Friday, April 27, 2012

Boiling Water.....

Do you ever get those moments when something sets you off and the fire starts burning and you feel you are about to blow up? All you can think is "Off with their heads!!!!" Yes, I am a very passionate woman and hot Latin blood runs through my veins. I have many times when somebody says something that sets me off or the person cuts in front of me on the road. Yes, we all have experienced the person that knows how to push the buttons and get us all fired up. Since I started working with Ava Park and her Queen Teachings, one of my goals has been to move from a reactionary place to a non-reactionary place. The Queen is not fiery, she is water, she is cool, she is a visionary and not a reactionary.

This is one of the hardest lessons for me so far because I tend to get angry fast and furious, and when I attack, I am usually the one hitting where it hurts the most and I regret it after because I usually say something I did not mean but I was hot, I was not thinking clearly and my Queenly reflective pool was just full of dirt floating around.... 

Today, I was at work and there was an incident that made me extremely angry. Yes, I went from 0 to 180 in a second. As I was feeling this I was thinking of water... water... water... oh no boiling water!!!!! I was so upset I couldn´t even think clearly but while I was in the moment, I kept thinking... where´s my Queen? Where did she go? Where is my cool as water self? My pool is getting dirty again and I am moving backwards... Yes, awareness is the first tool for change and men was I aware that I was reacting? Yes, I was. I could feel my heart rate racing, my blood warming up, my temperature raising and the fact that I was reaching the level of attack. I tried not to react and even though I did say a few things that were not my most gracious self, I was stating that my boundaries were being crossed and I was not happy about that. When I got home, I decided to go into the silence. I haven´t meditate in years but today I felt that I need to go back to that practice as I need to quiet the waters that were very murky and agitated. After 30 minutes on focusing on my breathing and being in complete silence I felt I regain my Queenly being and that I was cool as water once again, ready to try again and get back on the track.

Yes, there will be times the water will start boiling but it´s up to us to decide to not let it become a geiser exploding out of control. One of my Queen Laws of Life is that I manifest my reality and that if I change my thoughts, I can change my reality so taking this law into effect, I got back to meditation and regain my water self. I am 100% responsible for my reality and the vision for my realm. Each day is a lesson and today I was faced with boiling water.

Many blessings,

Carolina )0(
Presiding Priestess of the Circulo de Isis
Note: Thank you Ava Park for bringing the Queen Teachings to my life and being a wonderful mentor and an amazing role model.

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Law of Giving and Receiving

A few weeks ago, I went back to listening to audio books in the car. I started with the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz and I followed with The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. As I was listening to Deepak talk about the Law of Giving and Receiving, I couldn´t help but think about my life, my relationships, my activities, everything. It seems that in life, I have been able to give more than what I can receive. There was a time when one of my therapists told me when I am in a relationship I tend to give 110% so I don´t let the other person give anything because I give it all for both of us. How many times have I expressed affection so continuously that the other person my feel suffocated or when it is not reciprocated I feel like I am not worth it? How many times I have been the 911 for my friends when the emergency calls (Thank you Ava for this phrase!)? Since I started working with Ava Park and her Queen teachings, she asked me to say yes to all help and to be open to receive. This exercise has brought a lot of awareness in my life because not only I have the superwoman complex as I can do everything by myself, I also give without limits and sometimes the giving is not equated with the receiving.

As I started paying attention to what I receive from others, I started to notice that in some relationships in my life I tend to give and give and give and not receive much. Then, the question becomes why I am friends with this person. Is this relationship allowing me to grow or are we stagnant and we are just together because of time or tradition or the past? I am in a deep evaluation of everything that is within my realm and my friendships are getting to be under the microscope because I really don´t want to be the one driving the relationship. Today, I read in facebook the following phrase "Good relationships don´t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together." This phrase resonated with me because I tend to do all the work for everyone in the relationship. Yes, I am the one texting, I am the one anticipating needs, I am the one initiating most of the time. As an Enneagram Type Two, I have a tendency to give and be friendly but I am getting to a point where I want my relationships to be 50/50 or at least be equal most of the time. I know there will be times one person will be 70% while the other gives 30% or viceversa but overall, it should be 50/50 so nobody burns out, nobody feels like he or she is needy, and nobody feels like it´s begging for attention to the relationship. 

