sometimes, I wish we were more like Dori and forget things instantaneously so we would not let previous experiences shape us and prevent us from doing things since we would never have fear because fear is based on previous experiences or imaginary things in our heads. There was a person who described FEAR as Fictitious Events Appearing Real.
Then we have the sharks trying to challenge the social image and not eating fish, yes "fish are friends, not food" and when I look at this archetype, I can't help but think about myself since people have a tendency to judge others for the outside or what society says instead of reality. The same thing happened to Marland, being a clown fish, everyone expected him to be funny. This situation happens to me all the time since I don't look like a Latin woman but I was born in Argentina, and I have Latin blood. The other day, I was in the elevator and there was a person trying to speak Spanish. When somebody pointed out to her that I spoke Spanish, she looked at me shocked like "really?" and I responded in my perfect non-American accent Spanish. I find it fascinating how people assume I am American because I am white and have red hair... The same thing happens when I say I am a witch. People tend to think I am too pretty to be a witch, or that all witches are evil. I find it interesting to break those archetypes and be a channel for people to change their mindset or vision.
As I look back at my trip to Monterey, I can see that one of the lessons was to let go of fear and live freely, be playful like the dolphin, be like the turtles in Nemo who were cool and free and let others experiment. Don't set boundaries that are so strong that will prevent you from living fully. Don't allow fear to lead your life. Just go with the flow and make today the best day of the rest of your life. In the end, it is not what we do or our roles that define us, but living a life filled with happiness and love, trying new things, and never being afraid to follow our hearts.
Blessings )0(
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Don't Quit
Yesterday, as I was walking in Borders checking out different things, I found a book mark that really spoke to me. This book mark had a poem from Jill Wolf:
"Don't quit when the tide is lowest, for it's just about to turn.
Don't quit over doubts and questions, for there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest, for it's just a while 'till dawn.
Don't quit when you've run the farthest, for the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest, for your goal is almost nigh.
Don't quit, for you're not a failure until you fail to try."
During the past week, I was reaching a breaking point in several areas of my life but the one that was more prominent was work. There are times when I wonder why I am still there, why I put myself in the position of feeling like I am a failure because my boss makes me feel I am not good enough. Then I realize that in doing so, I am giving my power away and that she should not have that kind of power over me. I always try to remind myself that I am doing my best with the tools I am provided and if I fail due to the lack of direction, it is not my fault after all. It's hard to be in a position where you never know what is going to happen next and the way you learn is by making mistakes and trying not to make another mistake again. There are positions that allow you to be self sufficient but there are others that require direction. My current job falls under the second category and direction is what I am lacking. As I woke up this morning after dreaming of being lost in a school, trying to find my way, trying to decide what to do next, I couldn't help but realize that I am in the mists again. I am in the process of searching what is the next step when it comes to career. Do I choose what makes me happy and sacrifice some income? Do I choose what gives me money and continue being unhappy? I am at the crossroads and I am faced with different options, but the question is what option is the best for me, what option leads me to my life purpose and to bring into this world the gifts I am meant to bring.
When I saw the book mark with the words "Don't Quit" on it I saw a sign. The sign was telling me that even though I am facing the roadblocks and I am being pushed to the extremes, in the end, there is a lesson to be learned and I just need to stick with it and try to figure out the best route. If everything was easy, I would not learn anything. It is in the hardships where we learn how strong we are. Problems are just opportunities in disguise to get to know how powerful we are. So when you think you had enough and can not take it anymore, just think again and don't quit.
Blessings )0(
"Don't quit when the tide is lowest, for it's just about to turn.
Don't quit over doubts and questions, for there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest, for it's just a while 'till dawn.
Don't quit when you've run the farthest, for the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest, for your goal is almost nigh.
Don't quit, for you're not a failure until you fail to try."
