Monday, April 23, 2012

The Law of Giving and Receiving

A few weeks ago, I went back to listening to audio books in the car. I started with the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz and I followed with The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. As I was listening to Deepak talk about the Law of Giving and Receiving, I couldn´t help but think about my life, my relationships, my activities, everything. It seems that in life, I have been able to give more than what I can receive. There was a time when one of my therapists told me when I am in a relationship I tend to give 110% so I don´t let the other person give anything because I give it all for both of us. How many times have I expressed affection so continuously that the other person my feel suffocated or when it is not reciprocated I feel like I am not worth it? How many times I have been the 911 for my friends when the emergency calls (Thank you Ava for this phrase!)? Since I started working with Ava Park and her Queen teachings, she asked me to say yes to all help and to be open to receive. This exercise has brought a lot of awareness in my life because not only I have the superwoman complex as I can do everything by myself, I also give without limits and sometimes the giving is not equated with the receiving.

As I started paying attention to what I receive from others, I started to notice that in some relationships in my life I tend to give and give and give and not receive much. Then, the question becomes why I am friends with this person. Is this relationship allowing me to grow or are we stagnant and we are just together because of time or tradition or the past? I am in a deep evaluation of everything that is within my realm and my friendships are getting to be under the microscope because I really don´t want to be the one driving the relationship. Today, I read in facebook the following phrase "Good relationships don´t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together." This phrase resonated with me because I tend to do all the work for everyone in the relationship. Yes, I am the one texting, I am the one anticipating needs, I am the one initiating most of the time. As an Enneagram Type Two, I have a tendency to give and be friendly but I am getting to a point where I want my relationships to be 50/50 or at least be equal most of the time. I know there will be times one person will be 70% while the other gives 30% or viceversa but overall, it should be 50/50 so nobody burns out, nobody feels like he or she is needy, and nobody feels like it´s begging for attention to the relationship. 

Sometimes it is hard to look at our relationships and realize the time has come to say goodbye but if the relationship is not fulfilling, if you are not feeling happy and growing with that person, sometimes it is better to just rip the band aid off and allow that space to be empty for new relationships to come. Giving and receiving is like a current and it comes and goes but if it only goes one way, it may get depleted in the end. If people take it for granted that they will continue receiving and stop giving, they may wake up one day to find themselves lonely and wonder what happened. No matter where you go or who you are with, always give because as you give, you will receive and be grateful for all the things you receive.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina )0(

No comments:

Post a Comment