Sunday, February 28, 2010

Full Moon Messages

Full Moons are very powerful times. Not only they illuminate areas in our life, they also allow us to complete a cycle and move to the next. With every Full Moon, we complete what we started in the New Moon, and we prepare for the next stage.

From the last Full Moon in Leo on January 29 till this Full Moon in Virgo, I feel like I have gone to the bottom of the cauldron and I am slowly emerging now. February was a month of changes, of obstacles, of challenges, but also of rewards and happiness. I think it was like being on a scale trying to achieve balance between the positive and the negative in life. The positive things were visiting the Isis Oasis Temple and making the connection with some strong Goddess women, reading other Priestesses autobiographies and learning about their journeys, and also meeting other Priestesses. On the negative side, I had my car broken into which felt like somebody tearing me apart, I am not sure if it was because it took me to the past when violence was around me and I did not have any power to stop it or feel like it was not an attack to me but to the car. I was also sick during this period and that made me feel how vulnerable I am and how at times, I need to take time for myself and nourish myself.

Work and school presented challenges as well, and help me confront the issue that has always been my shadow. The fact that I feel no matter what I do, I am never enough. Yesterday, I had a reading with Z Budapest, and the Devil card came up. When I saw it, I knew the Devil is within me when I feel like I am not enough and I need to push myself obsessively to do more so I can feel I am enough, a new degree, a new class, a new book, a new training... more, more, more, do, do, do so I feel like if I have all these things to prove that I am enough, I will be able to rest. I know I need to work in accepting myself the way I am, and not because I do something or have a diploma. The good thing about the reading was that it showed what things as they are, and that my soul is like the High Priestess, I just need to let my soul guide me instead of my mind that may tend to go like the Devil into the small voice telling me that I am not enough or I am not powerful.

As a Priestess, this month, I started creating rituals for a group in Spain, and for the first time, I wrote rituals in Spanish. I couldn't believe how hard it was in the beginning since I am used to English for rituals. It was a great feeling to write a ritual for other groups in Europe. I just felt the magick flowing at that time, and know that my soul is fed when I do that. I also connected with some Priestesses in Argentina and I am loving the fact that the Goddess is reaching Argentina - my homeland!

Overall, this month has been positive and I look forward to the spring, and the energies of change for the next cycle.

Many blessings!!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Hardship and Spirituality

The other day, I was watching the Tudors, and Queen Catherine was mentioning that she was appreciative of the hardships in her life because that brought her nearer God, and she also mentioned that when everything is easy and happy, we get distracted and move away from our spirituality. Although I don't attune with the concept of God or the Catholic Church anymore, the words still stuck with me.

This week presented lots of challenges. First, I found out that I may be at risk of not passing the class I am taking at school because the teacher was not clear enough in her instruction, and took 15 points away from my grade. For the first time in many years of school life, I felt like I may fail this time. This was not a good feeling because failing was not part of what I believe my standards are. I pass classes. I have a 3.8 GPA while studying in a foreign country in a language that is not my own. This was not acceptable and stressed me out a great deal.

Stress is one of my biggest enemies since it allows my body immune system to go down and I usually get sick, so Sunday, I started feeling sick, and today I woke up with a full blown cold. This not only puts a block in my work out routine and my personal goals. Once again, the feeling of not being able to perform at the right speed or pace. This was not all, the universe decided to surprised me a little more. This morning, on my way to my car to go to work, I found out that my car had been broken into. The person smashed my window and all for what, a GPS. Now, I am paying more to fix the window than the cost of the GPS and to make matters worse, I found out that my deductible is really high so it will not cover the damages.

The question was, what do I need to learn about this? For the past week, I felt really near Isis and have been devoting a lot of time to my spiritual practice, making it stronger, making sure that it is a central part of my life, but every time I get hit, I can't help but ask, Why Goddess? Why me? My husband has lived in this country all his life and never had his car vandalized but I have been living here for 7 years, and plop, now my car is broken into and I feel I am not safe. What an ironic picture! I lived in Argentina all my life where safety is an issue but I felt safer there than I feel in this country.

