Step into your Power Zone

During Thanksgiving weekend, I decided to go on morning walks as a way to meditate and connect with nature as well as gather my thoughts for all the projects I am working on at the time - building new classes, building the Circulo de Isis website, and working on my reduction of the non-essential lifestyle. As I walked in my neighborhood, I looked at the trees, the birds and all the little animals that I would come across. I had my headphones on and I was listening to some music when this dog came barking at me from behind. If you know me, you know I used to be terrified of dogs. When I saw this dog, he was so closed to my leg I screamed. Then I stopped and I said "You freaked me out!!!! Go to your place" I think my Mars in Scorpio came out because the dog just turned around and went back to his house and barked a little bit behind his fence. In the past, I know I would have run away and be very scared of the whole situation but now, I was able to stand for myself and say NO, you go to your place!

This situation made me think of all those other situations when I may have been scared and ran away instead of standing straight and taking the bull from the horns because I had the power to manifest my own reality and the challenges I face are only ways of the Universe to teach me knew  lessons and stir me right. If I had given to my fear, I would have not done a radio interview because I am usually the shy one. If I had given to my fear, I would not have moved to the USA because it was far away from the known and very unknown at the time. 

As I keep putting pictures and words in my vision board, I realize that manifesting my vision for life requires some bold moves. I can´t be in my fear zone because if I let my demons dominate my life, I will just manifest a life filled with shadows. I need to be honest with myself, I need to hold myself in integrity and clarity and always be authentic because in the end, it is not about what we do or what we say but it is about who we are deep inside, our core, our beliefs and foundation. Yesterday, I decided not to participate in an event that was going to be filled with phonies and fake people. In the beginning, I thought it would be fun to attend such an event but after meditating, I felt it was a waste of time. Why would I put myself in a situation where I am so closed to energy vampires and around people I don´t respect? Some of their ways of living and beliefs are totally different from what I believe and I don´t judge them at all, I respect their way of thinking but I don´t need to spend time with them when I have a choice so I choose to spend my time in a more productive, joyful and rich way. A way that stands for who I am and does not drain my energy. I don´t want to have to fake anything, I don´t want to have to be lying or putting on a show, I just want to participate in activities that allow me to be me, just me, authentic and honest me.

We can live in fear like society wants us to or we can just step into our power zone and live from the heart, showing our true colors, being honest and authentic. . Which one would you choose? You always have a choice. Even when you are not choosing, you are doing so.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

In Gratitude

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite American holidays. When I move to the USA, I was happy to incorporate this special day in my calendar and adopt this tradition. I think it is amazing that this country has a day to give thanks and be in the spirit of gratitude. This does not mean that we have to be grateful only that day, but it does provide us with an opportunity to do an inventory of all those things that happened to us during this year and be thankful.

During my morning walk today, I was able to think of all those things I am grateful this year. 2012 brought many experiences to me. I was able to visit Disneyland for the first time in my life with my Priestess Sister and friend, Jesamyn Angelica. I was able to visit the Temple of Orange County twice. I was able to participate in two Queen Convocations with Ava Park and I am currently taking the Queen Teachings online. I was able to visit my country and get together with my family and friends who I haven´t seen in over two years. I was able to visit Lake Tahoe and discovered Half Moon Bay - my new retreat place - I am going there tomorrow to meditate and connect with the Ocean once again. I am thankful for all my students who are teaching me more than I am teaching them. I am thankful for all my friends and loved ones who are always showing me new things about myself. I am also thankful for all those who have departed my life as our journey together has reached its end and our karmic connection is no longer needed. I am thankful for being a 24/7 Priestess and being able to hold center for my community - Círculo de Isis. I am grateful to be co-teaching with my Priestess Sister Jesamyn Angelica and to have an amazing group of students there. I am thankful for being able to live in this country that is full of opportunities and to have landed in California, the land of the Sun and live in an area that allows me to connect with the Mountain, with the Ocean, with the River and really experience my Druid Self more fully.  I am thankful to be able to support myself and live comfortably, for my house that is my temple, for my car that allows me to move around, for having internet to be able to connect with all those people I may not be able to connect if I did not have that tool.

