La Valija Itinerante - old philosophy, new meaning

Since I was a child, I heard my dad talking about having "la valija itinerante" meaning "a traveling bag". He always talked to me about not getting attached to things and to only have the things that I could fit in a traveling bag. When I moved to the USA, I did come with JUST a traveling bag and I left all my other possessions behind. That was the first time I had to decide what I would bring with me and what would be left behind. Giving most of my possessions away was a great experience and knowing that I was following my heart made leaving everything behind so much easier.

Now, I look back, and I see I have accumulated so many possessions and once again I feel tied down and just heavy. I feel that if I wanted to go back home, I would have to leave everything behind once again and shows me how I moved from heart to possessions. Many times, we buy things to make us happy or to replace the love or passion we don't feel in our lives. We numb ourselves with things and buy into materialism and who has the bigger stick or the newest piece of technology. Don't get me wrong, I love my iPhone and my laptop, but at the same time, I notice that many times I have replaced real feelings with things. The same happens to people who eat to fill the void or emptiness in their lives. When I moved to this country, I was lonely and I filled my loneliness with things but now that I am stronger and have settled in, I remember the words my dad told me since I was little "la valija itinerante" or the traveling bag. Is it possible to live detached from material things and with only things you can fit in one traveling bag? I believe it is. I did it before and I can do it again.

Blessings )0(

Four Days Left ... Bye Bye 2010

It's hard to believe that another year is coming to an end! What word would define 2010 for you? Do you have one word that can sum up the experiences for the whole year? For me, the word is Harmony. The reason why I chose that word is because 2010 was filled with extremely happy moments as well as extremely challenging ones. It seemed like a pendulum swinging from happy to sad to angry to content. When I look back, I can see every experience moved me forward in my path of growth and evolution. The positive highlights for this year are running a 5K, graduating from school, creating Circulo de Isis, starting translating the FOI liturgy, meeting Lady Olivia in person and becoming a Priestess Hierophant. My accomplishments for this year were quite balanced since they include body, mind and spirit. For the body, I lost 20 pounds and I am healthy and whole. In the mind realm, I graduated from college. Spirit is my passion and life and most of my work is dedicated to the Goddess and developing my Priestess path.

As I said before, this year's word is harmony, and there have been some ugly things happening ranking from getting my car broken into and my credit card stolen virtually. Some friendships that turned sour and shook my trust. It's hard to realize that some people are not meant to be part of our lives and let them go but if we don't, those relationships become unhealthy and stagnate.

Besides the word harmony, the other word that comes to mind is Roots. Yes, roots. You may be wondering why this word comes to my blog and the reason behind this situation is the fact that this year I realized for 7 years I shifted all my focus to becoming American - traditions, culture, language, everything; and in doing so, I forgot where I come from. I do look American so it is easy to blend in and since I decided to take my husband's last name - Boggs - nobody can tell where I come from, but this year has taught me that I am proud to be Latin. I am proud of my country and I am missing my language, my traditions, my blood is calling my roots. That's one of the reasons why I decided to dedicate my Priestess work to the Spanish speaking community instead of the English speaking community. When I look back, I wonder who many times I may have sacrificed who I was to blend in, to fit, to not stand out. 2011 is the year where I am proud to be who I am and if people don't like it, too bad... they may not be meant to be around or part of my life. One thing I do have clear is that I am not going to change myself to fit anybody else's expectations but myself, I want to honor myself and be true to my soul. I am done playing the game of satisfying other people's needs or structure just so I don't rock the boat. I am done with trying to fit in. I am who I am and it's time to let go of the structures other people have created and create my own. I have the power to decide, to change, to transform, to create. It's time to live my life the way I want to live it. Not based on fear or expectations but based on my heart and my passion. Can you say the same? Can you commit yourself to be true to yourself and just yourself during 2011? Can you let go of the expectations of society, family, relatives, you name it? It is time that people take charge of their lives. It is time to write a new story, one based on heart, fire and passion. Most of the rules we live by are outdated and don't fit the world we live in today. Just take time and think what you want to accomplish during 2011. This new year is just the beginning of a new road, a new path. You have the power to choose your destination but remember, be careful what you ask for because you may get it.

Blessings )0(

Holidays, Spirit and a Full Lunar Eclipse

When I lived in Argentina, December was the month that marked the end of the year, the beginning of the summer and vacation time. Here in the States, December is about holidays, winter, and shopping. The thing that both places have in common is that during December, I spend some time looking back at what happened during the year and setting some objectives for the following year. 2010 has been a different year. It started with preparing for my first 5K and finishing school. My Priestess Work started blossoming when I discover I wanted to work with the Spanish speaking community and started translating the FOI Liturgy. I initiated a Priestess and traveled quite a lot. It was the first year I spent my birthday alone away from home on a business trip and although it felt foreign, it was ok. Looking back, I can't complain about 2010 since it was a year filled with accomplishments and challenges but everything took place in perfect harmony.

Now that we are reaching the end of 2010, we are given a unique opportunity to finish the year with a Full Lunar Eclipse in Gemini on December 21, 2010. Eclipses provide us with the energies needed to cut with the past and start again. This is the time to let go of all those things that are tying you down and decide to live the life you want to live in 2011. Krishnamurti said "There is no path to truth, it must come to you. Truth can come to you only when your mind and heart are simple, clear, and there is love in your heart, not if your heart is filled with the things of the mind." It is time to evaluate if you have been living your life for others, doing things that society wants you to do or if your life is filled with things you love and they come from the heart. Time is priceless and you don't want to waste it doing things that you don't love. Live each day like it is the last day. Do like the Egyptians who thought people thought with their hearts, not with their brains. Start listening to what your heart wants and follow what it says so you can live your life fully and more happily.

Now is the time to let go of the past, make space, and create your future. Make 2011 the year you want it to be. Manifest your destiny and don't give your power away. You always have a choice whether you are aware of it or not.

Many blessings )0(

Happiness in Every Bottle

As we were going to Oregon for Thanksgiving, we stopped at Raleys to get something to drink and there it was, a funky looking bottle called Neuro Bliss with the tagline "Happiness in Every Bottle" (check it out http://drinkneuro.com/). Needless is to say that after seeing this, I had to try it! Yes, a type of lemonade that promises happiness and joy... As I was drinking a bottle of Neuro Bliss, I couldn't help but think how much of our happiness depends on external factors. This was another way to placing the focus of our happiness outside ourselves. Many time, people say that they will be happy when they have a house, or a car, or a child, or the perfect job. It's like we are always waiting for some external force to bring us happiness instead of realizing that happiness comes from within and that we can choose to be happy now.

In her book, Happiness for No Reason, Marci Shimoff explains how we should avoid placing the source of our happiness in things that are outside ourselves and just focus on being happy for no reason, just choosing to be happy. Sometimes people are unhappy because they believe that they need to be a certain way or have the mandate from society or their parents to be a certain way. Not being able to achieve these standards usually leads to frustration and unhappiness and that's when we shift and start believing that we will be happier when... you can name it, always an external force that will bring us happiness.

First, we need to realize that we can choose to be happy as we can choose to be sad and it is within our power to choose how we want to feel. Second, we need to realize that some of our dreams are not actually our dreams but placed there by society, family values and traditions but we choose to be different. We are not numbers and we have a choice so don't give your power to choose away just to follow the mandates from others. Question whether what you are pursuing is really your dream or whether it is somebody else's dream. If you find out it is indeed your dream, keep going. But if you happen to see that this dream does not belong to you, you can choose to let that go and start living your dreams. Don't wait for external forces to make you happy because in doing so you may waste your life waiting for this or that to happen. Instead, choose to be happy for no reason, let your happiness come from within and enjoy following your dreams.

Blessings )0(

Being Grateful

When I moved to the United States almost eight years ago, one thing that I really liked was the fact that in this country, you had one day when you give thanks for all the things you have. We usually take more time focusing on the things we don't have than giving thanks for all those good things we do have in our lives. Sometimes, we take for granted that we have good health, a roof above our heads, a car to move around, a family who loves us, friends who support us, a job, food on the table, a sense of security, and so many other things that we usually don't stop to think about and instead we realize we had them when we lose them. For example, a few weeks ago, I was really sick with strep throat and that helped me realize how I take my good health for granted, I never stop to give thanks that I can walk, that I can move around, that I can work everyday. There are so many people in the world who do not have that. The same principle applies to being able to have food every day and not having to worry about whether I am going to eat today or not.

Although it is great to have a designated day to give thanks, it is also a good practice to give thanks for all the things that we have in our lives every day. Gratitude generates good energy and usually tells the universe to bring more of those things into our lives. Many times, the things that take place in our lives are a reflection of those things that are in our minds, so if we focus on lack, we only generate more lack.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to drive through snow for the first time in my life. It was such an amazing experience! As I was driving through the border between California and Oregon, I started seeing little flakes on my windshield and I was like "is that snow?" It was such an amazing feeling to see the beauty of the mountains covered with snow for a person who has lived 2/3 of her life in a big city. I was grateful of that experience and the fact that nothing went wrong because as I was shifting lanes, I felt my car sliding and I was like ... oh no... don't let me end up hitting the side of the road like the car that they were pulling out as we were driving by.

