Living a Magickal Life

Last day of 2012 and here I am writing again! Although it is 2013 in other countries, in the place I am located I am still enjoying the last few hours of 2012. A year filled with magick and poise, expectation and change. The world did not end in 2012 but we have definitely evolved as a planet and we are reaching a different level in our evolutionary journey where we are starting to become awake. People everywhere are becoming to wake up from one dream and beginning a new dream, one filled with peace, harmony, and joy. A dream where the Goddess, the Divine Feminine, is coming back to life and being present in the every day activities.

I am really looking forward to 2013 because I know it will be a year filled with life-transforming change but I am committed to live it in a magickal way. I am ready to work towards manifesting my own dream using magick and letting the Goddess guide me. I want to be the river, flowing to the destination without pushing, without trying to hard, living in the now moment and trusting Goddess and the Universe are putting in my path the lessons I need to learn. Even when thing seem to be collapsing like in the Tower, I will sit with those feelings in my altar and know that no matter what is happening, I will be safe. When Yeshe Rabbit told me the phrase living a magickal life in my reading yesterday, this phrase resonated with me. I am the one casting spells to manifest my dreams. I am the one ritualizing every moment so it becomes meaningful and filled with purpose. Everything has a meaning and I am beginning to discover that. Even when I am walking on the street and see a little fellow (a squirrel), I know he or she has a message to me and I am awake, I am aware, and I am paying attention to the magickal messages that the Universe send my way every day, every minute, every moment.

2013 will be a magickal year and I can feel it. As I told a coworker today... it is lucky 13 so we will make it a great year. Goddess is alive and magick is a-foot.

Happy New Year to All!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

www.circulodeisis.org

On Quitting and Resolutions

The Joy of Quitting is the name of the article that captured my attention yesterday. I was reading the magazine Spirituality and Health and I came across this piece. The name intrigued me because I never associated joy with quitting. We live in a society that usually frowns upon quitting. We can see book markers with the writing "Never Quit" on them and many popular phrases that motivate us to continue, to persevere, to not give up. The question becomes why are we sticking with those situations, people or things that do not serve us anymore. I have nothing against perseverance but there is something to be said about hitting your head on the wall with a situation and expecting something to change. Sometimes, we have to quit. Sometimes, we have to choose our battles and realize that maybe the battle we are fighting for is not meant for us. Are we sticking with it because of our parents mandates? Do we believe that once we conquer that battle we will be happier and feel whole? Are we afraid to let go of a relationship because it may mean we fail? Failure, fear, tribal myths and structure prevents us from quitting when we do know that we would be better letting go. When we face these feelings, we are asked to look within, to look at what our soul and heart want and let go of the rest. It makes no sense to struggle when you are pursuing the wrong dream. If you sit quietly and listen to the voice within, you will know whether the test you are going through is one meant to help you attain your purpose or it is meant to help you decide to quit. If you can sit in silence and listen, you will know.

As 2012 is coming to an end, I start seeing people writing their resolutions, talking about their plans for the coming year and I can´t help but think that I have spent many years writing the things I wanted to achieve in the coming year and the things I wanted to change. This year is different for me, I decided I don´t want to have a long list of goals and resolutions. I only want to have one "Be fully present and live in the Now Moment." The past is gone and the future is not yet here so I want to live in the now and spend time manifesting the best now moment I can. When we live in the past, we may regret things or think that the past was much better than the now. When we live in the future, we tend to have anxiety and fear that it will not turn out to be the future we wanted. Living in the present allows us to just be, to manifest our reality and to have the power to change our thoughts now so they create our vision for life. Our vision is not for the future, it is for the now and we can change it and transform it as we are walking our paths in the now. What are your resolutions for 2013? 

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

www.circulodeisis.org

Storms and Rainbows, Endings and Beginnings

Sometimes we look outside and we see a reflection of what is happening within us. Last Friday, it supposed to be the end of the world as some people have predicted the Mayans had said in their calendar. I am pretty sure there was an error in translation as it is December 25th, 2012 and the world is still spinning so they may need a new dictionary to translate the symbols. Having said that, there was also the theory that the world was going to ascend into a higher vibration and a New Era was going to start so it was the end of the old and the beginning of the new. I do agree with this interpretation of the Mayan Calendar more than the catastrophic interpretation of zombie invasion  and extraterrestrials attacking the Planet Earth.

Having survived the apocalyptic predictions that turned out to be wrong, I can look back and connect the dots as Steve Jobs used to say. Just looking at the weather outside starting Friday morning, we could see huge rain periods with short periods of sun so we could observe a beautiful rainbow. Since I was little, I have always associated the rainbow with good things to come, with happy endings and joy. When I saw the rainbow on Friday, I knew the world was not going to end!!! How could it? There was a rainbow outside and that means the storm has passed, the bad has been washed away and let space for the sun to come out again. This situation repeated again on Saturday and Sunday... yes three days in a row! This made me realized that the New Era has started and that from now on, we have a chance to create our reality the way we want it. 

Looking at the outside signs and symbols, I noticed that I have been living a little bit like the crazy weather that was taking place outside. I had big storms followed by rainbows and then followed by sunny days. The one thing I have to remember is that the sun always comes out after the storm, no matter how terrible the storm is. Yesterday, I went for a walk and as I was going down a hill, I slipped and fell down scratching my left knee. I got up and kept walking but I started thinking... wow, what is it with me and my left leg while I walk? A couple of months ago I broke my left foot so now falling down again six month later felt like a weird thing to happen. Maybe I haven´t learned the lesson, maybe I need to know that even when I fall down, I am strong enough to get up and keep walking because those events just make me stronger. This time, I did not break any bones but the situation really took me back to the time I fell before. It is easy to be grateful about good things happening in life but not as easy to be grateful about the challenging ones. 

Talking about challenging situations and gratitude, last night one of my favorite rings broke. I never had a ring break before but this time, I was trying to fix it and it broke down. I´ve been wearing this ring every day for the past few weeks as it has a stone from my homeland and made me feel connected during the holiday season when we are apart. Needless to say I was really sad when I saw it falling apart and I thought about ways to fixing it until I realized maybe it was time to let it go as it was part of my old self. Maybe it is time to accept that it is what it is and move on, not try to fix it. After my ring broke I went for a walk and when I came back, I noticed I have also lost one of my favorite earrings. I had bought these earrings many years ago in Miami and now one is gone.... yes, the universe was telling me it is time to detach, it is time to let go and accept that the time has come to build a new beginning. That´s why when I was doing my gratitude daily practice this morning, I gave thanks for falling down, I gave thanks for my favorite ring breaking, and I gave thanks for losing my earring.

Even when there are big storms, there can always be a rainbow if we learn to see the sun in the situation. When a door closes, another one opens. There has to be an end so we can have a new beginning.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina 

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

www.circulodeisis.org

Depletion Recipe - Yes and No Reversal

I was reading the materials from Ava Park´s Queen Teachings Online Class when I realized I´ve been living in this reversal most of my life. This is the type of reversal we, women, are prone to be because it is really drilled into traditions and cultural programming. The reversal I am talking about is saying yes when we mean to say no, for example, when somebody asks us to do something we don´t want to do but we just say yes because we feel guilty or we don´t want to disappoint that person, or we want to be liked. Those are the times that we should say NO if we are true to ourselves, if we are putting ourselves in the center and setting clear boundaries.

Then there are those times when we say NO when we should be saying YES. For example, those times when people offer to help us when we are tired, or when we need a hand, and due to our superwoman complex we say NO, we have it, we don´t need help, we can do it alone.

Do you see this? Can you see the reversal and how it keeps us depleted? We say yes to all demands on our energies but no to help so at the end of the day, we are burned, we are exhausted, we have no more energy to give to anything, not even trying to manifest our dreams.

When we become aware of this reversal, we can gain the power of awareness and start saying NO when we should be saying NO and YES when should be saying YES. Starting tomorrow, say no to any type of request where you are not 100% you want to do or help with what the person is asking you and say yes to all help offered. Yes, from the person opening your door when you are coming with your hands full of things to your partner cooking dinner for you because he or she sees you tired. Say no when you feel doubt and it does not feel right to accept another commitment. Say yes when somebody is trying to give you a hand. Accepting help does not mean you are weak, it means you are strong enough to know that you are conserving your energy to manifest your vision for life and you need all your energy to make your dreams come true. There is nothing wrong in accepting help and there is nothing wrong in saying no and setting clear boundaries.