During the past week, I was reaching a breaking point in several areas of my life but the one that was more prominent was work. There are times when I wonder why I am still there, why I put myself in the position of feeling like I am a failure because my boss makes me feel I am not good enough. Then I realize that in doing so, I am giving my power away and that she should not have that kind of power over me. I always try to remind myself that I am doing my best with the tools I am provided and if I fail due to the lack of direction, it is not my fault after all. It's hard to be in a position where you never know what is going to happen next and the way you learn is by making mistakes and trying not to make another mistake again. There are positions that allow you to be self sufficient but there are others that require direction. My current job falls under the second category and direction is what I am lacking. As I woke up this morning after dreaming of being lost in a school, trying to find my way, trying to decide what to do next, I couldn't help but realize that I am in the mists again. I am in the process of searching what is the next step when it comes to career. Do I choose what makes me happy and sacrifice some income? Do I choose what gives me money and continue being unhappy? I am at the crossroads and I am faced with different options, but the question is what option is the best for me, what option leads me to my life purpose and to bring into this world the gifts I am meant to bring.
When I saw the book mark with the words "Don't Quit" on it I saw a sign. The sign was telling me that even though I am facing the roadblocks and I am being pushed to the extremes, in the end, there is a lesson to be learned and I just need to stick with it and try to figure out the best route. If everything was easy, I would not learn anything. It is in the hardships where we learn how strong we are. Problems are just opportunities in disguise to get to know how powerful we are. So when you think you had enough and can not take it anymore, just think again and don't quit.
Blessings )0(
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Where did my space go?
For the past two weeks, I feel I am jumping from work, to father, to husband, to others and I have not had time for myself. In the past, I would have put everyone's needs before mine. I would not have hesitated in giving away my time for others, but for the past few years I have been working very hard on breaking that pattern by setting a time to take lunch, make sure that I spend some time everyday just for myself - whether this is to spend some time in the sauna, write or anything that would make me feel like it is "my" time.
My time has been highly reduced with my father's visit since I feel like a mother who has a child. I know I am not a mother but I do believe I would feel this way if I had a kid. I know I get home and since he has been home all day, I want to entertain him and make sure his visit is great. In the past, the gym was the time for myself but this year, he wanted to come to the gym so he is even coming with me to the gym what leaves little to no time for myself. The other day I was showing him how to use the machines without being able to do "my" work out. It was fun to be riding the bike next to him and playing around but at the same time, I could not follow my routine. Once he went to the locker room to go to the sauna I felt I could breath and start my work out. I have a feeling this is the way many women feel who run from work to take care of their kids, their husbands, the house, among other things. For the first time, I could feel how it would be to have a child and how demanding on myself that situation would be.
I remember one time when I was a manager and one employee told me I did not understand her because I did not have kids. Well, now I have a feeling that I would understand better but I also know that it is in us to set up clear and strong boundaries, create time for ourselves, and respect our time as we respect everybody else's. If I had a child, I could use the childcare at the gym so I could take a breather and recharge my batteries. If work was crazy, I still can choose to take a lunch, relax and then come back. If I was in school, I still can schedule time on my planner for myself. Even if that time is not every day but at least once a week. I see many friends who are burning out because they don't have time for themselves and they find themselves struggling, angry, upset, like they are running up and down a big roller coaster. It is important to listen to our emotions and know when we need to take a break, when we need to put ourselves first so we don't deplete, when we need to make sure our boundaries are crystal clear. If we don't do this, nobody else will do. That's why I've been wondering where did my space go in the past few weeks. Now I know, I chose to fill it with other responsibilities but my body is claiming its space and it is time to set clear boundaries and make sure that I respect them before I expect anybody else to respect them.
Blessings )0(
My time has been highly reduced with my father's visit since I feel like a mother who has a child. I know I am not a mother but I do believe I would feel this way if I had a kid. I know I get home and since he has been home all day, I want to entertain him and make sure his visit is great. In the past, the gym was the time for myself but this year, he wanted to come to the gym so he is even coming with me to the gym what leaves little to no time for myself. The other day I was showing him how to use the machines without being able to do "my" work out. It was fun to be riding the bike next to him and playing around but at the same time, I could not follow my routine. Once he went to the locker room to go to the sauna I felt I could breath and start my work out. I have a feeling this is the way many women feel who run from work to take care of their kids, their husbands, the house, among other things. For the first time, I could feel how it would be to have a child and how demanding on myself that situation would be.
