Sunday, October 24, 2010

On Rings and Value

About two weeks ago, I decided to take off my wedding ring because it was feeling very tight and as a pair of jeans that you try to fit when you know you have put on weight, I was trying to fit this ring on my finger when it was hurting me. This was the first time in almost eight years that I took this ring off so it felt weird at first. But this strange feeling made me realize how much value we place on material things and how those things have become symbols in our lives. Yesterday, I took the ring to the jewelry store to get fix and it was an interesting experience because I was there alone, my father was waiting outside. The lady behind the desk seemed rude - like I did not have enough money to buy a ring there. As I observed the rings, I couldn't help but notice how much value is placed on these rings, and the question that came to my mind was "even if the ring is $6000, is that my value? Is that the value of the relationship?" I never understood the concept of the diamond ring. In Argentina, we only wear the wedding bands. When we get engaged, both boyfriend and girlfriend wear a wedding band to symbolize the engagement. It's not the girlfriend alone wearing a ring that identifies her as "engaged", both of them wear the same.

As I gathered strength to ask this very unhappy lady whether they fix rings or not, I noticed that she was looking at me like I did not fit in or something. I asked her if they fixed rings and when she said yes, I got my ring out of my bag and handed it to her saying I wanted to make it a size bigger. First, she looked at me and asked "what material is this ring?" Like I handed a sterling silver ring. In my head, I was like... really? Do you need to ask? This is your job and everyone knows that you look inside the ring to see the material since it is branded... I answered the question and then she asked me if I knew what size I needed, and I responded a size bigger. To that response, she looked at me and said... "is this for you?" Like she could not believe I was married or something so I told her that it was for me. As she measured my finger, her energy got better. I couldn't help but noticed she did not have a ring on her finger and I wondered if she would be one of those ladies that places all her value in a ring or a husband and that's why she was so unhappy. To top the whole experience off, she asked me if I knew the value of the ring and at that point, I looked at her and said "I don't, it's been almost eight years and I do not remember the price." As she wrote the number of the piece of paper, I couldn't help but think, "whoa, is that really the price of my marriage? Is that really the value?"

As I was coming off the shop, my dad asked me why I did not wear other rings like the people in this country instead of just wearing the wedding band. This question really called my attention since he is from Argentina but I responded that I was a simple person and I did not care about expensive rings, for me the ring is not important, the relationship is. I could have the most expensive ring in the world and be very unhappy so what would that be worth? When I responded that, he said that I had my great-grandmother's ring, a sapphire ring with diamonds around it. That ring was given to my grandmother by her mother, and then to my mother from my grandmother so it's been in my family for four generations, and what called my attention more was that I am named after my great-grandmother - Amalia and now I have her ring. This was very illuminating for me since this ring has meaning, it is part of my matriarchal blood line and it's been in my family for almost 100 years. Can any other ring equate the value of this one? The answer is no. This ring is priceless and that's the type of ring I would like to wear to symbolize my marriage or any other relationship. A symbol of eternity, of solidity, of union, of love, of family, of blood. We live in a world that values the material things too much forgetting what it is really important. It is our hearts and our capacity to love what gives us value, not the things we wear.

Blessings )0(

1 comment:

  1. I do wear two weddin rings.My partner's mum bought one and his dad another...both silver.I also wear a ring my parner gave me before we got handfasted...silver and opal...sweet and nice..He does not wear any rings. I made him a wedding pixie pendant. He just does now wear jewllery. However, what counts is how much we support each other and love each other even in hard times. What one wears or not is a personal choice.