Sometimes it is hard to look at our relationships and realize the time has come to say goodbye but if the relationship is not fulfilling, if you are not feeling happy and growing with that person, sometimes it is better to just rip the band aid off and allow that space to be empty for new relationships to come. Giving and receiving is like a current and it comes and goes but if it only goes one way, it may get depleted in the end. If people take it for granted that they will continue receiving and stop giving, they may wake up one day to find themselves lonely and wonder what happened. No matter where you go or who you are with, always give because as you give, you will receive and be grateful for all the things you receive.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina )0(

Saturday, April 21, 2012

The Return of Snow White and the Evil Queen...

As I went to the movies the other day, I noticed there are two Snow White movies coming out this year - one being Mirror, Mirror played by Julia Roberts and the other one being Snow White and the Huntsman where Charlize Theron plays the Evil Queen. While I was looking at the previews, I was fascinated by Charlize´s crowns and I couldn´t stop staring at them, but then, it hit me. The Evil Queen portrait is returning.... Why is that? Is Patriarchy so afraid of the Queen that it has to demonize her once again for younger generations to remember the Queen is Evil? How many more generations do we need to go by until we realize that the Queen archetype is the solution for most of our problems? Today, I was talking to Ava Park during our Queen Training and she said that the Dalai Lama said "The Western Woman will save the world" but she believe it was "the Queen in the Western woman who will save the world." I couldn´t help but agree with Ava´s beliefs because I do think the Queen archetype is what we need in order to move towards a place of harmony in this out of balance world. 

The Return of the Snow White tale and the Evil Queen role goes to show that Patriarchy is seeing that the Queen is coming back. She is not evil, she is not bad, she is not a cold bitch; she is the leader, she is the impersonal, she is the powerful one who cares for her realm and wants what´s best for all of us. If patriarchy feels they need to demonize a symbol of power, it is because they are scared and they see how powerful this archetype can be. This archetype can collapse all the structures that they built for years. This archetype can break all the fear base power that has been going on during the past decades and millennia. Yes - they should be scared. Yes - they should be aware. Yes - they should be prepared because when women wake up the Queen, everything can change. Things will not be the same as they were before but they will be better. Women´s power has been feared for too long and it is time to bring it back. Let´s get out of our shells and even though the general message is that the Queen is Evil, she is a drama queen, she is vane; we, women, know the truth. She is the source of our power and she is the one that will help us manifest our vision and take care of our realm. She will give us the clarity that only water can give when it washes away all the lies, uncertainties, fears and other things that keep us trapped these days.

Snow White and the Evil Queen have returned to the collective unconscious but it is up to us, Queens of our Realms, to stand up and show the world what it´s truth and what the Queen is all about.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina
Note: Thank you Ava Park and the Goddess Temple of Orange County for bringing the Queen teachings to my life! I am forever grateful!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Messages from Nature

After weeks of rain, this week we finally have sun and I am very grateful for that! Yesterday we decided to go biking with my best friends and I was very excited. It was the first time I was riding my new bike and this is also the first time I had a bike in so many years... the last bike I remember was when I was a child and I was in Buenos Aires. You can imagine how excited I was; I even got a new helmet!!!! My excitement was a little short lived since I got a flat tired 10 minutes after beginning the ride. Luckily Goddess does not put obstacles we can not cope with in our way, there was a bike shop a few blocks away so I walked to the bike shop and got the flat tire fixed. In the meantime my friends came to meet me at the bike shop and after the tire was fixed, we started the ride.

Little did I know that the flat tire was just the first adventure of the night and Goddess had a few more tests for me that night. As I was riding my bike following my friends, I could see my friends chatting in the front and I was riding in the back since I am not 100% comfortable with the new bike. As I am riding, a bee sits on my glasses holding tight for dear life as my glasses are the windshield of a car. If you know me, you know I am very scared of insects and bees freak me out since one stung me last summer. As I am trying to keep my bike balanced I think what´s the best coure of action. Do I use my hand to remove the bee? No, then it can sting me. As I remove the glasses and shake them while keeping riding the bike I feel I am going to kill myself! I am getting off balance trying to shake my glasses while riding a bike... yep - that´s multitasking for you! Finally I got the bee out of my glasses and I did not crash my bike. Just had a lot of adrenalin pumping like crazy and I was wide alert. Neither of my friends noticed what was happening to me, he he! I guess I did not scream and kept it cool. When I got home, I read about the messages of bees. In the book Animal Speak by Ted Andrews, he says "The bee reminds us that no matter how great the dream, there is the promise of fulfillment if we pursue it. The elixir of life is as sweet as honey, and the bee is a symbol that promises us that the opportunity to drink of it is ours if we but pursue our dreams." Yes! That´s a wonderful message... wish I had been more tender to the little bee instead of freaking out... we are all growing and evolving, LOL.