I remember one time when I was a manager and one employee told me I did not understand her because I did not have kids. Well, now I have a feeling that I would understand better but I also know that it is in us to set up clear and strong boundaries, create time for ourselves, and respect our time as we respect everybody else's. If I had a child, I could use the childcare at the gym so I could take a breather and recharge my batteries. If work was crazy, I still can choose to take a lunch, relax and then come back. If I was in school, I still can schedule time on my planner for myself. Even if that time is not every day but at least once a week. I see many friends who are burning out because they don't have time for themselves and they find themselves struggling, angry, upset, like they are running up and down a big roller coaster. It is important to listen to our emotions and know when we need to take a break, when we need to put ourselves first so we don't deplete, when we need to make sure our boundaries are crystal clear. If we don't do this, nobody else will do. That's why I've been wondering where did my space go in the past few weeks. Now I know, I chose to fill it with other responsibilities but my body is claiming its space and it is time to set clear boundaries and make sure that I respect them before I expect anybody else to respect them.
Blessings )0(
Monday, October 11, 2010
Transitioning back from the Oasis
As anytime one finishes ritual and needs to come back to this plane, I am trying to transition back from the place between the worlds I've been for the past weekend since Friday afternoon. For months and months, I waited patiently for this weekend to come so I could have the opportunity to meet Lady Olivia Robertson, Linda Iles - my teacher, and DeTraci Regula among other people I admire in the Fellowship of Isis. Every year, for Columbus day, the Fellowship of Isis has a Convocation at Isis Oasis Temple in Geyserville, California. This was my first time participating in this event and I have to admit it, I was a little nervous. Not only I was going to participate in the event but I was also preparing myself to receive a public blessing from Lady Olivia, and my father was coming with me. Yes, you read it right! My father who comes from Argentina, who speaks little to no English but has traveled all over the world was attending the Convocation at Isis Oasis. My father has supported my Priestess path for the past few years to the point that he now has a Kwan Yin altar in his home so I felt pretty comfortable bringing him along. Nonetheless, I did not know what to expect and I was not sure if this event was his cup of tea and how he would deal with the magickal energies that were all around us in that beautiful place.
When we arrived on Friday, we found out we would be in the Neith room. Neith is the Goddess of Weaving and She weaves people lives creating opportunities for new beginnings as well as making connections and creating a network. Perfect room for a perfect event since I did make some powerful connections! The room looked magickal with all the decorations and it even had a spinning wheel so I felt like I was transported to a different plane. This room was definitely powerful and even my dad was amazed by the energies of the place and the room itself. Before leaving for the retreat, I gave him an azabache bracelet for protection (not that I thought something would happen to him but just for him to bring back to Argentina for protection), and on Friday he could not find the bracelet anywhere. Saturday morning, when he wakes up, the bracelet was sitting next to his pillow. Yes! You got it! He was a little freaked out about that. As soon as I woke up he told me "I think there are other energies protecting us here now". After that conversation, I went to the bathroom and this was my first time sharing a bathroom with everyone in the lodge. It was funny to go wash my teeth and say hi to people I just met the night before. People who know me know that I am one that needs her space and don't like proximity with people I don't know, but somehow, I felt comfortable with the people in the retreat so it was not that bad.
Saturday was a day filled with knowledge and power. I got to participate in two powerful classes, one about Isis of 10,000 names where I learned about numerology and how Isis came to be the Goddess of 10,000 names. Then, DeTraci Regula presented her book "Sounding the Sistrum, Rhythms & Ritual" and we created our own sistrum amulets!!! I highly recommend this book if you like working with sound. I really discover uses for the sistrum that I was not aware before!! After the two classes, I felt I needed some time to meditate and just be on my own. During that afternoon I discovered that Sekhmet has been calling me during the past few months since I dedicated myself to her and Isis but Isis has been taking the main role in my life and Sekhmet has been sitting on the side waiting patiently for her turn but as you know Sekhmet is not one of patience so she has set me on fire for the past three months, intoxicated me with the energies I am feeling and trying to say "you say you want to live a life of passion.. here you go... show me how you live passionately" This was a great discovery for me since I've been wondering what was going on... asking myself what Isis wanted from me with all these emotions and feelings that were coming up... Little did I know that Sekhmet was the one that was having her pawns on me and trying to claim her Priestess.