I am also thankful for those experiences that were not so happy at the time but have made me a stronger Queen. I am grateful for my broken foot during the summer because it taught me to be always grateful of my good health and my ability to move around. I am grateful for the disappointments and pain that some people have brought to my life because they showed me that I am still open to love and even when people hurt me, I will remain open and loving to all. I am thankful for those who put blocks in my path because as I find my way around them like the water in a stream, I become more flexible and more capable to deal with all the situations in my life.

I am thankful for both the good and the bad that has happened in my life because without those things, I wouldn´t be who I am right now. Thank you Goddess for all the experiences you brought me this year and for helping me grow and evolve.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I am in gratitude today.

Blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Stand Straight in Life

There are just a few books that can hold my attention with such intensity that I can´t put them down until I finish reading them. Silent Power by Stuart Wilde was one of those books. I was introduced to this book by Ava Park in her Queen Teachings Online where she mentioned this rather small book about personal power and charisma. When I started reading it, the message resonated so much with me that two hours after, I had finished the book and I was buzzing with the information!!!

One thing that really stuck with me was the concept  of standing straight in life and not leaning on people. When we are sad, depressed, worried or experiencing anxiety, we tend to lean on people and suck their energy. We focus on the negative emotions we are feeling, we focus on what is going wrong, we focus on all those things that do not work anymore so we can complain about them. Stuart says there are three steps to avoid leaning on people:

1. Don´t lean toward things you don´t have. Affirm, visualize, and take action instead.

2. Try not to lean into the future by talking or thinking about it constantly. Instead take time each day to make the now special, honoring what you have and what you have achieved.

3. Start to design your life so that you don´t require things from others. Try to need only those things you can get yourself. 

When we start living from these principles, we filled our etheric body with energy and are able to irradiate a charisma that is hard to replicate because all those material things that are ego driven do not fill us with energy and their shinny effect passes really fast. There is always a newer version of a car, a phone, a computer, you name it. People are usually power hungry and power starved. They want to be special, they want to be famous, rich and perfect but these things are ego driven and they only motivate the person to lose their energy and also they lose their power because their power is based on what they have or done but not based on who they are. 

Another thing that stuck with me was the power of Silent Talking. In this book, Stuart says that people talk too much and volunteer too much information. He also mentions that people are usually motivated to talk to compete with others in order to see who has more material things or has travelled more or knows more. People usually talk from an ego place where they are trying to satisfy their need to feel important and special. Stuart says that if you don´t engage in this ego talk, you remain in silence and your intuition is really amplified and you can really feel what others are thinking or feeling as they talk. I think Silence can be very powerful and I will be experimenting with this aspect in the future.

Overall, the book was amazing and I think it is one of those books I will read time and time again and always find something new. I am grateful Ava introduced it to me.

From now on Stand Straight in Life and when in doubt, lean out!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note:

Ava Park and her Queen Teachings

http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

Silent Power by Stuart Wilde

http://www.amazon.com/Silent-Power-Stuart-Wilde/dp/1401905110/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353394777&sr=8-1&keywords=Silent+POwer

Flow

Sometimes people think I have my life planned 24/7 365 days a year and that I always know what comes next but I don´t. There have been many times when I have felt I am lost in the middle of the forest not knowing where I am going or what I should be doing. I remember when I became a Priestess and I have no clue what I was supposed to be doing!!!!!! Yes, I had no clue at all but I figured it out and I follow the flow within that took me to safe shores after many many storms.

You think I don´t cry... well, I do. I have spent nights crying feeling my ancestors holding me and holding my teddy bear. Yes, I have those moments when everything feels like it is collapsing, everything is being destroyed and I don´t know whether I should die with the structure o just survive. Where do I hold on???? This storm is too much!!!!!