When I came home, I started relaxing and prepared some italian food and wine to relax after the ride. As I sat down to eat dinner, I look out of the window and there, in my patio, close to my plants, there is a skunk. Yes, you read it right... a SKUNK! Walking like he owns the place, looking at my plants... Oh no no no!!! I have enough with the squirrels messing up my plants, now a skunk. I opened the window and screamed... "What do you think you are doing sir!!!????" My husband started laughing as he was watching the whole scene and told me he should have videotape the episode because it was priceless. This little creature just walk off like nothing, so sure of himself, so confident. WOW! My husband also started quoting like in the movie Fight Club "First rule of meeting a skunk... never open the window" Yeah, I am a city girl and I may look like snow white now but these forest creatures are not going to mess up with my herb garden :) As you can imagine, here comes the book again because not everyday we see a skunk walking in the patio. As I read the book Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams & David Carson, the following phrases really talked to me:

"Skunk... tell me the story, so I will know it well, of how to attract, and how to repel."

"Skunk is teaching you that by walking your talk and by respecting yourself, you will create a position of strength and honored reputation."

"Learn to assert, without ego, what you are. Respect follows. Your self-respectful attitude will repel those who are not of like mind, and yet will attract those who choose the same pathway."

"Walk tall and be proud of the accomplishments you have made. Bear in mind that what you believe about yourself is your ultimate protection. Project self-respect!"

The skunk comes in a time when I am working on self-respect, on boundaries, on bringing out my Queen and presenting myself from a place of confidence and high self-esteem. 

It´s interesting to see how many signs we receive if we are awake, if we are aware, if we pay attention. We can walk through life as zombies or we can choose to be fully awake and listen to Goddess. She talks to us through Nature, through symbols, through synchronicity. Wake Up! The time is now :)

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina )0(

Monday, April 16, 2012

Queen of Shadows

I´ve been participating in the class Goddess Rising by Lady Yeshe Rabbit at the Sacred Well and this week, the topic was The Queen of Shadows. When I was telling one of my friends the topic of the class, she told me "mmm that sounds gloomy" and I couldn´t help but think why would shadow work would seem gloomy to some, why the dark side has such a bad reputation, why it is scary to look at that place where we hide our challenging parts as well as our hidden power. 

Lady Yeshe Rabbit compared our shadow to a compost pile where we have lots of elements that are festering and transforming but there has to be somebody that looks after it so it can bear the fruit of serving as fertilizer for the future and to help us grow the seeds. The shadow is the void, it is the place of pure potential waiting for that seeds to come and grow, it is the space for us to create. Like a womb that allows a baby to grow in the dark, the shadow is the place where our latent desires reside. It is like an onion and it has many layers but if we look close, we can start peeling those layers off and making space for those great dreams to manifest.

Many times we associate the shadow with our negative traits... Yes, I am jealous. Yes, I am controlling. Yes, I complain sometimes. Yes, I have volatile emotions and I can get very angry fast. All these characteristics are part of my shadow and as  Lady Yeshe Rabbit said "The priestess is not one without flaws. She is actually full of flaws and her job is to work on her flaws and show the rest of the world that it is safe to do so. It is ok to look at our shadows and heal those wounds so we can evolve." That description of a Priestess really resonated with me since I´ve been doing shadow work for a long time and I am always in a continuous place of self-evaluation and adjusting myself to continue growing.

The other day, I was watching the show "Game of Thrones" and there was a scene that really reminded me of this work. In the last episode of season one, Daenerys faces her fears. She decides to burn her husband and let him go because he was dying and he was no longer himself, burn the bad witch who had tricked her into making a spell to keep her husband alive even though he was dying from an infection, and herself. With her, she carried three dragon eggs, the seeds of potential. Although people were trying to disuade her from getting into the circle of fire, she stepped into it. She knew transformation needed to take place and in order to do so, she needed to burn her fears away and transform herself. The following day, as people wake up, they see her and she has not burned, she is alive and three baby dragons were born. She faced her fears, she conquer her beast and now she has given birth to the future.

How many times you have refused to let go of something you knew did not serve you anymore but you were attached to it? What is holding you back? What is sucking your energy? What are your fears? Awareness is a great tool and it can help us see what we need to work on. We need to be able to be aware, to see, to feel, to let go, to move on so we can evolve. 

After I came back from the Sacred Well, I started a 14 day candle with the following spell written on it "I release, I let go, I surrender to the flow, I transmute, I transform, I am powerful, I am whole, I evolve". I know I will be burning that candle for over a month every day to prepare for my trip back home. My intention is not to make my shadow disappear but it is to look within, see what needs to be released, and let go so I can make space for the new to grow.

I invite you to be brave, to look within and find those aspects that are not as charming or pretty and work with them. As we release the energy tied in those items, we will have more energy to manifest those things that are really important to us. Don´t let fear rule your life. Live from the heart and be the powerful being you are meant to be.

Blessed be!

Lady Carolina

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Impersonal

The other day, I was talking to my best friend and he mentioned that there had been an accident near the dental place I usually go and that a father and his daughter died when they were run by a car. My first response was to say "that´s very sad; when it is your day, it is your day". Then I went on explaining how I believe that when we come to earth we sign a contract with the life experiences we need to have to evolve and grow, and maybe this tragic event was part of the contract for the driver who will have to learn to live with this experience and also for the mother/wife who will have to experience the sadness of her husband and daughter dying in such a horrible accident.  My friend thought my answer was very cold and almost heartless. It was interesting to hear him say "you gave me your Queen answer".  

"My Queen Answer", that phrase has resonated in my mind since the conversation because in a way, I did give my Queen answer. The Queen is impersonal. She is not going to let sad situations linger in her mind. She will look at the situation, evaluate how it impacts her realm, vision and plan, then execute. In this way, this situation did not have any impact on my Realm and I did what I do best as a Priestess. I went to my altar and lit a candle for those gone and also for those remaining so they can find the light to understand that no matter how hard life is, the show must go on and everything will make sense in the end, even the most tragic experiences.

There had been many times in the past when people have thought I was heartless, cold, impersonal because I would be able to look at my Realm and make the tough decisions. Yes, it was not easy to put my mother in the hospital when she was begging me to stay home but it was what was best for her at that moment, and it was the decision that was best for all concern. Sometimes we need to look heartless because we are acting for the best of all. The Queen can not think of the personal, she can not think of how one event impacts one person, she needs to think about how that event impacts all and what sacrifices need to be made for the best of all. She is concern about the All. She is concerned about the forest, not the tree.

The Queen is sitting at the center, observing, evaluating, and acting upon her vision for the Realm. It may look cold and heartless for the outsider but know she cares about everyone in her realm and she wants the best for all within her Realm. She will not spend energy in things that will not have an impact because that energy may be better used to hold the vision for her Realm.

The Queen is Impersonal and I am a Queen.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina )0(
Note: Thank you Ava Park for bringing the Queen Teachings to my life! 

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Inana´s Journey - 6 years have passed...

Fear, pain, sorrow...  As I look back, I can see that when the time came, I was not ready to grieve. When my mother passed 6 years ago, I was not able to feel the pain. I was not able to go down the cauldron and cry. Instead, I set goals for myself. Yes... at that time I wanted to become a manager and go up the ladder, live the American dream, have a house and a family... As I look back, I can see that those things were just the shinning things that tricked me from experiencing the pain and growing with it.

Today, I remember my mother, Graciela Haydee Borello de Amor. She was a strong woman. She was a pioneer. She was a protector of the home. She was my mother. When I think of her, I think of light, I think of beauty, I think of change. My life was filled with stress and uncertainty and I think that´s one of the reasons I am so structured, that´s one of the reasons I need to feel in control, that´s one of the reasons I need to have a plan. When I was a child, life was uncertain. My mother was bipolar and that means not knowing whether you are going to be flying like a bird or depressed and going down the spiral staircase into hell.  Yes... life was uncertain but it did make me the woman I am today. A strong Queen, a powerful Priestess, a fair Leader, a loving Woman, a passionate Being. She showed me that I could cope with everything that came my way. I could be the woman she had not been able to be. I could do the things she  had not been able to do like travel to other countries, take a plane, and enjoy the world. 

Sometimes, I get sad and I think of all the things I will not be able to share with her. I can not show her my new world, my new place, my new country. I can not show her how happy I am looking at the hills and feeling the sea air caressing my face. I will not be able to make her a grandmother and when the time comes, I will not have my mother by my side in that very important rite of passage day. Yes... there will be things I will not be able to share with my mother in the physical realm, but I know she is with me always as I wake up and go to work; as I work out in the gym; as I cook dinner in my home. Yes... she would be proud to see the woman I am and I know that she is always with me. 

I can´t believe it´s been 6 years.... Mother - I honor you wherever you are and know I am ok. I am a strong Woman, a beloved Queen, and a visionary Priestess.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina )0(

Saturday, April 7, 2012

A Better Future starts with a Better Now

Sometimes we wonder why our visions don´t come to reality, we wonder why even though we plan and visualize things don´t come to life, and we are left with a wish that never comes true. The other day as I was working on the Queen materials Ava Park wrote, I noticed she mentioned that the Queen is the one who visions for the now moment because the future does not exist and it will never come. She said we are taught to believe that we vision for a better future but in doing so we don´t realize that the future is always something far away and that will not come. It is like those people who say they will start the diet on Monday... Monday keeps coming but it´s never the right Monday.

The same concept applies to the phrase "I will be happy when...", you can complete the phrase... I will be happy when I have more money, I will be happy when I have a bigger house, I will be happy when I have a better job, the list goes on and on and I am sure you can add a few more items to it. The point is that we will never be happy now, we are always looking for something else and believe we will be happy when. We can choose to be happy now! We can choose to live the life we want now! We don´t need to wait, we can be who we want to be right here, right now. 

Visioning is great but we do not need to vision for the future, we need to vision for the now moment and live the life we want to live right now. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Today, we are alive and we can choose to be happy, to be enough, to be perfect just as we are. One of my Queen laws is "My thoughts manifest my reality. If I can change my reality if I change my thoughts." If I choose to think I am happy and my life is just what I want it to be right now, I can manifest that.

Vision for the Now Moment! A Better Future starts with a Better Now. It is your choice.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina )0(

Monday, April 2, 2012

The Four Agreements - A Review

During this Mercury Retrograde period, I decided to review the book the Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. The last time I had read this book was a little over three years ago when I was a manager and I was working really hard on internalizing these four agreements. Each agreement contains an essential concept that can change your life. The First Agreement - Be Impecable with your Word - is like a mantra that should be used during Mercury Retrograde periods because we usually misunderstand the messages or get something twisted in the middle. Being impeccable with our word means that we carefully choose our words and comments making sure that the message they convey is the one we want to deliver and not one that comes from anger, from guilt, from resentment, from any other emotion you can think of that can taint your words. The Second Agreement - Don´t Take Anything Personally - is also a great practice to have because most of the time we want to make everything about us. We are walking down the street and somebody looked at us and we make a story in our heads about what that person must have thought. A friend talks to us cold and we think they are upset with us instead of thinking that he or she may be having a bad day himself or herself. The list can go on and on and I am sure you can find many instances when you have taken things personally that had nothing to do with you. Can you think of a time when you were offended by an action that had no connection with you? And even if the person is intending to give you a message that you believe is not true, don´t take it personally. Know that those are the opinions of others and you don´t need to take them in. Just observe and let them go because those don´t belong to you. The Third Agreement - Don´t Make Assumptions - is simple but complicated. Yes! You may think this is an oxymoron because how can something be simple and complicated at the same time? Let me explain my words. It is simple to say I will not make any assumptions from now on but it is so complicated to bring it to life. We walk on this earth making assumptions left and right. He said hi this way so he must be angry. He smile at me so he must like me. She closed the door so she must be pretty upset. Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions!!!!! If we are able to not make any assumptions and just ask the questions and speak from a place of honesty and integrity, the world would be a better place to live in. The last but not least Agreement - Always Do Your Best - is the one that ties all the others together because if we live each day as if it is our last on Earth and we do our best, things would definitely be much different than they are today. We also need to understand that our best one day may be different from our best another day. My best on the days that I am sick are not the same as my best on the days I am feeling full of energy. It is also acceptance of ourselves and love for ourselves that allow us to know that no matter what, we are always trying to do our best. These Four Agreements seem very simple to understand but believe me, they are hard to keep. We are programmed in a world that believes in the book of laws (the rules of society), the judge and the victim. These three items play a major role in preventing us from living these agreements and it takes strength and will to say no to the conditioning and yes to these agreements. These agreements can change your life if you incorporate them in your every day activities. They can allow you to create your own dream instead of living the dream of the planet. You are the creatrix of your own destiny, the captain of your ship, the ruler in your life. Start today and you will not regret it. You will see your life transform in your life and become what you want it to be and not what others want you to be. Many blessings, Lady Carolina )0(