Somehow, I know everything happens for a reason and the lesson may be to be grateful that they did only take the GPS and not the car, and that nobody was hurt. Like a friend in facebook said, the GPS can be replaced, the window can be replaced, but I can not be replaced.

I have to agree with Queen Catherine that hardship brings us nearer Goddess and our spirituality. What should a Priestess do? Just rest in peace that she is protected and that All is Well.


Sunday, February 21, 2010

Time to sort things out before Spring

Yesterday, while on my way to Isis Oasis, I was listening to a book on CD that I have not listened for sometime. This book is called "The Present" an it is from the same author that wrote "Who moved my cheese?" These two books are really motivating books and I usually listen to them when I need a push. This past week felt like another earthquake where I did not know where I am going but I felt that I have no energy to do anything.

While listening to this CD, the main message was "Live in the Present, Learn from the Past, and Plan for the Future" so I started meditating in how sometimes I live too much in the future that I do not enjoy the present, or have regrets about the past. Also, many times I feel I repeat the past without even noticing or I notice when it is too late. Several people say that if you don't learn a lesson the first time, it will repeat with different people or different situations until you learn it. I feel that I am a pro at noticing details but not as much as to learn the lesson.

Yesterday, I was able to share time with Loreon who is the founder of the Isis Oasis Temple in Geyserville, CA. She shared with me some of the stories about how the Goddess Movement was 30 years ago, how nice it was to see the movement evolving and seeing that one of the movies for the Oscars is a movie about Goddess and Nature - Avatar. I think that was one of those moments that I will always treasure and where I learned my lesson, because I was able to see that Goddess is always guiding me and placing people who keep showing me the way in my path. Everything has a meaning and now I know that I just need to sit and quiet down so I can listen to Isis and see what are the next steps so I can learn from the past, plan for the future, and the most important, Live in the Present.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Are you in Dharma?

It was long time ago when I was introduced to the concept of Dharma. Actually, it was one of my first spiritual teachers who introduced me to this word more than 12 years ago. I was talking to her about the Goddess, and she mentioned the concept of Karma and Dharma, I knew about Karma, but Dharma was totally new to me. She explained that when a person is in Dharma, she or he is living his or her life purpose and fulfilling his or her destiny. The way to know whether you are in Dharma or not was to ask yourself the question: if I had all the money in the world and I did not have to worry about money or making a living, would I be doing what I am doing today? If the answer is yes, then you are in Dharma. If the answer is no, then you should think about what would be the thing that you would do with your life when money is not a concern.

Why am I talking about Dharma? Because last Sunday, I was able to meet a great woman, a Goddess Priestess, the founder of the Isis Oasis Temple - Loreon Vigne. She is an example of what Dharma is, she is happy serving the Goddess and I could feel her energy as vibrant and full of joy as nobody I have met in some time. She is a radiant being and I can see that she has fulfilled her life purpose, that she is in Dharma.

The question for me is how to reach that level, how to get to the point where I can work on my passions and not worry about money. I would not want to get to the end of my days to realize that I did not fulfill my purpose and that I did not live fully.

Are you in Dharma?


Sunday, February 14, 2010

Be your Valentine Today!

Several years ago, I was creating a ritual for the Goddess Lucina and it was around Valentine's day. I decided that as part of the ritual, women should create a Valentine's Card for themselves where they could express how they feel about themselves. Love starts by loving ourselves first. We have a tendency to expect this from others but how would somebody loves us if we do not love or respect ourselves. We need to start treating ourselves the way we want others to treat us, and then that will manifest because, believe me, nobody will treat you badly if you treat yourself great. The opposite will happen, people will see that you respect yourself, that you have solid boundaries, that you reward yourself when things go right or you work hard to complete a goal; so then, they will start doing the same.

It all starts with us so today, treat yourself to some flowers, tell yourself how wonderful and powerful you are, have a massage or eat something you like. Do whatever you want others to do for you and rember that it all starts with you. Be your Valentine Today!


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Make you Stronger or Break You?