Some of the memories I have from my childhood are me holding my little teddy dog that my father has brought me as a present from one of his trips and hoping everything will be ok the next day. When everything was breaking apart and violence was in the house, a drunken father and a bipolar mother, I would just hold my teddy dog and cry, paralyzed. I always remember my god mother telling me I could cry in such a way that nobody knew, I would be paralyzed and just be destroyed within but the outside would be intact. Nobody would know.

Yes, life may not have been easy but it is what it is and it has made me who I am. A strong woman who still holds the teddy bear when things get hard and prays to Goddess to show her a way because things are just not right and she is running out of steam. She is still holding on to dear life even when the storm seems to be taking her away and she has no energy to spare.

Those are the times to release control and let go, be the hangman in the tarot, surrender to the energies and go with the flow. No matter how bad it looks, it will always take you to a safer harbor. The more you try to control the situation, the less energy you have. Just flow. Flow. Flow.... Goddess knows, trust the Universe knows. Flow.....

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Patience and Trust

I have a 6 month project... yes you read it right, 6 months. I am usually the person who gets moved and unpacks everything in one week but this time, it took one look at the storage facility to know that I will need plenty of time to clear that space, donate, sell and/or give away the things that I have not used in 6 years and that are collecting dust in the storage facility. It is very interesting because this project is bringing memories of the days when I decided to move to the USA and had to fit everything that I could not let go of in 3 bags and you can imagine one bag contained only books! As I look back at those times in my life when I was facing a big change and a big transformation, it also took months to manifest. It was not overnight. My husband proposed in August of 2002 and we got married in February of 2003, I moved to the USA in April 2003 so it actually took 9 months of organizing, giving away and preparing for the big step. It´s interesting how when we are reaching the end we always remember the beginning. When I look back, I can´t believe how much I changed, how much I have grown in this country full of opportunities, how many different iterations of Queen Carolina have come and go during the past 10 years and the different phases I experienced.

Today, I picked up three boxes in the storage facility to bring home. Somehow I think that if I pick three boxes twice a week, I can clean that place up in 6 months... we will see. This Queen has her plans but they are always in the drawing board and can change without any kind of notice.   As I opened the boxes and started going through them, I couldn´t help but smile when I saw my old notebook from my days in Argentina. When I opened it, I started reading it and I had all my notes for my wedding. What was required... 28 days before the wedding, you have to register in the court, 7 days before the wedding you have to have the blood test... you need this and that.... lists of tasks that I had to do to get ready for that step. It was fascinating because as time passes, we do forget how much energy it took for us to manifest our reality. We forget about the hard parts and the struggles, things get minimized. These days I find myself with different research lists and steps in this process, but there is always a process and there are always steps to follow. 

As I continued going through the boxes and I found a picture of my mother, my grandmother from my father´s side and my soul grandmother (she is my dad´s aunt but has always been like a granny to me). This picture took my breath away because I was not expecting to find that in this box. This is something I would expect to find in Buenos Aires but here, in the States, it was sort of like a shock and a good omen at the same time. I could see my bloodline supporting me from the other side. They were letting me know that they are there, supporting me and holding me as I transition to my next stage in life, the same way they were there 10 years ago. Always supporting me and making sure that I would be fine at the other side of the bridge I am about to cross.

These days, I find myself going back to doing things I used to do when I was younger. I bought a new digital camera because I used to love taking pictures and I still do. Today I bought a romantic novel because I remembered I loved reading those when I was in High School. We used to call them shampoo reading because it is just fiction and helps you clear your head away from stress. I have been reading non-fiction for a long time and I think it is time for something new and more relaxing as well. It´s like I am rediscovering myself, remembering what I used to like and what used to be important to me so this new version of Queen Carolina is more real and true. I know changes don´t happen overnight and things take time but I have patience and I do trust that no matter how long things take, everything will be for the best of all concerned.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Vibrations, Vibrations, Vibrations

Vibrations, vibrations, vibrations!!!! What an Eureka Moment I had last Tuesday! I was thinking about my life and how in life we attract the things to us that vibrate at the same frequency we are vibrating - like attracts like. I thought about the experiences that I´ve had this year, the things that have happened and how at times I feel depleted and almost with no energy to manifest anything in my life, needless to say, I have not energy to manifest my vision or to take care of my Realm.