On Saturday night, we watched a play called Peace Pilgrim. This play was about a woman who decided to sell everything and start walking for peace. As she walked, she found that living a life of purpose brings peace for people and that we have derailed from our purpose by getting confused with material things. Many times we put material things first and without knowing, we sacrifice our happiness since money does not bring happiness and it is more fulfilling to live the life you were meant to live than the one that this society wants you to live. For me, my passion is rooted in my Priestess work, in being that bridge that connects people to Goddess and to bring Goddess to people. My tools are words and writing is my power.
On Sunday morning, my father and I participated in a gnostic mass to Sophia and Mary Magdalene. This was the first time my father had experienced a mass performed by Priestesses. There were four Priestesses and it was amazing to see how each supported the other. Coming from a Catholic background, it was amazing to see my father being able to participate in this mass and be fully present even when he did not understand the language. We took communion and I was amazed at how he would participate and make the Priestesses smile. Sometimes I wish I had his confidence since he was able to stand there and not feel any time of nervousness. For me, I am the shy one, the one that prefers to be observing but not being the center of attention.
On Sunday afternoon, I had to face one of my fears which is standing up in front of people and talking. During the ordination ceremony, Lady Olivia gave me a blessing for my work with Circulo de Isis and translating the liturgy to Spanish. When I got to the stage and stood up in front of her, I could feel butterflies in my stomach. There were about 50 people all looking at me receiving this blessing. At that point, Lady Olivia told me that I was already a Priestess of Isis but since I am working with words that if I would want to extend my service to Seshat who is the Goddess of Words and Writing. Yes was my answer! After that, I had to stand up and tell everyone what I was going to do with this blessing and I stood strong even when I was feeling so small and said that I want to be able to teach the College of Isis in Spanish and ordain Priestesses who can pass this work along in Spanish. It was a very powerful moment for me and I think I will never forget this weekend. It was amazing to see my father's proud face when I was receiving the blessing. It was as a graduation date, he had the same face!
One of the things I learned this weekend is that we need to put our heart first before anything else. Isis is the Goddess of Love first and foremost and living a life based on our passions and our hearts is the way to live it. We could live in our heads but that will not lead us to happiness. Living from the heart will. That's why I want to live a life of devotion, compassion, love and service. That's my calling and as I transition back from the Oasis, I know I am a stronger Priestess and I am always committed to my path and to live from the heart.
Blessings )0(
When we arrived on Friday, we found out we would be in the Neith room. Neith is the Goddess of Weaving and She weaves people lives creating opportunities for new beginnings as well as making connections and creating a network. Perfect room for a perfect event since I did make some powerful connections! The room looked magickal with all the decorations and it even had a spinning wheel so I felt like I was transported to a different plane. This room was definitely powerful and even my dad was amazed by the energies of the place and the room itself. Before leaving for the retreat, I gave him an azabache bracelet for protection (not that I thought something would happen to him but just for him to bring back to Argentina for protection), and on Friday he could not find the bracelet anywhere. Saturday morning, when he wakes up, the bracelet was sitting next to his pillow. Yes! You got it! He was a little freaked out about that. As soon as I woke up he told me "I think there are other energies protecting us here now". After that conversation, I went to the bathroom and this was my first time sharing a bathroom with everyone in the lodge. It was funny to go wash my teeth and say hi to people I just met the night before. People who know me know that I am one that needs her space and don't like proximity with people I don't know, but somehow, I felt comfortable with the people in the retreat so it was not that bad.
Saturday was a day filled with knowledge and power. I got to participate in two powerful classes, one about Isis of 10,000 names where I learned about numerology and how Isis came to be the Goddess of 10,000 names. Then, DeTraci Regula presented her book "Sounding the Sistrum, Rhythms & Ritual" and we created our own sistrum amulets!!! I highly recommend this book if you like working with sound. I really discover uses for the sistrum that I was not aware before!! After the two classes, I felt I needed some time to meditate and just be on my own. During that afternoon I discovered that Sekhmet has been calling me during the past few months since I dedicated myself to her and Isis but Isis has been taking the main role in my life and Sekhmet has been sitting on the side waiting patiently for her turn but as you know Sekhmet is not one of patience so she has set me on fire for the past three months, intoxicated me with the energies I am feeling and trying to say "you say you want to live a life of passion.. here you go... show me how you live passionately" This was a great discovery for me since I've been wondering what was going on... asking myself what Isis wanted from me with all these emotions and feelings that were coming up... Little did I know that Sekhmet was the one that was having her pawns on me and trying to claim her Priestess.