Today is a day when I am thankful for being alive, for having another day in this beautiful earth and being able to observe beauty all around me. I am thankful for my family and friends who are always there for me. I am thankful for experiencing love in my life as well as giving love in my life. I am also grateful for those stressful moments in life when I feel everything is going wrong but they show me they are opportunities in disguise and let me experience my strength. There are so many things to be thankful for that it is hard to count them all but I know I am lucky to live where I live and be able to experience my life this way. Life is full of things to be grateful for if we take a minute and look around. Every small thing counts. You can choose to focus on the positive and let the negative fall away so it does not prevent you from living you life fully.

Blessings )0(

At the Crossroads

There are times when life pushes you to the extremes and you get to test your strength in those moments. Last week was one of those times for me. Work has been insane lately with too many deadlines, too little time, and a lot of stress. Everything is to be done by December 31, 2010 what makes that day feel like the end of the world because I am not sure how I can make it at this point without sacrificing my personal time off, and one thing I have learned with the years is that my personal time is very important and I don't want to sacrifice it no matter what. I need balance in my life and having to work 24/7 would not be my cup of tea anymore. There is an underlying philosophy in my team where people work till midnight, Saturdays, Sundays and sacrifice their time what usually leads to unhealthy patterns. I usually feel like the odd ball who does not fit because I value my health and my time too much and I will not sell my soul for a few bucks. On Wednesday, I found out that my co-worker who started at the same time I did was getting promoted. This was not a surprise for me since I had seen it coming but it surprised me that my boss would call me to the office to let me know. It was like she was trying to make sure that I would not blow up with the news. Luckily, I am one of those employees who is very clear on where she is and has no unrealistic expectations or a sense of entitlement. I knew I was not ready for a promotion and on top of that, I also know what a promotion means. Yes! You guessed it promotion = additional responsibilities and higher expectations to produce. I definitely don't need that at this time so for the first time in my life, I was more than ok with being passed on a promotion. I am usually a very competitive person and I don't like losing so feeling ok with this situation felt awkward to me since in the past, I would have been upset; but like I told my boss "I am very competitive but I also know who I can compete with." I can not compete with a person who has over 10 years experience in the industry because he definitely has more experience than I do. I am also at a time in my life when I feel like I am at the crossroads. There are options out there and I am evaluating them making sure that I don't jump into situations without considering all the consequences since I am not that young anymore. It is not like when I was 23 that I decided to get married and move to a foreign country without considering what I would do for a living, what I would do without my family, without my friends, with little support in a country that is very different from my home town. I did that once and although it turned out ok, it also implied lots of sacrifices and suffering to get to where I am now. I am a stronger person today thanks to that experience but I am also much more careful because I know I need to make decisions rationally if I want to avoid some of the pains that I experienced in the past.

I am also at a time in my life when my priorities are shifting. When I moved to the States, I definitely bought into the American dream - having a big house, a car, an important job that paid well, etc, etc, etc. Today, I feel that material things are second to happiness and health. I can have all the money in the world and be the most miserable person anybody would have ever known. Money does not buy happiness, money does not buy health, money does not buy love. Although I accept money is a part of our lives and it is easier to have enough, I don't think it should be the focus of my life since it would involve sacrifice and unhappiness. I know I could work 24/7 and make more money but would I be happy? I don't think so. Then if I suddenly died, what would be left for me, what would they put in my grave "She was a hard worker who sacrificed her life for a job to make more money." Instead, I would like my grave to read "She was a happy person who was fun to be around and that always shone her light and made other people's lives happier" In the end, it is up to us to decide what we want in our lives; to take ownership and live our lives the way we want to live them and not let anybody define who we are. I want to live my life from the heart and not from the head. The head is usually confused by the messages we receive from the environment about who we should be, what we should have, what we should do to be happy. Our hearts know what our souls want. It is hard to live from the heart but it is not impossible. We have the power to choose. We have the power to change the course if we don't think we are on the right track. We just need to face our fears and not let them dominate us, just choose and move on so when we look back, we know we did it our way and we lived the life we wanted to live and not the one that others expected us to live.

Blessings )0(

Defining Ourselves

How do you define yourself? When somebody asks you who you are, what do you say? Do you express yourself as in your profession or your roles? Do you say you are a mother, a father, a son? What comes to your mind when you hear this question? When I think of this question, I can't help but think about the movie Anger Management when Jack Nicholson asks Adam Sandler to describe who he is and he starts saying he is a clerk, and Jack Nicholson says "Dave, that's your profession, what I am asking is who you are?" and then he keeps saying things connected to his hobbies and his roles and he gets to a point where he is so frustrated he says "I don't know who the f#ck I am, you tell me..."

On Saturday, I was sitting at the Union Square park in San Francisco and a very old Chinese man came to my table and asked me if he could sit down with me. He had a peculiar appearance with his colorful tie that pictured a parrot on it, his white gloves, and his cane. He took a while choosing the chair he wanted to sit on and fixing his things. Once he sat down, he took a photo album from his coat and started looking at the pictures what made me think how when we reach a certain age, all that is left is our family, our memories, how much we learned, how much we loved, and how much we shared with the world, no amount of money is going to make us stop getting old or dying so money should not be the most important thing in our lives. As he was looking at his pictures, he decided to start showing me his pictures. His English was broken but the pictures expressed how much of the Chinese culture is based on achievement. His comments were "this is my son, he is a doctor; this is my other son, he is an engineer... my grandson is a manager...." Every word that describe his family was connected with profession and roles and I could see he was so proud of what his family had accomplished. The people around me looked at me like I was out of this world since I was keeping the conversation with him but my parents taught me to respect the elderly and always be polite, we can always learn something from other people's experiences. I had a good time talking to this old man and made me realize how many times, even when I describe myself as a Priestess, I am defining myself within a role so I kept thinking what would be a definition that would describe me without taking into account the roles in my life and I came up with this "I am a powerful, beautiful, intelligent, and spiritual woman" so if you had to define yourself, what words would you use? What would you say?

Blessings )0(

Balance and Harmony

Yesterday, I woke up thinking about how balance and harmony play such an important role in our lives. Sometimes, I can't help but notice how some people only focus all their energies in one area of their lives such as work and then they miss on the other important things in life. The same thing happens when we only focus on the spiritual side and forget the mundane. It is all about balance, yin and yan, and we can not avoid that. We can be highly spiritual individuals but the mundane aspects of life are still present and it is important to acknowledge them. Two years ago, I was one of those people; I was putting all my energy at work to the point that I ended up in the hospital with a very interesting heart condition. I do believe that all our illnesses are a reflection of what is happening in our lives and could be psychosomatic. When the doctor said that my heart was very strong but I had an electrical problem, I couldn't help but think that the energies were not flowing right. As he explained my condition, he said that the electrical system in my heart had a loop, and when my energies got into that loop, only the top part of the heart was working what made my heart go 178 beats while resting. At the time, I was working with my counselor and she asked me to draw a picture of my heart to explain the condition. I drew my heart and divided it in four parts. The top left quadrant symbolized work, the top right quadrant symbolized school, the bottom left quadrant symbolized family and friends, and the bottom right quadrant symbolized fitness. Then I drew the electrical current flowing from the top to all the heart and I drew the loop in the work quadrant. In the center of all quadrants I drew a circle symbolizing my spirituality that touches all areas of my life and heart. Looking back at that picture, I know that I have learned to live in harmony making sure that I give time to all areas of my life. Now that I don't have school anymore, that quadrant is covered with some of my personal projects such as translating the FOI liturgy but I still remain very focused on keeping balance and harmony as an essential part of my life since when one part becomes predominant, I usually tend to get back into the loop and that is not healthy for me.

As I learn to live in harmony, I am also learning to accept that not everything is for me and that sometimes, I come across disciplines that are not for me, and that's ok. Sometimes in wanting to do everything I lose sight of what I really want to accomplish so during the dark part of the year, it is my time to go within and redefine my goals, find those areas that I want to pay attention to, and let go of the others that don't serve me anymore or that I am not meant to do. Discernment and discrimination are necessary to make sure we weed those things that just interfere and we have time to dedicate to those things that are really important to us. We all come with our specific gifts and purpose so we need to make sure we don't derail from it. A week ago, a person tried to tell me what to do with my life, how to live it, and what not to do. Needless is to say that I usually don't take that very well since I like making my own decisions, even if those decisions will not be the best for me, I still make them since I will learn from them. This person reminded me of how some people give their power away to others, how some people prefer others to decide for them or tell them how to live because it is easier if it does not work out, then those people take zero ownership and blame others because they were just following what other person's instructions. If I needed somebody to tell me how to live my life, I think I would have remained in the Catholic Church, follow the 10 Commandments, go to church every Sunday, and make sure I confess all my sins. Instead, I have chosen the path of the Priestess, the path of empowerment, the path of ownership on making my life the life I want to live and not letting others make the decisions for me or control me in any way. It is not an easy path because when things go wrong, I have nobody but myself to blame, but in the end, this path is more rewarding for me because I am free to choose, to make mistakes, to learn and evolve.

Every day, when I wake up, I usually think "If I were to die today, would I have lived the life I wanted to live or would I have sacrificed my time in meaningless activities?" I try to live my life from the heart everyday so there are no regrets. I was reading a book the other day and I came across this phrase that really called my attention "When you die, only three things will remain of you, since you will abandon all material things on the threshold of the Otherworld: what you have taught to others, what you have created with your hands, and how much love you have spread." (Francois Bourillon). This is the reason why I don't dedicate all my time to just one activity but instead I find balance. I know I need to work but I also want to have fun. I know I need to clean the house but I also spend time with my loved one. I am a very spiritual being but I also laugh at myself and be silly at times. Balance and harmony are essential in my life so if I were to die today, I know I have lived my life fully and enjoy every moment in my life.

Blessings )0(

What's Real?

As I was running in the gym the other day, I couldn't help but notice the television screens and the different commercials that were playing on them. Running is the time that I usually don't focus on anything but myself and sometimes I meditate on rituals for the future or receiving messages from the Goddess since I am very connected to my heart at that time. The first commercial I saw was a Victoria Secret commercial where the words were "instantly adding up to 2 full cup sizes for maximum cleavage and fullness" and it hit me hard. The words were loaded and reflected our culture in so many levels. "Instantly" is a word that defines our times, we want everything now if not yesterday and instant gratification is part of our everyday culture. We do not want to wait, we do not want to work for it, we just want it now, we want it "instantly." The second thing I noticed was the fact that women were adding two full cup sizes... but what happens when you take your bra off? The two cup sizes disappear and reality hits. I always wonder why we live so focused on the outside that we don't mind being fake or not real. These days, women starve themselves to be skinny, they go through plastic surgery to hide their age, to add cup sizes, to be skinnier. Why can't we accept ourselves as we are and know that beauty comes from within and reflects in the outside? It is not the other way around. It is not being pretty on the outside that will make you beautiful inside and in faking our looks we are just allowing society to control us. Who is to say what is beautiful? There was a teacher that once told me "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" and we should be our own beholders and nobody else.

The other commercial was about butter, and yes, you guessed it "I can't believe it is not REAL butter." Again, another phrase that has lots of power. What is real? How do we define real? Who is not to say that reality is defined by each person and their perceptions. I always remember the movie The Matrix when they are sitting at the table in the ship and they are discussing how do they know the Matrix got the flavor of chicken right... who is to say what the real flavors are? Quoting the same movie, there was the part where the kid is shaping the spoon and then he says "reality is, there is no spoon" We create our own realities. We have the power to dream our reality into existence and when we realize that, we can work on defining what real is for each of us. Real is different for each person so don't let other define who you are, how you should be, or what real is. You can make your own path, you can define your own reality. You have the power to do so. Don't let others take your power away by defining yourself by other people's standards.

Blessings )0(

When the veil is at the thinnest

The wheel keeps turning and here we are, back on Samhain, when the veil is at the thinnest and we are able to connect with our ancestors. We are back in the cauldron of transformation initiating our journey within as the days get shorter and darker. It is time to start our descent like Innana and find those parts of ourselves that we want to transmute, let go, and heal so we can be reborn next spring.

When I look back at all the things that have taken place since last Samhain, I have a mixed feeling as it feels like last Samhain was yesterday but at the same time feels so long ago since many things have happened. Last Samhain, I was initiated as a High Priestess and I was lost in what my Priestess purpose would be. I received the initiation but I did not know where I would go from there. My teacher told me just to sit and listen, and that's what I did. By January, I started connecting with the Spanish speaking community and writing rituals in Spanish. In March, Circulo de Isis was born. In May, I started translating the liturgy for the Fellowship of Isis... one thing took me to the next... one step at a time. Three weeks ago, I was blessed by Lady Olivia Robertson on my work with the Spanish speaking community and received the title of Priestess Hierophant and Circulo de Isis became a Lyceum. This time, I know where I am going and what I want to accomplish in the next year; the things that I would like seeing manifested by Samhain next year. With a clear path and clear intent, I know I can make those things happened. As a Priestess Hierophant, I seek to nurture the inner strength of the individual, helping others to find balanced expression of their own uniqueness. In order to achieve this, I need to make sure that I also do my personal work. One thing I like is to lead by example. I couldn't tell somebody to do something if I am not doing it myself. I can not empower women if I am not empowered myself. Being able to see ourselves in the mirror and not deny the areas that we need to work on is part of being a good leader and a good Priestess. Many leaders lose sight of the purpose when they allow themselves to believe that they know everything, when they forget to do their own work and keep the checks and balances to make sure they don't go on an ego trip. We are all human and power can corrupt people. It's easy to fall in the traps of our own ego. That's why it is so important to do our own shadow work, know our weaknesses, know our shadow, because in that shadow is also our power.

Today, when the veil is at the thinnest, I allow myself to sit, listen and see with my heart so I can connect with the women that came before me. Who like me want to see a world that is filled with love, with beauty, with Goddess, with harmony, with equality, with power. A world where we are all equal, where there are not differences. A world where people are respectful, where people don't take anything for granted. A world that accepts all religions and where there is no a struggle for which religion is better or which one is the only one accepted. A world where children can be children and play instead of fighting in a war like in some countries. A world that is not controlled by fear but is empowered so each person can share his or her gifts fully. This is one of my visions. I know it will take a lot of work to make it happen and it is not a one person job, but it all starts with one spark. Let this be the spark that we need to change the course of this world and make it better for our future generations.

Blessings )0(

How good can you stand it?

Because that's as good as it gets. This phrase called my attention while doing a reading yesterday because it touches on how our perceptions and our mind images create our reality. How by focusing on the good we can attract more good into our lives but if we choose to focus on the negative, we will only be attracting more negative things to our lives. This is an easy concept to understand if we believe that we are all energy vibrating at a certain intensity and that intensity is what attracts things to our lives. As like attracts like, we keep creating our world. I always remember when Alice said "I create my own path" in the movie Alice in Wonderland because we all have the power to create our own lives and we are responsible for what we create whether we like it or not. That's why it is important to let go of the scarcity mentality that leads us to fight for resources, to fight for a job, to fight for food, we live trapped in the reality that there is not enough for everybody and that's why we need to fight to get what we want. With this mantra in our heads, society controls people because we live in fear and anxiety that we will never have enough, be enough, do enough... the list continues and you can see where I am going. We need to break this pattern and start realizing that Nature is abundant and that if we are respectful of it, we have unlimited resources and there is more than enough for everyone in this world. We live in the age of dominion versus respect. Human beings believe they can dominate Nature, they can control everything. Technology gives them the illusion that they are in control but they don't realize that Nature is much more powerful that any piece of technology you've ever seen. As I was reading the book "Awakening to the Spirit World" by Sandra Ingerman and Hank Wesselman, I noticed that the authors mentioned that Western people have assumed that the Sun will always come out instead of respecting it and honoring it. That's why many traditions salute the Sun in the morning because they show respect to Mother Nature and they do not assume they have dominion over it. As I walk this path as a Priestess, I learn to bless everything that comes my way, good and bad, challenging or easy, everything that comes in contact to me is part of my journey and taking the time to bless the things around us every day creates a sense of gratitude and respect that will in turn create more happiness and joy in your life. Many times we don't take the time to look at the positive things we have such as I am healthy, I have a home, I have a warm bed, I have people who love me, and the list goes on and on. If we would spend more time in gratitude, we would be less focused on stress and anxiety. We could even thank those challenges that we face as they are opportunities for change. Every change, great or small, entails death of that which was before and it creates space for the new. We are dying every day as we change and evolve. Everything is in the state of constant change and the only time that we become stagnant is when we died because energies move and shift, change and transform, die and are reborn.

Since we are always changing, we always have the opportunity to create our own path and paint the picture of what we want reality to look like. We can attract more positive things to our lives by using the tools we all have - gratitude, blessings, and visualization. You can live a great life, full of happiness and joy so How good can you stand it? Because that's as good as it gets.

Blessings )0(

On Rings and Value

About two weeks ago, I decided to take off my wedding ring because it was feeling very tight and as a pair of jeans that you try to fit when you know you have put on weight, I was trying to fit this ring on my finger when it was hurting me. This was the first time in almost eight years that I took this ring off so it felt weird at first. But this strange feeling made me realize how much value we place on material things and how those things have become symbols in our lives. Yesterday, I took the ring to the jewelry store to get fix and it was an interesting experience because I was there alone, my father was waiting outside. The lady behind the desk seemed rude - like I did not have enough money to buy a ring there. As I observed the rings, I couldn't help but notice how much value is placed on these rings, and the question that came to my mind was "even if the ring is $6000, is that my value? Is that the value of the relationship?" I never understood the concept of the diamond ring. In Argentina, we only wear the wedding bands. When we get engaged, both boyfriend and girlfriend wear a wedding band to symbolize the engagement. It's not the girlfriend alone wearing a ring that identifies her as "engaged", both of them wear the same.

As I gathered strength to ask this very unhappy lady whether they fix rings or not, I noticed that she was looking at me like I did not fit in or something. I asked her if they fixed rings and when she said yes, I got my ring out of my bag and handed it to her saying I wanted to make it a size bigger. First, she looked at me and asked "what material is this ring?" Like I handed a sterling silver ring. In my head, I was like... really? Do you need to ask? This is your job and everyone knows that you look inside the ring to see the material since it is branded... I answered the question and then she asked me if I knew what size I needed, and I responded a size bigger. To that response, she looked at me and said... "is this for you?" Like she could not believe I was married or something so I told her that it was for me. As she measured my finger, her energy got better. I couldn't help but noticed she did not have a ring on her finger and I wondered if she would be one of those ladies that places all her value in a ring or a husband and that's why she was so unhappy. To top the whole experience off, she asked me if I knew the value of the ring and at that point, I looked at her and said "I don't, it's been almost eight years and I do not remember the price." As she wrote the number of the piece of paper, I couldn't help but think, "whoa, is that really the price of my marriage? Is that really the value?"