As I study the materials from the Queen Teachings Online with Ava Park, I realize that during this year I have been vibrating at a lower frequency and attracting to me those challenges that will either sink me or make me stronger and a better Queen in the future. I thought about my trip to Buenos Aires and how depleted I felt after it. I thought about my broken foot and how it derailed my whole vision of what the summer was going to look like. I thought about my friends and family and how they vibrate at different frequencies at times. Thats´s when I realized that I need to start vibrating at my own frequency and whoever or whatever is not vibrating at the same level will just fall away and leave the realm without me having to say anything. I just need to change my vibration because in the end, the only thing I have control of is me and my own situation. I can not control my environment, I can´t control my friends, I can´t control my family´s reactions, but I can definitely control my own vibration, my own thoughts and my own energy. 

As I started experimenting with the vibrations, I started noticing that I did not hit as many red lights, I did not engage with people who were angry or complaining as I don´t want those energies close to me, and I started noticing that people around me were nicer and smiled more... I may be going crazy but it did feel like as I changed my way of seeing life and my vibration, everything was just following. People gave me the right of way when I was driving, others opened doors for me, and mainly everyone was smiling. 

I think at times we have to just focus on what we can change and that is ourselves, we can never change things or people because they are the way they are but if we change and they stick around, the vibration will adjust and the relationship will continue. If not, it will just end because there will be no energy feeding that relationship or the activity.

As I look at vibrations and energy, I start noticing those activities that drain me and those that feed my soul. For example, the other day one of my friends told me to go walk a labyrinth during lunch time and I felt so refreshed after it that I wanted to do it again. On the other hand, there are other people that you just want to run the other way because they are complaining and after you are with them you feel like you have 0 energy left. More and more, I am aware of these subtle situations and start choosing very carefully because in order to hold my vibration, I need to make sure that I don´t have interference or activities that push me to a different direction and then I become those people I am trying to avoid now. In certain activities or with certain people, I do feel there can be a disturbance in the force and I definitely don´t want that in my life. The force is running strong in me these days and I´ve been practicing all my Yedi tricks. I know what you are thinking and I find your lack of faith disturbing. LOL!!!!!! I can´t say this with a straight face. 

All in all, we control the energies we emit in our environment and those energies call other energies into our fields. Now that I am aware of this, I can definitely modify my vibration so I don´t attract anything I don´t want in my life. You can do the same! May the force be with you!

Many Blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

The Phoenix Rising

I am back!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I am back from the dead and I am fearless! I can definitely say that I´ve been consumed in ashes and raised back up to be myself again but this time, I have let go of the fear that was preventing me to become my true self. I burned out all those pieces that have prevented me to stand on my own power and vision my future. Now I can smile and laugh, now I can have faith that the future looks bright, now I can be the architect of my destiny.

It´s interesting when your friends tell you "You look so happy now" "It´s so nice to see the spark in your eyes back on" and I want to say, yes!!!! I am back to being myself, the strong woman I was over 10 years ago when I decided to risk everything and move to the USA. Yes, I was fearless at that time and I am fearless now too!!! After my father´s visit, I have realized in this lifetime I am on my own, I am the Queen of my Realm (as Ava Park would say) and I am 100% responsible for what happens in this realm I have created. 

As family members keep calling to see how I am doing after my dad has returned and talked to them, I keep giving the same message "I am fine! This Queen has her Realm under control and things are safe! Relax!!!! LOL, just writing this phrase reminds me of my father  when he would tell me I should relax. I am relaxed and calmed and my decisions are not based on fear, they are not based on fast fiery feelings, they are based on truth for my realm, truth for myself and the best for me - Queen Carolina - who is coming out of the cocoon to be who she was meant to be, not the little barbie doll they wanted her to become.