Start today! Stop the depletion recipe - say Yes when you mean Yes and No when you mean No, don´t play the tribal rules... just play your own.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo of Isis

www.circulodeisis.org

Note: Check the Queen Teachings by Ava Park. These are priceless teachings that can change your life!

http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

Strong Before, Strong Again

As time passes, we tend to forget the hardships from the past. The tests that destiny has put in our way to make us stronger. As I continue going over the boxes in the storage, I keep finding little pieces of my now forgotten past. The other day, I found the journal for my first year in the US. It was very interesting to see how much I struggled, how much I felt like an outsider and that I did not fit in, my worries about money, security, and survival. I even found two American English Accent Training Materials - I guess I wanted to sound American and feel like I belong here. Now, seeing where I am and where I´ve been, I can see that I gave up trying to fit in and instead, I have made my environment fit me, LOL. I have released the need to try to fit a model or a standard and instead I am shining with my own light, the light of authenticity and inner power.

Yesterday, I had the honor to receive a healing session from one of my students - Hester Aira. After the session, Hester provided me with wonderful feedback about things that were going on in my life and how to improve my situation. How to move from fear to love and from passive planning to action. Everything that she said made sense and I have incorporated into my life as it is meaningful and also relates to the journey I am going through.

After the session, Hester mentioned that I could ask my helpers for signs and they will show me the way as at times I feel I am not seeing situations clearly, I feel like there is too much turbulence and I can´t really tell good from bad, right from wrong, truth from lies. As I walked today, I asked my helpers to send me a sign and here it was, a beautiful egg shape stone. This stone really called my attention, so much so that I picked it up and brought it home with me. This stone meant rebirth and it also meant strength. When I saw it, I felt I was being born again with new foundations, solid foundations that will support my journey to come. These foundations are based on my beliefs and not on societal coding, these foundations are my true self. When I look back, I know I have faced challenges and I have come out victorious. Now, as I am navigating troubled waters, I know I will find my safe harbor if I stay true to myself and build a solid foundation with my helpers by my side. I was strong before and I will be strong again. 

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: I highly recommend a session with Hester Aira, her healing powers are incredible and she will really shed light in your path (lucky for us, she does sessions in person and in the distance!)

There are no mistakes... only experiences!

Failure... Mistakes... Broken Dreams... We all have times when we look back and see all those things that did not go the way we wanted them to go. Those things that left us exhausted and depleted. Those people that broke our hearts or disappointed us. Those situations where we felt we lost or wasted our time. If we could move from a victim place to a power place and see those events and people as our teachers in the journey of life. This journey is an adventure and if we did not have things to learn, we would not be here anymore, we may be in another planet where the situations and people who let us down don´t exist. 

It´s easy to be grateful for the good things in our lives because those make us happy, those make us feel good, but can you be grateful for those things that brought you pain? Can you be thankful for all those people that hurt you in the past? Can you express gratitude for the journey of life with the good and the bad? 

The other day I was watching the movie "This means war" and one of the main characters used the phrased "there are no mistakes... only experiences" and it really resonated with me because so many times in the past I have looked at my life and complained about what did not go the way my ego wanted them to go, my pride got hurt, my heart got broken, my dreams did not come true. If I really look back with detached feelings and honesty, I can see that everything that has happened had a purpose, everything has a meaning, and I would not be the person I am today if I have not had those experiences in my life. 

As I continue reading Stuart Wilde´s books, my way of thinking is transforming and changing. My way of seeing life is evolving and I am letting go of many qualities that I had before that did not belong to me but they were a by product of what he calls the tic-toc (tic toc meaning society and tribal myths that are not real for the infinite self but they are real for ego slave people). In his book "Infinite Self - 33 steps to reclaiming your inner power", one of the steps is "Acceptance" and in this step he says that we need to learn to accept that it is what it is. You may want it to not rain, but it is raining so accept the rain and move on. You may want this person to love you back but he doesn´t, it is what it is, accept it and move on. He also has another step when he talks about accepting negativity as a learning experience. These two steps really combine with knowing within yourself that there are no mistakes, there are no failures, just experiences, just learning experiences. 

If we can start seeing life in this way, we will let go of many feelings that are leaking our energy and preventing us to use that energy to manifest our realities. In the end, it is what it is and we can either accept it or fight it. We can either be thankful for the learning or complain for the rest of our days. As I always say, we always have a choice and it´s up to us to decide. I choose to think and believe there are no mistakes... only experiences!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Step into your Power Zone

During Thanksgiving weekend, I decided to go on morning walks as a way to meditate and connect with nature as well as gather my thoughts for all the projects I am working on at the time - building new classes, building the Circulo de Isis website, and working on my reduction of the non-essential lifestyle. As I walked in my neighborhood, I looked at the trees, the birds and all the little animals that I would come across. I had my headphones on and I was listening to some music when this dog came barking at me from behind. If you know me, you know I used to be terrified of dogs. When I saw this dog, he was so closed to my leg I screamed. Then I stopped and I said "You freaked me out!!!! Go to your place" I think my Mars in Scorpio came out because the dog just turned around and went back to his house and barked a little bit behind his fence. In the past, I know I would have run away and be very scared of the whole situation but now, I was able to stand for myself and say NO, you go to your place!

This situation made me think of all those other situations when I may have been scared and ran away instead of standing straight and taking the bull from the horns because I had the power to manifest my own reality and the challenges I face are only ways of the Universe to teach me knew  lessons and stir me right. If I had given to my fear, I would have not done a radio interview because I am usually the shy one. If I had given to my fear, I would not have moved to the USA because it was far away from the known and very unknown at the time. 

As I keep putting pictures and words in my vision board, I realize that manifesting my vision for life requires some bold moves. I can´t be in my fear zone because if I let my demons dominate my life, I will just manifest a life filled with shadows. I need to be honest with myself, I need to hold myself in integrity and clarity and always be authentic because in the end, it is not about what we do or what we say but it is about who we are deep inside, our core, our beliefs and foundation. Yesterday, I decided not to participate in an event that was going to be filled with phonies and fake people. In the beginning, I thought it would be fun to attend such an event but after meditating, I felt it was a waste of time. Why would I put myself in a situation where I am so closed to energy vampires and around people I don´t respect? Some of their ways of living and beliefs are totally different from what I believe and I don´t judge them at all, I respect their way of thinking but I don´t need to spend time with them when I have a choice so I choose to spend my time in a more productive, joyful and rich way. A way that stands for who I am and does not drain my energy. I don´t want to have to fake anything, I don´t want to have to be lying or putting on a show, I just want to participate in activities that allow me to be me, just me, authentic and honest me.

We can live in fear like society wants us to or we can just step into our power zone and live from the heart, showing our true colors, being honest and authentic. . Which one would you choose? You always have a choice. Even when you are not choosing, you are doing so.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

In Gratitude

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite American holidays. When I move to the USA, I was happy to incorporate this special day in my calendar and adopt this tradition. I think it is amazing that this country has a day to give thanks and be in the spirit of gratitude. This does not mean that we have to be grateful only that day, but it does provide us with an opportunity to do an inventory of all those things that happened to us during this year and be thankful.

During my morning walk today, I was able to think of all those things I am grateful this year. 2012 brought many experiences to me. I was able to visit Disneyland for the first time in my life with my Priestess Sister and friend, Jesamyn Angelica. I was able to visit the Temple of Orange County twice. I was able to participate in two Queen Convocations with Ava Park and I am currently taking the Queen Teachings online. I was able to visit my country and get together with my family and friends who I haven´t seen in over two years. I was able to visit Lake Tahoe and discovered Half Moon Bay - my new retreat place - I am going there tomorrow to meditate and connect with the Ocean once again. I am thankful for all my students who are teaching me more than I am teaching them. I am thankful for all my friends and loved ones who are always showing me new things about myself. I am also thankful for all those who have departed my life as our journey together has reached its end and our karmic connection is no longer needed. I am thankful for being a 24/7 Priestess and being able to hold center for my community - Círculo de Isis. I am grateful to be co-teaching with my Priestess Sister Jesamyn Angelica and to have an amazing group of students there. I am thankful for being able to live in this country that is full of opportunities and to have landed in California, the land of the Sun and live in an area that allows me to connect with the Mountain, with the Ocean, with the River and really experience my Druid Self more fully.  I am thankful to be able to support myself and live comfortably, for my house that is my temple, for my car that allows me to move around, for having internet to be able to connect with all those people I may not be able to connect if I did not have that tool.

I am also thankful for those experiences that were not so happy at the time but have made me a stronger Queen. I am grateful for my broken foot during the summer because it taught me to be always grateful of my good health and my ability to move around. I am grateful for the disappointments and pain that some people have brought to my life because they showed me that I am still open to love and even when people hurt me, I will remain open and loving to all. I am thankful for those who put blocks in my path because as I find my way around them like the water in a stream, I become more flexible and more capable to deal with all the situations in my life.

I am thankful for both the good and the bad that has happened in my life because without those things, I wouldn´t be who I am right now. Thank you Goddess for all the experiences you brought me this year and for helping me grow and evolve.

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I am in gratitude today.

Blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Stand Straight in Life

There are just a few books that can hold my attention with such intensity that I can´t put them down until I finish reading them. Silent Power by Stuart Wilde was one of those books. I was introduced to this book by Ava Park in her Queen Teachings Online where she mentioned this rather small book about personal power and charisma. When I started reading it, the message resonated so much with me that two hours after, I had finished the book and I was buzzing with the information!!!

One thing that really stuck with me was the concept  of standing straight in life and not leaning on people. When we are sad, depressed, worried or experiencing anxiety, we tend to lean on people and suck their energy. We focus on the negative emotions we are feeling, we focus on what is going wrong, we focus on all those things that do not work anymore so we can complain about them. Stuart says there are three steps to avoid leaning on people:

1. Don´t lean toward things you don´t have. Affirm, visualize, and take action instead.

2. Try not to lean into the future by talking or thinking about it constantly. Instead take time each day to make the now special, honoring what you have and what you have achieved.

3. Start to design your life so that you don´t require things from others. Try to need only those things you can get yourself. 

When we start living from these principles, we filled our etheric body with energy and are able to irradiate a charisma that is hard to replicate because all those material things that are ego driven do not fill us with energy and their shinny effect passes really fast. There is always a newer version of a car, a phone, a computer, you name it. People are usually power hungry and power starved. They want to be special, they want to be famous, rich and perfect but these things are ego driven and they only motivate the person to lose their energy and also they lose their power because their power is based on what they have or done but not based on who they are. 

Another thing that stuck with me was the power of Silent Talking. In this book, Stuart says that people talk too much and volunteer too much information. He also mentions that people are usually motivated to talk to compete with others in order to see who has more material things or has travelled more or knows more. People usually talk from an ego place where they are trying to satisfy their need to feel important and special. Stuart says that if you don´t engage in this ego talk, you remain in silence and your intuition is really amplified and you can really feel what others are thinking or feeling as they talk. I think Silence can be very powerful and I will be experimenting with this aspect in the future.

Overall, the book was amazing and I think it is one of those books I will read time and time again and always find something new. I am grateful Ava introduced it to me.

From now on Stand Straight in Life and when in doubt, lean out!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note:

Ava Park and her Queen Teachings

http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

Silent Power by Stuart Wilde

http://www.amazon.com/Silent-Power-Stuart-Wilde/dp/1401905110/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1353394777&sr=8-1&keywords=Silent+POwer

Flow

Sometimes people think I have my life planned 24/7 365 days a year and that I always know what comes next but I don´t. There have been many times when I have felt I am lost in the middle of the forest not knowing where I am going or what I should be doing. I remember when I became a Priestess and I have no clue what I was supposed to be doing!!!!!! Yes, I had no clue at all but I figured it out and I follow the flow within that took me to safe shores after many many storms.

You think I don´t cry... well, I do. I have spent nights crying feeling my ancestors holding me and holding my teddy bear. Yes, I have those moments when everything feels like it is collapsing, everything is being destroyed and I don´t know whether I should die with the structure o just survive. Where do I hold on???? This storm is too much!!!!!

Some of the memories I have from my childhood are me holding my little teddy dog that my father has brought me as a present from one of his trips and hoping everything will be ok the next day. When everything was breaking apart and violence was in the house, a drunken father and a bipolar mother, I would just hold my teddy dog and cry, paralyzed. I always remember my god mother telling me I could cry in such a way that nobody knew, I would be paralyzed and just be destroyed within but the outside would be intact. Nobody would know.

Yes, life may not have been easy but it is what it is and it has made me who I am. A strong woman who still holds the teddy bear when things get hard and prays to Goddess to show her a way because things are just not right and she is running out of steam. She is still holding on to dear life even when the storm seems to be taking her away and she has no energy to spare.

Those are the times to release control and let go, be the hangman in the tarot, surrender to the energies and go with the flow. No matter how bad it looks, it will always take you to a safer harbor. The more you try to control the situation, the less energy you have. Just flow. Flow. Flow.... Goddess knows, trust the Universe knows. Flow.....

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Patience and Trust

I have a 6 month project... yes you read it right, 6 months. I am usually the person who gets moved and unpacks everything in one week but this time, it took one look at the storage facility to know that I will need plenty of time to clear that space, donate, sell and/or give away the things that I have not used in 6 years and that are collecting dust in the storage facility. It is very interesting because this project is bringing memories of the days when I decided to move to the USA and had to fit everything that I could not let go of in 3 bags and you can imagine one bag contained only books! As I look back at those times in my life when I was facing a big change and a big transformation, it also took months to manifest. It was not overnight. My husband proposed in August of 2002 and we got married in February of 2003, I moved to the USA in April 2003 so it actually took 9 months of organizing, giving away and preparing for the big step. It´s interesting how when we are reaching the end we always remember the beginning. When I look back, I can´t believe how much I changed, how much I have grown in this country full of opportunities, how many different iterations of Queen Carolina have come and go during the past 10 years and the different phases I experienced.

Today, I picked up three boxes in the storage facility to bring home. Somehow I think that if I pick three boxes twice a week, I can clean that place up in 6 months... we will see. This Queen has her plans but they are always in the drawing board and can change without any kind of notice.   As I opened the boxes and started going through them, I couldn´t help but smile when I saw my old notebook from my days in Argentina. When I opened it, I started reading it and I had all my notes for my wedding. What was required... 28 days before the wedding, you have to register in the court, 7 days before the wedding you have to have the blood test... you need this and that.... lists of tasks that I had to do to get ready for that step. It was fascinating because as time passes, we do forget how much energy it took for us to manifest our reality. We forget about the hard parts and the struggles, things get minimized. These days I find myself with different research lists and steps in this process, but there is always a process and there are always steps to follow. 

As I continued going through the boxes and I found a picture of my mother, my grandmother from my father´s side and my soul grandmother (she is my dad´s aunt but has always been like a granny to me). This picture took my breath away because I was not expecting to find that in this box. This is something I would expect to find in Buenos Aires but here, in the States, it was sort of like a shock and a good omen at the same time. I could see my bloodline supporting me from the other side. They were letting me know that they are there, supporting me and holding me as I transition to my next stage in life, the same way they were there 10 years ago. Always supporting me and making sure that I would be fine at the other side of the bridge I am about to cross.

These days, I find myself going back to doing things I used to do when I was younger. I bought a new digital camera because I used to love taking pictures and I still do. Today I bought a romantic novel because I remembered I loved reading those when I was in High School. We used to call them shampoo reading because it is just fiction and helps you clear your head away from stress. I have been reading non-fiction for a long time and I think it is time for something new and more relaxing as well. It´s like I am rediscovering myself, remembering what I used to like and what used to be important to me so this new version of Queen Carolina is more real and true. I know changes don´t happen overnight and things take time but I have patience and I do trust that no matter how long things take, everything will be for the best of all concerned.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Vibrations, Vibrations, Vibrations

Vibrations, vibrations, vibrations!!!! What an Eureka Moment I had last Tuesday! I was thinking about my life and how in life we attract the things to us that vibrate at the same frequency we are vibrating - like attracts like. I thought about the experiences that I´ve had this year, the things that have happened and how at times I feel depleted and almost with no energy to manifest anything in my life, needless to say, I have not energy to manifest my vision or to take care of my Realm.

As I study the materials from the Queen Teachings Online with Ava Park, I realize that during this year I have been vibrating at a lower frequency and attracting to me those challenges that will either sink me or make me stronger and a better Queen in the future. I thought about my trip to Buenos Aires and how depleted I felt after it. I thought about my broken foot and how it derailed my whole vision of what the summer was going to look like. I thought about my friends and family and how they vibrate at different frequencies at times. Thats´s when I realized that I need to start vibrating at my own frequency and whoever or whatever is not vibrating at the same level will just fall away and leave the realm without me having to say anything. I just need to change my vibration because in the end, the only thing I have control of is me and my own situation. I can not control my environment, I can´t control my friends, I can´t control my family´s reactions, but I can definitely control my own vibration, my own thoughts and my own energy. 

As I started experimenting with the vibrations, I started noticing that I did not hit as many red lights, I did not engage with people who were angry or complaining as I don´t want those energies close to me, and I started noticing that people around me were nicer and smiled more... I may be going crazy but it did feel like as I changed my way of seeing life and my vibration, everything was just following. People gave me the right of way when I was driving, others opened doors for me, and mainly everyone was smiling. 

I think at times we have to just focus on what we can change and that is ourselves, we can never change things or people because they are the way they are but if we change and they stick around, the vibration will adjust and the relationship will continue. If not, it will just end because there will be no energy feeding that relationship or the activity.