This has been one of those weeks when I feel I am going through an earthquake because everything shakes in life. My work life has been very intense to the point where I feel I am not doing anything right and I should be looking for another job. I realized this when one of my co-workers called me the other day and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "did I do something wrong again?" I've been feeling like every time I get an email from my boss it's like receiving a hauler from Harry Potter and it is going to open up and start screaming at me, then burst into flames. I don't think I have to say that this has not helped my self esteem at all since I am feeling like I am the most stupid person in the whole world.

It seems that I go in ebbs and flows like the Moon. It is not strange to see that the Moon was showing her Dark Face this week and I was feeling like I was hitting the bottom of the cauldron, going as deep and dark as I can go. Feeling totally depressed and drained. I had no energy to go work out and I was feeling like I had to drag myself to do the things that in the past I would enjoy and be happy about. Why this change? Am I cycling with the Moon? Do I need to go deep down so I can then emerge with more energy during the New Moon?

It took all I have to not resort to eating unhealthy or drinking this week. Instead of going back to my unhealthy patterns, I prayed, I did more altar work, more meditations, more connecting with Goddess and telling her that I need to understand why I am facing all these things, what is the message? what is the lesson? Tomorrow, I will be going on a pilgrimage to the Isis Oasis Temple for the first time in my life, and I am hoping to connect with Isis and meditate on what the next steps are. Sometimes, I just need to get quiet and listen. The message is not to go back to eating but instead, to find solutions, to find the answer of why I am so unhappy, what should I do to be happy? Change jobs?

This New Moon in Aquarious is asking us to be honest and truthful, to peel all the layers that are covering our true self and shine in our power. It is time to be honest with ourselves and speak our truths.

Some weeks are tougher than others, and this one was one that brought the message of what does not kill you make you stronger!


Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Reconnecting with my drum

Stress is part of our every day lives, and several times, I choose unhealthy patterns as a way to release stress. Lately, I've been trying to eat healthy and work out since I am preparing for a 5K and Half Marathon this year. I think that having a short and long term goal can help me stick with one of 2010 goals - be healthy and whole. It seems that at times, I am great at setting goals but not keeping up with them, so this time, I tried to not focus on weight or looks but instead of health and changing unhealthy habits such as numbing myself with food. During these past two days, I have been faced with several challenges at work when I felt I wanted something fried, alcohol or anything that can numb my anger, but instead of going through with the unhealthy patterns from the past, I decided to reconnect with my drum. Some people box, some people run, some people scream; I drum when I am stressed out. Why do I drum? Because it connects me with my spirituality, it reminds me that Goddess is with me every time, and that she is not putting anything in my path that I can not handle. It also brings me back to the topic of this year's blog - what should a Priestess do? Will a Priestess stuff herself with food? Will a Priestess drink till she has no more feelings inside? The answer is a big NO. A priestess will look for rituals that will help her connect with her soul and remind her that she is not here to do, but to be, and that no matter what other people say or do to her, she is still a worthwhile person.

Drumming and altar work have been some of my new tools to deal with stress. I am also using meditation and prayer, as well as more mundane stuff such as work out. So next time you are stressed out, what are you going to do? You have lots of choices! Just experiment and you'll find what works for you best.

Many blessings!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Changing yourself to Fit In

Next week, we will have a New Moon in Aquarius, and the message is that we do not change ourselves to feel that we belong; the more we embrace and express our authentic self, the greater the gratification and synergy we feel with others. Several times in my life, I have felt that I needed to adjust myself to fit in a group. For example, I had to think one way, or I had to say yes to everything. Sometimes it meant to just avoid that part of myself that said, just stay home today, you don't have to push yourself that hard if you are tired; but in the end, I would feel that the group will be disappointed, or that they would get angry if I did not make the effort.

How many times did you have to reject a part to yourself to just fit in? Like avoiding saying that the way a specific group was working on one situation did not feel right, but still, you agreed because if you did not, they would reject you, and you would have to deal with feeling like you are not enough, or people don't love you for who you are. If you study with one teacher instead of other, you may be making the other one feel less so you either avoid mentioning that or just not pursuing your heart because of fear of disappointing another person. Are you looking for validation when belonging to a group? Is the community asking you to change parts of yourself in order for you to belong?