Fearlessness is very powerful because at this time I am not concerned about what other will say or tell, I am just me! To the bare bone! just me and whether you like it or not, it is your problem after all. We are all free to decide what we want in our lives so if you choose I am not to be part of your life, that´s perfect! But if you want me in  your life, this is what you get too, full disclosure :) 

Last week I was able to have a very candid and honest conversation with my new boss who was amazed about how I could articulate how I felt and what I needed in the future or I would be gone. I was also proud of myself to be able to be clear and honest but not sound negative, just shed some light and walk away in a way (thank you Ava for that phrase! shed light and walk away). 

Starting Sunday, I have felt I am rising from the ashes and my new self is coming out, a woman who is whole and is not afraid anymore, she is complete and powerful. She has total confidence in the future and the Universe to bring to her whatever it is meant to be hers so she is not fighting anymore, she is not pretending anymore, she is not trying too hard or pushing the river, she is... yes she just is and believe me, once you reach that level, everything makes you smile. Today, I was supposed to go for coffee.. then vote.... and I noticed I have left my wallet at home so I had no money or ID, and my car has almost no gas to get home. Well, a friend got me a cup of coffee and I was able to get home to grab my wallet before the gas light turned on so yes, Goddess is there, The Universe knows and you are safe. That´s the message I got today, I can smile and I can be positive because no matter how things may look now, it is going to be ok, we are safe.

The Phoenix is Rising, spreading her wings and touching our hearts so we know we are protected and we know that no matter how low you go, we will raise again and find our way. As I write this blog I am listening to the song dream on and I can only say....

Dream on, dream on, dream on until your dreams come true....

You have the power to create your destiny and your future! Don´t give up! It´s up to you... will you stay in the ashes or rise... like the phoenix. The decision is yours!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo of Isis

Note: Thank you Ava Park to show me the way to bring my Queen back up front! You have changed my life

http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

The Cycle of Life

WOW! I am still buzzing after experiencing a cycle of life event yesterday. I was going to Staples to buy a new binder as the binder I was using to keep the materials I am learning in the class I am taking with Ava Park was getting small. As I turned in the corner to go park I see an amazing hawk on the floor of the parking lot holding tight to a pigeon with its claws. The energy this bird was irradiating was incredible, the power, the presence. I couldn´t stop looking both amazed at the power display and in horror for the pigeon. Needless to say, I got off my car after parking and continue watching the scene. Some crows came and tried to fight the hawk that was defending it´s dinner and was not going to give up. As the hawk flew away with the pigeon in its claws, I started thinking about the cycle of life and death. 

How many times do we die to some part of ourselves to become something different and be born again? How many times do we let go of something that was very important to us to make space for something new? The seasons are also a reflection of the cycles that can go within. We see the leaves fall and the trees letting go of the old to be reborn during the spring with new strong green leaves. We don´t go in a linear fashion but we go in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. We change, we grow, we evolve and we transform ourselves because the only sure thing in this world is change. Nothing remains the same for a long period of time. As we start getting into the darker part of the year, it is the perfect time to meditate, to go into the dark and embark in the journey of self discovery so we as the trees can let go of those leaves that do not serve us anymore and create the room and space for the new to come to life next spring. What activities do you feel you can let go of or they stop giving you satisfaction? What relationships have outlived their time? What things within yourself do no longer serve you in any capacity? I know I am in a period of self inventory and as my wheel keeps turning and turning it will show me the direction to go. 

Thinking of the hawk again, I can see that the bird had determination, it knew what had to be done and did not hesitate. I don´t think anybody would have got close to that bird with the energy that it was irradiating. It was not going to allow anybody to get close to it´s dinner, not even the crows and I thought about the future and how at times if we are not determined on what we want, we may hesitate, we may self-sabotage, we may make things harder than they should be just because we don´t know what needs to be done or we don´t have a clear vision of what we want and let our fears drive us instead of our heart and soul. 

Looking at the hawk and the cycles of life, I know that I will not fear death as it is the necessary step to be born again, I will have determination of what I want for my future and not hesitate in what needs to be done because I don´t want to wake up one day and realize that my fears have been the ones manifesting my reality and not the vision in my heart.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis