Sunday, November 11, 2012

Patience and Trust

I have a 6 month project... yes you read it right, 6 months. I am usually the person who gets moved and unpacks everything in one week but this time, it took one look at the storage facility to know that I will need plenty of time to clear that space, donate, sell and/or give away the things that I have not used in 6 years and that are collecting dust in the storage facility. It is very interesting because this project is bringing memories of the days when I decided to move to the USA and had to fit everything that I could not let go of in 3 bags and you can imagine one bag contained only books! As I look back at those times in my life when I was facing a big change and a big transformation, it also took months to manifest. It was not overnight. My husband proposed in August of 2002 and we got married in February of 2003, I moved to the USA in April 2003 so it actually took 9 months of organizing, giving away and preparing for the big step. It´s interesting how when we are reaching the end we always remember the beginning. When I look back, I can´t believe how much I changed, how much I have grown in this country full of opportunities, how many different iterations of Queen Carolina have come and go during the past 10 years and the different phases I experienced.

Today, I picked up three boxes in the storage facility to bring home. Somehow I think that if I pick three boxes twice a week, I can clean that place up in 6 months... we will see. This Queen has her plans but they are always in the drawing board and can change without any kind of notice.   As I opened the boxes and started going through them, I couldn´t help but smile when I saw my old notebook from my days in Argentina. When I opened it, I started reading it and I had all my notes for my wedding. What was required... 28 days before the wedding, you have to register in the court, 7 days before the wedding you have to have the blood test... you need this and that.... lists of tasks that I had to do to get ready for that step. It was fascinating because as time passes, we do forget how much energy it took for us to manifest our reality. We forget about the hard parts and the struggles, things get minimized. These days I find myself with different research lists and steps in this process, but there is always a process and there are always steps to follow. 

As I continued going through the boxes and I found a picture of my mother, my grandmother from my father´s side and my soul grandmother (she is my dad´s aunt but has always been like a granny to me). This picture took my breath away because I was not expecting to find that in this box. This is something I would expect to find in Buenos Aires but here, in the States, it was sort of like a shock and a good omen at the same time. I could see my bloodline supporting me from the other side. They were letting me know that they are there, supporting me and holding me as I transition to my next stage in life, the same way they were there 10 years ago. Always supporting me and making sure that I would be fine at the other side of the bridge I am about to cross.

These days, I find myself going back to doing things I used to do when I was younger. I bought a new digital camera because I used to love taking pictures and I still do. Today I bought a romantic novel because I remembered I loved reading those when I was in High School. We used to call them shampoo reading because it is just fiction and helps you clear your head away from stress. I have been reading non-fiction for a long time and I think it is time for something new and more relaxing as well. It´s like I am rediscovering myself, remembering what I used to like and what used to be important to me so this new version of Queen Carolina is more real and true. I know changes don´t happen overnight and things take time but I have patience and I do trust that no matter how long things take, everything will be for the best of all concerned.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

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