As I was coming off the shop, my dad asked me why I did not wear other rings like the people in this country instead of just wearing the wedding band. This question really called my attention since he is from Argentina but I responded that I was a simple person and I did not care about expensive rings, for me the ring is not important, the relationship is. I could have the most expensive ring in the world and be very unhappy so what would that be worth? When I responded that, he said that I had my great-grandmother's ring, a sapphire ring with diamonds around it. That ring was given to my grandmother by her mother, and then to my mother from my grandmother so it's been in my family for four generations, and what called my attention more was that I am named after my great-grandmother - Amalia and now I have her ring. This was very illuminating for me since this ring has meaning, it is part of my matriarchal blood line and it's been in my family for almost 100 years. Can any other ring equate the value of this one? The answer is no. This ring is priceless and that's the type of ring I would like to wear to symbolize my marriage or any other relationship. A symbol of eternity, of solidity, of union, of love, of family, of blood. We live in a world that values the material things too much forgetting what it is really important. It is our hearts and our capacity to love what gives us value, not the things we wear.

Blessings )0(

How much is your soul worth?

Today, I was talking to one of my best friends and I was mentioning how some people at my workplace looked so unhappy. They may make the big bucks but is it really worth it? While I was thinking about that, I couldn't help but think... I don't get paid enough to work 24/7 and even if I did... would I do it? Would I sacrifice my personal life for one of my roles? The role that does not fulfill my life purpose but pays for the bills. Yes! You guessed it! The answer is NO! Since I was in the hospital about two years ago, my perspective of life has changed. I have become more aware that I should live each day as the last day of my life, and if I died today, I don't want to regret anything. I don't want to feel like I made lots of money but I did not spend time with my loved ones, or I sacrificed the time with a friend to a work project. Life is too short to spend it in something that does not make you happy, something that does not fill you with joy, something that brings you stress and anxiety. That's why I moved from climbing the ladder to just having a job until I can manifest the work that will allow me to live my life purpose, to bring the gifts I am supposed to bring to this world. In the meantime, my job is just a job and as so, I am not eager to work till 11 PM or to skip my lunch. I am committed to cover my 8 hours and do my best in those 8 hours, but I don't want that role to become the only role in my life and bring unbalance to my life.

Money vs. heart seems to be a fight we all engage in at some point in our lives. It seems that we all reach the point when we are offered to grow in a career, go up the ladder and sacrifice family and friends to money or not have that much but have a more harmonious life. When I think about it, I feel like there is not enough money in the world to pay for a time spent with friends or loved ones, there is no price to those moments. Like a mastercard commercial, those moments are priceless and I would not changed them for anything in this world. The question is "how much is your soul worth?" If you were to die today, would making more money make any difference? Would having a bigger house matter? Would having two cars be important? I don't think so. Material things are that, material things only. Moments spent with loved ones or doing your hearts work is what matters. That's why I ask you to make sure you know how much your soul is worth and whether you are open to sacrifice your happiness for more money... in the end, when you die, your savings account will not be what you will be remembered for.

Blessings )0(

Finding Nemo

The day started with me walking on the beach and connecting with Yemaya and her waters. There was a mist in the air as the sun was coming out. I couldn't help but feel the power of the ocean building up the energy and breaking away. Like washing the old and making space for the new, I kept feeling the waves washing my feet. As I was walking, the Goddess made herself present and reminded me that She is always there for me, providing me with the signs and symbols I need along the path so I don't lose track of where I am going, so I don't lose myself in the busyness of life, so I don't shut down myself to my intuition and the power within.

As I was having breakfast with my dad and my husband, my dad said "look! there is a shark in the ocean between those two birds," as I was looking at the area where he was pointing I saw the shape in the distance. It was not a shark at all! It was a dolphin. Never in my life I had seen a dolphin in the ocean but here they were, and there was not only one but three! It was like the triple aspect of the Goddess has come to bless my day since that morning I was meditating by the ocean. The meanings associated with Dolphins are playfulness, being in between the worlds, friendship, harmony, and a message of well being for the good heart person. From all these meanings, the one that resonated more with me was the one of being between the worlds since the ocean sound has transported me to another dimension.

As we were going to the Aquarium, I couldn't help but think how we confused the dolphin with a shark and how in our lives, we have a tendency to see the darkness or be led by fear. While meditating on this fact, I saw a fish tank with Nemo what brought me back to that movie that is also connected to the ocean. I kept thinking about the different characters in the movie such as the father and his fear of the sea, Dori with her short term memory lost, the turtles, the sharks, each character has its own symbolism and can show us how we look at life in different moments in our lives. For example, when we are led by fear and let fear prevent us from doing things we may enjoy, we are living the father archetype of "the ocean is not safe" and we all have heard the phrase "it's not safe out there, it is a jungle, only the strongest survives." All these phrases are usually associated with the power of controlling people through fear.

Sometimes, I wish we were more like Dori and forget things instantaneously so we would not let previous experiences shape us and prevent us from doing things since we would never have fear because fear is based on previous experiences or imaginary things in our heads. There was a person who described FEAR as Fictitious Events Appearing Real.

Then we have the sharks trying to challenge the social image and not eating fish, yes "fish are friends, not food" and when I look at this archetype, I can't help but think about myself since people have a tendency to judge others for the outside or what society says instead of reality. The same thing happened to Marland, being a clown fish, everyone expected him to be funny. This situation happens to me all the time since I don't look like a Latin woman but I was born in Argentina, and I have Latin blood. The other day, I was in the elevator and there was a person trying to speak Spanish. When somebody pointed out to her that I spoke Spanish, she looked at me shocked like "really?" and I responded in my perfect non-American accent Spanish. I find it fascinating how people assume I am American because I am white and have red hair... The same thing happens when I say I am a witch. People tend to think I am too pretty to be a witch, or that all witches are evil. I find it interesting to break those archetypes and be a channel for people to change their mindset or vision.

As I look back at my trip to Monterey, I can see that one of the lessons was to let go of fear and live freely, be playful like the dolphin, be like the turtles in Nemo who were cool and free and let others experiment. Don't set boundaries that are so strong that will prevent you from living fully. Don't allow fear to lead your life. Just go with the flow and make today the best day of the rest of your life. In the end, it is not what we do or our roles that define us, but living a life filled with happiness and love, trying new things, and never being afraid to follow our hearts.

Blessings )0(

Don't Quit

Yesterday, as I was walking in Borders checking out different things, I found a book mark that really spoke to me. This book mark had a poem from Jill Wolf:

"Don't quit when the tide is lowest, for it's just about to turn.
Don't quit over doubts and questions, for there's something you may learn.
Don't quit when the night is darkest, for it's just a while 'till dawn.
Don't quit when you've run the farthest, for the race is almost won.
Don't quit when the hill is steepest, for your goal is almost nigh.
Don't quit, for you're not a failure until you fail to try."

During the past week, I was reaching a breaking point in several areas of my life but the one that was more prominent was work. There are times when I wonder why I am still there, why I put myself in the position of feeling like I am a failure because my boss makes me feel I am not good enough. Then I realize that in doing so, I am giving my power away and that she should not have that kind of power over me. I always try to remind myself that I am doing my best with the tools I am provided and if I fail due to the lack of direction, it is not my fault after all. It's hard to be in a position where you never know what is going to happen next and the way you learn is by making mistakes and trying not to make another mistake again. There are positions that allow you to be self sufficient but there are others that require direction. My current job falls under the second category and direction is what I am lacking. As I woke up this morning after dreaming of being lost in a school, trying to find my way, trying to decide what to do next, I couldn't help but realize that I am in the mists again. I am in the process of searching what is the next step when it comes to career. Do I choose what makes me happy and sacrifice some income? Do I choose what gives me money and continue being unhappy? I am at the crossroads and I am faced with different options, but the question is what option is the best for me, what option leads me to my life purpose and to bring into this world the gifts I am meant to bring.

When I saw the book mark with the words "Don't Quit" on it I saw a sign. The sign was telling me that even though I am facing the roadblocks and I am being pushed to the extremes, in the end, there is a lesson to be learned and I just need to stick with it and try to figure out the best route. If everything was easy, I would not learn anything. It is in the hardships where we learn how strong we are. Problems are just opportunities in disguise to get to know how powerful we are. So when you think you had enough and can not take it anymore, just think again and don't quit.

Blessings )0(

Where did my space go?

For the past two weeks, I feel I am jumping from work, to father, to husband, to others and I have not had time for myself. In the past, I would have put everyone's needs before mine. I would not have hesitated in giving away my time for others, but for the past few years I have been working very hard on breaking that pattern by setting a time to take lunch, make sure that I spend some time everyday just for myself - whether this is to spend some time in the sauna, write or anything that would make me feel like it is "my" time.

My time has been highly reduced with my father's visit since I feel like a mother who has a child. I know I am not a mother but I do believe I would feel this way if I had a kid. I know I get home and since he has been home all day, I want to entertain him and make sure his visit is great. In the past, the gym was the time for myself but this year, he wanted to come to the gym so he is even coming with me to the gym what leaves little to no time for myself. The other day I was showing him how to use the machines without being able to do "my" work out. It was fun to be riding the bike next to him and playing around but at the same time, I could not follow my routine. Once he went to the locker room to go to the sauna I felt I could breath and start my work out. I have a feeling this is the way many women feel who run from work to take care of their kids, their husbands, the house, among other things. For the first time, I could feel how it would be to have a child and how demanding on myself that situation would be.

I remember one time when I was a manager and one employee told me I did not understand her because I did not have kids. Well, now I have a feeling that I would understand better but I also know that it is in us to set up clear and strong boundaries, create time for ourselves, and respect our time as we respect everybody else's. If I had a child, I could use the childcare at the gym so I could take a breather and recharge my batteries. If work was crazy, I still can choose to take a lunch, relax and then come back. If I was in school, I still can schedule time on my planner for myself. Even if that time is not every day but at least once a week. I see many friends who are burning out because they don't have time for themselves and they find themselves struggling, angry, upset, like they are running up and down a big roller coaster. It is important to listen to our emotions and know when we need to take a break, when we need to put ourselves first so we don't deplete, when we need to make sure our boundaries are crystal clear. If we don't do this, nobody else will do. That's why I've been wondering where did my space go in the past few weeks. Now I know, I chose to fill it with other responsibilities but my body is claiming its space and it is time to set clear boundaries and make sure that I respect them before I expect anybody else to respect them.

Blessings )0(

Transitioning back from the Oasis

As anytime one finishes ritual and needs to come back to this plane, I am trying to transition back from the place between the worlds I've been for the past weekend since Friday afternoon. For months and months, I waited patiently for this weekend to come so I could have the opportunity to meet Lady Olivia Robertson, Linda Iles - my teacher, and DeTraci Regula among other people I admire in the Fellowship of Isis. Every year, for Columbus day, the Fellowship of Isis has a Convocation at Isis Oasis Temple in Geyserville, California. This was my first time participating in this event and I have to admit it, I was a little nervous. Not only I was going to participate in the event but I was also preparing myself to receive a public blessing from Lady Olivia, and my father was coming with me. Yes, you read it right! My father who comes from Argentina, who speaks little to no English but has traveled all over the world was attending the Convocation at Isis Oasis. My father has supported my Priestess path for the past few years to the point that he now has a Kwan Yin altar in his home so I felt pretty comfortable bringing him along. Nonetheless, I did not know what to expect and I was not sure if this event was his cup of tea and how he would deal with the magickal energies that were all around us in that beautiful place.

When we arrived on Friday, we found out we would be in the Neith room. Neith is the Goddess of Weaving and She weaves people lives creating opportunities for new beginnings as well as making connections and creating a network. Perfect room for a perfect event since I did make some powerful connections! The room looked magickal with all the decorations and it even had a spinning wheel so I felt like I was transported to a different plane. This room was definitely powerful and even my dad was amazed by the energies of the place and the room itself. Before leaving for the retreat, I gave him an azabache bracelet for protection (not that I thought something would happen to him but just for him to bring back to Argentina for protection), and on Friday he could not find the bracelet anywhere. Saturday morning, when he wakes up, the bracelet was sitting next to his pillow. Yes! You got it! He was a little freaked out about that. As soon as I woke up he told me "I think there are other energies protecting us here now". After that conversation, I went to the bathroom and this was my first time sharing a bathroom with everyone in the lodge. It was funny to go wash my teeth and say hi to people I just met the night before. People who know me know that I am one that needs her space and don't like proximity with people I don't know, but somehow, I felt comfortable with the people in the retreat so it was not that bad.

Saturday was a day filled with knowledge and power. I got to participate in two powerful classes, one about Isis of 10,000 names where I learned about numerology and how Isis came to be the Goddess of 10,000 names. Then, DeTraci Regula presented her book "Sounding the Sistrum, Rhythms & Ritual" and we created our own sistrum amulets!!! I highly recommend this book if you like working with sound. I really discover uses for the sistrum that I was not aware before!! After the two classes, I felt I needed some time to meditate and just be on my own. During that afternoon I discovered that Sekhmet has been calling me during the past few months since I dedicated myself to her and Isis but Isis has been taking the main role in my life and Sekhmet has been sitting on the side waiting patiently for her turn but as you know Sekhmet is not one of patience so she has set me on fire for the past three months, intoxicated me with the energies I am feeling and trying to say "you say you want to live a life of passion.. here you go... show me how you live passionately" This was a great discovery for me since I've been wondering what was going on... asking myself what Isis wanted from me with all these emotions and feelings that were coming up... Little did I know that Sekhmet was the one that was having her pawns on me and trying to claim her Priestess.

On Saturday night, we watched a play called Peace Pilgrim. This play was about a woman who decided to sell everything and start walking for peace. As she walked, she found that living a life of purpose brings peace for people and that we have derailed from our purpose by getting confused with material things. Many times we put material things first and without knowing, we sacrifice our happiness since money does not bring happiness and it is more fulfilling to live the life you were meant to live than the one that this society wants you to live. For me, my passion is rooted in my Priestess work, in being that bridge that connects people to Goddess and to bring Goddess to people. My tools are words and writing is my power.

On Sunday morning, my father and I participated in a gnostic mass to Sophia and Mary Magdalene. This was the first time my father had experienced a mass performed by Priestesses. There were four Priestesses and it was amazing to see how each supported the other. Coming from a Catholic background, it was amazing to see my father being able to participate in this mass and be fully present even when he did not understand the language. We took communion and I was amazed at how he would participate and make the Priestesses smile. Sometimes I wish I had his confidence since he was able to stand there and not feel any time of nervousness. For me, I am the shy one, the one that prefers to be observing but not being the center of attention.

On Sunday afternoon, I had to face one of my fears which is standing up in front of people and talking. During the ordination ceremony, Lady Olivia gave me a blessing for my work with Circulo de Isis and translating the liturgy to Spanish. When I got to the stage and stood up in front of her, I could feel butterflies in my stomach. There were about 50 people all looking at me receiving this blessing. At that point, Lady Olivia told me that I was already a Priestess of Isis but since I am working with words that if I would want to extend my service to Seshat who is the Goddess of Words and Writing. Yes was my answer! After that, I had to stand up and tell everyone what I was going to do with this blessing and I stood strong even when I was feeling so small and said that I want to be able to teach the College of Isis in Spanish and ordain Priestesses who can pass this work along in Spanish. It was a very powerful moment for me and I think I will never forget this weekend. It was amazing to see my father's proud face when I was receiving the blessing. It was as a graduation date, he had the same face!

One of the things I learned this weekend is that we need to put our heart first before anything else. Isis is the Goddess of Love first and foremost and living a life based on our passions and our hearts is the way to live it. We could live in our heads but that will not lead us to happiness. Living from the heart will. That's why I want to live a life of devotion, compassion, love and service. That's my calling and as I transition back from the Oasis, I know I am a stronger Priestess and I am always committed to my path and to live from the heart.

Blessings )0(

Like a surfer riding the BIG Wave

This year has been one of those years where I feel my life has been balanced between good and evil. For every good thing that happens, one bad happens as well with the same frequency. Like a pendulum swinging from good to bad to good to bad again. At the beginning of the year, I got my car broken into. At that time, I felt violated, not safe, and fragile. That event was balanced with the amazing creation of Circulo de Isis Iseum and visiting the Temple of Isis for the first time.

At the middle of the year, I started working on a translation project and I got scammed but at the same time, I got to travel to Buenos Aires and ordain the first Priestess of Circulo de Isis Iseum, a wonderful woman who has become one of my closest friends.

Now, I am less than a week away from receiving an ordination from Lady Olivia Robertson and yes, as everything amazing in life comes with the blocks in the road. This morning, I woke up to find out that somebody had been making some charges to my account. As I called the bank to cancel the card, the charges kept coming through and I could see my account getting drained. I could hear myself telling the bank employee "make it stop, cancel the card now" It was one of the most horrible experiences ever because I felt powerless and weak. I could not make it stop, I could not prevent it, I could not mitigate that risk. It just happened and there was nothing I could do. I was happy that somehow I decided to check the bank account this morning and prevent more charges but it did not make me feel better.

Lately, I feel like a surfer riding a BIG Wave, I can feel the power buzzing, I can feel the energy, but I also feel the chaos and become more and more aware of the lack of control we all have. Sometimes, we just need to let go and trust that everything happens for a reason, both good and evil, and that in the end once we ride the BIG Wave, we can get to the shore knowing that we are safe and fine.

Blessings )0(

Settling for a less than perfect life

There are days when I wonder whether I am settling for less than a perfect life or if I am living fully. As I was talking to my best friend about risk management, I couldn't help but noticed that sometimes we have situations we accept as they are, others that we mitigate and others that we avoid completely. In my life, when I look at my work, I am between mitigating or accepting but is that the way to live my life. Should I work in a place that does not make me happy, does not hold my passion, but brings me money? The same happens with some relationships in my life where I know the relationship is not the best, but I end up accepting it as it is because it is better than walking away. When I look at these situations, I realize every day I am making the decision to remain how I am or to change. I always have the opportunity to change if I want to. I am not pushed to stay in the job I am or continue with the relationships that don't fulfill me. It is up to me to make a decision to live the best life I can live or to settle for a less than perfect life.

Today, I went for a walk with some friends and it was the perfect walk. It was like a sign from the Universe saying... "you see, you can have it all; life can be perfect if you want it to be; you have the power" During this walk, there was lightening and that reminded me of the card "The Tower" in the tarot where lightning strikes and breaks away the old structures to leave space to the new. It was dark and the moon was shining and for the first part of the walk, the Moon was all we could see. Goddess was guiding us strongly. Then, as the sun started coming out, light started illuminating the trails bringing balance from dark to light. During the walk we could hear some coyotes howling and that was the first time that happened to us. It was interesting because although I felt a little fear, I still remained strong knowing that I was safe even when the situation was unknown. To finish this perfect walk, the rain started pouring, washing away the old, the parts that were broken by the lightning. As you can see, the walk was full of symbolism. Breaking structures, letting go of fear, facing the difficult situations, trusting the unknown, and letting Goddess guide you. Harmony is all around and as there is light, there is dark, as there is happiness, there is sadness. As there is fun, there is also responsibility. We can choose to remain afraid and not go for the best life we could live, but we also have the power to make the best of our lives, follow our hearts' desires and make sure that we live every day as if it was the last. Never settle for less than a perfect life.

Blessings )0(

Between selfless and selfish

When I was younger, I used to sacrifice myself for others. I would put everyone else's needs before mine. Everyone was more important than I in my mind, and by doing that I thought I was being selfless. As I grew up, I realized that I should put myself first. That if I didn't do that, nobody else would do it for me since I had to teach others how to treat me, how to talk to me, how to be around me and by putting everyone before me, I was just showing them that I was not enough or that I was not worth it. It takes a lot of effort to balance the energies between selfless and selfish to find a middle ground where you can put yourself first but still care about others.

Today, I had an experience that opened my eyes on how some people are not able to see anything but themselves. Some people may say these people just don't realize what they are doing or that they don't even think about other people's needs. For me, these people have a tendency to be only selfish and just care about themselves and if something goes different from what is expected, they can not accommodate. They can not put other people's needs first, not even once. Sometimes, making small sacrifices is part of being in relationships and caring for others. We all make sacrifices and it is up to us to decide whether we want to act selfless and put the other person first at times, or we want to just focus on ourselves.

The hardest lesson is to find the middle ground where you can give and receive. It is not good to only give, and it is not good to only receive. It is the flow of giving and receiving that keeps the energy circulating so it does not stagnate. If only one area of this flow works, it is possible that the flow will be depleted because nobody can give forever and not receive in exchange. The same happens with the person receiving. If he or she is only receiving, it will get to the point when things will have no value and receiving will not mean anything anymore, it will be taken for granted and not provide happiness or joy. Harmony between the two is key. Sometimes we can give 80% and receive 20%, sometimes it will be 60/40. We should strive for 50/50 so nobody is depleted and the relationships work in a harmonious and balanced manner.

The key is to be able to balance between selfless and selfish so you can put yourself first but take others into account as well.

Blessings )0(

Finding my Totem Animal

Animals have a tendency to come to us when we need their magick. Last year, on Halloween, I was dressed up for ritual and as I was going out my house, I looked up and there were about 20 crows were flying in circles above me. When my husband saw them he felt intimidated since it was like a picture taken from the movie "birds" but for me, this was a sign, crow magick was coming my way and I would better get ready to receive the message. Since then, crows have appeared everywhere I go. Whether I am at the pool or walking out to get some coffee, meditating or working out, all I need to do is look up and there they are, always surrounding me, always watching over me, showing me that I can create my world, that I can create my own opportunities. Now, even my friends see crows and remember me because they associate these mythological birds with my presence. Looking back, it makes sense that I would choose the name Morgana as my magickal and Priestess name since she is the Lady of Magick and crows are her totem animals and are always around her.

Today, as I meditated about crows and their meaning in my life, I went back to the book "Animal Speak" by Ted Andrews and read the section about crows. As Steve Jobs said "we can only connect the dots going backwards but not going forward." So now, reading the meaning of crows, it makes complete sense! In his book, Ted Andrews says that crows symbolize creation and magick and I have been creating and recreating my life since last Halloween. I believe the reason why crows are always present in my life is because they know I understand that life is about change and transformation, that it is ok to be in the void because that's where creation takes place and that's where we can look at ourselves and see what we need to do next and work our magick. Crows are also connected with watching events and always being prepared, adapting and changing, and those characteristics usually define who I am. I also associate them with being my protectors and always watching my steps making sure I don't lose track of what is really important in life, and that is my spirituality and devotion for my path as a Priestess, my role as a midwife for others to find their power, my love for the Goddess and my desire to be a bridge between her and the World.

As I was coming home from my standing meditation practice this morning, I saw three blue jays, and there it was, another sign. As I opened the book and I read the paragraphs about these beautiful birds, I discovered that blue jays are associated with crows, suprised? I was. The message blue jays bring is one of connecting heaven with earth, living a spiritual life in a mundane world, balancing spirituality with practicality. This is a hard task at times because we may get too busy and forget our spirituality, or too spiritual and get our head in the clouds. Harmony is key for working with these energies. The blue jay also talks about the proper use of power and how at times we may be abusing of power or being the recipient of abuse. In my position, I think I've seen plenty of people on power trips about spirituality, being the one an only guru, or the one and only High Priestess. This is a position I don't want to be ever. For me, it is not about fame, not about abusing power or manipulating others. It is about being a bridge between heaven and earth and bringing down the knowledge once I receive it.

Animals, birds, insects, all show us signs and messages. It is up to us to be able to decode them and transform those pieces of information from the Goddess into meaningful things. It is up to us to be open to receive the messages and also be open to accept the suggestions from the Universe. I know the crow is my totem animal and it will always be around me. Now, I look for other signs that can help me in my journey and as I remain myself open, I see more than the every day world, I see the messages from the Goddess.

Blessings )0(

It's all in the attitude!

This year has been filled with very powerful trips, and I feel every journey has had a message for me; a lesson to learn; some power to be reclaimed. My trip to Argentina showed me that it was time for me to open up and trust Goddess to show me the way, it was time to connect with my body and reclaim it as my Temple. To let the Goddess within shine through me and start connecting with my feminine side more strongly knowing that by being feminine I was not saying I was weak; that I could be beautiful and strong at the same time. During my trip to Oregon, I kept connecting with Nature and feeling the power of the Mother around me, knowing that she was with me all the time and that every time I need her, I can go to her and ask for what I needed. Last week, I had to go to North Carolina for a business trip. When I found out that I would be spending my birthday in North Carolina alone on a business trip to attend a conference on Business Continuity and Disaster Recovery, I couldn't help but think that Goddess was sending me some kind of sign. Is my life a disaster that needs to be contained? Am I derailing and need to get back on track? What is the message for this trip? Then I realized that it was one of empowerment and not that my life needed to be fixed but that I had reached a point of power where I could stand on my own and feel good.

The trip started with the need to assert myself and not let small things make me get upset. For example, when I got to Denver, I went for breakfast and I clearly told the waitress I wanted French Toast, but instead, he brought me pancakes so very assertively I corrected the order but did not let that ruin my breakfast. Then, on the plane, I asked for apple juice and I did not get it so I called the flight attendant and asked for it a second time, once again, I did not let that bother me but I still did not let things pass by either. In the past, I would not have said anything and just stick with what they brought me or did not bring me, but this time, I spoke up and sometimes it is in the small things where we see the change in attitude. It is taking baby steps that help us feel more confident and safe so when we face the big decisions or the big confrontations, we are still able to speak up and say what we think or feel.

This trip was also about trusting the Goddess to guide me since some things were up in the air when I left. For example, I was told to contact the hotel to pick me up from the airport and then I had no idea who would take me to the office the morning after, what is worse, I did not know where the office was and my remote access was not working so I could not log in to my work email to get the information. Yes, I was a bit stranded but I decided not to let that stress me out. I went to the front desk and asked if they were arranging transportation for the company I work for and they said no, but they put me through one person who was going to the office and I decided to ride with him since I assumed he was in the same class I was. Little did I know there were several classes going on in the company and I was tagging along with the wrong group... yep! I was ok, I made it to the office and got there on time and did not let that stressed me out. The same happened on my way back when I only had 30 minutes to connect my flights and everyone was making bets that I would not make it there and would have to spend the night in Chicago, but I released the stress and asked Isis to help me and I did make it to the connection. Just detached and trust was one of the topics from this trip.

Another lesson from this trip was one of claiming my power and letting go of the shyness that has always been around me, stand strong in my power and be confident. In the past, I would have not spoken up or socialize but during this trip, but instead, I went for dinner with some coworkers I just met that day to celebrate my birthday and I had a wonderful time. I was not afraid to speak in the class and be the spoke person for my group. I was able to hold the tension of being the center of attention. It was a powerful experience to be strong and be the center, not to feel shy or small or weak, and to be feminine in doing so. In the past, I would have hid behind the masculine outlook but this time, I decided to be feminine and strong. Even when I faced an awkward moment, I was able to hold the tension. Yes, it was an awkward moment!! Let me tell you about it. On my birthday, after dinner, I decided I wanted some wine so I went to the bar in the hotel and I was planning to get back to my room and relax with the wine. Since the elevator was a mess and I did not want to get down twice but wanted two glasses of wine, I ordered them together. As I am paying for my order, the organizer of the conference comes to the bar and sees me with the "two" glasses of wine, awkward!!! Then he convinces me to drink with him and the other guy that he was with since he could not let me drink alone on my birthday so I stayed with them. Two men became five men and me. They were talking about the waitresses in the restaurant, how hot they were... yep awkward! But I stayed there, very womanly but very strong and not hiding or running away. That moment showed me I could stand strong among men without having to become masculine, and yes, now I am the one known for the two glasses of wine in the Business Continuity Community... LOL.... They may think I have an alcohol problem.

Overall, this trip showed me I can be alone, be strong, be feminine, and not let things that go wrong ruin anything. It's all in the attitude!

Blessings )0(

Alone and Ok

Every year, as it gets nearer my birthday, I like looking back and connecting the dots - seeing where the road took me and where I am going. This year, when it started, my main goal was to love and accept myself just the way I am; let go of the need to please others and live the life I was born to live, not the one others want me to live. Part of being who I am was developing my role as a Priestess and finding my true calling. When I figured out that I wanted to be a bridge between the Spanish Community and the English materials, I realized that was my calling. I wanted to translate the materials that were in English so people who are not as lucky as I am could still have access to the materials and learn about the Goddess. This journey allowed me to meet some wonderful teachers and mentors as well as writers and Priestesses. I connected with Lady Olivia who showed me how to make my dreams come true and create my first Lyceum. I connected with some amazing teachers such as Karen Tate, Loreon Vigne, Glenys Livingstone, DeAnna L'am, among many others. Priestesses like me who are in a journey of self discovery and sharing with others. I love being able to connect with real women who have similar objectives to the ones I have and seeing we are all part of a whole.

This year was also about becoming healthy and whole. I ran my first 5K and now I am planning to train for my first triathlon. I lost over 25 pounds and my goal is just to eat healthy and live an active life because my body is my temple and I should care about it that way. Sometimes, we want to lose weight to feel beautiful but in my case, it was more about being healthy and I believe the beauty from within, the spiritual light and spark of Goddess that shines through me is enhanced by my healthy living.

It is interesting that this year, for the first time in my whole life, I find myself in a strange place, all alone, for my birthday, on a work trip for a Business Continuity and Disaster Recovery Symposium. Yes! What a topic!!! Just what I want to think about in my bday. If a shooter enters the building.... if a bomb goes off... how would I tell the family of the people who died.... how do you communicate with the press? Wonderful topics to make you feel happy and content, bday material! Yesterday, as I was talking to my husband, I was singing Celine Dion's song "all by myself, don't want to be" and talking about spending my bday alone. Then I realized, this is it!!! I've been talking about accepting myself just the way I am, loving myself for who I am, and not feeling like I need other people's acceptance or depend on others. This is the perfect opportunity to be all alone and be happy because I am my best companion. Being alone allows me to see who I really am and make sure that I can see where I am going, and if I am not happy spending my bday with myself.. who would be?

This trip is turning to be a blessing in disguise because it is allowing me the time to be by myself, evaluate, plan and draft the course for the next year. With my ordination as Hierophant taking place in less than a month I know that more responsibility will come as I promise the Goddess that I am committed to be a Priestess and to my path. I am very thankful for all that has happened this summer because I was able to honor my needs, to accept myself as I am and to let go of those people who were not meant to be in my life anymore. Today, as I am sitting in a hotel room in a place I've never been before on the day before my bday, I am at peace, I feel that I am where I am supposed to be and that I am who I am supposed to be. I feel happy, I am smiling, and as in the movie 13 going 30 said "I am thirty, and flirty, and thriving"

Blessings )0(

Symbols and Meaning

The American Heritage Dictionary defines symbol as "Something that represents something else by association, resemblance, or convention." When I read this definition, I can't help by think how some symbols became associated with certain notions. For example, when I see a pentacle, I see a symbol that represents the four elements -air, fire, water, and earth- and the Spirit in the center representing the notion of the Supreme Being or the Divine. When a Catholic person sees the pentacle, he or she sees the symbol of the Devil, something to conjure evil instead of a symbol of protection and power. With the same token, when I see a cross, I used to see the symbol of Christ, the pain of the cross, the symbol of death and redemption. Since I became a Witch, I stopped wearing crosses because they symbolized the past and I became very reluctant to symbology that was associated with the Catholic religion. Crosses and rosaries were symbols I did not want around because I associated with the religion that transformed the Goddess into a demon, that took all our holidays and rename them to make them Christian, that burned lots of women because they had power, they have the knowledge of the herbs and healing, and because they were a threat to the system.

My mom, who was a devoted Catholic, tried to bring me back to the Church when she discovered that I had taken the "wrong" turn and became a Witch. She used to give me rosaries, bibles, and many other Catholic symbols for me to go back to "normal". I still remember the day I gathered all the rosaries and crosses and give them back to her saying that I respected her religion but that those symbols were not part of my life anymore. I think that was the day she understood how important my religion was for me. I was 20 at the time. Now looking back, I realized that I was doing something similar to what Catholic people do to our Pagan symbols, I was rejecting them, considering bad, not wanting them around for what they symbolized. Luckily, I kept two of my mother's rosaries, and this year, after my car got broken into, I decided to place my mother's rosary in my car because it meant she was looking after me from wherever she is now. She is my angel and that rosary symbolizes her energy and not the energies of the Church I left behind.

The same happened to me when a very very dear friend of mine gave me a cross to wear a few weeks ago as a token of our friendship and to protect me. I did not think twice before putting the cross on even though I hadn't worn a cross in more than 15 years, but this cross meant so much to me. It meant all the affection I have for this friend and I don't mind wearing. It is funny to see the reactions I get from some of my witchy friends who think I am converted or they start wondering what is wrong with me... Again, symbols are symbols and it is up to us the meaning we give to them. It is time for all of us to shed some light in some of the symbols that have been assigned the wrong meaning. Claiming our symbols is like claiming words like Witch. We need to stand up and be able to show the world that we are ready to claim our symbols too and disperse the veil that has covered them for ages. A cross usually represents the four elements with the Divine in the center and we also have Bridgit Crosses, but we tend to forget this. It is our time to rediscover our symbols and assign new meanings to them.

Symbols are just symbols and it is up to us the meaning we decide to give them.

Blessings )0(

Uniqueness - The New Battle

As I continue reading about Male Mysteries, I can't help but realize that both men and women have been conditioned by society to follow a certain set of standards. Women are supposed to be passive, weak, and fragile while men are supposed to be strong, aggressive and show no emotions. These rules were set in the past based on what people were experiencing. In the book "Fire in the Belly - On Being a Man" by Sam Keen, he mentions that men have been conditioned by the fact that they are not able to create from their bodies like women can so they try creating technology and artificial things to feel like they can create as well. He also mentions that women's rites of passage are natural and marked by natural processes in our bodies such as being born, menstruation, motherhood, and then menopause while men rites of passage are determined by time and the rules of the tribe. In some cultures, in order to become a man, the boy needs to go into the forest and kill a dangerous animal. That situation will probe that he is a man. These rites are designed to mark the passage from boyhood to manhood and to become part of the tribe and lose the person's individuality. Everyone goes through the same rite, every man does the same and in doing so, he may lose himself and become part of the tribe. The question remains on who came up with the set of characteristics one needs to have to be a man or a woman. Who decided what makes a person a man or a woman? Can't those people get it all wrong? It seems that at times we are supposed to be all the same and fit one set of standards but in doing so we forget those things that make us unique. Not everyone likes vanilla ice-cream, some people like chocolate, some people like cherry... It is time to define ourselves by our own standards and not by the standards that society has conditioned us to believe we need. There are not two people alike in this world and although they may have led us to believe we are all the same, like machines, in the core we are not. The other day I was swimming in the pool and I noticed that I was the only one swimming differently. Everyone else was swimming the same way but I was different. This situation made me realize I am proud of being unique, I don't need to follow the crowd, I am my own person. I can be different, I can be bold, I can be unique and that's ok because in that uniqueness, I bring something to this world that nobody else brings. If we were all to be ourselves and let go of all conditioning, I think the world would be a better place to live. People would be happier, healthier, and stronger because they would not have to pretend they want what society says they should want, they would just do what they want to do and are born to do. Think about it. Society does not want to allow people that type of freedom because if you are free, you can not be controlled. It is easier to control people who all feel the same because they are conditioned to do so. Be brave! Be bold! Be who you were born to be and not the one that they conditioned you to be!

Blessings )0(

Ownership and Choice

Everyday, I wake up and I take a card to guide me during the day. Today, I got the "Thunderbird Clan" card. This card talks about imminent changes and rebuilding, like the phoenix rising from the ashes or the destruction that needs to take place before the new beginnings can take place. When I saw this card I couldn't help but think... well I've been going through changes for the past few months... now what? Little did I know that I was going to find some surprises at work! First, I found out that a person who does not work really hard may be getting promoted what really made me upset. I don't mind people getting promoted but the fact that many times men get promoted when they don't work hard enough and women who work their butt off don't really triggers me. It's like getting slapped on the face by patriarchy in a sense. Second, I found out I am moving for the third time in a period of one year... Maybe I should keep my things in boxes since I move more than I have ever moved in my whole life! And having been with this company for 5 years, I have tons of things that I am packing and unpacking, packing and unpacking.... My first reaction to these news was to get very upset, to start thinking about how I am not giving projects to grow, that my projects are not helping me learn about my role but instead I am like a secretary setting up meetings and building binders for training, working on setting up a new system for my team to track different things, etc. After rambling for a while, I realized I am not a victim here. It is my choice to grow or not to grow with the company. For the past few months I've been saying I don't want to get promoted because being promoted means having to work 24/7 and that type of living does not fit my needs anymore. I need to have harmony in my life and I am not about to sacrifice my free time to go up the ladder. That ladder does not lead me to happiness instead of happiness leads me to the hospital - at least that is where I ended last time I was climbing.