The message again is "do not change yourself to belong." If people don't love you for who you are, they don't deserve to be around you. If people don't appreciate for all the beauty you have within, it is their loss. If people don't see that you are a Goddess within and being around you brightens their lives, then it is their problem. It is not yours. You are perfect just the way you are, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise, not even yourself.


Friday, February 5, 2010

Symbols and Messages

Goddess has interesting ways of talking to us. One of those ways is in our dreams. For the past three days, my dreams have been communicating what seems to me as messages from the Goddess. On Tuesday night, I had the dream where I was scared of flooding because I could see huge waives outside my house and I was frantically closing the windows to prevent the water to come in. I could also see a big storm coming, and lighting was striking in the skies. On Wednesday, the storm and the fear of the sea transformed into a happy relationship with the water. I could see myself in the beach with my feet in the water, and feeling how the waves caress my legs. It was beautiful. I woke up with the feeling that Isis was with me and blessing me with her presence. Yesterday night, another symbol came in my dreams. In my dream, I had a raven tattoo on my chest and I was in a very strange environment, somehow the raven made me feel special and protected. I know all these symbols are trying to tell me something, I just need to put the pieces together.

Talking about symbols and messages, it is compelling to see how many signs we get during a day, and how easy is to just not pay attention to them. Yesterday, I was in a meeting at work, and all of the sudden, I looked outside the window and on the sky above the hills, there was a cloud in the shape of a Goddess figurine. I couldn't believe it. It was so beautiful, so nice. It felt like a sign,and it was a sign indeed. Yesterday, I found a new mentor who will help me continue my journey to become a Hierophant in the Fellowship of Isis by providing me the teachings for the Magi degree. This person, as a sponsor of the Goddess, guided me to birth my first Isis Circle - the Isis Circle of Harmony and Light Iseum. This will be my first step towards serving the Goddess and the continuation of my Priestess journey. I look forward to what symbols I will see in my dreams tonight.

Many Blessings!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

All is well

I knew that today was going to be challenging when I woke up with my heart pounding because in my dreams, I was in a house located next to the ocean , and huge waves were coming towards the house. I rushed to close all the windows to prevent the water to come in but still, I could see it sipping in from under the doors, and flooding the whole house. Yes, you guessed it! My emotions have been running pretty high lately, and instead of eating my emotions, I have chosen to remain calm, and start to feel them because those wounds need healing, and it is time to stop stuffing myself, and start to heal those sacred wounds so they can allow more space for the new stories to come.

While on my way to work, I could see the fog in between the hills, and I couldn't help but think about how important is to be able to live in that Neptunian energy where we do not see or know where we are going, but we trust Spiritis guiding us in the right direction. Goddess will not put something in our path that we can not handle, and even those things that do not make sense today, may fit in the puzzle of life later on. I know it is hard to release the need to know what is going to happen next, what will life put in our ways, but at the same time, if we are to know everything that will happen to us, then life would be meaningless and boring. It is important for us to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that no matter what, we need to release the attachment to the outcomes we expect from situations and just let ourselves go with the flow, just let Goddess take us to where we are supposed to do, and to where we are supposed to be.

For the past couple of months, since I changed jobs, I've been feeling like Innana in her journey to the underworld because little by little, I am getting stripped from all the things that supported me before such as my confidence and experience until I am totally naked and there is nothing else to take away. Every day, I am challenged to do more and faced with projects I've never seen before and I have almost no instruction to the point that I get home and I feel that I am not good enough, that I can not do anything right, and that I make mistake after mistake. My self esteem is taking a toll and I am starting to wonder whether I made the right choices in the past. But then I remember, Goddess will not put anything in my path that I can not handle, and even this situation, as bad as it is making me feel, it is helping me grow and evolve. I just have to remember that She is guiding me, and in the end, all is well.