On Saturday night, we watched a play called Peace Pilgrim. This play was about a woman who decided to sell everything and start walking for peace. As she walked, she found that living a life of purpose brings peace for people and that we have derailed from our purpose by getting confused with material things. Many times we put material things first and without knowing, we sacrifice our happiness since money does not bring happiness and it is more fulfilling to live the life you were meant to live than the one that this society wants you to live. For me, my passion is rooted in my Priestess work, in being that bridge that connects people to Goddess and to bring Goddess to people. My tools are words and writing is my power.
On Sunday morning, my father and I participated in a gnostic mass to Sophia and Mary Magdalene. This was the first time my father had experienced a mass performed by Priestesses. There were four Priestesses and it was amazing to see how each supported the other. Coming from a Catholic background, it was amazing to see my father being able to participate in this mass and be fully present even when he did not understand the language. We took communion and I was amazed at how he would participate and make the Priestesses smile. Sometimes I wish I had his confidence since he was able to stand there and not feel any time of nervousness. For me, I am the shy one, the one that prefers to be observing but not being the center of attention.
On Sunday afternoon, I had to face one of my fears which is standing up in front of people and talking. During the ordination ceremony, Lady Olivia gave me a blessing for my work with Circulo de Isis and translating the liturgy to Spanish. When I got to the stage and stood up in front of her, I could feel butterflies in my stomach. There were about 50 people all looking at me receiving this blessing. At that point, Lady Olivia told me that I was already a Priestess of Isis but since I am working with words that if I would want to extend my service to Seshat who is the Goddess of Words and Writing. Yes was my answer! After that, I had to stand up and tell everyone what I was going to do with this blessing and I stood strong even when I was feeling so small and said that I want to be able to teach the College of Isis in Spanish and ordain Priestesses who can pass this work along in Spanish. It was a very powerful moment for me and I think I will never forget this weekend. It was amazing to see my father's proud face when I was receiving the blessing. It was as a graduation date, he had the same face!
One of the things I learned this weekend is that we need to put our heart first before anything else. Isis is the Goddess of Love first and foremost and living a life based on our passions and our hearts is the way to live it. We could live in our heads but that will not lead us to happiness. Living from the heart will. That's why I want to live a life of devotion, compassion, love and service. That's my calling and as I transition back from the Oasis, I know I am a stronger Priestess and I am always committed to my path and to live from the heart.
Blessings )0(
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Like a surfer riding the BIG Wave
This year has been one of those years where I feel my life has been balanced between good and evil. For every good thing that happens, one bad happens as well with the same frequency. Like a pendulum swinging from good to bad to good to bad again. At the beginning of the year, I got my car broken into. At that time, I felt violated, not safe, and fragile. That event was balanced with the amazing creation of Circulo de Isis Iseum and visiting the Temple of Isis for the first time.
At the middle of the year, I started working on a translation project and I got scammed but at the same time, I got to travel to Buenos Aires and ordain the first Priestess of Circulo de Isis Iseum, a wonderful woman who has become one of my closest friends.
Now, I am less than a week away from receiving an ordination from Lady Olivia Robertson and yes, as everything amazing in life comes with the blocks in the road. This morning, I woke up to find out that somebody had been making some charges to my account. As I called the bank to cancel the card, the charges kept coming through and I could see my account getting drained. I could hear myself telling the bank employee "make it stop, cancel the card now" It was one of the most horrible experiences ever because I felt powerless and weak. I could not make it stop, I could not prevent it, I could not mitigate that risk. It just happened and there was nothing I could do. I was happy that somehow I decided to check the bank account this morning and prevent more charges but it did not make me feel better.
Lately, I feel like a surfer riding a BIG Wave, I can feel the power buzzing, I can feel the energy, but I also feel the chaos and become more and more aware of the lack of control we all have. Sometimes, we just need to let go and trust that everything happens for a reason, both good and evil, and that in the end once we ride the BIG Wave, we can get to the shore knowing that we are safe and fine.
Blessings )0(
At the middle of the year, I started working on a translation project and I got scammed but at the same time, I got to travel to Buenos Aires and ordain the first Priestess of Circulo de Isis Iseum, a wonderful woman who has become one of my closest friends.
Now, I am less than a week away from receiving an ordination from Lady Olivia Robertson and yes, as everything amazing in life comes with the blocks in the road. This morning, I woke up to find out that somebody had been making some charges to my account. As I called the bank to cancel the card, the charges kept coming through and I could see my account getting drained. I could hear myself telling the bank employee "make it stop, cancel the card now" It was one of the most horrible experiences ever because I felt powerless and weak. I could not make it stop, I could not prevent it, I could not mitigate that risk. It just happened and there was nothing I could do. I was happy that somehow I decided to check the bank account this morning and prevent more charges but it did not make me feel better.
Lately, I feel like a surfer riding a BIG Wave, I can feel the power buzzing, I can feel the energy, but I also feel the chaos and become more and more aware of the lack of control we all have. Sometimes, we just need to let go and trust that everything happens for a reason, both good and evil, and that in the end once we ride the BIG Wave, we can get to the shore knowing that we are safe and fine.
Blessings )0(
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Settling for a less than perfect life
There are days when I wonder whether I am settling for less than a perfect life or if I am living fully. As I was talking to my best friend about risk management, I couldn't help but noticed that sometimes we have situations we accept as they are, others that we mitigate and others that we avoid completely. In my life, when I look at my work, I am between mitigating or accepting but is that the way to live my life. Should I work in a place that does not make me happy, does not hold my passion, but brings me money? The same happens with some relationships in my life where I know the relationship is not the best, but I end up accepting it as it is because it is better than walking away. When I look at these situations, I realize every day I am making the decision to remain how I am or to change. I always have the opportunity to change if I want to. I am not pushed to stay in the job I am or continue with the relationships that don't fulfill me. It is up to me to make a decision to live the best life I can live or to settle for a less than perfect life.
Today, I went for a walk with some friends and it was the perfect walk. It was like a sign from the Universe saying... "you see, you can have it all; life can be perfect if you want it to be; you have the power" During this walk, there was lightening and that reminded me of the card "The Tower" in the tarot where lightning strikes and breaks away the old structures to leave space to the new. It was dark and the moon was shining and for the first part of the walk, the Moon was all we could see. Goddess was guiding us strongly. Then, as the sun started coming out, light started illuminating the trails bringing balance from dark to light. During the walk we could hear some coyotes howling and that was the first time that happened to us. It was interesting because although I felt a little fear, I still remained strong knowing that I was safe even when the situation was unknown. To finish this perfect walk, the rain started pouring, washing away the old, the parts that were broken by the lightning. As you can see, the walk was full of symbolism. Breaking structures, letting go of fear, facing the difficult situations, trusting the unknown, and letting Goddess guide you. Harmony is all around and as there is light, there is dark, as there is happiness, there is sadness. As there is fun, there is also responsibility. We can choose to remain afraid and not go for the best life we could live, but we also have the power to make the best of our lives, follow our hearts' desires and make sure that we live every day as if it was the last. Never settle for less than a perfect life.
Blessings )0(
Today, I went for a walk with some friends and it was the perfect walk. It was like a sign from the Universe saying... "you see, you can have it all; life can be perfect if you want it to be; you have the power" During this walk, there was lightening and that reminded me of the card "The Tower" in the tarot where lightning strikes and breaks away the old structures to leave space to the new. It was dark and the moon was shining and for the first part of the walk, the Moon was all we could see. Goddess was guiding us strongly. Then, as the sun started coming out, light started illuminating the trails bringing balance from dark to light. During the walk we could hear some coyotes howling and that was the first time that happened to us. It was interesting because although I felt a little fear, I still remained strong knowing that I was safe even when the situation was unknown. To finish this perfect walk, the rain started pouring, washing away the old, the parts that were broken by the lightning. As you can see, the walk was full of symbolism. Breaking structures, letting go of fear, facing the difficult situations, trusting the unknown, and letting Goddess guide you. Harmony is all around and as there is light, there is dark, as there is happiness, there is sadness. As there is fun, there is also responsibility. We can choose to remain afraid and not go for the best life we could live, but we also have the power to make the best of our lives, follow our hearts' desires and make sure that we live every day as if it was the last. Never settle for less than a perfect life.
Blessings )0(
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