Sometimes it is easier to blame others for things we don't get, to say we are not given opportunities, to blame the devil or evil forces for our problems, but that is not my path. My path is one of ownership and I know that my life is the reflection of the things I want to manifest. It is a reflection of what I want and create in my mind. The energies are just adjusting to my desires and that's why I have to be very careful what I wish for since it may come true. When I chose to become a Priestess, I also chose to have time to do my spiritual work and that means that my work was just a job and my passion is my Priestess work. It is time to find a way to bridge the two but in the meantime, I will just continue knowing that work is just work and that it is my choice to remain where I am and if I want to change, I can definitely do so. No victim mentality. No rambling. Just ownership and choice.

Blessings )0(

Just Surrender

The other day, I was swimming under the Moon and all of the sudden I realized I should stop pushing and just let the water carry me, take me, literally going with the flow. When I was doing this, I couldn't help but think how many times in my life I had pushed the river and try to go against the current just because I was stubborn or scared of the unknown or did not trust the future. Many times, we find ourselves pushing instead of surrendering and trusting. It is hard to let go of needing to control situations or people, but if we allow ourselves to surrender we can go with the flow and let it take us to where we need to go. Trust is a key word. Trust the Divine. Trust the Plan. Trust that you are where you are supposed to be with the people you are supposed to be to help you grow and evolve. If you trust, you are able to surrender and live the life you are meant to live. When stress hits you, then you can take a deep breath and just know that this too shall pass. The lessons presented to us are the ones we need to learn and the Divine knows that we have the tools to deal with them. It is hard to develop that type of trust when all we see on television is bad news, the world is a negative place, and people tend to see the glass half empty. It is our choice to see the glass half full and stop pushing and see what happens. In his book, The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success, Deepak Chopra has one of the laws as "The Law of Least Effort". When I think about this law I think about the principle of surrendering because we do not need to be pushing all the time. Like all things in nature, plants don't work hard to grow, they just grow. The river flows without any effort. We can live using the same principle, we don't need to go against the current, we just need to use the least effort and let our internal compass guide us to where we need to go; tune out all distractions and just pay attention to our heart since our heart knows what is best for us.

Mercury, the planet who rules communications and technology, stationed retrograde on August 20 and it will turn direct on September 12. Retrograde periods are special for surrendering because things seem to go wrong. Communications get impacted and people do not understand the message as it is supposed to be understood but something totally different. This time is bad for signing contracts or making agreements since we have a tendency to not see the small print or sign something that we may regret in the future. Technology is impacted and you can find yourself swearing at the computer because it freezes out or systems don't work, websites are down, and there are blockages everywhere. When you face opposition or blocks, just let go, surrender and meditate. Like the Hanged Man card in the Tarot, these are times to just stop and do "NO" action. These are also times when we can go back and evaluate the decisions we took in the past, see what has worked, what has not worked, and change the course of action in the future once Mercury turns direct.

Blessings )0(

It's a WOMAN's World - The Male Perspective

For the past few months, I've been delving into the Women's Mysteries and the Blood Mysteries as part of my Priestess path. I had a great friend who was kind to introduce me to these concepts and they really resonated with me and I took them to heart since I believe healing can take place if we honor our mysteries as women and empower ourselves. We need to get rid of the shame we have lived with for so long because women tend to get the message that they are dirty, weak, less than men, among other messages that we get from the environment. While in my journey, I was also introduced to Male Mysteries because of my need to understand the Male energies in my life and how to reach harmony since we all contain both male and female energies within- yin and yang. In my search, I came across a book called "Fire in the Belly - On being a man" by Sam Keen. The word belly with being a man called my attention immediately because belly is always associated with WOMAN, with creation, with power. When I opened the book, I couldn't help but be amazed by the title of one of the chapters "it's a Woman's World". After reading several feminist books, I found this book that seems to portrait the same concepts but with the opposite sex. In this chapter, the author talks about how men have defined themselves as opposite of women, how they need to be strong, how they need to provide, how they need to be aggressive, how they need to find meaning because they come from Women but they can not be like them, so they decided to be the opposite but the question remains as of what does it mean to be a man? Men have not taken time to decide what being a man is, what rites they follow, how to deal with their own archetypes as women have the maiden, mother and crone. One of the phrases that called my attention was "Men have invested so much of their identity, committed so much of their energy, and squandered so much of their power in trying to control, avoid, conquer, or demean women because they are so vulnerable to their mysterious power over them." This phrase talks to me about how men try to be different from women, and how women fight patriarchy to gain their rights but in the end, each gender is fighting to define itself against the other. We are comparing ourselves to another, taking the reference point outside ourselves instead of defining ourselves from within.

Another phrase that was really reassuring to me was when the author said "Feminists who argue that goddess-worship historically preceded the notion of God as father are certainly correct. What they fail to see is that the goddess, since her historical dethronement has remained alive and well, and continues to exert power from deep in the hidden recesses of the male psyche. Granted she has been sentenced to remain in a kind of internal exile, under house arrest, but her power is obvious from the efforts spent to keep her imprisoned." As men start to realize that they can create their mysteries as women have theirs, and that they don't need to define themselves based on women, they will be able to evolve and release the energies that are tied in keeping up with a mask that does not belong to them.

It is time for all of us to define ourselves from our own point of view, not as our parents define us, or society, or the other sex. It is important to switch the point of focus to the Goddess or God within and start defining who we are without comparing ourselves to others. It is time to stop fighting for power or trying to see what gender is better. We all hold the spark of spirit within and we can achieve whatever we set up our minds to. It is time to release the energies tied in controlling and trying to exert power and instead replace them with learning about ourselves. One of my favorite phrases is "Know Yourself" and unless we let go of comparing and competing with others, we will not grow or evolve; instead, we will live prisoners of our own limitations and the cages we create for ourselves. It is not a Woman's World. It is not a Man's world. It is a world we share and we can all make it better if we dedicate time to go within and define ourselves by our parameters, and not other people's parameters. It is time to let go of competition and start cooperating and working together. We can all coexist and make this world a better place to live.

Blessings )0(

Eat, Pray, Love

There are some movies that touch our hearts more than others, "Eat, Pray, Love" was one of those for me. Although I read the book a few years ago, watching the movie reminded me of how many good lessons that book/movie has. Sometimes we get to a crossroad in our lives when we see the paths ahead but we are not sure which one to take because fear is there... fear of change. I like when the protagonist is in bed with her husband and he says "I don't want to go to Aruba" and she responds "I don't want to be married anymore". This woman's journey of leaving a relationship that was not fulfilling and having the courage to go around the world trying to find happiness is a big lesson because it takes courage to push the boundaries and fears and risk everything just to find yourself. When I moved to the USA, I had to leave everything behind - family, friends, job security, my own apartment, everything. I could only bring two bags with my belongings and the rest stayed behind. I know that taught me how to detach from material things and the fact that everything is temporary and we are in constant state of changing, evolving, growing, moving. Nothing remains the same unless it is dead. Most of the people fear change because they don't know what to expect, they don't know if the future is better than the present and they may sacrifice their happiness for fear of change. Another phrase that really called me was when her boyfriend told her it was better to be unhappy and together than be sad and separated. How many times do we stay in situations where we know we are unhappy but for fear we just remain the same? Life is too short to waste it in situations or relationships that don't work or make us happy. I know at times I like things to remain the same, I like routine as any Virgo, but I also know that change and chaos bring the seed of transformation and if we don't transform we stagnate and die so I welcome change, I welcome transformation, and like the phoenix I have risen many times from my own ashes.

"Il bel far niente" is a phrase that really resonated with me from this movie. This phrase means "Do Nothing" and in the movie, they talk about how American people are always doing something, if it is not reading, writing, watching TV, busy, busy, busy and they do not master the art of "Do Nothing" or "Il bel far niente". I can definitely identify myself with that although I am not American but I have led a life of doing instead of being for a long time and just now I am beginning to understand that it is not what I do but who I am that defines me. With this concept in mind, during the movie, the protagonist was asked to choose a word that defines her, not a word that defines what she does but who she is and I believe I was blessed with having a word that defines me as my maiden name Amor (Love). I think love is who I am. I can also use "Will" or "Strength". Many times, it is hard to find a way to define ourselves by who we are instead of what we do. If you ask somebody who they are they will say I am a teacher, I am a wife, I am a .... the list can go on, but these words define roles in life and not the essence. If you had to choose a word, what would that word be?

We, women, are usually concerned about physical appearance... we do not want to look fat so we usually diet a lot to make sure we don't put on weight. While the protagonist was in Italy, she went to a pizza place with a friend and her friend did not want to eat so the protagonist looked at her and she said "have you ever been naked with a man who got up and left because he did not like what he saw? I bet you not, he was happy to have a naked woman with him." This phrase was amazing because I think we are our worst enemies when it comes to appearance. We feel horrible when we are actually beautiful, we are Goddesses and we hold the Goddess within. It is within our power to choose to feel beautiful, to accept ourselves as we are and let go of being skinny or not eating and sacrificing ourselves for beauty. I don't say don't eat healthy, but I do say don't torture yourself feeling that you will look horrible if you eat a pastry. You will be beautiful because it is the beauty within that reflects in the outside and as we grow older, it is that beauty that shines and not the physical one.

The last thing that really resonated with me was when the protagonist was in Bali and she told the old medicine man that she broke her relationship with her new boyfriend because she had finally found balance in her life and this relationship was threatening her balance. The old man looked at her and said "sometimes being out of balance brings balance to your life" and this really resonated with me since many times we try to keep things like they are... balance and harmony... without noticing that chaos may bring balance in the end. Sometimes you need to break it to build it again. Destruction creates space for new creations, and new creations bring opportunities to grow and evolve.

Blessings )0(