As I look at vibrations and energy, I start noticing those activities that drain me and those that feed my soul. For example, the other day one of my friends told me to go walk a labyrinth during lunch time and I felt so refreshed after it that I wanted to do it again. On the other hand, there are other people that you just want to run the other way because they are complaining and after you are with them you feel like you have 0 energy left. More and more, I am aware of these subtle situations and start choosing very carefully because in order to hold my vibration, I need to make sure that I don´t have interference or activities that push me to a different direction and then I become those people I am trying to avoid now. In certain activities or with certain people, I do feel there can be a disturbance in the force and I definitely don´t want that in my life. The force is running strong in me these days and I´ve been practicing all my Yedi tricks. I know what you are thinking and I find your lack of faith disturbing. LOL!!!!!! I can´t say this with a straight face. 

All in all, we control the energies we emit in our environment and those energies call other energies into our fields. Now that I am aware of this, I can definitely modify my vibration so I don´t attract anything I don´t want in my life. You can do the same! May the force be with you!

Many Blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

The Phoenix Rising

I am back!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I am back from the dead and I am fearless! I can definitely say that I´ve been consumed in ashes and raised back up to be myself again but this time, I have let go of the fear that was preventing me to become my true self. I burned out all those pieces that have prevented me to stand on my own power and vision my future. Now I can smile and laugh, now I can have faith that the future looks bright, now I can be the architect of my destiny.

It´s interesting when your friends tell you "You look so happy now" "It´s so nice to see the spark in your eyes back on" and I want to say, yes!!!! I am back to being myself, the strong woman I was over 10 years ago when I decided to risk everything and move to the USA. Yes, I was fearless at that time and I am fearless now too!!! After my father´s visit, I have realized in this lifetime I am on my own, I am the Queen of my Realm (as Ava Park would say) and I am 100% responsible for what happens in this realm I have created. 

As family members keep calling to see how I am doing after my dad has returned and talked to them, I keep giving the same message "I am fine! This Queen has her Realm under control and things are safe! Relax!!!! LOL, just writing this phrase reminds me of my father  when he would tell me I should relax. I am relaxed and calmed and my decisions are not based on fear, they are not based on fast fiery feelings, they are based on truth for my realm, truth for myself and the best for me - Queen Carolina - who is coming out of the cocoon to be who she was meant to be, not the little barbie doll they wanted her to become.

Fearlessness is very powerful because at this time I am not concerned about what other will say or tell, I am just me! To the bare bone! just me and whether you like it or not, it is your problem after all. We are all free to decide what we want in our lives so if you choose I am not to be part of your life, that´s perfect! But if you want me in  your life, this is what you get too, full disclosure :) 

Last week I was able to have a very candid and honest conversation with my new boss who was amazed about how I could articulate how I felt and what I needed in the future or I would be gone. I was also proud of myself to be able to be clear and honest but not sound negative, just shed some light and walk away in a way (thank you Ava for that phrase! shed light and walk away). 

Starting Sunday, I have felt I am rising from the ashes and my new self is coming out, a woman who is whole and is not afraid anymore, she is complete and powerful. She has total confidence in the future and the Universe to bring to her whatever it is meant to be hers so she is not fighting anymore, she is not pretending anymore, she is not trying too hard or pushing the river, she is... yes she just is and believe me, once you reach that level, everything makes you smile. Today, I was supposed to go for coffee.. then vote.... and I noticed I have left my wallet at home so I had no money or ID, and my car has almost no gas to get home. Well, a friend got me a cup of coffee and I was able to get home to grab my wallet before the gas light turned on so yes, Goddess is there, The Universe knows and you are safe. That´s the message I got today, I can smile and I can be positive because no matter how things may look now, it is going to be ok, we are safe.

The Phoenix is Rising, spreading her wings and touching our hearts so we know we are protected and we know that no matter how low you go, we will raise again and find our way. As I write this blog I am listening to the song dream on and I can only say....

Dream on, dream on, dream on until your dreams come true....

You have the power to create your destiny and your future! Don´t give up! It´s up to you... will you stay in the ashes or rise... like the phoenix. The decision is yours!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo of Isis

Note: Thank you Ava Park to show me the way to bring my Queen back up front! You have changed my life

http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

The Cycle of Life

WOW! I am still buzzing after experiencing a cycle of life event yesterday. I was going to Staples to buy a new binder as the binder I was using to keep the materials I am learning in the class I am taking with Ava Park was getting small. As I turned in the corner to go park I see an amazing hawk on the floor of the parking lot holding tight to a pigeon with its claws. The energy this bird was irradiating was incredible, the power, the presence. I couldn´t stop looking both amazed at the power display and in horror for the pigeon. Needless to say, I got off my car after parking and continue watching the scene. Some crows came and tried to fight the hawk that was defending it´s dinner and was not going to give up. As the hawk flew away with the pigeon in its claws, I started thinking about the cycle of life and death. 

How many times do we die to some part of ourselves to become something different and be born again? How many times do we let go of something that was very important to us to make space for something new? The seasons are also a reflection of the cycles that can go within. We see the leaves fall and the trees letting go of the old to be reborn during the spring with new strong green leaves. We don´t go in a linear fashion but we go in cycles of birth, death and rebirth. We change, we grow, we evolve and we transform ourselves because the only sure thing in this world is change. Nothing remains the same for a long period of time. As we start getting into the darker part of the year, it is the perfect time to meditate, to go into the dark and embark in the journey of self discovery so we as the trees can let go of those leaves that do not serve us anymore and create the room and space for the new to come to life next spring. What activities do you feel you can let go of or they stop giving you satisfaction? What relationships have outlived their time? What things within yourself do no longer serve you in any capacity? I know I am in a period of self inventory and as my wheel keeps turning and turning it will show me the direction to go. 

Thinking of the hawk again, I can see that the bird had determination, it knew what had to be done and did not hesitate. I don´t think anybody would have got close to that bird with the energy that it was irradiating. It was not going to allow anybody to get close to it´s dinner, not even the crows and I thought about the future and how at times if we are not determined on what we want, we may hesitate, we may self-sabotage, we may make things harder than they should be just because we don´t know what needs to be done or we don´t have a clear vision of what we want and let our fears drive us instead of our heart and soul. 

Looking at the hawk and the cycles of life, I know that I will not fear death as it is the necessary step to be born again, I will have determination of what I want for my future and not hesitate in what needs to be done because I don´t want to wake up one day and realize that my fears have been the ones manifesting my reality and not the vision in my heart.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Trust - don´t feed your demons!

Some weeks I am short of words, some weeks they come flowing like water going down a waterfall. Today seems to be the latest and here I am again, in front of the computer with something to say :)

Actually, to be honest, these blogs have been brewing in my mind all last week and I did not have time to sit down and write so today, I am finally back to being myself - energetically - and I feel these words have to come before the full moon tomorrow as they are messages I have received this week and last week so no more procrastination!!! I am sure you understand when you have a lot of things to do and you just wait to the very last minute because you don´t want to deal with them or you feel you don´t have the time for them.

A little over a week ago I watched the movie Snow White and the Huntsman while I was in bed sick with the kidney infection. During this movie, there is a part where Snow White is in the dark forest and she is scared, the forest is turning on her and the Huntsman said "The forest is feeding off your fear". Somehow, that phrase stuck with me and I started thinking about how many times my forest has become darker and darker because I am feeding my fears. How many times do we choose the wrong path because it is the path that is less scary and I am safer that way. Sometimes we need bold actions, sometimes we just need to trust that the universe knows what the best is for us and just flow like water and follow the energy, don´t fight, don´t get scared, don´t feed the dragons inside.

Today, I went to the Chinese doctor after almost one year of not seeing him. He was so surprised to see me that his only questions was "how can I help you?" I found myself saying - I just came to see you. When we got into his room, I felt it was time to be honest as of how I was feeling and what was going on in my life because if he was going to be able to help me, he had to know what was really going on. As I talked about my issues sleeping and my stress, I realized how I´ve been feeding my fears lately. He didn´t have much to say but "Try not to stress too much, situations can be hard but don´t give it more power than they need to have". He prescribed me a tea and I said thank you.

I think he hit it right on. I´ve been feeding my demons for the past few weeks or months, just getting freaked out and making myself worse because I was just stressing too much. My forest was becoming darker and darker and my Realm was becoming riskier and riskier because its Queen was just hiding scared of the future and the unknown, buying into all the bad societal beliefs such as everything goes wrong.... prepare for the worst! It´s time to just Trust, trust Goddess, Trust the Universe and just surrender so I can manifest my bright future instead of feeding my demons.

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Eureka Moment!!

The other day, one of my students used this phrase to describe a time when she had a sudden awareness of what was going on in her life and discovered a part of herself that she was not aware of before, yes, an Eureka Moment! After she used this phrase, I started thinking about that phrase and how many times we have those moments when reality hits us in the head and we finally see the truth.

Needless to say that I have several moments like that in the past, but last week, I had one that left me thinking so much that I am still in the process of digesting the crucial piece of information about my life and trying to make modifications to get back on track because I think I have derailed sometime early this year.... maybe after my trip to Buenos Aires if I had to pinpoint a time.... mmmm... as you can see I am still digesting.

