It´s interesting when your friends tell you "You look so happy now" "It´s so nice to see the spark in your eyes back on" and I want to say, yes!!!! I am back to being myself, the strong woman I was over 10 years ago when I decided to risk everything and move to the USA. Yes, I was fearless at that time and I am fearless now too!!! After my father´s visit, I have realized in this lifetime I am on my own, I am the Queen of my Realm (as Ava Park would say) and I am 100% responsible for what happens in this realm I have created.
As family members keep calling to see how I am doing after my dad has returned and talked to them, I keep giving the same message "I am fine! This Queen has her Realm under control and things are safe! Relax!!!! LOL, just writing this phrase reminds me of my father when he would tell me I should relax. I am relaxed and calmed and my decisions are not based on fear, they are not based on fast fiery feelings, they are based on truth for my realm, truth for myself and the best for me - Queen Carolina - who is coming out of the cocoon to be who she was meant to be, not the little barbie doll they wanted her to become.
Fearlessness is very powerful because at this time I am not concerned about what other will say or tell, I am just me! To the bare bone! just me and whether you like it or not, it is your problem after all. We are all free to decide what we want in our lives so if you choose I am not to be part of your life, that´s perfect! But if you want me in your life, this is what you get too, full disclosure :)
Last week I was able to have a very candid and honest conversation with my new boss who was amazed about how I could articulate how I felt and what I needed in the future or I would be gone. I was also proud of myself to be able to be clear and honest but not sound negative, just shed some light and walk away in a way (thank you Ava for that phrase! shed light and walk away).
Starting Sunday, I have felt I am rising from the ashes and my new self is coming out, a woman who is whole and is not afraid anymore, she is complete and powerful. She has total confidence in the future and the Universe to bring to her whatever it is meant to be hers so she is not fighting anymore, she is not pretending anymore, she is not trying too hard or pushing the river, she is... yes she just is and believe me, once you reach that level, everything makes you smile. Today, I was supposed to go for coffee.. then vote.... and I noticed I have left my wallet at home so I had no money or ID, and my car has almost no gas to get home. Well, a friend got me a cup of coffee and I was able to get home to grab my wallet before the gas light turned on so yes, Goddess is there, The Universe knows and you are safe. That´s the message I got today, I can smile and I can be positive because no matter how things may look now, it is going to be ok, we are safe.
The Phoenix is Rising, spreading her wings and touching our hearts so we know we are protected and we know that no matter how low you go, we will raise again and find our way. As I write this blog I am listening to the song dream on and I can only say....
Dream on, dream on, dream on until your dreams come true....
You have the power to create your destiny and your future! Don´t give up! It´s up to you... will you stay in the ashes or rise... like the phoenix. The decision is yours!
Presiding Priestess of Circulo of Isis
Note: Thank you Ava Park to show me the way to bring my Queen back up front! You have changed my life