Last week, I was having lunch with a coworker when we started talking about the year. I found myself saying "Wow, 2012 has not been a good year for me, I broke my foot, I am having some issues with some relationships, my dad´s trip was insane, I got a kidney infection, my coworkers are getting promoted and I am almost there but not, and the list kept going" then it hit me with a big bang bang boom!!!! Eureka Moment!!!! Listen to myself.... oh no... I am becoming one of those ladies that complains about life instead of taking ownership and knowing that somehow I have created that reality in my life, I am becoming them!!!! The ones that I don´t want in my energetic field because they just make my waters murky and my energetic field uneasy.

It was such a realization that it kept me thinking. I came back home that day and looked at the Queen Laws that I wrote earlier this year while studying with Ava Park on the Queen Counseling and I saw it clearly. Two of my laws stated perfectly:

"I manifest my reality - Reality is a manifestation of my thoughts. I change my thoughts, I change my reality."

"Choice and Ownership - I always have the power to choose my reality. I am 100% responsible for my decisions and actions no matter what the results are."

Where was my Queen these months? What type of energies was I experiencing to manifest this reality? What is the message in all these situations? I can see there have been no clear boundaries so I have fallen back into the dark patters of victimhood and overgiving and over complaining. I know I am 100% responsible for them and that somehow I called them in my life. I am sure there was a lesson to be learned or that my Queen had been too busy dealing with the energetic leaks I was having in those moments that couldn´t even have any energy left to manifest a different reality.

One of the reasons why I decided to become a Witch and a Priestess was that I was able to make my own reality. I did not have to just pray to God and wait passively. I could pray to Goddess and also work my magic to make it happen. I could use all the different techniques as visualization, affirmations, spellwork and others to create that reality that I desire without affecting anybody else. Needless to say I was not going casting spells on men to fall in love with me, or something to happen to another person so I could get ahead of the game. I always focus on myself and my needs and wants, then manifest my reality. I remember the time I did a spell to make the paperwork go faster so I could come live in the USA - two months later I was here even though the normal timeframe was 6 months, or the time I needed money to take a class I wanted to take and I perform a prosperity ritual and boom... money came to me. I need to remember those days when I was focus and my energetic field was really working to manifest my needs. I am great at manifestation -both good and bad- so I need to really be mindful of what´s in my mind, what´s in my heart so I don´t go manifesting negative situations because that´s where my energy is focused.

I really had a big awakening moment last week and now to manifest my new reality and take ownership of what I create. What an Eureka Moment!!!!

Blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: Check the Queen Teachings with Ava Park - In person Convocations, online courses, and in person one-on-one counseling!! Also stay tuned for her book... it is coming out soon!!!!
http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

What do I want?

There are times in life when we reach the crossroads and the question becomes what road to take, what the next step is, and define what I want. This past week was very challenging for me as I was very sick and in bed for a few days. During those days, I decided to start watching movies I had at home and one of those movies was the movie called "The Women".  This movie is unique as it only pictures women, there are no men in the movie, not even one. The main character in the movie is going through a divorce after finding out her husband has been cheating on her. At first she pretends she does not know and starts playing games but in the end she gets tired of the games and decides to ask for the divorce. When she is going through this challenging experience, she decides to go to a divorce camp and in there, she meets a lady that tell her she needs to stop worrying about the rest of the world and just focus on herself, she needs to only ask one question "What do I want?" and rediscover herself. This movie really had an impact on me as I feel I am at that level in my life where I have to turn the page and redefine who I am and what I want in life. What helped me before is obsolete now and it has lost its meaning.

I was so inspired by this movie that I decided to turn around my vision board, the one I created in 2011 and just leave it blank with the question "What do I want?" This question is the question that will drive me from now on until I can complete my vision board. My idea is to fill them with my discoveries as they appear and make sure I create the life I want to be living with the people I want to share my time, the rest can fall off the map as there will be no place for that. As Ava Park says, The Queen is the architect of her own life and her realm, she visions, she plans, then she manifests. I think I am ready to draft the map for the next part of my life. Each life has phases and rites of passages, this phase has been outgrown and now it is time to find the next evolution for Queen Carolina who now has different needs and different wants.

As I look at the blank page on my wall, I can see a blank canvas ready to be painted with the vision of the future. I can see the sky is the limit and I can also see that there have been some people in my life that have taken me for granted, that have let go of making an effort to keep the relationship between they and I going and those people will not be part of the new vision. I am sick and tired of being the one giving 110% in relationships, the only one giving and receiving just a little percentage of what I give. It´s time to give and receive so the flow of life can keep going. I don´t want to be dragging relationships where there is no spark, there is no life, there is no connection and I find myself being the only one feeding the relationship while the other person does the bare minimum. I think I deserve a person who is committed 100% to the relationship the same way I am.

At work, I feel I am also in a debate trying to figure out what I want next. Are there opportunities there to continue growing? Is it time to update the resume and start opening myself to other opportunities? What do I want? Do I want something that feels safe but boring and tiring or do I want something that is a little more risky but keeps me growing and evolving?

This week I feel I have touch the bottom of the cauldron, I have got to the very deep end and started questioning everything, and when I say everything, I mean everything. I started thinking for the first time in a long time what is best for me, what is best for Carolina? Not for my family, not for my partner, not for my boss, not for my friends, not for anybody but me because in the end, people leave, jobs end, things go away but what is left is you and only you. I think it is time to do a very honest self inventory and figure out what I want so with clear vision and clear definition I can manifest my realm and be the architect for my future.

Sometimes we linger to people or things because we believe they will change, we believe they will go back to the way it was in the beginning but in doing that we lose our perspective, we lose our power and we lose our vision. We start living our lives based on somebody else´s and in doing that we get lost to the point that we don´t know who we are anymore or what we really want in life. During the past few weeks, I´ve been asking the Goddess for clear vision so I can see and take the next steps to manifest a happy and fulfilled life so I can feel whole and not just the sum of pieces or an incomplete puzzle. Now we my new board, the question just remains....

What do I want?

Many blessings,
Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: The Queen teachings with Ava are coming online!!!! Don´t miss this opportunity to get this teachings, they can change your life too.
http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/

Timing

They say it´s all about timing! The right time to express a feeling, the proper time to leave, the perfect way to change directions. If you are wondering who they is, I am wondering the same thing!!!! Yep, I am not sure how people define what perfect timing is but I know there is something about timing....

Last week I was trying to capture a picture of the Blue Angels in San Francisco, and it was one of the most difficult things to do. You got to see me trying to catch those fast planes.... you could hear them, you could feel them, but you could definitely not see them and plop.... there went another wonderful shot to be!!!! As a partial Italian, you could see me swearing with my hands that I could not catch that shot. My father was with me and he would laugh at my frustration. That did not help for sure! I could hear him saying "relax" in his tone that I found more irritating than anything else. 

This situation really made me thing how many times in life I have experienced that sensation of hearing what was coming, feeling the energies in my gut, and then plop, missed the right time to say something or express a feeling. I have also experienced all those times when we say something at the wrong time and then we are either penalized or just off. What is the right timing? Do you feel it in your gut? Do you think it is the right time? Is it mental or emotional? What is the right timing????

I know that at times I have a perfect plan in my head but many times that plan does not go as I really thought it would. Did I say something wrong again? Did I say something too early? Too late? The other day I was getting a card from an oracle and it told me that we go in spirals, no linear, no timing, just spiraling up. I thought this makes sense and maybe it is the reason why my timing sucks! Well, I am not going to wait for others to make their minds, I am not going to wait for others to make a move, I just will make up my mind and execute according to my own plan. It´s all about timing!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Katy Perry is talking to me.... Spirit has its ways :)

Since Katy Perry´s movie came out on video I´ve been pondering whether to watch it or not, but there was a part inside of me that said... You need to watch this movie. I decided to listen to that little voice and get the movie. In watching Katy´s movie I discovered a strong and unique woman who is not afraid to be who she is and show the world her vision of life. She did not compromise to get famous, she just follow her spark and her songs demonstrate the flavor, passion, and light she has. She is not scared about showing her down times and she is true to herself.

While watching the movie, the song "Part of Me" really stuck with me and as I heard part of the lyrics, I couldn´t help but say... mmmm that sounds like me:

"Now look at me, I´m sparkling,

A firework, a dancing flame

You won´t ever put me out again

I am glowing, oh woah oh

so you can keep the diamond ring

I never like them anyway

In fact you can keep everything

Yeah, yeah

Except for me"

Are you selling yourself for anybody? Are you just settling for less than what you deserve? Are you letting others put your flame out because you are not strong enough to say No. And the question becomes "Who am I leaving for?"

"Heavy is head that wears the crown

Don´t let the greatness get you down.

I can see the writing on the wall

I can´t ignore this war

At the end of it all

Who am I living for?"

It´s not easy to be a Queen these days and the crown can feel heavy at times because we are aware women. When we are faced with people challenging our authority and our realms, we become defensive and we need to decide whether this is a battle we want to fight or just let go. The only thing that we can not do is ignore the situation and pretend nothing is happening. If we start living for others instead of from our center, then the vision for our realm is threatened and we have turned our back to our realm and become somebody else´s realm. Don´t compromise your vision for life because you are a firework!

"Boom, boom, boom,

Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon.

It´s always been inside of you, you, you,

And now it´s time to let it through

Cause baby you´re a firework,

Come on, show them what you´re worth

Make them go, ho

As you shoot across the sky"

As I heard this song I couldn´t help but think about my own uniqueness and my purpose in life. We are all destined for greatness and we can not let anybody bring us down. We need to shoot for the moon and be the best we are meant to be no matter what the situation is. Sometimes, when I see my father and his ways, I know they are different from mine and today I felt that he may not support my vision for life or my plan as a Queen and I will not compromise, I am a Queen by my own right and I oversee my realm, the question becomes whether he wants to be part of that realm or not. It´s that simple!

"I´m not saying that it´s a piece of cake

Just take a moment to reevaluate

The possibilities

The situations

The opportunities

That are waiting

Oh, the possibilities, 

Oh, I

It could, it could be that simple

(you were thinking)

Life should be that simple

(Who would have thought it)

I wish it were just so simple

(don´t know what you were thinking)

You´re in a haze

It´s just a phase

You know this maze

Is as simple as it seems"

Songs come and go but every now and then, we find songs that speak to our souls and times in life. We feel as if the singer is talking to us when she is singing and telling our lives´stories. I know Katy Perry is talking to me these days. Spirit has chosen the medium to talk to me and Katy has been the channel. It is as simple as it seems.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina 

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Honesty

They say the truth will set you free! Little did I know when I got the Wise Woman of Wonderland  in the oracle I consulted this morning, things will turn out to be the way they did. The Wise Woman of Wonderland is about honesty and speaking your truth. She says honesty will pay off and it definitely did.

For the first time in my life, I was able to sit down and have a heart to heart discussion with my dad. I was able to express all my feelings for the past two years and the things I have been going through, feelings, emotions, thoughts, everything. It was an open discussion and I really put everything on the table. It was amazing to hear him say "You are a strong and powerful woman, you will survive anywhere you go, you are the hero in the family" It seems that my family has been talking about me and saying that I was the one strong enough to go away and survive; not only survive, but thrive. I have no idea some saw me as the heroine of the story who is strong enough to go for her destiny, leave everything behind and still stand strong and be successful. 

It was very nice to hear these words of confidence and strength when I´ve been shaking and feeling doubtful as of whether I can survive at all. Am I ready for the next step? Am I ready to be myself again? Am I ready to be independent and not collapse?

It all started with the movie Eat, Pray and Love because it is one of my favorite movies and my dad watched it today so he had to ask what was going on. Funny enough I heard myself saying... "I am not going to go getting tickets to go visit other countries, daddy" I think we both smile at that time but we both know that I am a grown up woman and no matter what happens in my future, he knows I hold my vision, I hold my rules, and as a Queen of my Realm, I am sovereign and I own my destiny. I will vision it and manifest it. 

It was nice to be able to open up and express my fears from the past and know that he also knows I will be ok because I am a strong woman and I can stand on my own. Honesty did set me free today.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina 

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Picking our battles

Can you win this battle? A Queen only engages in battles when she is going for the winning, she does not waste energy or time trying to go into a battle that will have no positive result because battle is the last resort. 

Today, I decided to talk to my father because there were some things that have been bothering me and I felt they were unacceptable behavior even from an elder. The conversation did not go the way I expected and he closed down so I decided that was not a battle worth fighting for. Trying to convince him to open up and listen to my thoughts was not an option for him and I felt it was not worth spending my energy on that since I was leaking my energy with his behavior already. Sometimes we just have to let go and accept that some people are not ready and they will not change so we either love them the way they are or we let them go. This is not the first time in my life that I encounter somebody like that. A person who is just concerned about himself and that only cares about his needs instead of looking at the others and what the others need. Those people are just ready to put their needs up front but never realize that in relationships there is a come and go, there is a sharing, there is a 50/50 proportion. It´s not all about me in relationships. I find it fascinating that my own father could be somebody like that. I can be sitting at home for 3 hours doing nothing while he naps but then if I decide to go out... that´s the time he wanted to share or spend with me??? Really? I say that´s not acceptable and I will not tolerate that behavior. Even less I will tolerate the fact that things are said to me when I have giving 110%, I have a clean conscience, the question becomes - can you say the same? I have restructured my life to welcome him, changed things for him, and I don´t expect recognition but I do expect more than a .... ohhhh you eat too many calories, or you eat too many sweets. That´s not acceptable for me anymore, I have tolerated this behavior for a long time because I have let others abuse me to the level I abuse myself. I am not abusing myself anymore so now, I don´t accept abuse from others. I will just adapt my behavior to make sure that the rules are clear.

We pick our battles and sometimes it´s better to retrieve in time so we can get strong and come back. In the Art of War, the author talks about looking at the opponent´s move before planning yours. It´s about strategy. I have made my move, I have put my feelings on the table and whether they were heard or not, I know I have said it. Now I will adjust my behavior accordingly and see what happens. I will not let anybody manipulate me but I will pick my battles carefully. I don´t need to fight every battle that comes across. I can let it go.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Feeling Empty... what do you do?

There are times in life when you feel you have no more energy left. You have been running around, trying to do million things at a time, going here and there, meeting everyone else´s needs but your own, and the question becomes - What do you do when you feel you are running on empty?

When I started studying the Queen Teachings with Ava Park, she mentioned that we are like containers filled with energy and that if we have holes in our containers we will leak our precious energy and not have any to manifest our visions and dreams. This idea really stuck with me because I can always feel there are certain activities and people that drain my energy. For example, my work environment can be quite toxic at time because the company´s culture is about exceeding expectations and you can not live giving 110% for a long period of time as it is not sustainable. The consequence is having lots of very unhappy employees radiating negative energy in the environment that after time becomes quite toxic. Being exposed to this type of energy for a long period of time generates exhaustion as it is hard to shield oneself when everyone else is complaining, gossiping, and pessimistic (all energy leaking activities in my book). 

If we take another example, we always have that person that complains about everything, she or he is always playing the victim or being a martyr as if everything bad in the world happens to him or her. These people usually try to suck the energy of others and if you find one of those, you may want to be clear in your communication as that behavior is not acceptable for you and that it needs to change or you will withdraw yourself from that relationship. The question becomes - what do you do when that negative person is in your family and you are not able to be as clear or direct? I still believe that we should talk to them and try to make them understand that the behavior is not life affirming and that if they want to spend time with you, they really need to work on that. Every year, my father comes to visit me for my birthday and spends a month with me. He is the type of person that believes he can fix everyone´s problem or he has an opinion about everyone´s lives. He talks about my husband, my friends, my family, nobody is safe and he always thinks that they are doing something wrong. I find this type of behavior very toxic because his life is not all resolved, he is not an ascended master that has achieve enlightenment so he can shed light to everyone. This behavior for me is draining and I also find it insulting because part of being a Priestess is to work on yourself first, in ritual, in life, with your actions and your vision. You will not go fixing other people´s lives when yours is a mess, you first work on yourself and then that reflects in the world around you. Having studied with Ava for almost a year and having my queen coming out very strong, I am finding my father´s behavior almost unbearable but I am still trying to find a way to communicate this situation without making him feel bad but also trying to set a boundary that this type of behavior is draining me. I am sure I will find a way soon! My Queen is really working on it lately.

These situations have left me quite empty in the past month and at times I feel blue and sad. In order to refill my container, I have found hiking, biking, reading and writing very useful. I also like taking bubble baths to cleanse myself and get back to my queenly being. Another thing that I enjoy is going to the ocean and spending time close to the sea. What do you do when you are feeling empty? I am looking for ideas. I usually provide ideas in my blogs but this time I am looking for suggestions from all of you. I look forward to reading your comments!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: Ava Park´s book is coming out in October... we are almost there!!! and the Queen teachings will become available online in October as well. Stay tunned!

http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

Instant Gratification... I want it now with no effort!

Today, I was working out in the gym when I saw this commercial on the television saying "New University Study, No Diet Needed, No Work Out Needed, No Surgery... Lose weight now" and I couldn´t help but think what type of society we live in these days. Are we just so off that we think we can achieve our goals with 0 effort?  Last month, I was reading the book by Rosetta Former "Las Reinas son del Planeta que se les da la gana" (The Queens are from the planet they want) and in that book, she was mentioning something similar in regards to the book "The Secret" and how people thought that just by imagining something it would happen. She disagreed with this concept and thought that we co-create our reality with the energies provided by the universe. We can vision and plan, but we also need to put the energy to manifest our dreams. There is no magic pill to make our dreams come true, they come with helping the universe manifest those things we want in our lives.

Here I was, working out and sweating while seeing a commercial that promised that I could achieve the same result without having to make that effort. Is this too good to be true? Do we live in a society that wants instant gratification and want to get things with no effort? It´s like expecting to get a new job but not updating your resume. Buying a house but not saving money to get there. Do people really think that they just want something and it will manifest without any effort?

I am not saying that I don´t believe in the power of the Laws of Attraction but I do think we still need to do our part to help the Universe provide us with those things we need and want. It´s like magick, you create a spell, you cast it, then you let it go but in the meantime you do the things that will help you attain the end goal. For example, if you want to get a new job, you cast the spell and then you update the resume and apply to different positions or ads you see so you can help the Universe bring you your perfect job. 

There is no such a thing about getting something without putting some energy on manifesting it, whether it is visioning it, affirming it, planning it, it takes some energy on our parts to achieve our dreams... there is no instant gratification when it comes to manifest the life you are meant to live. 

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of the Circulo de Isis

Test Time

After studying with Rev. Ava Park for almost one year, the time has come for the big Queen test. My dad is visiting me during this month and if somebody knows how to push my buttons... that´s him! He has the ability to take me from 0 to 180 in a matter of seconds. I am not sure if it is the fact that he is always giving unsolicited advice or trying to fix everyone´s lives but at times it gets tiring. Both my husband and I are sort of sick right now and since my father arrived, he has been telling me what my husband should do, what my husband should eat, what my husband should drink... the list goes on and on. The other day, I was just so tired of it that I told him straight that I am not my husband´s mother and he is not a child, he is an adult and can eat, drink or do whatever he pleases and that´s ok.

While I was waiting for the car to get washed, I started thinking how to act so this situation does not drive me insane by the end of his visit. I even texted my best friend saying that I needed to find a way... the response I got was "Like a Queen." I couldn´t stop smiling because my friend was right, I needed to get back into my queen self, the self that has been more present in my life for the past year, and deal with the situation from that perspective. I need to incorporate more silence because when I respond, I get upset and I engage and I am too personal, too hot. If I use silence, I can remain impersonal while in my head I repeat the mantra "this is not about me, this is his projection, this is his way of seeing it, this is not my way."

I also handed my father my Queen Laws in Spanish so he knows what the rules of this house are and the fact that he needs to abide by them. I have my Laws posted in the house in English but now I incorporated them in Spanish so he can not pretend he does not understand the Law of the Land.

In thinking of how to react, I remembered when Ava said that the Queen uses humor to deal with some situations and I think that will be my strategy going forward.... "Oh dad, you are so funny" then walk away and not engage. I think it is better than engaging and trying to make him think my way since he will never do that. In using humor I will be able to disengage and just take my power back. If something does cross one of my boundaries, then clarity and honesty in communications will be the way.

It has only been 5 days since he arrived and I already feel this is Test Time. Big Queen Test Time!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: The Queen Teachings are coming online in October. If you are not able to participate in a Convocation, you can still have the opportunity to learn them online. Ava Park´s Queen of Your Own Realm book is also coming out in October. Keep your eyes open!

http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

Tambien estaran en Español!!!

Dealing with being an Enneagram # 2

When Rev. Ava Park introduced me to the Wisdom of the Enneagram, I did not realize she was providing me with a tool for a lifetime. There are many tools out there that help you work with your shadow self and those dark areas we sometimes fear to look at but the Enneagram is one of those tools that provides very fast results and allows you to be aware of those areas that can be challenging. 

When I started my Enneagram journey, I thought I was a #3 but after working with Ava, I discovered I am a # 2 and as the name says it - the helper. Each enneagram type has the positive and the challenging traits and for twos the positive is that we are open hearted, we give from the heart and we always anticipate other people´s needs. The challenging areas are connected to the over giving mother, people pleasing and a hard time when being alone.  

During the past few weeks, I´ve been working on the challenging traits of the twos. Even without noticing, I planned a trip to Half Moon Bay on my own - just just me and myself. That was the first time that I had traveled for fun just on my own. Usually when I travel alone, I do it for business or because there is some purpose - attend a conference, visit a friend, etc, but this time I was just going away to relax, have some fun, and recharge my energies. 

After the Queen Convocation in Orange County two weeks ago, I decided to start being completely clear and honest in my communications. I was to avoid people pleasing behavior as well as victimization or passive aggressive communications.  During the first week after the Convocation, I had a very heated conversation with my boss. She was communicating in a very unprofessional way telling me she was anal retentive (and yes we know that) so I told her I was a perfectionist and the way the communication went ended with her smiling and backing down. In the past, I would have never responded the way I did but this time, I just said what I thought and I did not fear. It was time for clear communication and get to the same level because she would not have responded if I had said her communication style was unprofessional and disrespectful. 

The third lesson I am working on is to give from the heart without any expectation of return. Twos have a tendency to give too much and then become resentful and angry. I do not want to be one of those people who are always angry and saying "Because I did this or that for you...." and expecting something in return. I have begun to not offer help every time something comes up and if I do, it is really because I want to and not because I feel I need to please somebody or what something in return even if that something is a person saying how nice I am or how good I am. I am also learning to love myself first and not expect others to appreciate me or value me for what I do but yes for who I am.

The enneagram is an amazing tool and I highly recommend it to anybody who wants to work on their challenging traits, grow and evolve.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

Note: Thank you Ava for your teachings and your knowledge

http://www.goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

Effective today - clear and direct communications

I had the opportunity to participate in yet another amazing Queen Convocation with Rev. Ava Park in the Goddess Temple of Orange County last weekend. These events are enlightening, eye-opening, thought-provoking. Not only Ava is an amazing teacher and speaker, but her teachings are just priceless. As I was telling my Priestess-Sister, Lady Jesamyn Angelica, this was our third convocation and the saying says "three times a charm" so now we are Queens!!! 

Each convocation is unique and provides me with an opportunity to re-evaluate a part of my life or several parts. This time, the topic that really resonated with me was the one about communication. Per Ava, the Queen communicates clearly, directly and honestly. She is not one of using passive aggressive remarks, she does not go around or says what she does not mean, she does not keep quiet when something bothers her but when she communicates the situation, she is impersonal and like Ava would say "She sheds light and walks away." She does not engage in angry conversations and does not participate in arguments that will not take her anywhere. She does not feed the fire of a fight. For me, this is such a big lesson because I am a Latin woman and hot blood runs through my veins. When something bothers me, I tend to react and hit where it hurts (thanks to my Mars in Scorpio).

When I heard Ava talking about the communication style of a Queen, I couldn´t help but think that my next year - from my birthday this year to my birthday next year - I want to focus on my communication style. I started thinking of all the times I use sarcasm as a way of communicating when I could directly say what I meant - I know I have the words! I have also used passive aggressive behaviors or manipulative ways in the past instead of saying what was really bothering me or really taking a step back and meditating why those behaviors in others were really pushing my buttons. What was that was bothering me? Was it really that person or situation or was it something that came from the past? What was motivating me to try to manipulate and control de situation? It´s so easy to fall into those patterns when our self esteem is not strong, when our container is leaking and we are exhausted and everything is just too much for us. The Queen is here to shed light, to set boundaries, and to help us not get to those extreme situations were we just turn into our shadow selves. 

Effective today, I will communicate clearly, honestly, directly and with compassion. Thank you Ava for another wonderful lesson!!

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina

Note: The Queen Teachings are coming online in October. If you are not able to participate in a Convocation, you can still have the opportunity to learn them online. Ava Park´s Queen of Your Own Realm book is also coming out in October. Keep your eyes open!

http://goddesstempleoforangecounty.com/About_Rev_Ava.html

Flat Tire

Transportation has been the topic of Mercury´s shadow period this time around. It all started on June 20 when I broke my left foot till today when they removed the boot that has been supporting my foot for the past 8 weeks. Breaking my foot limited my mobility and my ability to bike, hike, and even walk. Things became complicated. Luckily, I broke my left foot and I have an automatic car so I was able to drive myself around.

Last weekend, as I was walking on the beach, I tripped once again and I broke the flip flop I was wearing. I was on the other side of the beach trail and I had to walk back to my car. The ground was so tough and it was funny to see two guys passing me and making a comment that it was bad for me to be on the boot and at that time I was more concerned about the foot that was not on the boot as it hurt to walk on the pavement. It´s very interesting how perspectives change once you get used to a situation. At that time, the boot was natural for me and the flip flop was my transportation issue.

I still could not help but think about the issues with the feet in the past few weeks and how it seemed that I was stepping in the wrong direction or the universe was slowing me down. On Monday, I woke up and as I was going to work, the flat tire light came on and I had to take the car to the shop to fix the tire. I spent two hours in the shop with another transportation issue. Then I started meditating how the universe was pushing me to slow down, to not rush, to not run.

Today, as they removed the boot from my foot, once again I find myself walking very slow and trying to get used to not having the boot. First, I was slow with the boot, now I am slow without the boot. I know Mercury usually slows things down so we can meditate, rethink, and make new decisions. Today as I feel I have to learn how to walk once again, I am thankful the boot is gone and I am looking forward to what the path ahead brings.

Many blessings,

Lady Carolina
Presiding Priestess of the Circulo de Isis

Next Step

As I prepare for my doctor´s appointment next Wednesday, I can´t help but look back at the boot journey and what it has meant to me. When I broke my foot in June, I was very disappointed at the idea of having to be in the boot for most of the summer. I thought about all the things I was not able to do - biking, hiking, swimming (in the beginning), and some other things. I felt weak and fragile because I had to ask for help, I had to depend on others when I have always been superwoman, being able to do everything myself and not depending on anybody. I had to learn to receive help because when people see you with this boot, believe me, they want to help you! 

As the days passed and I started getting used to my supportive companion (yes... because it definitely supported my broken foot!), I realized how many times I had taken things for granted and we only realize we don´t have them when they are gone. Why can´t we be grateful everyday for all the good things in our lives? It goes from waking up in the morning to being able to breath everyday. How many relationships have we taken for granted? Have you woken up one day and found that a friend is gone because you neglected the relationship so much that it just broke?

Getting closer to the point of saying good bye to the boot, I start thinking what is the next step. Was I not able to take the next step so my foot broke? Was my foundation too rigid or too soft? Was my foundation not solid enough so I could step confidently into the future? 

This weekend has been very transformational for me. For the first time in my life, I decided to go away to take care of myself. On Thursday, I felt I needed to go away to refocus my energy and have some ME time. I asked the Goddess to guide me and I found this beautiful hotel in Half Moon Bay. I´ve been craving lobster for a while so I decided to make a reservation for a very special dinner with the most important person in my life, ME. As I drove to Half Moon Bay, I could feel my inner child excited about the adventure of going to a place I have never been before. When I got to the hotel, I found this beautiful paradise. My room was spectacular and the ladies in the front desk were very nice. As I talked to my father and told him I had gone on a little ME retreat, he told me that sometimes the ocean calls you and you have to go. Yes!!!! I have that in the genes and I take after my father in that sense, LOL. 

During dinner, I brought my book with me just in case I felt uncomfortable eating by myself. Little did I know I was in for a dinner of a lifetime. The food was amazing and they gave me a table where I could see the ocean while eating. I found myself enjoying dinner, the view and the attention I was getting from the server who I think was fascinated about the fact that I was all by myself and I was enjoying myself plenty. There is something to be said about how people look at you when you are a woman by yourself. People expect that you have a partner or a girlfriend, but an empowered woman alone really gets the center light and the fascination from others. After dinner, I went to the beach and for the first time, I took my boot out and walk on the sand. It felt so good! I was carrying the boot like if it was my baby. Yes, for 7 weeks this boot was my support and now I was supporting it by carrying it with me. 

When I got back to the hotel, I decided to ask the ladies in the front desk if they have a glass for wine. I was determined I was not going to drink my wine on a plastic cup. We need to treat ourselves the way we want others to treat us... no more plastic cups! The lady at the front desk brought me a beautiful glass and smile at me deeply because she knew it was time for hot tub and wine!

Today, I decided to go to the beach so I could play with the sand and the water. As I started walking on the trail, I noticed that it was quite complex to get down to the beach as there were some cliffs and I had my boot on... Finally I found a place where I felt I could go down. As I reached the water, I felt so empowered! I had been able to get there without the boot and my foot was feeling fine. That´s when I realized that I do not need to have a solid foundation to take the next step, but instead I need to have a flexible foundation because if I am solid and rigid, everything can break but if I am flexible, no matter how big the earthquake is, it will not break me, I will just twist and turn but not break. I know I am ready to take the next step. I have learned my lesson and it´s time to take the next step.

Many Blessings,

Lady Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

2012 - Five Months Left

We have passed the threshold for 2012, half year is gone and we have another half to go. This is the time to start thinking what are those goals you set up in 2011 that make no sense at all, what are the things that you can let go of, and what are the things that you need to focus on so you can finish 2012 strong. 

For me, 2012 started with a Mandarin Round II that did not last too long... yes, 2012 showed me that Mandarin was a very complex language and if I wanted to learn it well, I would have to sacrifice so many other things to make time for that activity so it did not pass the test... yep, you read it right, it did not pass the test of time because I was not ready to just drop everything I like in life just to focus on that language.

2012 also showed me that no matter how much we plan, we always have to factor the element of surprise and we need to keep in mind that plans are just guidelines and we will need to adjust. Breaking my foot in middle June showed me that all that I had planned for the summer would need to be placed on hold and that the universe really wanted me to slow down and feel how it is to not go 1000 miles an hour.

2012 also showed me that Buenos Aires is the place I was born but not the place I would like to live anymore. After visiting my family there, I realized that the US is my home now and that the things I may take for granted in this country are not as easy to attain in other places so I should be grateful everyday for all I have and really count my blessings.

2012 is also my Queen year because since late 2011, I started studying with Ava Park and since then, my life has changed completely. I have regained a part of me that was hidden and the more it comes out, the happier my life is, and the more empowered I am as a woman and as a Priestess. 

Now we have 5 more months to go till the end of the year and in those months, I decided to start studying Italian because it is a language that makes me happy and I feel very connected to it as part of my heritage is from that country. I also want to focus on being healthy and whole... yes, that implies working out even with my broken foot. My first question for the doctor once he said I needed to be in the boot for another four weeks was ... what can I do for work out? So now I have a plan, I want to lose some weight and get stronger during the second part of the year. I also want to focus on letting go of all those things that don´t serve me anymore such as things I could give away because I haven´t used in year... yes, time to make space for the new and we can only do that when we let go of the old.

What do you want to accomplish in the next five months? What have you accomplished so far? Is there anything you set up as a goal but it is irrelevant now? This is the time to evaluate, plan, and implement for the final months of 2012... there are only five months left. What will you do?

Many blessings,

Carolina

Presiding Priestess of Circulo de Isis

La Verace Via (The True Path)

Buon Pomeriggiomy friends! Yes... Welcome to the new Carolina Amor-Boggs adventure- Italian!!! As being a Priestess Queen with a broken foot was not enough... now we have a new goal - learn Italian and visit Italy in 2013! As some of you know, my ancestors from my mother´s side are Italian and German while my dad´s side is Spanish and Greek. After a lot of thought, I decided to study Italian because is such a passionate language, so sexy, so fiery.... so me! Not only do I talk with the hands but I am also intense and passionate - Italian runs in my blood! The Borello in me is coming out now! If I had to use all my last names my name would be very long - Carolina Amor Borello Tieri Knorp Boggs - yep! too long!!! But the heritage is there and the blood starts calling and we can not turn our heads the other side. I am wondering why English called me... mmmm.... keep tight... next blog :)

A few weeks ago, I started reading the book "Finding your own north star - claiming the life you were meant to live by Martha Beck" and that´s when I came across the concept of "La Verace Via" and how finding the true path is part of our essential self. Martha believes that we have two selves - one is the social self and the other one is the essential self. The social self is based on our society, traditions, family and culture while the essential self is the inner core that knows what our purpose in this lifetime is. La Verace Via comes from the Divine Comedy and Martha says that we are all heroes of our own lives (well, heroines) and that if we connect our social self with the essential self we can find our path to our North Star (our purpose in life). 

When I read this, I immediately felt called to continue reading this book because there is something about our True Path that really calls me because I do believe we are here on this Earth to fulfill our purpose and to be who we are meant to be and not the ones that others want us to be. La Verace Via is my motto in life and I really started meditating on this phrase and the current state of affairs in my personal life. As I meditated I couldn´t help but think about my broken foot and what the meaning of this event could be. Am I not ready for the next step in life? Do I need to slow down? Am I going to fast in life? When I went to the doctor yesterday and I found out I had to be with this boot for another 4 weeks, I was highly disappointed... yep Das Boot is here to stay for a little longer (yep- the German is also coming out). Das Boot is here to teach me a lesson in my true path... meditate, think, evaluate and then step firmly into the future because shy steps will not do it. The message from the universe is that I am not ready for the next step so I need to proceed with caution... pay attention... and never forget to listen to my essential self because that´s the part that will guide me to my North Star.... my Verace Via.

What´s your Verace Via? What´s your Essential Self telling you now? Are you in the right path? Don´t get a broken foot to realize you are stepping into life wrong... just listen to your heart, follow your essential self guidance and find your Verace Via!

Many blessings,

Carolina

Presiding Priestess of the Circulo de Isis